by Fanny Finch
It was why he vowed to himself to make the most of it. To make her the happiest she could be. To love her, to cherish her.
He never wanted to regret this choice - him, this chance, them. It was the last ball of the season. They were in a room full of people, but she was the only one he saw. The only one who held his attention.
They were in a circle filled with people he loved. Yet, she was the only one who drew him in, like a moth to a flame.
He watched, proud of how right she looked by his side, how beautiful she was tonight, in that dress - blue as the sea.
The dress she had chosen for him. It was the perfect color of his eyes. He knew this was no coincidence. He had been rendered unable to breathe when he saw her walk down those stairs in her home.
She had descended, looking like a heavenly body. Goddess and angel, one and the same. She looked so beautiful… so beautiful that that word seemed insufficient to describe just how gorgeous she truly looked.
Her long, dark hair sat atop her head in a neat bun, decorated by one of the daisies he had gifted her. The dress, her silvery gloves, the daisy, all was perfect, and they brought out the color in her eyes.
Even as she laughed and talked with his family, and her family, he knew she was attuned to him, as he was to her. He was beginning to realize that they shared a connection. One that was powerful.
Every time he thought that he would have missed out on this joy, this peace… he nearly shuddered in fear.
His eyes strayed to his sister and his best friend. He was grateful to them, and for them.
And to his mother, who had finally announced her engagement to Gaius, he was also grateful.
The woman had never spoken a word to him. He knew she never would, but Eleanor had told him what the Dowager Duchess had done. Eleanor had been surprised that he had not known of it.
Despite his shortcomings, his mother had fought for him. All of them, had given him this chance. He was lucky, but beyond lucky, he was blessed.
He felt a nudge by his side, and looked down into the eyes he would never tire of staring at, forever.
“Is anything the matter?” Her concern was genuine and it warmed his heart.
“The world has never felt so right, Eleanor. All is well, all is perfect.”
She smiled up at him, and he smiled in return. Then, he returned to the conversation everyone was having.
“You have finally set a date for the wedding, you say?” Rachel asked their mother.
“Yes. We are both old and do not fancy big ceremonies. We want something simple and quiet. With just very close family and friends. All of you here, and what is left of Gaius’s family.”
She leaned into the man she loved and Charles watched as Gaius’ arm moved to receive hers in its crook. Anyone who had eyes could see how in love they were with each other. Their happiness radiated from within.
It was the same way Rachel and Thomas were, Edwin and Frances too. He knew that they all saw the same when they looked at Eleanor and him. He hoped that they did.
“That would be my younger sisters and their family. My nieces, nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews would be in attendance too,” Gaius informed.
“I estimate a number of thirty people at most - plus the staff,” the Dowager Duchess added.
“That is just perfect,” Charles finally spoke. “So, when is this date you have chosen?”
“Two fortnights from now,” his mother responded.
“Sounds like it would be enough time to put a ceremony together for that number of people.”
“Yes, it is,” Gaius agreed.
Everyone else at the table nodded, expressing their agreement too. Charles turned to face Edwin and Frances.
“Eleanor tells me yours is in two months’ time?”
It was Edwin who replied. “Indeed. I wish it could be tomorrow. But I am a viscount, and I owe it to my people to give them adequate notice and to hold a nice ceremony. That shall take a while to put together, if all must go well.
“I shall also have to see to other matters upon my return. Left to me, I would march to the cathedral right this moment with my Frances and take my vows. I can hardly wait.”
“Oh, darling, me neither. Thank the Lord, we will not have to wait for much longer. Time shall pass by in a blur once the activities begin in earnest,” Frances assured.
“Amen to that.”
Charles chuckled as he drew his attention from them to the woman by his side. If those two were lost to each other, then he could do the same.
As if on cue, the band began to set up to play.
“May I have this dance, my lady?”
“Always, Your Grace.”
They took their leave from the table as other couples did the same, and hand in hand, he led her to the dance floor.
He held her in his arms as they danced, and he cherished every single moment.
The first song had just ended when someone walked up to them. It was none other than Peter Manson.
Charles stopped dancing as he saw him. He encountered a great difficulty to keep his envy in check.
Eleanor stepped away and looked up at him to ask why he had stopped. It was then she saw him.
“Peter! You have returned,” Eleanor chimed.
“Yes, my lady. For some days now.”
“Some days? How come you did not write to me? You did not even think to call on me? Never mind all of that. How is your niece? Hope she fares well?”
“Very well, my lady. I made certain she was out of the woods before I returned.”
There was a pause and Charles’ irritation grew when the man looked at him.
He was aware they were drawing attention. The worst part of it all was that this man seemed to be ignoring his presence.
“You must forgive me for not calling upon you, my lady. I thought it best not to impose my presence upon you. Especially after the news of your courtship got to me.
“You belong to another man now. I cannot dare to act freely around you as I have in the past.”
Manson sounded sad. Charles saw that Eleanor believed him but Charles saw through the man’s facade. This man had always made him feel uneasy.
You are just jealous, a voice whispered in his head. Yes? I am allowed to be.
“Nonsense, Peter. That should not hinder our friendship. You have been a good friend to me.”
“You have been the gracious one, my lady. You honored a lowly man like me with your companionship. I shall never forget that kindness.”
“You are a fine man in your right, and you know I do not see status. I see the heart. Nevertheless, I shall let it go. Seeing as you deemed it fit to walk up to me.”
“Yes, my lady. I have come to offer my congratulations.”
Charles cleared his throat then, unable to hold his peace any longer.
Eleanor looked at him. As their gazes clashed, he saw understanding dawn in hers.
“Of course, pardon my manners,” she said quickly. “Thank you, Peter. We really appreciate it. I have just realized that I have not done a formal introduction.
“Peter, this is His Grace, the Duke of Finchester, Charles Duncan. Charles, my dear friend whom you know of already, Mr. Peter Manson.”
The man reached out a hand and Charles took it, howbeit stiffly.
“You are a lucky man, Your Grace.”
“Blessed, is more like it,” Charles answered, his voice gruff. Eleanor gave him a look but he ignored it, slightly ashamed.
He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit that he felt so jealous over such a very apparent, harmless friendship.
But she had wanted to marry the man.
“I could not agree more. I hope you would not find it too bold of me if I requested for a dance with the lady? Just this last dance, for I know I shall never see her again after tonight.”
“Oh Peter, do not be do theatrical! There shall be a next season, and I am not leaving immediately after the ball.”
“One last dan
ce then, until next season. I hope that, even then, your husband shall grant me the privilege.”
Peter’s eyes were on Charles, but Charles’s eyes were on Eleanor. And when she eyed him, before dissolving into a blush, his heart calmed.
“I suppose one dance shall do no harm,” he heard himself say.
Manson lit up, and Eleanor looked at Charles with gratitude. Those eyes were everything and they assured him that he had made the right decision.
He watched as the man whisked his Eleanor away, trying hard not to follow them and yank her arm off his. Finally, he made the decision to look away, turn around and go back to their table.
Only, as he spun, he crashed into a certain redhead.
“Goodness! Clumsy me. I apologize. I simply never look where I’m going,” she apologized in a hurry.
Amused by the little incident, he stared down at her, until she overcame her mortification enough to look up.
His smile widened when he saw her eyes bulge in surprise.
“It’s you?”
“Hello, Alexandra.”
“Your Grace! I had no idea,” she fumbled as she dropped a shallow curtsy.
“Please, I beg of thee. That is not necessary. I never pegged you for a clumsy one. I do believe I have never seen you be clumsy at anything.”
His hand shot to her back and he took her out of the way, just in time to avoid being crashed into by a dancing couple. The movement brought them into close proximity and breaths held as gazes did.
She was still beautiful, she always would be, but she was not his Eleanor. He was the first to pull away.
“Goodness. You see? I can be clumsy sometimes. Especially when I am not paying attention to my surroundings at all.”
He realized then, that his hand was still at her back. He retrieved it, and folded both hands behind himself.
“Perhaps we should leave the dance floor,” he suggested as he saw another couple coming their way.
“Mayhap… we could have a dance? For old times’ sake.”
Her request gave him a pause. Why not? They were friends and it was in the open. If Eleanor could share a dance with Manson, he could too.
“Of course. If only you agree to tell me all the news you have gathered lately.”
She gave into a laughter that he had once thought adorable. “Of course, Your Grace. Of course.”
It was settled. Together, they started dancing.
They waltzed around the ballroom and once or twice, they passed Manson and Eleanor, dancing happily and involved in a discussion.
Charles tried not to let Manson bother him. Although, he hardly paid attention to Alexandra’s words.
Finally, the dance came to an end, and he was more than happy to return to Eleanor’s side.
As he bowed and rose, Alexandra spoke again.
“I have not enjoyed waltzing like that in a while. You still have good feet, Your Grace.”
He smiled at her compliment. “I am not a man of many talents. I try to keep up with the ones I do have.” His eyes left her to search the ballroom again.
“I beg to differ, Your Grace.”
He looked back to reply and take his leave. He could not see Eleanor anywhere. He needed to search for her properly. Perhaps she had returned to their table.
Alas, before he could speak, Alexandra’s eyes closed, and right before his eyes, he watched her crumble to the floor.
Chapter 36
Charles
Once again, he was quick to catch her. As his arms went around her, he shook her.
“Alexandra, Alexandra…”
Relief flooded through him when he saw her eyes flutter open.
“Your Grace, what happened?”
“You had a fainting spell.”
“A spell? Oh, I must have run out of breath again. It’s beginning to happen rather too often.”
“Can you stand?”
She rose on her two feet then. He used the moment to look around and he was grateful no one seemed to have caught the little incident.
“I do believe I can.”
“Good. Let us step out to the balcony. If it was loss of breath that affected you, then fresh air would do you some good. The Lord knows this room is too crowded.”
She said nothing, simply nodded. He supposed she was not fully herself, yet. He kept his arms around her as he led her away.
First, the clumsiness, and now a fainting spell?
She had said it happened often. He had never known her to suffer from any of those in the past, or even since the time of her return, that period when they grew closer. Just how much about Alexandra had changed?
As they reached the balcony, he held still while she took in gulps of air. Thoughts of finding Eleanor had been forgotten. He simply wanted the woman in his arms to be fine.
It was a while later that she spoke, breaking the silence.
“I do feel much better now, thank you, Your Grace.”
“Are you certain?”
“I am. If you had not been there to catch me, it would have caused an embarrassing scene. These people already have enough to say about me. I do not wish to give them more.”
Her voice sounded sorrowful. That sorrow was etched into her eyes. His heart went out to her.
“What do they say?”
She gave a dry laugh. “Oh, what everyone knows. That I peddle favors for money. And I was with many men before I left England. More so, during my stay overseas.”
“Were you?”
“You of all people should know the answer to that, Your Grace.”
“I never knew it bothered you this much,” he said quietly.
She had always appeared to be carefree about what anyone had to say about her. She always seemed to own whatever name they called her, and she never bowed her head when she found herself in the midst of the ton.
She shrugged. “One’s skin can only grow so thick. Those words are bound to pierce through at some point.
“The ton, they think themselves better than everyone else. Older women despise me, younger women do not want to be me, women of my age turn their noses up at me. I am considered a stain in the society.”
She heaved a deep sigh. “They seem to forget that I was not born as privileged as they were. I did all I did to survive.”
He knew this. He also knew her sad story.
Her father was never known. Her mother had died at childbirth. She had had to fight her way up. He did not agree with the path she had chosen, but who was he to blame her?
Many would not have made better choices, in his opinion.
“It was why I left. It is why I will be leaving again. There, there are no judgments, only freedom. I have made my decision. I leave in two days.”
“Two days?” This came as a surprise.
“Yes. I thought England would be different, I reckoned things would have changed, but I was wrong. These people are not good to me. I must go where I am loved. In Europe, I’m worshiped as a goddess.”
The way her eyes lit up as she said those words made him smile. “I am certain.”
She eventually held his gaze. “Walk with me, Your Grace? I find myself in a mood to stretch my legs. And you offer great company. When I leave in two days’ time, I may never return. I shall never bother you again.”
“You never did bother me, Alexandra.”
“Then walk with me.”
How could he refuse?
They got off the balcony and began to walk in comfortable silence. He let her take the lead, and was glad that he was able to do this little deed for her when he saw her shoulders relax and her troubles float away.
She continued to lead him until they rounded a corner.
That was when he realized they had strayed a little distance away from the house. Although other couples walked around, it would do him no good to be found in such a place with Alexandra.
Deciding that they had wandered enough, he opened his mouth to ask that they returned.
The words never l
eft his lips, for when he saw her looking as though she had seen death, he followed her gaze.
He grew deathly pale. Only a few yards from them, there was Manson and Eleanor. There was barely a foot of distance between them, and he had his hands affectionately on her cheeks.