by Eva Muñoz
“Shhh, shhh, breathe,” Troyan murmured. He was already walking swiftly away from the sounds of fighting. I couldn’t see Perrin or Gaige, but I was sure they were nearby. “You will be good as new in no time.”
Somehow, even if his face looked worried, I believed Troyan. There couldn’t be that much pain without something good happening at the end of it. I needed to believe. I needed to.
A small groan left my lips. A dull ache pulsed on my collarbone. I took a deep breath, which hurt, but the scent of morning dew—of Troyan—made me forget the pain. I exhaled slowly. The sense of smell was the last to go of my superpowers.
Even in dim light, I had a perfect view of Troyan’s face. His gaze fell to mine. Troyan smiled. A smile so slow, so deliberate, that I forgot what I was thinking of for a second. He bent his head and took my lips with his, never stopping his easy stride forward. I touched his face and felt the feverish heat of his skin. I was human again, I knew it deep down, but his kisses affected me profoundly just the same. The shivers alone were heaven, coating my little aches and pains with divine pleasure.
The kiss ended when Gaige caught up to Troyan and touched my cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m a guest waiting for Death to open the door to the house of hell,” I said, my voice raspy. My throat felt raw.
Gaige smiled. “Then you’ll be fine. But we still need to hurry. We aren’t safe yet.”
I felt a sudden chill go down my back. “Perrin? Zaire?” I whispered, my worry bubbling over.
Again Gaige answered, “Perrin is right behind us, and Zaire is with the Vityas, trying to restore order.”
I let myself exhale in relief. Vladimir hadn’t killed Zaire. He was all right.
“Troyan?” I said, touching the jumping muscle on his jaw. “Put me down.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I can walk. Put me down.”
His grumbling was like boulders rolling down a mountain.
“I will not put you down,” Troyan finally said.
I struggled in his arms, pushing at his chest with my hands and thrashing my legs. He had no choice but to put me down. My feet touched the cold ground. I held on to him until I regained my balance. His arms were around me protectively. I smiled, making him snort in disgust.
Leaning to the side so I could see Gaige and Perrin, I said, “Can you give us a minute?”
Gaige was about to protest, but Perrin took the hint and started dragging him back down the way we came.
“Now,” I said, turning back to Troyan, “take me back.”
“I am taking you back,” he said, his face going from stoic to confused.
“Not to the academy. Take me back to the colony.”
“I will not return you there in your condition.” His brows came together. “You are not safe there anymore.”
“It was never safe, but I was with you,” I argued. “I was with Gaige, with Perrin, with Zaire. You all kept me safe.” My hoarse throat fought my attempt to raise my voice. Angry tears welled up. “Back at the academy, I will be alone. I don’t want to be alone, Troyan.”
In a swift move, I was in Troyan’s sweltering embrace. I was too angry and frustrated.
“Do you think this is easy for me?” Troyan challenged. “You must be somewhere safe, and the only place I know is at the academy.”
“Gaige must still have the formula. He can turn me into one of you again. If I’m one of you, I’ll be safe here.”
My shoulder grew damp. It took me a moment to realize the wetness was tears… Troyan’s tears.
I felt him swallow hard. “He already injected you with the plague. If you do not get medical attention, you will die. If you become one of us again, the formula will eat you from the inside out.” His own anger and frustration was palpable. “I cannot let that happen.”
I couldn’t see his face. I wanted to turn and look at him, but Troyan was hiding. I reached up and squeezed the back of his neck.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I said, tears in my voice too.
We stood in each other’s embrace, no longer sure who was holding whom. All I knew was I didn’t want to leave this Inshari who held on to me as if to let go was to give up. But I was at my wits end when it came to finding excuses to stay. All I had left was my stubbornness. I wasn’t budging. He would have to forcibly separate me from him if he wanted me to go.
After another heartbeat of silence, I spoke. “Troyan, I—”
“Troyan!” Gaige’s yell echoed, followed by the sounds of running. “Take him away. They’re coming!”
“No!” I said. “I’m not going back to the academy.”
I was already in Troyan’s arms when the last of what I said intermingled with the sounds of countless feet stomping along the tunnel floor. I called Troyan’s name as loud as I could, but he wasn’t listening to me. His attention was on running as fast as he could. I kept asking him to take me back, but my panicked requests were ignored.
In seconds we reached the tunnel, and at the end of it was the elevator. Gaige took out a key card and slipped it into a slot beside the doors. He quickly punched in the code onto the number pad, and the doors opened. Perrin ran into the elevator. Gaige joined her.
“Take him,” Troyan said to Gaige, handing me off like luggage.
“What about you?” I asked.
He ignored me when he said, “My sword.”
Perrin handed him the ceremonial sword he’d used for the Sword Dance. Troyan checked the blade before turning his back on the elevator.
“No! I won’t leave without you!” I screamed, wiggling out of Gaige’s hold.
He growled at me. “You have to go. I have to stay and make sure you aren’t followed.”
Troyan shoved me into the elevator. The sounds of our pursuers grew louder, bouncing off the tunnel walls, making it impossible to determine how many were after us. I struggled to get out of the elevator, but Troyan’s grip was too strong.
He bent his head until his lips claimed mine in a hard kiss. Time stopped. The sounds of our pursuers and the yells of Perrin and Gaige to hurry disappeared. All that mattered was that kiss. And just as quickly, Troyan leaned away.
“Forgive me,” he whispered before I passed out.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Limbo
I GLANCED at the clock by the door. It had been seven days, ten hours, twenty-seven minutes since the night I woke up in a hospital room screaming Troyan’s name. Aleksander Kiev, who sat on a stool beside my bed, had his heavy eyebrows knitted in concentration. Apparently, my screams had prompted a nurse to rush in and sedate me. I didn’t know why I had woken up screaming. And I didn’t have any answers for Kiev when he asked. I couldn’t even remember what I had been dreaming of. Everything mixed together in one black, drug-induced blur. I did know I wanted to go back into my dream, whatever it was about. If dreaming was my way of seeing Troyan again, then I’d rather be asleep than sit and chat with the headmaster. I stared at the closed blinds to my right, ignoring the ache in my chest.
“Where am I?” I rasped out.
“The European Medical Center in Moscow,” he said in his rolling accented English. “You will need to stay another week for observation.”
“What for?”
“They found traces of the bubonic plague in your system, which they are now treating with doses of antibiotics. They cannot figure out how you contracted it. Between you and me, let us keep it that way. You also have a long cut just above your collarbone, but they say it is healing nicely. Some bumps and bruises, a bite mark above your hip, but no internal bleeding. It took a lot of arm-twisting to dissuade them from calling the authorities. Luckily, I am friends with the chief of surgery.”
“Of course, you are,” I mumbled under my breath. After a brief pause, I tore my gaze away from the nothing I was staring at and looked Kiev in the eye. “Any news?”
From the way Kiev shook his head, I could tell he knew what I meant. My heart fell. I tried to convince myself that no news was goo
d news. If something had happened to Troyan, then Kiev would tell me. At least, I hoped he would.
“Troyan—”
“There is really nothing, Camron.”
I didn’t believe him. Gaige and Perrin must have filled him in on what had happened because not once did Kiev ask me about my time with the Inshari. He was keeping something from me. I was sure of it.
“So.” I looked back at the blinds. “Does this mean I’m expelled? Like, for real this time?”
Kiev heaved a weighty sigh. “I do not see the point of depriving you of an education. You already know the secret of Braylin, and I will trust that you are not foolhardy enough to involve anyone in the dangers you have experienced. Am I making myself clear?”
I released a sigh of my own. “Absolutely.”
I needed to be back in school if I wanted to find a way back to the colony. This wasn’t over. If Troyan thought knocking me out and putting Kiev on babysitting duty would keep me away, then he was dead wrong. I had broken curfew before for less.
“Here.” Kiev handed me a black rectangular device.
I stared at it, taking a few seconds to recognize it. “My phone,” I said. “Huh. I thought I’d lost it.”
“I charged it for you.” Kiev stood up and headed for the door. He paused and looked at me over his shoulder. “I will be back in one week to pick you up. And I thought you should know, your father has been informed of your stay here.”
Dropping his bomb, he opened the door and walked out without waiting for a reaction from me. It wasn’t much of a reaction anyway. All I felt was numb. My father knew about my hospital stay, and yet he didn’t even bother sending word to me. Not even a call.
I stared at my phone for the longest time. I thought about what Troyan had said to me in a different hospital room. Thinking of him hurt, but I wanted to test his theory about my father. If he was wrong, then the worst that could happen was my father would continue ignoring me. But if he was right… I didn’t even want to go there. If I started to hope now, a letdown would irreparably shatter me.
I took a deep breath and scanned my contacts list for the number I hadn’t used in almost a year. I tapped the green Call button and prayed the person on the other line wouldn’t pick up. After the third ring, my prayer wasn’t answered.
“Hello,” said the coldest voice in the history of cold voices.
My heart constricted for a painful second. I couldn’t back down now even if it would be all too easy to tap the red Call-End button. I reminded myself to breathe.
“Dad,” I said; my voice was a touch shaky.
Complete silence on the other end. I checked the screen in case the call cut, but the seconds counting up said otherwise. I bit my lip and waited.
Then a long-suffering sigh stopped my heart. “Camron, I’m just about to walk into—”
A sense of urgency gave me the courage I needed. “I’ll make it quick.” I inhaled. “Someone really important to me said that maybe the reason you push me away is because you’re afraid. That if you don’t love me, then you won’t have to lose me. I didn’t believe him at first. But the more I think about it now, the more I think he makes sense.”
“Camron—”
“I just wanted to tell you that I understand,” I said, my fear giving me wings. “Please, just think about what I said. When you’re ready to talk, you know where—”
I heard the line cut before I could finish the last of my sentence. I stared at the words Call Ended on the screen. I’d managed to say what I needed to say, but I didn’t feel any better. I hugged my phone to my chest and curled up into the smallest ball I could possibly make.
I wanted to be with Troyan so badly that I’d give anything to find out if he was okay. He could be so selfish when it came to doing what he thought was best. It frightened me to think of what could have happened to him in the tunnel. But I held on to my faith in his strength. It was all I had left to keep me sane. For the first time since I met the Inshari, I had never felt more unsure of my safety. Without Troyan by my side, I was vulnerable and alone.
The next day, Riya arrived. She arranged the flowers she brought in a pitcher of water since my room didn’t have a vase. I was happy to see her, but the emotion didn’t quite reach my heart. Each beat still felt broken, like a vital piece was missing.
“You know, I didn’t believe you were on retreat when the headmaster told me,” she said cautiously. “But when he explained that you needed the time to get away so the rumors about your probation would die down, I thought he was right.”
I shrugged, staring at the whiteness of my bed sheet. It reminded me of the ultrawhite walls of the palace. The one place I would rather be.
“I’m sorry, Riya. Really. Thank you so much for coming.” I crumpled the sheet in my hands.
“They said you were injured on your retreat—and were in a coma for a week! You have to tell me what happened,” she said all wide-eyed. “I nearly had a stroke when I found out.”
I shrugged again, my shoulders feeling heavier now. “Not much to tell.” I concentrated on breathing. “I fell on a hike. I don’t remember much after that.”
She blushed beet red. “If you weren’t injured, I’d smack you, Camron Masters.”
I wished she would. Maybe she would knock me out, and I would wake up from this reality into my dream.
After Riya left I was even more unsettled. Somehow knowing I had returned to something familiar didn’t help. My life was forever changed, and I couldn’t quite tell if I would ever fit into my old one ever again.
The week passed quickly. The plague was fully out of my system, and most of my strength had returned. After I left the hospital, I spent my first week of school in a total daze. I walked down hallways without a care as to who I bumped into. I just kept going, plowing through anything and anyone. My classmates quickly learned to get out of the way when they saw me.
My uniform chafed. The cotton, button-down shirt irritated my skin. The blazer felt heavy on my body. The necktie choked. I longed for cravats, billowing sleeves, and boots to my knees.
Classrooms once so familiar became as alien as Mars. My teachers’ monotone lectures jarred my ears. The lessons they taught flew over my head. I never answered any of the questions asked, even if I knew the answers. I had reached a new emotional low I hadn’t known I was capable of.
The crazy part was hanging out with Riya. Her peppy, bouncy, mental–roller-coaster state grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Like she was trying too hard to be happy around me. I couldn’t keep up.
Everything stayed sickeningly normal. The sun shone. Birds flew across the ever-blue sky. Friends greeted each other. I should have been happy to be free of the responsibility of keeping all of humanity alive. But I wasn’t. Everything may be the same all around me, but I wasn’t the same guy anymore. I had fallen in love with a vampire currently living beneath my feet. A prince who put his duty for his people above me.
By the next week, I felt more in control of my senses. Well, controlled enough to want to sneak back into the colony again. I wanted to return to a place that could potentially kill me because I needed to see Troyan, to make sure he was still alive. I’d make him see that there were other ways he could serve his people. Ways that involved having me in his life.
The first time I tried, I stayed late in the library with the thought of climbing the secret steps leading to the Chem lab. It was a simple enough plan that had worked before. I hid in my secluded corner, sitting on the floor with my e-reader. When the last bell tolled, Kiev materialized in front of me. Silently, he walked me to the parking lot and drove me back to the dorms.
For my second attempt, I snuck into the solarium to wait, no matter how heartbreaking it felt to be among the greenery encased in glass. But I stayed anyway. Unfortunately Kiev found me five minutes before curfew. His brow knotted together in annoyance, but like my previous attempt, he had said nothing.
A week passed before I tried a third time. I had cut my
last class and headed for the edge of the garden, constantly checking if anyone followed me. The bell clanged six times. I anxiously waited, peeking from the side of the large pine I hid behind. No headmaster.
I let another thirty minutes pass before leaving my hiding place and heading for the tower. I fiddled around with the number pad, but soon gave up since I obviously needed a key card to activate it.
I decided to roam around until I bumped into anyone who could bring me to the palace. That was, if I convinced them not to eat me.
My heart beat in my throat. The campus stayed eerily quiet. My boots on marble sounded too loud for comfort. Empty hallways. Deserted classrooms. Maybe the Inshari were still on their way? I sighed.
An hour passed, then two. I walked around like a lost puppy.
My resolve wavered. I couldn’t find anyone. Not a soul. I realized I’d completely forgotten to check one place. So, with renewed energy, I took the stairs to the second floor two at a time. When I reached the Chem lab, I had a stitch in my side. I doubled over to catch my breath. One breath. Two breaths. Three. I straightened and entered the room. Clean tables greeted me. No beakers. No test tubes. No microscopes. No nothing.
My knees gave way beneath me, and I fell to the floor. Something told me no matter how hard I tried I would never see the colony again.
My insides sank. Then large hands closed around my arms and pulled me to my feet. I looked up.
“Kiev?” I said in a desolate whisper.
“Enough, Camron,” he said.
“They’re not here.” My eyes filled with tears. “He’s not here.”
Kiev pulled me out of the Chem lab and kept his hold on me until we reached the entrance where his car was parked. Funny thing, I didn’t struggle. I couldn’t feel my legs even if I wanted to struggle. I let him take me away. I stayed mute during the drive, staring at the dark night outside the car window. Like they’d never existed, the Inshari were gone.
I wiped away a stray tear.
When we arrived at the dorms, Kiev asked, “Should I expect more attempts from you?”
I leaned back into the seat and shut my eyes. I shook my head. The emptiness of the campus was heartbreaking. I couldn’t stand another night with no one there.