“Okay,” I said, biting my lip as I watched Cole’s face light up. “Let’s keep going. I know we’ll have to say goodbye soon, but I want to enjoy the time we have left.”
He pulled me close, kissing my ear and then my neck, before finally finding my lips. “Thank fuck,” he said with a grin when we finally broke apart. “You know how to make a guy nervous.”
I laughed, but some unease still lingered. Cole must have noticed, because a wrinkle appeared between his brows. “Is there something else?”
My mind sifted through Abel’s words over and over again, until a terrible suspicion made my stomach twist.
“What are your plans for the band after this album?”
My suspicion was confirmed by how Cole’s face immediately grew pale. He took a step back and asked wearily, “Why?”
“Abel said something to me earlier. He implied you didn’t want to keep going.”
Cole let out a heavy breath. “Most of us do. But Abel wants to break up the band. It was one of his conditions for recording the album.”
The world tilted under my feet, a sense of dread curling inside me like a spring ready to be let loose. “Why on earth would he want that?”
The answer appeared in my mind as soon as the question left my mouth. Because he didn’t think he could write again. He had told me as much.
But he was wrong. We’d written a song together. Did that mean he would change his mind now?
“He doesn’t think there’s a band without Charlie. But hey, don’t worry. We decided we’re going to talk to him about it. We’re going to go camping this weekend and see if we can convince him.”
I sighed in relief. “Good. You can’t break up. This new material is amazing, and I know you have so much more in you to give. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
Cole’s lips curved into a gentle smile. “Adeline, you’ve done so much already. Ezra was ready to walk away until we began to work with you. This weekend, after you left his place, we had a long chat. He finally opened up to me about what he’s been struggling with, and we were able to figure a lot of things out. Plus, we’d be hypocrites if we told you to fight for your band if we weren’t willing to fight for ours.”
It was hard for me to fathom that I had anything to do with helping Bleeding Moonlight move forward, but both Cole and Abel had said as much. I knew Abel wouldn’t lie about it, or say it just to flatter me, no matter how nice he had promised to be. I’d thought I was the one taking things from them in this whole arrangement, from recording the album to this thing with Cole, Ezra and I. Opportunities, experiences, pleasure. But maybe it was time for me to acknowledge I was giving things to them as well.
“You’re becoming somebody to us.”
Abel had said those words to me earlier. Now, I was starting to believe them.
On Thursday, Mason and I sat in his garage waiting for Liam and Elly to arrive for practice.
I was wearing a blue button-up shirt for the sole purpose of covering the hickey on my neck. The past two evenings, after we were done recording, Cole, Ezra, and I had gone back to Ezra’s house where they’d made my body come apart in ways it hadn’t before. I’d never flirted with desire the way I’d done in these last two days. The anticipation of the evening had kept me in a constant state of arousal in the studio. All it took was a hungry look from one of them to make me leak into my panties and squirm in my seat.
“Are you blushing?” Mason asked, twisting and leaning over to look at my face. “You look red.”
I scooted away from him, the leather couch responding with a squeak. “It’s just hot here. You’re radiating heat.”
“Ah, sorry,” he said with a bashful grin. “A cold beer might help?”
As he went inside the house to retrieve it, I cast my gaze around the space as if I hadn’t already committed most of it to memory from all the time we’d spent here. Mason’s gleaming drum kit rested on top of a patterned carpet. The fabric was worn but still retained its color. The wall across from the couch was lined with wide metal shelves containing dozens of meticulously labeled boxes.
Tools, Gift Wrap, Hooks and Door Knobs, Painting Supplies.
I shook my head as he walked back in and handed me a beer. “You’re a freak, you know that, right?”
Mason followed the direction of my gaze and laughed. “What? The boxes? I’m a neat guy. Is that a crime?”
“No, but it might be a precursor to you committing one. You’re nineteen. It’s unnatural.”
He tapped his fingers on the arm of the couch. “Organizing puts my mind at ease. Before I went to work on this place, coming in here was anxiety inducing. Shit piled on top of more shit.”
I snorted. “Sounds like our garage.”
“A mess is not good for the soul. I’m telling ya. Once I fixed this spot up, I started to sleep better.”
“Your future college roommate has no idea how lucky he is.”
“Eh, don’t know about that. I’m gonna be on his ass to keep his part of the apartment clean.”
Mason was going to live on campus for the first year, just like Molly. Unlike me, he’d be able to see her every day if he wanted to.
“How’s Molly doing?” the drummer asked, as if he could read my thoughts. “She ready to move tomorrow?”
“Yeah, she should be wrapping up her packing now.” The thought of seeing her room empty was nauseatingly sad. I clutched my beer harder. “Please drive carefully tomorrow. Keep her safe for me.”
I wasn’t normally afraid of cars or driving, even after the accident, but the anxiety I felt about her leaving had been spreading for days, and I had begun to worry about everything.
Mason patted my knee. “I’ve got her. Nothing’s going to happen.” After a moment, he added, “Well, on the drive, that is.”
I jerked my head to look at him. “What are you scheming?”
Mason wore a devilish smirk. “Not scheming. Just sensing an opportunity.”
At the end of the day, Molly could do a lot worse than Mason. He was a good guy, despite being a neat freak. I didn’t think it would work out between them—they were both too strong willed—but I wasn’t really going to try to stop anything from happening. After all, my sister was a smart girl, and I trusted her to make her own decisions.
A car honked outside the open garage door, and we stopped our conversation to see Liam and Elly get out of Elly’s car.
She was sporting a new buzzcut, while Liam looked a bit worn out—likely still recovering from the recently departed guests. We greeted each other warmly before grabbing the available seats scattered throughout the garage.
“So,” Elly drew out the O, her eyes giddy with excitement. “How’s it been working with Bleeding Moonlight? What dirty secrets of theirs can you spill?”
“Yeah, we haven’t heard nearly enough from you about that,” Mason agreed.
I tried to dismiss their curiosity. “Honestly, it’s a lot of work. We get in at nine and usually leave after seven. But I’m learning a ton from them, so I really can’t complain.”
“Yeah, yeah, obligatory boring stuff.” Elly rolled her eyes. “What are they like?”
I shifted in my seat. How could I describe them without giving away what they had begun to mean to me?
Still, I knew they wouldn’t drop it until I told them something. “They’re surprisingly normal, at least in the studio. It’s a job for them—more glamorous and fun than other jobs, but they don’t mess around.”
“Maybe not when they’re recording,” Mason shrugged. “I’m sure they let loose when they’re on tour.”
“Have they hinted about you working with them beyond the one album?” Elly asked.
“You’re seriously overestimating my abilities if you think they’d do that.”
“You’re being modest.” Elly waved me off. “You’re much better at playing than you are at spreading gossip. Seriously, there’s nothing juicy you can share?”
“Well, Cole’s sister
is engaged to one of the guys from Ritual Disruption,” I offered, hoping this would be enough to satisfy her curiosity.
“Damn! Which one?” Mason asked.
“Not sure, Cole just mentioned it in passing.”
“Interesting. But they’re really just normal? No crazy quirks? No penchant for drama?” Elly pressed.
My mind immediately jumped to Abel, but I wasn’t going to gossip about the complicated lead singer. “All of them are incredibly talented, and they have a really strong bond with each other. They have a high bar for what we’re doing, so that can cause some tempers to rise, but I completely get it. If I were ever recording my own album, I’d want it to be perfect, too.”
“Sounds like you’re really getting along,” Liam said. Did he sound a little tense?
“Getting any ideas for your own songs?” Mason nudged, distracting me from Liam. This was my opening to steer the conversation to the main topic at hand.
“Even if I did, what good are they if I don’t have a band?” I asked, looking at all of them. “I’ve been thinking about Mason leaving and what that means for us. Look, I’m just going to put all my cards on the table with you guys.”
Liam shifted his feet, his expression growing serious as he waited for me to say my part.
“We just had the best show we’ve ever played. And I know that’s not just me being delusional—the guys from Bleeding Moonlight agreed. They loved our performance, our dynamic as a band, and they even thought our original was solid. I know we’re getting older and life is getting busy, but I think we should try to find a way to keep playing together. Mason already told me he’s willing to drive back here to practice every couple of weeks.”
“I don’t know, Ade,” Liam said, crossing his arms. The other two looked to him. As I suspected, at the end of the day the decision would be in Liam’s hands. If I convinced him, the others would get on board. “The show was a good way for us to end things with a bang. We were able to keep to a good practice schedule leading up to it, but that’s just not going to be possible anymore. I think we need to quit while we’re ahead.”
“I hear you,” I said in a conciliatory tone. “And I agree we’d have to work smarter if we keep going. But I really think we have created something special here, and stopping when things get a little tough feels… Well, it feels like giving up.”
I knew I’d said something wrong when Liam’s face darkened. “It’s not about things getting a little tough. It’s about us moving on with our lives. I have a kid on the way, and I’ll readily admit that if I have to choose between practicing with a hobby band and being a dad, it’s going to be the latter, all the way.”
Irritation prickled at me. “Why does it have to be either or? Why can’t it be both? Look, I have a world-class band telling me we have something good here. Doesn’t that assessment count for something? Shouldn’t that give us some confidence that maybe this can be more than a hobby band?”
At this, Liam’s expression became incredulous. “Is that where your head is at now? You want to chase stardom? Ade, c’mon. I know I don’t have time to waste on pipe dreams, and frankly, neither do you. You have a sister to take care of. Bleeding Moonlight are probably just saying that to you because they’re trying to get into your pants.”
Mason and I jumped up from our seats in unison.
I was seething. “When did you become such an asshole? You think the only reason they’d encourage me is because they want to sleep with me?”
Mason came to stand between us, the hard set of his jaw telling me he was pissed as well. “Okay, let’s all chill out.”
“No. I’m not going to chill out,” I snapped.
“I saw how they were looking at you at the show,” Liam said, flinging his hands up. “They were smitten with you playing their own song to them on that stage. Of course you’re talented, Adeline, but there are talented starving artists all over the country. I know you’re too smart to let a bunch of rock stars past their prime convince you otherwise.”
I sneered at him. “They are far from being past their prime.”
Liam’s chuckle was humorless. “Please. Their last good album was from like five years ago. I know you’re trying to sell them as being straitlaced, but their guitarist died from a goddamn overdose.”
I’d never wanted to punch anyone in the face this badly. “I have no idea who they were in the past, and frankly, I don’t care. All I know is that they’re real musicians who care about their music, who care about their bandmates, and who sure as shit don’t knock each other down like you’re trying to do to me.”
“I’m not trying to knock you down,” Liam said, his cheek twitching. “I’m trying to bring you back to reality. We have always been on the same page about this band. Always, until now. You work with a famous band for what—three weeks? And now you think we have a chance at making it big? That’s not how it works. If you want to chase after it, be my guest, but I want no part of it.”
Angry tears filled my eyes. I whipped to look at Elly, who sat on the chair with a straight back and shell-shocked look on her face. “And you? Are you in or out?”
Elly swallowed. “I’d keep going if everyone else was down, but without Liam… We’d have to find someone to replace him, not to mention spend a ton of time getting them ramped up, and all that with no guarantee that we’d jam well with them… I’m sorry, Ade.”
Mason pursed his lips when our eyes met, his frustration and anger barely contained. I didn’t need to ask for his opinion. Without a guitarist and a bassist, there would be no band.
My eyes flickered shut. It was over.
“Ade, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said some of those things.” Liam’s tone was conciliatory. It was easy for him to be conciliatory now that he’d won.
“Yeah, but you did.” I stood up and picked up my guitar to leave. “Mason, I’ll see you tomorrow.
“Ade, c’mon. Don’t storm off like that.” Liam stood up and grabbed my arm. I shook him off and got into my car. Maybe I’d be ready for a reconciliation in a few weeks, but right now, I just wanted to get out of here.
The three of them watched as I pulled out of Mason’s driveway. Disappointment tore through me at the realization that this had been our last practice, and we hadn’t even touched our instruments. Through Azure Skies had ended with a bang, just not the kind any of us had hoped for.
I typed out a text to Cole and Ezra as I was going to sleep that night, but then I remembered they were going camping first thing the following morning. I erased it because I didn’t want them to worry about me or insist on meeting up before they left.
My sleep was restless. I woke up feeling as tired as I’d been the night before, but Molly was leaving in a few hours, and I had to get up to help her get ready.
My mood was somber as we packed up the last of her clothes in a big suitcase. Finally, Molly pulled me into the living room and demanded I tell her everything that had happened.
“That sucks,” she concluded after I finished. “I wish I could’ve been there to kick him in the nuts for saying that shit to you.”
I pulled on my lip, and Molly frowned.
“Don’t tell me you believed the guys only praised you to get into your pants. You know that’s nonsense, right?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I waved her off. In truth, I wasn’t so sure. In my anger, it had been easy to initially dismiss his words, but now they’d marinated in my brain overnight and taken root.
I had already slept with Cole and Ezra when we had the conversation about the band, but it was true that they were still trying to convince me to keep doing it. But I knew their characters by now, and I didn’t believe it was possible for them to lie like that to my face. After all, they thought I was good enough to record this album with them. Why was I letting Liam get under my skin?
Years of thinking you’re not good enough, that’s why, a little voice whispered in my head.
I shook it off. There was no point in thinking about all of this now.
Regardless of whether Ezra and Cole meant what they said, Through Azure Skies was over. It was time for me to come to terms that in a few weeks, I’d likely never play in a band again.
A honk from the front yard snapped me out of my reverie. Molly went to open the door to wave hello to Mason, and we grabbed a few boxes of her stuff for the car.
“Hey, Mol,” he greeted her with a big grin, taking the box out of her hands. “You excited? I got a sick playlist for the drive. I hope you’re contributing snacks.”
She nudged his arm with her little fist. “Obviously.”
I could see she was holding back a smile. Mason might find a receptive audience in her after all.
Molly rushed past to get more stuff while I placed my box in his trunk.
“You okay, Ade?” he asked, his brows furrowed. “That was some bullshit last night.”
“Yeah. But it’s done. I knew that breaking up was the likely outcome, I just didn’t think Liam would go off like that.”
Mason ran a hand through his messy hair. “Honestly, I think he’s jealous.”
I arched my brow. “Doubt it.”
“I’m serious. He was our lead only because you didn’t want it. You’ve always been a better guitarist than him. Then the whole Bleeding Moonlight thing happened, and I think it just woke the green fairy.”
That didn’t make sense to me. “He’s never taken our music seriously, so why would he care?”
“Sometimes people dismiss things because they’re afraid of putting in an earnest effort only to end up failing.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, partially because his words hit home for me as well. Maybe Liam and I weren’t so different after all when it came to music.
“Whatever.” I shrugged, eager to move on. “Mason, I hope you find a group of people you can continue playing with at college,” I said, tugging him to face me. “You’re so young and so talented. Don’t give up, okay? Don’t be like Liam or me.”
His lips inched up. “I won’t give up on me if you don’t give up on yourself, ’kay? And for God’s sake, you’re only two years older than me. Hardly a grandma.”
Taut Strings: A Rock Star Romance (River Valley Rebels) Page 23