The rest of the drive over passed quickly, and soon we were weaving our way through the back parking lot to the venue. A pair of security guards checked our backstage passes before leading us down a long narrow hallway.
Silas tugged on my hand. “Let me know if you want to talk,” he whispered in my ear. “I know it’s a lot to process.”
I shot him a nervous look. “Does Abel know?” There was no need to clarify what I meant.
“Yeah. He figured it out himself, but we didn’t bother denying it. I’m sorry. I know you were nervous about him finding out. But he needed to know the full picture. It wouldn’t have been fair to hide it from him at this point.”
Abel had agreed to the idea of me joining the band despite knowing the full story. Was I relieved? Maybe a little. But what did he think was going to happen if I agreed to their offer?
The security guards stopped in front of a door labeled “Green Room,” breaking my train of thought. I straightened my leather jacket as we waited for someone to open the door, suddenly wishing I had put on a flashier outfit than my torn-up gray jeans and a Mastery tank top. At least the jacket dressed it up a little. Abel stood in front of me wearing a simple light-gray T-shirt tight enough to reveal the muscular outline of his back. All of the guys looked incredible tonight, and nearly every female—and male—roadie did a double take as they rushed past us.
The door opened. Nick, the front man of Mastery, stood on the other side. His face broke out into a grin. “Hey, y’all. Come on in.”
He slapped the guys on their backs as they walked in, hard enough for everyone to flinch except for Silas, who stood about half a head taller than the front man.
They shared a tense look before bursting out laughing and pulling each other into a hug.
“You fucker,” Nick said as he pulled away. “You get bigger every time I see you. I swear, they fucked up when they cast Chris Hemsworth as Thor instead of you.”
Silas wore this satisfied grin under his beard that made me laugh, which earned me a look from Nick.
“And who’s this?” His gaze skated up and down my form. Normally, this kind of attention from the leading man of one of my favorite bands would delight me, but instead, I simply worried Silas would tear his head off his neck. The guitarist grabbed my arm and pulled me into his side, a move so obviously possessive that Nick’s lips turned up.
“This is Adeline, our session guitarist for the album we’re working on.”
I smiled at Nick and extended my hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m a big fan. Thanks so much for having us.”
He took my hand and winked. “Of course, anything for our friends from Bleeding Moonlight.” His gaze once again found Silas. “I was worried about how you’d fare after everything that happened, but I’m glad to see you’ve been able to continue making music.”
Silas nodded and tightened his hold on me.
The four other members of Mastery were scattered around the dressing room, chatting to Ezra, Abel, and Cole. Silas led me around to meet all of them, and my smile grew progressively bigger with each introduction. People always dream of meeting their idols, and there can be nothing worse than finding out they’re not what they seem. Fortunately, the guys from Mastery were all polite, funny, and seemed to take an interest in just how I’d ended up working with Bleeding Moonlight.
“If you’re looking for work once you finish with these losers, let me know,” Kev, Mastery’s guitarist, told me after hearing the full story. “You must be great if they let you record with them. They’re a bunch of perfectionists, something I’m sure you’ve realized by now.”
Silas tensed beside me, so I picked my words with care. “Thank you. I’m not sure what I’ll be working on afterward, but that’s a very kind offer.”
“Sure. Let me give you my number.”
As he added himself as a contact on my phone, Silas leaned down to whisper in my ear. “Our offer is a little kinder, don’t you think?”
“If by kinder you mean more likely to make my brain short-circuit, then yes.” Their offer had more than one implication, and I was having a lot of trouble wrapping my head around it all.
Nick stood up. “The opening band is about to go on if you want to check them out. We’re going to go warm up.”
The opening act was a heavy metal band called Flies of Misery, and we watched from the side of the stage, away from the main crowd in the pit.
I’d never attended a big concert this way, and even though the intimate view of the performers was cool, I wanted to be in the middle of the action for Mastery’s performance.
Ezra handed me a beer, meeting my gaze and reminding me of the dilemma I had blissfully forgotten for the past half hour.
I sucked on the bottle as if I could find some answers on its bottom.
Of course, what they were asking for was completely mental. Impossible. Insane.
But as I stood and watched another band bring their all to the stage, something scratched at my heart. This reality, this dream I’d once carried but had long given up on was suddenly within my reach. I only had to stretch my fingers and grab it.
What happens when you disappoint them? When they realize what a mistake they’ve made and kick you to the curb? You may have helped them to pick up their pieces, but who’s going to help you pick up yours?
I emptied out my lungs and looked down at the now-empty bottle.
“Another one?” Ezra offered.
“Sure,” I agreed, deciding it could only help. As he turned his back to me and walked to the cooler, I nibbled on my bottom lip.
I wanted to talk to Ezra about their offer and my unorthodox relationship with him, Cole, and Silas. They had to have discussed it. If I agreed to join the band, did they think we’d keep going or stop? Shouldn’t we lay all of our cards on the table at this point? If any issues came up as a result, me joining the band could never work.
“We need to talk,” I told Ezra as he came back with my second beer. Face twisting in concern, he nodded and clasped my hand in his. We weaved through the small crowd of roadies until we were out of everyone’s earshot. The other guys didn’t seem to notice us leave. Their attention focused on the performance.
He watched me as I took a deep breath, working on finally spitting out what I should have told him days ago.
“I’ve been sleeping with Silas since last weekend. I know it’s probably a moot point by now. Silas said all of you know what’s been happening, but I still wanted to say it. Ezra, I’ve never done this before.” I squeezed his hand to emphasize my point. “I don’t know if this relationship between us should be a pro or a con for me joining the band,” I admitted. “It feels so messy. So complicated. Thinking about it makes my head hurt, but I know that when I’m with the three of you, I feel… God, I can’t even describe it.”
His expression softened, and he leaned in and wrapped his arms around me. I let my head fall to his chest.
“You feel alive.” His lips moved against my hair. “You feel like you can take anything that the world throws at you. You feel like you have people that will always have your back.”
I swallowed. “Yeah. Something like that.”
He pressed his forehead against mine. “None of us wanted to pressure you into a conversation you weren’t ready to have.”
“I’m ready now. I have to be. How can I possibly join Bleeding Moonlight if we’re not on the same page about all of this? I know we should probably all talk together, but I feel like I’d be going into a conversation like that blind. I have so many questions.”
“You can ask me anything,” he said, dragging his palm over my cheek. Without a thought, I leaned into his touch.
“How can you not mind that I’m with all of you?”
He placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Adeline, we all have feelings for you, and so we understand how the others feel. You came into our lives and changed everything. We’ve never done this before, either, never even imagined that something like this could work. Maybe beca
use it only works with you. We want this, whatever this is, exactly as it is.”
His words send a shiver down my spine. “I’m not like you,” I told him. “I can’t share you with other women. If we’re going to do this, I need to know I’m the only one.”
“There’s no one else,” he said, looking me directly in the eye. “For all of us, it’s only you.”
The relief I felt at his words was palpable. “What about the media? What if it gets out? And what about Abel? He must have strong feelings about it.”
“I don’t have all the answers,” Ezra confessed. “Frankly, I don’t think anyone does at this point. But I do have faith in our ability to figure it out together. And Abel… I think you should talk to him. I think that’s a story that’s still being written.” He cradled my face with his hands, his sky-blue eyes singing promises I could only hope he’d keep. “This isn’t something frivolous. You must know that by now. This is real. And I can’t speak for the rest, but I know exactly what I feel when I look at you. When we play music together. When we talk and I don’t hesitate to tell you things that normally choke in my throat.”
His words made my heart skip a beat.
“I’m in love with you, Adeline.” His fingers landed on my lips. “And you don’t need to say it back to me for it to be true. It is an indisputable fact, and I want you to know it.”
His confession traveled through my bloodstream and into my head like a strong glass of wine.
“Ezra…” I clasped his forearm, the solid feel of him beneath my hand anchoring me down. “I—”
Loud applause interrupted the moment, and we both turned to look at the stage. The opening band was done with their set. Their clothing drenched with sweat, yet their faces were ecstatic. They stopped to greet Cole, Silas, and Abel when they recognized who they were.
Knowing we were running out of time, I pulled on Ezra’s arm, drawing him back to me. “I’m still figuring this out, but…it’s real. It’s real for me, too.”
His smile said that he understood, and it lingered on his face even as Cole jogged up to us.
“Want to go down to the pit for Mastery?” the bassist asked, his curls bouncing around his face.
“Yes,” I answered. My whole body was buzzing with adrenaline and tension as Abel and Silas appeared by Cole’s side. We rushed down the stairs leading into the pit, me surrounded by my men on all sides, their hands brushing against mine and sending sparks across my skin. We grinned at each other as we became enveloped by the packed crowd.
Abel clasped my hand in his, surprising me for the thousandth time this night. “Don’t get lost,” he said against my ear.
I was lost, though. And now I had to decide if I was ready to be found.
ABEL
I held her hand through the first few songs, unable to stop myself from watching how thoroughly she was enjoying the show.
Silas stood a few feet ahead of us, headbanging to the music. Ezra and Cole had disappeared, probably to somewhere in the mosh pit. It wasn’t the smartest thing for them to get into, but they were big boys. They could take care of themselves. Unlike Adeline, whom I suddenly had a strong urge to protect. I knew she’d probably tell me that she didn’t need any protection from me if I voiced my thoughts, but despite how hard she worked at the gym, I couldn’t see her getting into a physical fight. She was too measured. Too deliberate. I was glad to play the part of bodyguard.
For a woman you haven’t even had?
I pushed that thought out of my head. Standing room at a metal concert could get pretty intense, and I didn’t want her to get knocked down, or even worse, groped by a drunk idiot. She was our potential future bandmate, and that meant I had to watch out for her.
Right. That’s why you’re doing this.
When some dude from behind bumped into her, she staggered forward, pulling on my hand, her eyes still glued to the stage. I whipped my head to scowl at him, and he raised his palms up in apology when he saw my expression. Physically, I wasn’t enormous like Silas, but I was stronger than I looked, and I could be downright vicious if the occasion called for it.
I moved to stand right behind Adeline, putting my hands on her hips, and earned a quick glance from her. She tensed underneath my palms for a moment before relaxing again.
I’d never been this close to her before. Her voluminous hair reached to just below my chin. The scent of it was intoxicating and sent blood straight to my dick. I shifted my hips back so that she wouldn’t accidentally find out exactly what she was doing to me.
This was bad. Very bad.
Despite the rest of my band’s intimate relationship with her, it felt like the two of us were only starting to cross the fiery chasm that I had created and fed from the moment we met. A part of me still didn’t know if I was ready to give my heart to someone so soon after Charlie.
You sure it’s not too late for that?
Maybe it was. As I pushed away another guy who got too close to Adeline, it hit me that while the thought of another man’s hands on her was infuriating, irrationally, that feeling didn’t extend to the rest of my bandmates. Did that mean a part of me wanted to join in on whatever the hell they were doing?
Even if I did, I had no idea if Adeline would have me after I’d spent weeks acting like a dick.
Our fingers intertwined as she placed her hands on top of mine and pulled my arms tighter around her waist. When she turned her head to say something to me, her lips were a tantalizing few inches away from mine.
“I know what you’re doing.”
My face began to burn. How could she possibly know about the erection I was sporting?
“Thank you for keeping me safe. It’s very sweet.”
Oh. “Sure,” I said, keeping my voice as casual as it could be while trying to make myself heard over the music.
She twisted slightly in my arms and leaned into my ear. “You’ve surprised me, you know?”
“How so?”
“With the fact that you’re onboard with this idea. One day I’d love to know how the guys managed to convince you.”
Her smile was teasing, but all I could do was stare at how her lashes fanned across her cheeks. I wanted to tell her that they didn’t have to do much. That as soon as we’d written that song together, I’d known there was potential here.
“Maybe one day I’ll tell you,” I responded lamely. Her smile wavered for a moment, and then she turned away from me once again.
I instantly felt bad for my cold response and pulled her even closer, bridging whatever inches had remained between our bodies.
When she stiffened, I remembered why I had put that distance there in the first place.
My hard cock was pressed against her ass, and I knew there wasn’t a chance she couldn’t feel it. I was too mortified to move, and we stood like two stiff mannequins for a long moment.
Then, she pressed back.
I nearly choked on the saliva that was rapidly flooding my mouth. Why wasn’t she pulling away?
Maybe she was scared. Maybe she thought I’d take back the offer if she didn’t reciprocate. That idea made me feel nauseous, so I moved my hands to her hips with the intention of pushing her away, but before I could, she ground her ass against me.
Was she…into this?
The possibility of her being into me made me rock on my heels, as if the movement could right my world that just flipped upside down. I could resist my own budding feelings for her if I knew she was unlikely to reciprocate, but if she was starting to feel something for me, refusing her would be impossible. I was stronger than I looked, but I was not strong enough for that.
She was definitely grinding into me, the movement slow and deliberate, and I stifled a groan. She tipped her head back to rest on my chest, giving me a view of her exposed neck, and I didn’t waste a second before pressing my lips to the smooth skin.
I didn’t have a chance to ask myself what the fuck I was doing before her scent once again assaulted my senses. She smelled phenome
nal, like flowers and honey, and I lapped at her like a starving man at a buffet. The music swallowed up her moans, but her neck vibrated with the sound against my lips. My balls tightened as I slowly dragged my right hand from her hips to graze the underside of her breast.
The song ended suddenly, and I broke away, my breaths fast and ragged. Adeline’s chest moved with the same rapid pace as she spun around to face me, her face flushed and a little broken. “I’m going to get another beer. I’ll bring you one back.”
“Ade—” Before I could finish saying her name, she was moving, twisting through the crowd and disappearing from sight. I sighed, running a hand through my hair and looking around for the other guys, none of whom I could see. Mastery was switching some equipment, and the crowd was frothing all around me, waiting for the music to start again.
“You traitorous piece of shit.”
The venomous words came accompanied by a hard jerk on my wrist. I whipped around to see a short woman I didn’t recognize grabbing onto me, her fingernails biting into my skin.
“What the fuck?” I said, trying to shake her off. She wouldn’t let go, and I had to figure out how to get her away from me without using force.
“Charlie dies, and you move on to some bitch less than two months later?”
Her words were so shocking that I froze. Judging by the gray hairs peeking through the grown-out roots of her jet-black hair, she must be in her forties or older. I could smell the alcohol on her breath, but she didn’t seem disoriented or unsteady. Her band T-shirt was so worn that it took me a while to recognize it was one of ours.
She tugged on me with surprising force. “You fucking deaf?”
She must be a crazy fan, I concluded, but that didn’t explain how she knew about Charlie and I. Everything between us had happened in private, away from any prying eyes.
“Let go of me,” I demanded. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She scoffed. “Please. You think you could hide the truth from your fans? We know you were together. We think he was the one who wrote the majority of your songs, and you took credit for it. He gave you everything, and this is how you repay him? By replacing him before he’s cold in his grave? It should have been you who died.”
Taut Strings: A Rock Star Romance (River Valley Rebels) Page 29