“Such a thoughtful guardian,” Meriad sneered. “And why here, of all places?”
“Because you are here and you are his family,” he said simply.
“What if I… don’t want to have anything to do with him?” she hedged.
“Then you would not have cared to meet with me.”
She frowned, for he was right. “Oh very well, Gabrion. But the only way I will be able to talk to you is if I pretend you are some stranger and not the boy who ruined everything.”
He let the remark go and agreed. “Fine.”
“You wanted to know why I enlisted our family as spies? It is simple. Farming isn’t easy in Hathreneir and the land in Kallisor is much more fertile. Also, working secretly for the king had its perks, such as the marriage lottery, which was how Mira came to be selected in the first place. Well,” she amended, “after she auditioned well for the role of queen.”
“Auditioned?”
“Don’t be an idiot. Do you really think the king would just marry some addle-minded peasant who wasn’t a pleasure to look at, demure when she needed to be, sultry when it was required? Once Mira was old enough to understand the situation we were in, we brought her to the best advisors we could in order to train her up right. And when the inspections were made of potential brides over the course of the years, Mira always proved herself a fit choice.”
Gabrion’s face scrunched in confusion. “For how long—?”
“Mira met the king some five years ago and they had their… adventures together.”
“But she and I were so close,” he lamented.
“No, you were a foolish child madly in love because she practiced her wiles on you and kept you blinded to who she really was.” She seemed to enjoy the anguish on Gabrion’s face. “Though as time went on, she began to waver, so it was important to seal her fate.”
“I don’t follow.”
She sighed mockingly. “I didn’t think you would. You were always a boy of action who followed his heart and never saw the world outside of himself. It was becoming clear that Prethos was infatuated with Mira, but he risked losing her to you if he waited too long. So Yorrish and I,” she choked on her husband’s name and took a moment to gather herself. “We went to Prethos and warned him.”
“I can’t believe that would have worked. He had the pick of all the women in the land.”
Meriad rolled her eyes; Gabrion wasn’t as gullible as he seemed. “Fine. We informed him that Andron was in the village and that he was training fools like you to rise up against Hathreneir. It would only be a matter of time before dear, impressionable Mira was caught up in enthusiasm and followed one of the young, muscled warriors instead of the distant king.” She shrugged. “That wasn’t enough to convince him, so we offered a proposal.”
“Savvron in exchange for Mira,” Gabrion surmised.
“Yes.” She seemed impressed. “He had already chosen Mira but was hesitating because she was younger than he wanted; however, knowing the specifics of the village, the best targets, the best defenders, the best way to neutralize the town without the blame coming back to the Hathren throne…” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head.
“That isn’t how it played out. In fact, it led to the resurgence of the fighting.”
“Mostly because of you, dear boy, and your mage friend who tagged along but wasn’t truly aligned to the plan. You were supposed to die that day, along with all the warriors-in-training. And enough homes were meant to burn that the people of Savvron would all have been crippled and unable to reach the king.”
“You’re barbaric.”
She shrugged. “I had to protect my family and getting Mira away from you was essential to that.”
“You had friends there!” he accused. “You sentenced them to die!”
“A spy never really has friends, Gabrion. The people who know I am a spy do not trust me. And the people who do not know, I cannot confide in. You’re right, though. It was barbaric. I was willing to sacrifice the whole of Savvron just to get my daughter wed to the king and bring my family home to Hathreneir, not as beggars but as royalty. I was greedy and it cost much.”
“And Mira…”
“She knew.”
Perrios made a gurgling sound and drew Gabrion’s attention. He had been tightening his grip inadvertently and the poor child didn’t understand the added pressure. With a deep breath, Gabrion loosened his hold and shifted the baby, trying to keep his thoughts together.
“You’re saying Mira knew that Savvron was going to be destroyed?”
“Attacked, at least,” Meriad shrugged. “She may not have understood all the implications of the plan, just that the day was coming when she would be leaving Kallisor altogether, and there would be some casualties along the way.”
“So when I met her in the castle and she denied the truth of what happened in Savvron…”
“She was lying to you,” Meriad stated bluntly. “I said earlier that she had trained to be the king’s wife and to do that, she had to show utmost support of him in all things. It didn’t matter if your feelings were hurt in the process. She had everything she ever wanted and Prethos loved her dearly. After all the things I had done in my life, she was finally happy.”
“I should believe your remorse?” he scoffed.
“Whether it is karma or ill-gotten fate, every effort I made to improve my family’s life brought disaster.” Tears glimmered in her eyes though she strained to fight them. “I wed Yorrish because he was a carpenter and my family were farmers. At first, I didn’t love him at all; his livelihood would better sustain a family than mine. My family disowned me because I walked away from their trade.
“Our son was trained to fight and I pushed him to enlist with the royal guard. He trained nonstop at my behest and he hated me for it. By the time Mira was born, Kyrell was a squad leader, but he was sloppy and it didn’t look like he would be promoted further.”
Meriad wiped her face and continued. “His best moment was overhearing the king’s chancellor talking about ways to infiltrate Kallisor; it was how we learned of the benefits of espionage, so we signed up and moved to Savvron. Mira wasn’t even a year old. Because of his connection to the royal guard, Kyrell was our key messenger. Those ‘stunts’ he did sneaking into Hathreneir were all missions. One went awry when his friends realized what he was up to and he perished.”
Gabrion stared at her for a while. “And then you essentially sold Mira to make things better but that didn’t work out either because of Dariak, who failed to kill us like some other mage would have. And the ironic part: I quested to find Mira and rescue her. Her death was never part of my plan. Even now, knowing that she was aware of those things and was an enemy to my home, I don’t even hate her for it; she didn’t really have a choice, did she?”
“No, not really,” Meriad admitted. “We only fought about it once and she threatened to leave us and stay with your family and never speak to us again. I told her to go right ahead and that we would leave for Hathreneir the very next day and she would never know our fate. Obviously, she didn’t follow through with her threat, and her decision to stay cemented her resolve to our cause.”
“For all the times we had, I never really knew her,” he said.
“No,” Meriad agreed, “but now you do. And you know who I am now too.”
“Some pieces are still missing. Why are you here? And why had the earl kidnapped you?”
Meriad stretched her back briefly and readjusted her shawl. “After Mira’s death, we were banished from the castle. We were sent here because they had need of carpenters and farmers, and though our age prohibited us from actually doing those things ourselves, we were able to teach others how to make things grow. We have had to work for our food again and after a year of luxury and freedom, it has been a difficult time.” She saw the blank look on Gabrion’s face. “Not that you pity me, I can see.”
“Just go on.”
“No matter. We worked hard to earn the good graces
of Earl Thedris while we’ve been here and he has seen fit to take our counsel on certain matters. We did, after all, serve the king well for years, even if the results were always disastrous in the end, personally speaking.”
Gabrion’s eyes opened wide. “Certain matters,” he echoed. “You’re the ones who suggested he kidnap the child and return him to the king!”
Her head lowered sadly. “I merely wanted to wrest him away from you, Gabrion. You killed Mira. What was I to expect of you here? To kill us? To slay the child in front of us? I had no idea. The earl misunderstood what I was saying, however, and once things were underway, he took us underground and trapped us there to ensure we would not reveal his plan.”
Meriad pulled her shawl tight and the tears in her eyes quavered and fell at last. “I wanted to take the baby from you so you wouldn’t harm him. I didn’t intend for the entire keep to erupt into a civil war, divided between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the earl. And true to form, Gabrion, my half-conceived notion fell apart and cost me dearly yet again. Yorrish was too frail to withstand the cold dungeon and he died two days before you even found us. And there I was, tied to him, feeling his body grow ever colder, silent and stiff and haunting me.”
She dissolved into a flurry of tears and despite everything, Gabrion felt sorry for her. “I don’t know what to say to you, Meriad.”
When her tears were done, she wiped her face on a corner of her shawl and she took a few more minutes to pull herself together before turning to the young warrior. “That baby is all I have left of my family.” She turned her wrinkled face down to see the boy, who had fallen asleep some time ago. “Yet I dare not touch him, for I am a cursed woman. Everything I do shatters around me. Protect him, Gabrion, by keeping him away from me.” Her hands trembled as they rested in her lap.
“Life is full of pain,” he said. “Great pain, in some cases. You’ve had a tough life. I don’t condone the choices you’ve made, but many people would make similar choices and not face the consequences you’ve had to face.”
“I don’t want any more pain. I am finished with it,” she whispered.
“No,” he argued, and he didn’t know why at first but he kept picturing a triangle. “You caused terrible anguish to so many others. You can’t give up now and free yourself from this life.”
“What would you have me do? Rot in a dungeon for the rest of my days? Face punishment from the king? Tell me, Gabrion, what would satisfy you?”
“You persevered all your life, trying to eke out the best possible situation by taking every shortcut you could think of. In the process, you dealt out pain to others and you received a great deal in return. Now, you have to complete your mission with a lesson in patience.”
The keywords trigged his memory; it was the advice of the Elder of Gerrish and the triangle he had shown Gabrion long, long ago. It was the same triangle that had caught Gabrion’s obsession when he was in his darkest places, but now it suddenly made sense to him. He hadn’t been patient himself before; he had thought time alone was patience, but it wasn’t. Patience had a greater quality to it than simply waiting in silence for events to unfold. Patience meant controlling oneself while pushing ahead against the trials of life. It wasn’t the same as perseverance, where the path was carved by the individual. No, patience was being a stone in a river with the water passing all around; it wasn’t the fish swimming upstream.
Suddenly he felt oddly out of place, sitting here with an infant in his arms when the kingdoms were at war. He was a warrior, meant to rise up against the fighting and stand solid in protest. He was meant to be the beacon that others could flock to, who would join his side and abandon the needless bloodshed because they knew in their hearts it was right. He wouldn’t have to convince them if he only showed them the way. Soon the one rock would become many and the river would be dammed, unable to flow, and the tide of war would come to an end.
He didn’t need to wield his sword against an enemy. He needed to rise up and stand above the rest to show them what to do. It all seemed so simple now.
His mind flashed to his efforts at the outpost and the success he had found there. He hadn’t been in a mode of perseverance there. He had been a vehicle of patience, of calming the throngs of fighters and making them experience the given moment, and most of them had joined his idealism.
Gabrion looked down at Perrios and then turned his gaze to Meriad, wondering for how long he had been silent. Meriad’s expression showed no signs of impatience while she awaited her sentence.
“You will teach him a better way,” Gabrion instructed. “You’re right, though. I will not allow you to raise him as your own, but you will be instrumental in his upbringing.”
Her voice rattled with curiosity. “How?”
“You will tell him our story. All of it,” he said. “He will learn both sides of things, unlike any of us have ever heard before. He will know your treachery and your pain, as he will know mine. He will learn to see the truth of things because a new world is coming where the wars will no longer be between our peoples. We will need a king who can rise above prejudice and tradition and who can carve a new and bright future.”
She gaped at him. “But Gabrion, how? Everything I touch…”
“You will not raise him,” he reiterated. “You will guide him. You will be honest with him in all things, even those things that are hurtful. He must know and understand reality, not the imagined biases we all carry around. He will accept everyone in all things, so long as their intentions are pure. And for those who seek to cause harm, he will know them for who they are and he will persecute them appropriately.”
“How do you expect me to impart all of that upon him?”
“Just tell our story and he should be able to see it himself. And where he missteps, you can be there to set him right again.”
She looked bewildered. “And this would satisfy all the wrongs I have done, in your eyes?”
“I killed his mother. Whether my anger made it happen or it was an accident, I will never know. But perhaps he’ll see both sides of it and judge me accordingly. Yet, he needs the chance to reach a point where he is informed enough to make such judgments and can make them fairly and wisely.” He stroked Perrios’ tiny hand. “He may condemn me for what I have done or he may honor my other deeds. Or both. Aren’t we all complex in the end? No one is just good or evil, are we? We all do and think and feel things that others could take well or poorly.” He thought then of Kitalla’s last use of her dance skill to bewitch him, making him errantly believe she was dead and the anguish it had caused him, and he wondered if he could forgive her for it now.
“How will I know the whole story, Gabrion? I know my part in it, and some of yours, but in truth, I know very little.”
“We all have parts to tell,” he said. “And among my friends is a bard who will set the facts down for others to experience and decide for themselves if we were heroes or villains. For now, Alosia will care for Perrios and you will watch from afar, until you better know the tale of our journey.”
“And if I cannot?”
“You will, Meriad, for it is your duty now.”
She cleared her throat. “If the child is to remain here, then I can’t be here myself. I’m a cursed woman and I will not bring that destruction down upon him. He is the last vestige of my family and I will step away.” She saw the argument foment on Gabrion’s lips and she interjected, “But I will visit periodically to keep an eye on him and to guide him, as you say. I think the journey to and fro would be suitable penance for what I have done while keeping me clear from interfering too much in his life.”
Gabrion considered the idea and then agreed. “It would be for the best, Meriad. Teach him well and let him make his own decisions on the difficult matters.”
“And what of you, young warrior?”
“I have someplace else to be right now. I ran from my responsibilities and it is time I return to them.”
“I see.” She looked down at Perrios.
“He has many of his mother’s features. But I will admit, I hope he comes to learn the wisdom of his protector.” She turned her gaze pointedly at Gabrion. “You should take him away now and make arrangements for his future.”
Gabrion rose up and examined Meriad one last time before he stepped away. She seemed already stronger than when he had arrived, and he believed at last that everything was falling into place, despite the chaos it had taken to get there.
Chapter 33
The Wrath of Prethos
Chancellor Ieran grudgingly worked toward completing the supply list for Dariak, though no one could understand why the mage needed the obscure materials he requested. Every mage Ieran spoke to shrugged and each herbalist scratched his head in confusion. The process irritated him and his patience ran thin.
All he wanted was for Dariak and his cronies to leave the castle and for things to return to normal. However, with each passing day, his king seemed more resolute with maintaining the current state of things. Not everyone was as happy with the new order as they made it appear. Citizens complained constantly, their words coming to Ieran by secret messengers. Numerous shopkeepers were infuriated with the forced labor given to them to manage. Many people wanted life to return to the way it was before the castle had been attacked. Even news from the Undying Stone had told him of the earl’s failed attempt at wresting the heir away from Gabrion.
Though Ieran sent pages around to do most of Dariak’s grunt work, he took it upon himself to meet with key figures in the castle town. Wendall hosted gatherings among merchant sympathizers and old Frolla organized the townspeople directly. Ieran kept communications with them open at all times, knowing he would need their support when it came to fixing things.
Among the castle guards, Ieran had a number of key allies as well. They were stationed both at the castle and around town, keeping a vigilant eye on the daily happenings and watching for a time when they should act. Tensions mounted when Verna and Ruhk strutted around unexpectedly and it was difficult for some to keep their hidden plans secret.
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