“I’ll call you,” he said.
“Don’t bother.”
“You’re the one who wanted an affair.”
“I know. But I didn’t want it to feel like a one-night stand.”
He pivoted to face her. He could tell she was trying to put on her office face, cool and calm, but instead she was wary. Watching him as if he were a dangerous animal. Hell, he felt dangerous and out of control. God, he needed something to numb him to this feeling.
“This isn’t a one-night stand.”
“You’re right. It feels more like a quickie.”
“Don’t push me, woman. I’m trying to do what you asked.”
“When did I ask for you to make me feel as if I’d just discovered fire and then to walk away?”
He dropped his jacket and moved toward her, then caged her face in his hands and tilted her head back so that she was defenseless to him. Bending his head, he took her mouth in a ruthless kiss. He expected her to be passive or rebuff him, but instead her hands grabbed his head and she gave him back the same kiss.
Damn, she was his equal on too many levels. He pulled back. Her mouth was full, lips wet and glistening from his kiss. His erection throbbed against his inseam and he knew that he wasn’t in for a comfortable night. But comfort had walked out the door the day he’d met Corrine Martin.
“Next time we’ll take all night,” he said.
“Maybe there won’t be a next time.”
“Dammit, Corrine.”
“Yes, dammit, Rand. I didn’t sign up to be your plaything.”
“But you expected me to be yours?”
“I didn’t hear you objecting,” she said.
“Show me a man who’d object when he has a willing woman on his lap.”
She flushed. He knew he’d gone too far, but he was feeling trapped and his instincts always said to come out fighting.
“Goodbye, Rand,” she said.
He grabbed his stuff and walked out the door. He heard it close quietly behind him.
Corrine knew a brush-off when she got one. She hoped she’d come out the winner of her last confrontation with Rand, but she knew deep inside there had been no winner. Just two losers.
Which was why she’d never let herself become involved with men she had to work with. Sure, there had been that incredible heat between them, but now all she could do was regret it. And she hated regrets because they were a useless waste of energy.
She’d been unable to sleep after he left so she’d spent the night doing new projections for the coming quarter. She worked through the rest of the weekend, telling herself that it didn’t matter that he hadn’t called. She didn’t want to talk to him again.
But inside she felt the same way she had when she’d been six and Mrs. Tanner had told her she’d been found in a trash can. And that no one wanted her. Even though she’d said she only wanted an affair, she’d expected—okay, hoped for—more from Rand.
That was in the past. Today was Monday and she was ready for a busy week, dressed to the nines in a severe black Donna Karan suit that she’d purchased when she’d first been promoted. She loved the suit. It made her feel invincible.
She walked into Tarron and wanted to groan inside. Rand was standing in the lobby chatting with one of the security guards. She walked straight past him, not even glancing in his direction. Keep breathing, she reminded herself as she waited for the elevator doors to close.
They started to shut and she let her guard start to drop, but then a large, masculine hand blocked them and Rand stepped inside. He hit the button for her floor and then the button to close the doors.
“Good morning, Corrine,” he said.
She nodded at him. Not really wanting to start an inane conversation that would mask what she really wanted to say, which was something mean and sarcastic. But she wasn’t going to let him see how deeply he’d wounded her.
“Not talking to me today?” he asked, moving closer to her in the elevator.
“That would be childish,” she said.
Her gut told her to step away from him, but she refused to give even the appearance of backing down. So she stood her ground, even though now she could see that he didn’t look as well put together as he usually did. His tie was knotted perfectly, his suit neat and clean, but there was something different about him today.
“And neither of us are children,” he said, facing her.
“What do you want from me?” she asked. She knew it was abrupt, but she didn’t really know how to play games with men. She knew how to keep them at bay with an icy glare or a few well-phrased barbs, but shoving a man back outside her inner wall after she’d let him in…that was one thing she’d never attempted before.
He sighed. “A few minutes of your time.”
“Why?” she asked, realizing he looked different today because of his eyes. He seemed tired. No, more like exhausted. She linked her fingers together to keep from reaching out and soothing the tension she could read in his face.
“I don’t like this awkwardness between us,” he said. This was more than she’d anticipated. There was a genuineness to him that she hadn’t expected.
“Me, neither. I mean, we have to continue working together on the training project. And Paul would notice if I never claimed my other two dates.”
“I wasn’t talking about our business relationship.”
“That’s the only one we have, Rand.” An affair was all she’d wanted. But after making love with Rand one time she’d realized an affair would never be enough. That she wanted more from him than she’d ever be comfortable asking him for. Because if she did ask him to stay she’d have to open all of her vulnerabilities to him. And she’d learned an important lesson the other night: Rand Pearson wasn’t a man she wanted to know her weaknesses.
“I disagree.”
She swallowed, unsure what to say to him. She was swamped with emotions that eroded her confidence and made her feel inadequate, and she was a grown woman for God’s sake. She wasn’t going to let him make her feel that.
“Please, Cori. Just give me a chance to explain.”
“Why should I?”
“I haven’t slept since I left your place. I can’t close my eyes without seeing you.”
Why did he have to say things like that? He made her believe that maybe her instincts had been correct when she’d decided to make love with him.
“I asked Adam to give me fifteen minutes alone with you this morning.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I thought the office would be the best place for us to talk.”
She nodded. It would be a safe place. Neither of them would ever do anything to jeopardize their professional images.
Silence descended and then the doors opened on her floor. Adam, her assistant, was sitting behind his desk. “Hello, Adam. Any schedule changes for today?”
“Just Mr. Pearson. I left you a voice mail with all your updates.”
“Thank you, Adam.”
“Will you be with Mr. Pearson all morning?” Adam asked.
“No. Just fifteen minutes.”
“I might need longer. I don’t like to rush,” Rand said.
She remembered the fierce look in his eyes when he’d left on Saturday night. For her own sake, she needed to get him in and out of her office as quickly as possible. But if she treated him any differently than she normally did she’d subject herself to gossip. And she didn’t want to let that happen.
“I don’t want to keep you,” she said.
“I won’t let you,” he said.
She stepped into her office. Rand followed her. He smelled good—better than a man who’d left her should smell. She knew better than to let things go further between them. But her heart sometimes didn’t listen to her mind. And this was one of those times.
Rand had no real plan in mind when he’d followed Corrine into her office. He only knew things couldn’t continue the way they had been. He’d spent last night in a dark place he hadn’t visi
ted since his brother Charles’s death so long ago.
A sealed bottle of Cutty Sark had been his only companion there. He hadn’t broken the seal even though his hands had sweated and he’d reached for the bottle too many times to count.
Something had to be resolved with Corrine. And it had to be done today. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could battle his need for a drink and his need for Corrine. He needed some kind of semblance of normalcy in his life.
He glanced around her office. He’d been in here twice before and he’d never noticed how cold it was. Only seeing her home had given him a glimpse of the real woman behind her corporate suits. And now he realized how well she hid herself. He knew the price for doing just that, because for years he’d been doing the same thing.
“What did you want to discuss?” she asked, seating herself behind her desk.
Her hands were primly folded on the surface, and he realized she was treating him the same way she treated all the other men she interacted with. She tucked a strand of hair back into the bun at her nape and then straightened her blotter.
“I’m not going to let you do it,” he said, walking around her desk and propping one hip against the side.
“Do what?” she asked, tilting her head to meet his gaze.
Though he was in the dominant position, he felt the way he always did around her, that she held the power. Maybe that was part of what drew him to her. He only knew that he’d been raised to win, and whatever it took, he’d find a way to manage Corrine Martin. “Relegate me back to the role of stranger.”
She shrugged and looked away. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’d never do that.”
“And I wouldn’t let you. We’ve been too much to each other.”
“Too much?” she asked, her voice a husky whisper.
“Lovers,” he said, brushing his finger down the side of her face. She had the softest damned skin he’d ever touched. Whenever she was near him he wanted—no, needed—to touch her. His fingers actually tingled with the urge to feel her.
Her pupils dilated and he knew she was remembering their one time together. It wasn’t enough. Would a million times be enough to get his fill of her? Would becoming so familiar with her lithe body appease the hunger that ran deep in his veins? He doubted it.
Nothing short of her complete surrender would satisfy him. And he knew damn well that wasn’t in either of their best interests.
He had to touch her. Grabbing the arms of her chair, he swung it toward him. Sliding his legs along the side of the chair, he caged her.
She looked up at him, awareness in her eyes. A flush of arousal faintly tinted her cheeks. No longer was he a man to be kept at a safe distance.
“I thought I knew what I wanted from you, Rand. But I was wrong.”
“What do you want?” he asked, knowing on one level they both had the same objective.
“I’m not sure. I only know that I can’t handle a repeat of the other night.”
Honesty was important now because he was keeping other secrets he’d never share. “Me, neither.”
“I’m not looking for happily ever after,” she said quietly. “Frankly, I’ve seen enough of life to doubt it exists, but there is something about you that makes me want to believe it. And I know that’s a dangerous thing.”
“Why is that a dangerous thing?” he asked, because it was easier than facing the truth that her words struck a chord deep inside of him. They’d both been shaped by a hard life, although he knew she’d never guess that he’d suffered as she had, albeit in a different way.
But how hard was it really? He’d been given every luxury and sent to the finest schools. When had he turned into such a whiner?
“I don’t know. I’ve forced myself not to form attachments, and you’re a playboy, so it should be easier with you than with any other man.”
“I’m not a playboy.”
“Please. You’ve had more women than James Bond.”
“Does that excite you?”
“I don’t know. But the thought of all the experience you have…all the things you’ve done that I haven’t…it makes me feel inadequate.”
“You’re not.”
“Usually I’m confident of myself in any arena, but you’re used to dealing with upper executives and I’m still middle management.”
“Corrine, don’t belittle yourself. None of the women you’ve seen me with hold a candle to you.”
She bit her lip nervously. He knew she wanted to ask more questions, saw it in her eyes, but she didn’t. “What I meant before was that I’m trying to keep you from being more than a temporary affair, but it’s not working. Even when I was saying I wanted something temporary with you, my body was saying ‘no way, girl—this isn’t a temporary thing.’”
Taking her shoulders in both of his hands, he urged her to stand. Pulling her close to his body, he held her. “I wish I could make you promises.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because you can’t have everything.”
Their eyes met and she took a deep breath before she said, “I don’t want everything, Rand…just you.”
Seven
Corrine wasn’t sure when she’d decided to ask for what she wanted in her personal life. It had started when she’d watched Rand drive away on Saturday night. It had grown all day Sunday when she’d realized that hedging her bets hadn’t protected her from feeling washed-up and used. It had solidified when he’d said he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing her.
She knew that she meant more to him than the temporary easing of some sexual ache. He held her closely, carefully. Made her feel like she was the most precious woman in the world. And she’d always dreamed of feeling that way.
Snuggling closer in his arms, she realized this wasn’t the first time he’d held her so. There was a part of Rand that was as unsure as she was in this situation. She felt it in the way he watched her when they were alone.
She slid her arms around his waist under his jacket. Even in the trappings of corporate America he stood out. His suit was by a top designer, his scent totally male and his body rock hard. He wasn’t a man who found his way to the top and was content to stay there. He kept climbing up when most people would be content to stop and enjoy the fruits of their labor.
He ran his hands up and down her spine, and she wished she’d gone to his house yesterday so they could have made love. But she knew this moment couldn’t have come any sooner. It took her a while to puzzle things out in her head, and she knew she needed some reassurance from Rand that he still wanted her.
That reassurance was nudging at her belly. She slid her hands down his back to his buttocks and he groaned deep in his throat. She loved the way he reacted to her touch. She glanced up at him and he smiled ruefully.
“I know I’m at work, but my body doesn’t care.”
“We could…” There was a need deep inside her to cement the tentative bond they’d formed. To make him realize how deeply he needed her. She wasn’t sure that he could ever really want her in any way that wasn’t sexual, but she wanted to probe into their new relationship and find something that proved she wasn’t the only one involved.
He tipped her chin up, brushed a featherlight kiss against her mouth and then all across her face. She leaned up and found his mouth with hers. Tilting her head, she kissed him with all the pent-up longing that flooded her body. His hands on her face changed, supporting her head for the demands he made of her. He thrust his tongue deep inside her mouth, seeking out her secrets. Tasting her so completely that her entire body was sensitized to him.
She reached for his tie, started to loosen it, then unfastened the button underneath. He took her wrists in one hand, bit her lower lip gently and lifted his head.
“We can’t. I’d never be happy with the five minutes we have left here. And neither would you.”
“You’re right,” she said. She wanted to explore him, and she promised herself the next time she had this man naked she was going to find out
all the places he liked to be touched.
“I know.”
“Smart-ass.”
He just grinned at her, and she couldn’t help herself from smiling. He set her back in her chair and walked around her desk. She wished the desk and office made her feel more professional, but for once they didn’t. Even her career goals paled while he sat in her office. All she wanted was him. That thought scared her, shook her to her core. Who was she if she wasn’t an executive?
“I’d like to take you to dinner tonight,” he said.
“Sure,” she said, knowing that they should take the time to get to know each other. Maybe even slow things down. Yeah, right. Who was she kidding? She’d never be satisfied with anything less than a full-out naked affair with this man.
He took his PalmPilot from his pocket and consulted his schedule. “I’m working until eight. How does nine sound?”
She wasn’t sure she could do what Rand did. He worked all day teaching classes in business manners and etiquette and then spent all night at various corporate functions. Being “on” that often wasn’t something she’d ever be comfortable with. “Do you really want to go to a restaurant?”
“No, I want to see you.”
“Why don’t you come to my place and I’ll fix us dinner?”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to eat,” he said.
“I’ll make something that can be reheated.”
“I’ll bring dessert.”
“I was thinking you were dessert,” she said with a grin.
He straightened his tie and then stood, walking toward the door.
“Rand?”
“Yes?”
“Why did you leave the other night?”
He walked back toward her. “I’m used to being in control.”
“So?”
“You make my control disappear, and that’s not a comfortable place to be,” he said.
“You do the same to me.”
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