by Fanny Finch
Eleanor felt a nudge at her side in that moment, and she looked up to her brother who had his face set in hard lines.
“Do not listen to them, Eleanor. I know you are. Ignore them, it is unhealthy. I refuse to let anyone ruin this night for you.”
“Oh, Edwin. I am absolutely fine, I assure you. I have heard worse.”
Oh, but she wasn’t fine. Her legs were shaking and it was a struggle, trying to make certain that her steps did not falter, and that she continued to walk gracefully.
They soon stepped into the ball room and, as they descended the stairs, heads turned. As those who knew her in the crowd recognized her, a hush fell.
It lasted for mere seconds, before the murmuring began again. This time, Eleanor took Edwin’s advice and paid them no attention.
“They can’t get over how beautiful you look in that yellow dress, dear sister,” he whispered into her ear.
She looked up at him, her eyes threatening to brim with tears. “You are perfect, you know that? I do not know what I did to deserve you.”
They finally took the last step, and joined everyone else in the ball room. Edwin looked up, forcing her to do the same. Then, again, he whispered.
“Look who’s headed this way… Prince Charming, himself.”
Eleanor scoffed as she shook her head at him. “He’s no prince.”
“Oh, but he is determined. And I believe it makes no difference to you if he were a prince, a duke, or a commoner. The man already has your attention.”
Her cheeks grew warm and she knew that she was flushed crimson. “Edwin! He’s just a friend. I am not even certain I can call him that yet.”
“And I am your brother. I know that look in your eyes. Also, because I am a man, I know that look in his.”
His face instantly transformed and exhibited a bright smile as a presence came to loom in front of them.
Unable to help herself either, Eleanor found herself smiling up at the man who was the subject of their discussion. Tonight, he had chosen the color blue for his clothes and it flattered him immensely.
Greetings ensued. As soon as every formality had been observed, Edwin handed her over to Charles.
“Take care of her. I shall keep my eyes on you, all night. Do not forget.”
Despite herself, Eleanor chuckled as her brother walked away. Her fierce love for him drowned out the mortification she would have felt.
“You must forgive him. He can be quite overprotective at times.”
Charles smiled as he took her hand and hooked it around his arm. They began to walk to God knows where. She let him lead the way.
“Believe me, my lady, no offence was taken at all. I have a younger sister too, remember? I used to be like a mother hen back in those days.
“Even the friend I had known all my life to be noble and true, I did not reckon him good enough for her,” Charles went on.
“Thomas is the best man I could have ever given her to. Even then, I knew this without a doubt. But it is just the way it is,” he added before he continued.
“When you love someone as fiercely as an elder brother loves and cares for his younger sister, no one will ever be good enough for her.”
He loved his family. Eleanor was aware of this by now. And she admired him all the more for it.
“I like him, the Viscount of Humshire,” Charles stated. “Many times, it is easy to tell a good man when you see him. Edwin, he is a great man.”
It warmed her heart to know that he held her brother in such high regard. “I assure you, Your Grace. He thinks of you in the same manner.”
“Then I am flattered.”
They finally came to a stop at a table, and right there, was the Dowager Duchess, sitting prettily in her beautiful soft grey dress, the warmest of smiles on her face.
As Eleanor prepared to curtsy, the Dowager Duchess rose and stopped her. “Oh no, dear. Pshaw! I have told you. We must forgo such formalities where family and friends are concerned.”
She smiled. “How are you, dear child? I must confess, it is such a delight to see you once more. I do hope you have been well?”
“Yes, Your Grace. I have been very well, thank you. I share your delight in meeting once again, my lady. I hope you have been well too?”
“As well as a woman my age can be. I must say, dear, you look extremely lovely in that dress. It compliments your eyes and makes you radiate like the sun.”
She leaned in to whisper conspiratorially. “See how you made heads turn upon your descent? Even I wondered who the damsel was, before I recognised you. Beautiful, truly beautiful! You may as well be crowned the belle of the ball.”
Even her fan could not shield Eleanor’s face in that moment. She felt hot all over, and suspected that her entire face had gone red.
“From you, those words are the highest of praises, Your Grace. I had just begun to grow green with envy, at how gorgeous you look in gray. I hope the years remain kind to me, as they have remained to you.”
The Dowager Duchess chuckled happily and turned to look at her son. “She is so brilliant! Such wit, beauty, and grace. What a delight.”
Charles responded to his mother, but his gaze did not leave Eleanor as he spoke.
“I agree, Mother. With every word you have said. Lady Grenshire is a phenomenal woman indeed.”
The butterflies she had been trying to keep at bay, broke free and took flight, making her stomach feel squirmy but in a very good way.
Before she could think of something else to say, the time for the first dance arrived.
Charles was quick to hold out his hand. “My lady, would you do me the honor of this dance?”
She shrugged. “Well, seeing as you are my escort, I believe it is only customary.”
His eyes twinkled as he asked again, “And if I choose to have you to myself for all the dances tonight?”
She smiled harder. “Then I shall have no problem filling up my dance card with your name, and turning other gentlemen away.”
“Ah, I see. You tempt me to be selfish, my lady. A glorious offer, if I have ever seen one.”
She matched his banter. “A good thing it is yours for the taking, if you so wish to. Unless of course, you are afraid of the wrath the other gentlemen may choose to bestow upon you.”
His grin was full-fledged and his next words made her heart skip three beats.
“For you, my lady, I would happily battle the three-headed dragon. All the more, these earthlings.”
It was a line from one of her favorite books, Conqueror and Conquered, by the English author Richard Blake.
“And if the dragon wins the battle?” she asked, continuing the scene from the book.
“Then I shall die a noble and happy death, knowing that I have engraved my name in my lady’s heart, and my memory in her mind. In that, I would have won the war.”
“Silly that you think your lady shall know happiness without you. I would rather you forgot every notion of heroism.”
Playing out a scene, had made Eleanor bolder. “Remain a coward if you must, if that would keep you by my side for eternity. For I fear my heart will die with you, and my body shall not tarry to join you.”
“Your wish is my command, my lady. Anything that pleases you, I shall be.”
“Bless the gods, for I asked for a man kind and true, but they gave me even more - a man who loves me beyond himself.”
That was the parting line of that scene and as she said it, they ended up chuckling. He took her hand. Then, he turned to the Dowager Duchess who had been watching with such joy written all over her face.
“We shall be back, Mother.”
“Oh, I pray thee, take your time, dear ones.” She waved them off, and they turned to join the others who had taken position on the dance floor.
Nothing was said between them until they began to waltz to the music.
“Conqueror and Conquered is one of the best literary works I have ever read,” he began, breaking the silence spell.
; “I agree. I have read it over a hundred times, and I still have not tired of it.”
“You amaze me by the second, my lady.”
“As you amaze me, my lord.”
Silence reigned again and as they continued to waltz around the dance floor, Eleanor was aware of the attention they had drawn to themselves.
Eyes remained upon them, some lips turned up in smirks and, occasionally, she caught some mumbling.
It bothered her, if she would tell the truth. It bothered her a great deal. She wondered what they were telling about her.
Mayhap, they were recalling all the rumors. The one that said everyone who got close to her, left her in some way.
The rumors that implied she had killed her mother, and had tried to take her step-sister’s betrothed.
The rumors that said her dearest late husband had met with his death in a bid to run away from her.
She looked up at the man she was dancing with and fear began to creep up her veins. He had a smile on his face. He looked pleased to be there, in that moment with her.
Would he feel the same way if he heard all of those vicious words? Would he still look at her in the same light? Or would he see her differently?
Would he give her the benefit of the doubt? Or at least, a chance to explain herself?
These thoughts plagued her mind, distracting her so much that many times she found herself missing her steps, and climbing his foot instead.
Her mortification grew, but every time she apologized, he brushed it away and assured her it was nothing. His smile never faltered, and the kindness never left his eyes. He was genuine, that much she could see.
Slowly, yet surely, her resolve continued to weaken and this man’s place in her heart was further and further secured.
Chapter 18
As the dance came to an end, Eleanor heaved a visible sigh of relief and Charles felt his chest tighten.
She had been someone else just before the dance had started and suddenly, she had transformed into someone entirely different.
He knew the moment her heart had left the dance. It was when she had noticed that they were drawing attention and many had not bothered to hide the fact that they were staring and speaking of them.
He knew the reason why they had become a topic of discussion. He was a widower, and she was a widow. While the details of her husband's death were not hidden, he could not say the same about his life’s details.
Till now, no one knew what had really happened with Elise. All they knew was that she had died during childbirth, and before then, he had put her away. For what crime, they did not know.
The question still remained unanswered and what people could not find answers to, they often remained curious about.
It was a secret he would take to his grave. He had no doubt that the only other three people alive who knew the truth, would take it to their graves too.
He was certain that Eleanor had been affected by the attention they had gotten. He wondered if she was already regretting her decision to dance with him. If she was regretting her decision to even have him as her escort.
Truly, he felt awful. He had invited her to this ball, had requested that she come. And now, he was making her uncomfortable with the untoward attention he was gaining for them.
He bowed as she curtsied and as they both rose, he tried to apologize.
Only, she cut him off before he could say anything.
“Pardon me, Your Grace. But I do believe I have grown weary of this ball room. Would you like to step out for some fresh air?"
She did not sound the least bit cross with him, and that gave him hope. Eagerly, he responded.
“Of course. The balcony is only a few steps away. We may choose to remain there, or take a walk in the garden.”
“I do believe I would like the walk better.”
He gave her his arm, once again. And as soon as she linked hers around it, he led the way.
Nothing was said until they were both in the garden, taking in the cool, fresh night air as they walked. It was Eleanor who spoke first.
“Once again, I must apologize for the assault I made on your feet as we danced. I do not know what happened, I was simply somewhat distracted for a while…”
She paused and he watched as she struggled with her next words. Finally, she spoke. “Actually, that is not honest. I do know what happened.”
She needed a moment before she continued. “As you know, I am a widow. And my husband died three years ago. I have not participated in any season since then.
“Before I left London after news of his death came, some people had begun to say terrible things about me,” she explained.
“That is the reason why I continued to stay away, even after the mourning ended. Being back here, it brings memories. And I cannot help but wonder if they still see me in that light.”
Charles listened quietly as she spoke. All the while, he pondered inside of him, how wrong he had been.
Apparently, Eleanor had assumed that she was the reason for the attention, and that had distracted her.
Of course, she could be right, but he knew he also had to share that he, too, could be a reason. In truth, now that he had heard her out, he suspected that was all the more reason people had been looking at them.
They made an unlikely alliance, if he had ever seen one. Their friendship was only certain to cause brows to be raised. Especially in such a society as this.
Beyond that, he was thrilled that she had chosen to share this piece of herself with him.
It meant that even though it was in the smallest of measures, she trusted him. He hoped to never betray that trust. There was still a lot about Lady Grenshire that remained a mystery.
All in due time, he would come to know. He only hoped that she would oblige him enough, to satisfy his curiosity. He still had questions, a lot of them.
Like what terrible things they had said about a poor widow who could not have caused the storm that brought the ship her beloved husband had been on, to a wreck.
“I do understand you, my lady. In all honesty, I too had thought to apologize. You see, you are not the only one who has received the backlash of the society’s roaming eyes and evil tongue.”
He was aware she glanced at him in curiosity.
“All the while as we danced, I mistook your distraction for irritation. I assumed that I was the one bringing us the untoward glances, and you did not appreciate it one bit.”
He sighed. “Now that you have spoken, I do believe it was seeing the both of us together that made them unable to resist staring so unabashedly.”
She looked up at him, awe written all over her face. “You thought you had some blame in all of this?”
“I assumed it my fault, yes.”
She smiled then. It was a sad smile and it caused his chest to tighten. He truly wished he could take her pain away.
He sighted a stone bench some steps away and when they got to it, he said, “Would you like to have a seat? We have been walking for a while now.”
She nodded gratefully and they both settled onto the bench. It was not comfortable, but it would do perfectly well for resting.
“You have told me why you thought the blame was yours, now I have to tell why I thought it was mine.”
She peered into his eyes, proving that she held interest in whatever it was he had to say.
The whole truth came flooding back to him, waves and tides of memories of those ugly days that had seemed they would last forever.
They were alone in this open space, only the insects of the soil and the flowers would hear them. Did he trust her enough to confide in her? Would the secret still remain safe?
Should I tell her?
Common sense won, and he decided against it. Mayhap, someday, he would have to tell Eleanor the entire truth.
However, for now, he wished not to burden her with such heaviness. So, he simply settled for the version everyone knew, knowing that it would raise questions in her mind.
/> They were questions he hoped to be able to answer in good time, for he wanted to continue this budding friendship with this woman.
“As you also know, Eleanor, I too lost my wife. It has been three years, and she died in childbirth. However, before that, we were… estranged.”
He did not elaborate further on his choice of word. “The reason for that is one I have refused to share. Only my family knows of it. People have remained curious.”