I am pleased to inform you that my meek little classmate has finally built up enough nerve to approach her. God, Zane... my heart was pounding as I watched him walk up to her after class, repetitively wiping his hands on his pants because you and I both know how sweaty they were, right? I swear... his face was actually a shade of green when she made eye contact with him. But it went off better than expected. His stutter was to a minimum and even though he kept glancing at me for emotional reassurance, he got the words out. I think it was something like, "Wouldyoupleasegooutwithme?" He practically screamed it at her and it came out so fast, I couldn't understand what he said, and I know she didn't either.
I thought for sure he was doomed but then he took a deep breath, which is exactly what I advised him to do if he got nervous, and tried again... this time a little slower, and a little clearer. It must have been said with a great deal of charm too because before I knew it, she was smiling at him and giving him her number.
Score!!!
My work is done, and now I feel complete.
So, what are you up to? I'm thinking you are probably on the plane right now. Right? I bet you are so excited to see your family. I can't even imagine living so far from mine, especially as close as we are. And, because I do know, in fact, how close you are to your parents and your "bratty little sister," who I am quite positive is not bratty at all despite how many times you tell me that, I can guess how you must feel living so far away from them.
My advice is to relax and enjoy these last few days you have off before training camp starts. Because your ass is getting ready to get super busy.
Okay... have to run. Teagan's here and we're going out tonight. I hope she doesn't keep yammering at me to go out with her co-worker. You know, the one I told you about. I might just have to give in so she'll shut up. Have you ever been on a blind date before? The thought of it makes me nervous, but maybe I'm being silly.
Okay, I'm really out...
Have fun visiting your family! Talk soon.
Cheers,
Cady
My stomach dips and rolls, not having a damn thing to do with a turbulent flight. She had mentioned in her last email to me that Teagan was trying to set her up on a date with some dude. An architect, apparently, which I'm betting makes him an uber douche.
I sort of just ignored that little piece of information she had handed out to me. I'm not even going to mention it when I write back. I won't mention it because my heart wants me to tell her not to do it. There are a million reasons I can throw out to her to dissuade her from going out with this guy, but my fears are keeping me silent. I don't want her to think this is anything more than a friendship, and if I ever admit to her that my blood boils with jealous thoughts over the mere idea of her going out with someone, she'd think I am certifiably crazy.
Cady has never hinted at wanting anything more than the easy friendship we've slipped into. Our emails are usually light and chatty, but we've talked about some deep things as well, which has done nothing but solidify the bonds we're creating. Yet neither one of us have ever mentioned that night again after that first set of emails, and it's almost like it's become taboo to talk about the fact that she and I almost killed each other with an overdose of orgasms.
We don't talk about it, but I sure as fuck can't stop thinking about it. Every woman I meet fails to live up to Cady. I've been out clubbing a few times with my teammates, squeezing the most out of my summer vacation. I've had plenty of women come on to me, even once had a set of twin sisters wanting to come home with me.
And every fucking time, I said no.
Like a fucking loser... I said no.
I have no commitment to Cady. She would never expect me to stay monogamous to her, and I don't expect the same of her. We had a one-night experience that we both agreed would never recur because we didn't live near each other. Instead, we built a solid and close-knit friendship. In fact, I'd say it was my closest friendship at this point in my life.
But that's all it is. It's all it can ever be, because I can't fucking see her... touch her... taste her. You can't have a relationship like that outside of the bounds of friendship. It just can't work, and so, I can't be mad or jealous about her going out with someone.
I also need to stop turning my nose up at the abundance of easy pussy that's paraded in front of me and get back to doing what I do best. Fucking my way through the lovely single ladies of Phoenix.
Yes, that's for the best, and as if to solidify and reaffirm these thoughts, I fire back a quick email to her.
To: Cady Dunne
From: Zane Kavanaugh
Subject: Give The Guy A Chance
Date: September 12, 2014
Yes, I am on the plane and it should be landing soon. Wanted to send you back a quick email. I'm glad your classmate finally grew a big pair of balls. I'm proud of all your hard work. If the guy gets laid, he owes you big time.
As for the blind date, I've never been on one, but I imagine Teagan isn't going to set you up with someone that you wouldn't enjoy. Go out and have fun. It will be an adventure for you.
My fingers halt... freezing actually, and I know I can't go through with it. I can't give her support and encouragement... not when it comes to seeing another guy, no matter how selfish that is of me.
I quickly delete what I wrote, including the "subject line," and start again.
To: Cady Dunne
From: Zane Kavanaugh
Subject: Blind Dates Are Lame
Don't do it, Cady. I once read an article that said only 4% of women who go on blind dates have a good time, and another article that said 78% of women who go on blind dates end up contracting an STD if said date leads to sex. I feel it's important for me to have your back on this one, so trust me... it's not worth it. Besides, didn't you once tell me Teagan dated a guy that pierced his ass cheeks? I mean... seriously, do you want to be taking dating advice from someone who finds that attractive?
I pause a minute and chew on my bottom lip. Do I keep this tongue in cheek and hope she doesn't see through to my true intent? Or do I just come out and tell her what I really want? I ponder a moment more as I crack my knuckles, and then resume the email that might just paint me out to be a fool a million times over.
Okay, here's the thing. If you're still pining over me and that amazing night we had, or you are sexually frustrated and need relief, I believe there is only one thing to do. You shouldn't go out on a lame blind date, potentially risking heartbreak and crabs. Rather, you should come back to the States to visit me. We could work something out with my schedule and spend a few days together. I promise you amazing orgasms, and I will save you from a terrible fate if you go out with this guy. Think about it... I'm serious. I'd love to see you again. Remember that little thing I did to you with my fingers? There's more where that came from.
Zane
I read over my words, talking myself into accepting them as a quirky way of flirting with her, opening the door with sexual innuendo, and hopefully dissuading her from going out with another man. I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to accomplish but worst-case scenario, she decides the risk of a bad blind date isn't worth it, and best-case scenario, she'll come visit me and I'll get to lose myself in her once again.
I hit the send button, put my laptop away, and settle in to impatiently await her reply.
Chapter 5
Cady
To: Zane Kavanaugh
From: Cady Dunne
Subject: Sorry so late...
Date: September 16, 2014
...I'm responding to your last email, but things have been crazy the last few days. I had a group research project to finish, which was complicated by the fact that the other three members in my group didn't do their part. As a result, I was scrambling around at the last minute to pull it all together. Then I had Da's birthday party celebration to attend, which was a lot of fun, but Cillian and Renner got me piss-assed drunk, and I lost an entire day to a hangover.
But now I'm back on track and wanted to sho
ot out a quick hello and see how things are with you.
I pull my fingers away from my laptop and take a deep breath. That's the first lie I've told to Zane, and it sits heavy on my heart. It's true that I had a group research project, and it's true that I got drunk at my da's birthday party. What's not true, however, is that these things have kept me so busy I didn't have time to write back to Zane.
I've wanted to write him back... badly. But I didn't know what to say. No amount of pondering gave me clarity on how I should respond to his last email, which was chock-full of confusion for me.
At first, I took his words as witty banter, quoting me false statistics and bringing into question Teagan's soundness of mind when it came to the opposite sex. All good and funny, and yeah... I chuckled. I didn't take him seriously. This was just Zane being Zane.
But then he did it.
He mentioned "that night" and even had the audacity to suppose I was sexually frustrated since then. He could have still been goofing around, but when he extended an offer for me to come visit him, that's when I knew he was being serious. He wanted to see me again... fuck me again... and that was no joke.
That meant he didn't want me to go on that blind date.
That meant he was thinking outside the bounds of friendship.
And that completely flummoxed me.
So I spent the last four days trying to figure out how to respond to him.
At my core, what I really wanted to do was pull on my meager savings account and hop the first flight to the States. I figured in less than twenty-four hours, I could fly to Phoenix and be in his bed, experiencing the same amazing chemistry resulting in the same astounding ecstasy I had with him before.
But that wasn't practical, and when it boils right down to it, it wouldn't be anything more than a long-distance, not to mention expensive, booty call. We both very much enjoyed each other, and I'll go ahead and lay it out on the line... it was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. But great sex, long distance, and flirty emails don't really equate to anything.
It's still completely unworkable. When I realized that for the truth it is, it made me unbelievably sad and dejected. Because, unfortunately, Zane Kavanaugh pushes every one of my buttons, and I'm not sure anyone else will ever be able to compare.
Regardless... I need to maneuver our conversations back to a more friendly level and leave the sexual banter and memories behind.
So, remember when I last wrote that Teagan and I were going out for drinks? Well, that little bitch surprised me by bringing her co-worker she wanted to set me up with. His name is Colin, and he's a nice guy. Once I got over being mad at Teagan for springing him on me, I actually enjoyed my time out. So much so that I agreed to go out to dinner with him this upcoming weekend.
I'm hopeful I'm going to fall into that 4% of women that have a good time. I won't comment on your 78% statistic you quoted me.
Tell me how was your vacation and the visit with your family? Did you have a good time? I'm sure you did but you know me... I want details. Share it all with me, friend.
It's getting late, and I have an early class tomorrow. Can't wait to hear from you.
Cheers,
Cady
There.
It's done.
I've managed to deflect his invitation to come visit him by telling him about Colin, and the fact that I did agree to a date with him this weekend. That should be enough to alert Zane that we really have no business considering seeing each other again. It's too impractical.
At least... I think I managed to put things back on track. I read back over the email before I send it, and I realize that it really doesn't elucidate on anything of importance. I only mentioned Colin as a means of inferring that I was moving on with my love life, which should prompt Zane to do the same.
Yet, when I think about him moving on--when I think about this stupid date I agreed to and really don't want to go on--it causes my chest to constrict for some odd reason.
I think about that night we spent with each other. An unfiltered image permeates my mind... of the first time that Zane sunk himself into me. This came on the heels of him bringing me to a blistering climax with his mouth and deftly sheathing himself with a condom before I could even catch my breath.
He's a large man... everywhere, and he filled me so completely that I could feel every nuance of his movements. He fucked me thoroughly... slowly, and murmured in my ear the entire time. Lovely endearments with just a hint of dirty talk.
Never imagined it would feel this good.
Fuck, Cady... I'm on the verge of losing control.
I'm getting ready to come... but don't think it's the end of this night. I'm already planning to fuck you from behind the next time.
I shiver as I remember the lust and passion in his voice... the surety with which he spoke and the confidence with which he played my body. He made me feel like the sexiest woman he had ever been with, and his skills as a lover had me orgasming again just as he did.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph... those memories cause me to feel warm, flushed, and out of breath.
And before I know it, I can't freaking help the stupid, stupid postscript that comes to mind. My fingers start flying over my keyboard, and I can't seem to muster up the perseverance to stop myself.
P.S.
I would love nothing more than to come visit, because yes... you sort of spoiled me with your bedroom activities. I'm not sure I'll ever have that many orgasms in such a short time period again. Yet, that can't be a good enough reason for me to forsake my schooling. I guess the memories will have to be enough. ;)
And yes... I gave him a smiling face with a wink, just so he understands that despite me having some feelings brewing inside, this is still going to be nothing more than flirtation for us.
Before I could wise up... before I could come to my senses, I hit the send button. Then, there's no taking back the fact I kept the door open to continue our sexual banter.
I'm so bad, and I'm going to suffer for it, because there won't be a damn thing I can do about it. But if I can't have the real deal with him, I guess flirting and revisiting the most sensual night of my life isn't such a hardship to bear.
My cell phone rings, jerking me from all of these thoughts about Zane and our non-relationship. I see Teagan's name flashing, and I answer.
"What's up?" I ask brusquely, still not quite ready to fully forgive her for bringing Colin to our girls' night out. While he was indeed nice, cute, and charming, I really wasn't interested in dating anyone right now. I only agreed to dinner because he caught me off guard, and I literally couldn't think of a single polite excuse to decline. So now, I'm stuck.
"Don't take that tone with me, darling," Teagan huffs and, immediately, she makes me smile. She may be a bitch half the time, and she lives her life like a crazy woman, but she's my crazy bitch and I love her.
"I'm still mad at you for bringing Colin out the other night," I sniff back. "I told you I don't want to date anyone right now."
"Yet, you agreed to go out to dinner with him," she points out.
"Only because he caught me off guard. I really don't want to go," I practically whine at her.
"So don't go," she says in a bored tone. "It's not like you'd have a good time... you know... what with you pining over Zane."
"What?" I practically shriek into the phone. "What do you mean 'pining over Zane'? I most certainly am not pining."
"Oh, please, you little brat," she says with a maniacal laugh. "Do you know how much you've been talking about him since you came back to Dublin? I've had the rundown on every single email that you've exchanged with him, and you don't even tell me the good stuff. You haven't provided one single, juicy detail of the sex you two had. Instead, I have to listen to you gush about how funny he is, and how interested he is in your life and your studies, and for fuck's sake, Cady... you even tell me what he eats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."
My mouth opens to deny everything she says, but I know it's true
. I also know Teagan's been humoring me when I prattle on and on about Zane. She's humoring me because she's never seen me this interested in a man before, and she doesn't want to rain on my parade.
But I don't need her to rain on it.
I've put away my metaphorical umbrella and have let the showers pour down on me, laying heavy like a wet blanket of frustration that Zane and I will never really have anything more than a friendship, solely due to the fact that we live so far apart from each other.
Chapter 6
Zane
I read Cady's email twice, the second time feeling angrier than the first. She's seriously not going to come visit me and, worse yet, she's going out on a date with someone.
My insides twist with disappointment because I honestly thought she wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see her.
Apparently not.
To: Cady Dunne
From: Zane Kavanaugh
Subject: Don't Speak In Riddles
Date: September 16, 2014
What's going on here, Cady? I don't buy the excuse about school interfering, because you and I have emailed so much over the last few weeks that I am well versed on your schedule. I know that you have classes on Monday and Wednesday. I know that your professor for your Psychometrics class spits when he talks, so no one will sit in the front row. I know your professor for your Counseling and Theory Practice class is from Taiwan and while you believe she's brilliant, you can't be absolutely sure because you can only understand about fifty-percent of what she's saying. I know that a study you read about children with learning disabilities and the hard road they have before them in the school system made you cry one night, so you immediately put in your favorite funny movie, Happy Gilmore, to cheer you up. I know a ton about you and your schooling.
I also know you have a study group on Thursday. I know your study group meets first thing in the morning on Thursday and you are done by ten AM. I also know that you haven't missed a class yet, and I'm sure you could forego one set of classes on a Monday. So, by my reasoning, you could fly out Thursday and come back on Monday. We'd have three days together. If you absolutely must make your classes on Monday, then go back on Sunday. Two days together are better than none.
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