“She didn’t talk about it?” I asked, swiping a tear from my cheek.
He shook his head and stared out at the road. “No. Not until the night before she shot him.”
“You told her what happened?”
He nodded and more tears streamed down his face. “I didn’t tell her much. Just enough so she knew it wasn’t right. She promised me that I’d never have to see him again. She was weird the next day, but she kept hugging me, telling me she was goin’ to make it all okay. She said she’d left a note for me under my pillow and that Jim was never going to hurt me again.” He blinked, and fresh tears fell down his face. “I haven’t seen her since.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, overwhelmed with what he’d told me. I wasn’t sure what to do with this information. Jim was already dead, so there would be no justice if Thad went to the police, and if the story got out, it might do Thad more harm than good. Still, if Jim had done this to Thad, he might have done it to other boys. Not only had he been a youth leader, but he’d coached many youth sports teams.
“Thad, I want you to talk to a friend of mine.”
He snatched his hand from mine, his eyes flashing with fear, then anger. “I ain’t talkin’ to no one. I’m not even sure why I told you.”
“He did something awful to you,” I said. “You can’t just keep this to yourself for the rest of your life. It will eat you from the inside out.”
“I ain’t talkin’ to no more counselors. I already done that, and look how it turned out.”
“Jim Palmer wasn’t a counselor,” I said. “He was a pedophile wrapped up in a nice shiny package. And if he did this to you, he’s probably done it to others.”
His anger faded.
“My friend is a sheriff’s deputy. Just tell him what you told me and let him decide what to do.”
“What if he thinks I need to go public?”
I pushed out a breath. “I don’t know, Thad. I can’t promise anything, but this secret is tearing you up. I can’t let you fester in it.”
“I want to talk to my mom,” he said, sounding like a lost little boy instead of the defiant teenager he was trying to portray.
“Do you want me to take you to the jail to see her?”
“I don’t know if I can get in. My dad won’t take me.”
“Can I use your phone?” I asked. “I need to make a call, and maybe I can find out.”
He hesitated, then nodded, and I hurried in before he changed his mind. I found the phone hanging on the wall, and called Marco’s cell.
“Detective Roland.”
“Marco, it’s me. I need to know if a minor can see a parent in jail without the other parent’s permission.”
“Well…depends on how old. Does one of the Crimshaw boys want to see their mother?”
“Yes, and it’s important. Can he see her?”
“Which one? The younger one is pushin’ it…”
“Well, it’s him.”
He was silent. “It depends on who’s on duty. He’ll have a better shot if he goes with her attorney.”
“This is important, Marco. Really important.”
“You figured something out.” He sounded hopeful.
“I found out the full truth, and it has nothing to do with Bart and everything to do with an abused child. He really needs to see her, and then I hope he’ll be willing to talk to you.”
“Where are you now?”
“The Crimshaw house.”
“Meet me at the county jail in forty-five minutes. I’ll get him in.”
“Thank you, Marco.”
“Are you okay?” he asked. “We were hopin’ to pin this on Bart. This has to be disappointin’.”
I hadn’t stopped to let myself consider it. I supposed there was some disappointment, but mostly I felt sick that Thad had gone through so much trauma. “I found out the truth, and the truth is what’s most important.”
“So what was Emily orchestratin’? And why did that man come to my house?”
“I have no idea.” But after I got Thad through this, I intended to find out.
Chapter Thirty-One
Forty-three minutes later, Thad and I pulled into the parking lot of the county jail. He’d washed his face and voluntarily changed his clothes, now wearing a clean pair of jeans and a short-sleeved button-down shirt. He was jittery as we got out of the car and met Marco in the parking lot.
“Hi, Thad,” Marco said. “I’m Deputy Roland, and I’m goin’ to help you see your mom.”
Marco held out his hand, and Thad reluctantly shook it.
“Your mother’s attorney called and asked that you be allowed in to see her, which is circumventing typical procedure, but the deputy on duty is willing to permit it.”
I wondered what strings Marco had needed to pull to make that happen.
“What does that mean?” Thad asked me.
I gave him a tight smile. “It means that your mother’s lawyer said you need to see her. And Deputy Roland talked to the people in charge of visitation, and they agreed.”
He leaned closer to me. “Is he comin’ in?”
I shot a glance to Marco, and he shook his head. “No,” I said, “he’s not. But if you want to tell Deputy Roland what happened, it might help with your mother’s case.”
Thad linked his hands behind his neck and tilted his head forward as he released a heavy sigh.
“Thad,” Marco said, and the boy looked up. “The only thing you need to worry about right now is talkin’ to your mom. We’ll sort everything else out later.”
He paused then nodded, and glanced over at me. “Can I see her now?”
“Yeah,” I said. “You can.”
We followed Marco inside and through security, then headed down the hall. Marco took charge at the front desk, and after he got Thad logged in, he pulled us aside. “You can go in alone, Thad, or have someone go in with you. She’ll be behind glass with a deputy in the corner, so you won’t have total privacy, but you can likely have a private conversation.”
“I want to go in alone.”
Marco nodded, then shifted his gaze to me. “You wait here. I’ll be back in a moment.”
“Okay.”
Thad glanced back at me, and my heart broke for him. The tough act had completely faded away, and he looked every bit a scared little boy. “Just talk to her,” I said. “Tell her how you feel.”
“Okay,” he whispered, sounding close to tears.
I almost reached out to take his hand, but he’d been violated in the worst possible way, and I wouldn’t touch him unless he initiated it.
Then he and Marco walked through the heavy metal door and disappeared from view.
I felt conspicuous in the hall next to the sign-in counter, so I moved down a few feet, surprised when I saw Deputy Taggert, the deputy I’d run into on my last visit.
“Well, Carly Moore,” he said with a grin. “If I didn’t know better, I’d guess that you’re stalkin’ your boyfriend.”
I released a chuckle and hoped it didn’t sound forced. “Actually, I brought a friend here.”
“Pam Crimshaw’s daughter?”
I lifted my shoulder into a noncommittal shrug. “You got big plans for the weekend?” I asked. “I hear there’s a lake nearby with great fishing. Are you an angler?”
He studied me and then laughed. “I see what you did there. I like you, and Marco’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. I hope you stick around.” Then he gave me a two-finger salute and turned and walked away.
Marco came out of the back a couple of minutes later and reached out his arms as he walked toward me.
I closed the distance between us, and he held me close, one of his hands cradling the back of my head.
We stood like that for several long seconds before he kissed my forehead and leaned back. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you safe and sound.”
“Me too, but I’m so worried about Thad.” Fresh tears filled my eyes. “It’s bad, Marco. So bad.”
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He stared into my face.
“I’m not sure that he wants to tell anyone else what happened,” I whispered. “His father definitely won’t want it to come out. The perpetrator is now dead”—Marco’s eyes flew wide—“but I was mandated to report abuse.”
“You’re not a teacher anymore.”
“So that absolves me? I feel a responsibility to help him, Marco. That didn’t go away because I’ve changed my profession.”
“Maybe his mother will convince him to tell someone in authority, and if he decides he wants to tell his story, I can take his statement or get Marta to do it. If he’s been taken advantage of by a man, he might feel more comfortable with a woman.”
I nodded.
We waited in the hall for another twenty minutes before Thad came out, his nose and eyes red.
“She wants to talk to you,” Thad said as he approached us.
I touched my chest. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
I glanced up at Marco, who looked just as surprised.
“Okay,” Marco said, then helped me get through the red tape of arranging a visitation.
Once I was set to go in, he turned back to Thad. “Don’t go anywhere, okay? I’m going to walk Carly back, and then I’m coming right back out.”
He nodded, looking dejected.
Marco took me through the security door and down a hall, his hand at the small of my back. He stopped outside a door, where another deputy stood waiting.
“I’ll be in the hall with Thad.”
“If his dad—”
“I’ll protect him.”
I nodded, then turned to the deputy at the door. He opened it without comment and let me in.
Pam was sitting on one side of a short desk, behind a large sheet of plexiglass. The fluorescent lights gave her a deathly pallor.
I sat down in the chair opposite her and picked up the phone on the wall, and she picked up the receiver on her side.
“Thank you for meetin’ with me,” she said.
“Of course.” I sucked in a breath, hoping I didn’t break down. I couldn’t imagine being a mother and finding out that someone I had trusted, someone I had actively encouraged to help my son, had betrayed him in the worst possible way. What would I be capable of?
“Thad said he told you.”
I nodded and cleared my throat. “I don’t think he meant to tell me. It just spilled out.”
“He’s been through so much. His daddy won’t help him.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re in here, but if Thad tells the sheriff’s department what happened—”
Her eyes flew wide. “No. He can’t tell anyone.”
“But Pam,” I protested. “Your sentence could be reduced.”
She shook her head and took a breath. “No. It will ruin Thad. Ruin him. It won’t matter that he’s the victim. People will call him gay.”
“But Pam,” I said, lowering my voice. “He is gay.”
She shook her head. “No. He’s just confused, and that animal made it worse.”
My heart broke a little more for him. Pam loved her son enough to kill for him but not enough to accept him for who he was. But it wasn’t my place to convince her, nor did I think I could.
She lifted her chin and held my gaze. “Thad told me that you helped Ashlynn too.”
“I was just so surprised by the news is all,” I said. “I knew you wouldn’t have hurt someone for no reason, and I wanted to find a way to help you.”
“There’s no helpin’ me now,” she said, wiping her face with a tissue. “But I need to make sure my kids are okay.” She looked up at me. “Will you keep track of ’em? Rob kicked Ashy out, and if Thad gets it into his fool head to tell him he thinks he likes boys…” She inhaled sharply. “He might kick him out too. I don’t know where he would go.”
“He told me he and Spencer tried to kill themselves,” I said. “Did he get help from anyone other than Jim Palmer?”
Her chin shook. “No.”
“I’ll talk to Selena and see if she’ll arrange for him to see a counselor who won’t take advantage of him.”
“You must think I’m stupid,” she said, starting to cry.
“No, I think you were a mother who put your trust in someone who was supposed to be trustworthy.”
“It doesn’t matter if I was stupid or not. He still hurt my son.”
“I know.”
“I realize I’m supposed to be sorry for killin’ him, but I’d do it again. And again.”
I wasn’t surprised that she felt that way, but the fury in her eyes made her look feral.
“Thad said you walked in on them,” I said carefully. “But you weren’t sure of what you saw at first. I found out that Melinda put their house on the market around the same time. Did you talk to her?”
She shifted in her seat. “I called Jim that night to give him a chance to explain, but Melinda answered. I asked her if her husband typically fondled young boys when he was counseling them. She hung up on me, but I heard a couple of days later that their house was up for sale. Cowards.”
Which meant Melinda had known, and instead of turning her husband in, she’d chosen to run and let him molest other people’s children. I felt like I was going to be sick.
“Are you sure you won’t change your mind about Thad goin’ to the sheriff?”
Anger filled her eyes. “You leave my son out of this. He’s suffered enough.”
“I know he has. I’m sorry.”
She wiped more tears and snot from her face. “Just make sure they’re okay. Make sure Selena helps them.”
“I will.”
She nodded and stared at me for a second. Then she hung up the phone and got up, heading for the door to leave the room.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Thad and Marco were waiting in the hall, and I looked at them both and thought, what now? What did I do for this troubled boy? I couldn’t just drop him off at home like I’d take him to the convenience store to buy a slushy.
“We’ve called Selena,” Marco said. “She’s on her way, and she and Thad are going meet with Pam’s attorney.”
“Oh,” I said, clasping my hands in front of me. Thank God for Marco. We made a pretty good team. I searched Thad’s face. “Are you good with this?”
He hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah.”
She arrived a few minutes later, and we met her out at the curb. Thad got into the car, and Selena gave me and Marco a questioning look. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Thad just saw his mom,” Marco said. “He has information to tell her attorney.” He glanced at me. “It was his decision.”
“Should I be scared?” Selena asked.
“He’s going to need a lot of support,” I said. “If he goes through with this, Pam thinks Rob will kick him out. I guess he kicked Ashlynn out of the trailer too.”
“That man was always too hot-headed,” she said in disgust. “It’s too damn bad she married him in the first place.” But for all her gruffness, she clearly loved Pam, and her kids. She got in her car and they drove off.
“Do you have time to take break?” I asked. “I need you for a bit after going through that.”
He clasped my hand and squeezed. “You have me for as long as you need me.”
We drove to the park, but we stayed in the car while I told him everything. We were silent for a long moment after I finished.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “You’ve had a hell of a day.”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing compared to what poor Thad went through.” I turned toward him. “Do you know anyone who is gay?”
“In Drum?” he asked in surprise.
“That and Ewing.”
“I don’t in Drum, but Thad is right. The town’s about twenty years behind, so while I know there are gay people, I don’t personally know of any.”
“That’s wrong,” I said insistently, hating that Thad and Spencer felt they needed to hide. “If Thad decides to stay
silent like his mother wants, Jim Palmer will keep his sterling image. But if he goes public, he’s the one who’ll suffer.”
“Jim was probably countin’ on that,” Marco said.
“Yeah. You’re probably right.”
We stayed there for ten more minutes, while he held me awkwardly over the center console, but I soaked in his strength and support. I needed him more than I’d expected. I’d let him in more than anyone else before. Even Jake. And that scared the shit out of me.
“Why don’t you take tonight off?” Marco said. “We can go to Greeneville for the night and get away.”
“I’m sorely tempted, but I asked Lula to tell Bingham I’d be working and to contact me at the tavern.”
“It’s obvious whatever Emily is up to has nothing to do with Pam,” he said. “In fact, I think you should ignore the whole thing. I don’t trust her.”
“Neither do I, but I’m not inclined to ‘let it go’ just because she’s messing with me and Bart’s sending men to threaten me. I’m not going to let him win.”
“This isn’t about winning or losing, Carly. This is choosing sanity over danger.”
I pulled away from him. “Are you serious?”
“It can at least wait until tomorrow. You’ve been through hell. You’re not expected to grin and bear it with everything.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Marco.”
“I don’t get to have a say in what you do?” he asked in disbelief. “Does that mean I can do whatever the fuck I want, and to hell with what you think?”
No, that wasn’t what it meant, but I couldn’t ask him to follow a different set of rules. “Yeah, I guess it does.”
He flinched as though I’d slapped him. “If I’m doing something dangerous, you don’t think you should have a right to express your concern?”
“There’s concern and then there’s control,” I snapped.
“You think I’m being controlling?” he asked, scooting back from me. “Are you fucking kiddin’ me?”
That was the thing. I didn’t think he was being controlling at all, but I was so scared of letting a man run roughshod over me, I found myself saying, “I don’t know.”
“Then I guess you don’t really know me after all,” he said, his voice strangled with pain.
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