Home for Good

by Nickie Nalley Seidler

  “Oh, hey, Paisley, fancy seeing you here.” The familiar voice rattled me and I turned around meeting Cage’s eyes.

  “Hey! Small world!” I smiled brightly, relaxing, seeing him in a pair of wranglers, boots, and one tight fitted black t shirt showing off everything any woman wanted to see.

  “Here with my niece, Emie.” The girl who looked to be about seven or eight, smiled huge, and held up a bear that looked to be a game prize.

  “Nice to meet you, Emie. Looks like you won a fine prize there.”

  “Uncle Cage said it was the biggest prize they had!”

  Clint coughed, clearing his throat as if he wanted me to introduce him. Quick thoughts of the Ashford night hung in the air. Ugh.

  “Cage, this is Clint, my ex-husband, Clint, my boss, Cage Bennet.”

  “Oh, the boss man. Nice to meet you, man.” Clint offered his hand.

  Cage looked him up and down and then returned the handshake. “Clint, pleasure is all mine. Take care of this lovely lady.”

  Clint narrowed his eyes at him, “Oh, I will.”

  “Alright, have a good day at the fair!” I grabbed Clint’s arm and dragged him away as I heard Cage yell to me to have a good one myself. I knew that entire interaction was my fault. From Ashford to now. If they hadn’t read that message, they wouldn’t look down to Clint. Although, he was an asshole for saying that to me.

  “What a prick,” Clint added.

  “He’s my boss.”

  “Doesn’t mean he ain’t a prick.”

  “Well, I think you’re a prick, too.” I shot back in defense of Cage.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You really don’t think you have been?”

  He shook his head and kept walking. Apparently, he didn’t agree with me on that. But, it shut him the hell up. I didn’t need the drama on a day meant for my kids.

  Livy and Jared darted our direction. The clouds in the distance seemed a little threatening to our stifling hot weather. A little rain would either cool the day down or raise the damn humidity to make it worse than it already was. The kids begged to head over to the games, so Clint led them over and handed them cash to play. Livy of course went to the goldfish. Those damn fish never survived more than a day anytime I ever won one. I wouldn’t stop her from playing though. That girl and her animals.

  Clint avoided me after my remark, typical Clint. Could never handle the truth. I took that time to grab some cotton candy for the kids while I typed out a message to Tammy about Clint. She responded right away with her sarcastic, witty remarks. I loved that woman.

  “Mommy! Mommy! I won! Look at my fish! Isn’t he so handsome?” She shoved the plastic clear bag in my face half full of water and a swimming fish.

  “Whatcha gonna name him, sweetie?”

  “I think I’ll name him Nemo.”

  “Such a unique name.” I giggled at her sweet voice.

  Jared rushed over with a basketball. “Look, Mom! How sweet is this?”

  “Well, looks like I got a pair of kids who know how to win!”

  “Is that cotton candy for me?” Livy grabbed with her little fingers.

  “Uh huh, you both share it. No fighting.”

  “Daddy says you’re mean.” Livy shoved a huge piece of cotton candy in her mouth.

  Clint looked at me and shrugged. “Oh, really? I don’t think I’m mean. Do you, baby?”

  Livy shook her head back and forth.

  “You’re the greatest!” Jared said.

  “Thank you, I’m glad you both think that way. That’s the only thing that matters to me.” I shot a glare at Clint telling him to fuck off with my eyes.

  With that, we moved on to more rides. Jared got the big kid rides with Clint, and Livy and I did the kiddie rides. It worked out spending some one on one time with each other. It wasn’t often I got Livy alone to be girls. Not often I got Jared alone either. I needed to make it a point to start giving them some one on one attention. Livy and I laughed about the silly things. I bought her a hot dog and we watched the band take way over at the stage. A group I hadn’t heard of started singing some cover songs to popular artists on the radio.

  The clouds moved in and I heard thunder clap in the distance. Livy screamed and jumped into my arms. Yup, the greatest mommy! I turned and looked around to see where Clint and Jared might be. If the weather got ugly fast, we should be closer together. Not seeing them anywhere around, I carried Livy as the thunder became louder and more frequent. Random strikes of lightening going off, making me nervous seeing others run toward the parking lot.

  “Clint? Jared!” I shouted glancing all around. Feeling the tension in my belly, my heart began to race. Where the hell were they? Spinning around in all directions I searched frantically for them. I shifted Livy on my hip, and pulled out my phone, dialing Clint. Phone went to straight to voicemail. What the hell?

  “Mommy, I’m scared. Where is Jer bear and daddy?”

  “I know sweetie.” Thunder crackled over head as the rain started to pelt down.

  “Mommy! I’m scared! I want to go home!” She cried. The rain starting to come down even more.

  “I know, honey! It’s ok! Mommy has you. Come on, let’s find shelter!” I raced toward the only canopy around. The rain soaked us both as I hurried as fast as I could. All the people scattering around us running for the same shelter. The wind gusts picked up stronger than ever, blowing things around viciously. The property the fair was held on was ginormous. We were nowhere near the parking lot. My guess was that Clint took Jared back to the car. Our only choice was that damn canopy ahead. Almost making it to the clearing, I ran so fast carrying Livy that I was out of breath. Mama mode kicked in and anything to protect my baby. Watching the sky get an eerie green color made my heart patter in my chest even more. Once I made it under the canopy I looked around in fear with everyone else.

  “Mommy, those clouds are scary.”

  “Yes, baby, they are.”

  Someone shouted, “Look at the rotation over there!”

  My head whipped in the direction they pointed and sure enough a funnel cloud was forming, sending the tornado sirens off simultaneously.

  Oh my God. My babies.

  My instinct told me I had to move. Being under this plastic canopy would not hold us any shelter for a tornado. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought that. Now it wasn’t mama mode, it was survival mode.

  I grabbed Livy up immediately and started to run again. I had not the slightest fucking clue where I was going, but I aimed for the parking lot. If Clint wasn’t there, I didn’t know what I’d do, but it was my only plan. Livy clung her little arms around my neck for dear life. My feet barely in my sandals, slipping around from the rain but, I didn’t care. I put one foot in front of the other and ran my heart out. The wind blowing around us swirling debris, made me begin to cry, tears sobbing my cheeks. I couldn’t look back. I didn’t want to know what was happening behind me. I just ran. Crying, and holding Livy as hard as I could. My breathing labored, Livy began to cry with me.

  I heard the train noise everyone described. Refusing to turn around I looked everywhere trying to find anywhere to hide under and keep us safe. As I turned around the corner toward the fence leading to the parking lot, I saw a concrete building off to the side. Almost in relief, I saw a ton of people running toward the building now with me. The wind twirling around us, debris flying, I didn’t think I was going to make it. I knew what was behind me. Hearing the crashing noises, and the wind, the wind was unbearable, making it harder to run. Out of the corner of my eye, Clint appeared running to me.

  “Clint!” I screamed out, tears streaming down my face, fighting the urge to keep going, but energy fading out leaving my breathing unstable. I was just out of breath. A horrifying feeling when you were scared, and trying to do everything to protect your babies. In an instant, Clint grabbed me, pulling me to the building as Livy’s screams reverberated within us. Clint’s strong arms pulled us further until more people began t
o run out grabbing on to Clint from the force of the wind trying to pull us backward.

  In a few feet, we collided into the building. Rushing into the basement, he hovered his body over us as we cried, hearing the tornado overhead. Like a scene out of the actual movie, it didn’t even compare to anything I watched on TV. I cried an ugly cry while I held on to my babies, Jared and Livy. “Close your eyes, it’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok.”

  The roar erupted over us, more shaking the foundation of the building. It was an old building that held equipment for the land. Knowing it was the safest option for us, I prayed. I wasn’t much of a praying kind of gal, but I prayed he’d keep us safe.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  A mbulance sirens blared through the property as the thunder rumbled off into the distance. Clint’s body shook as he stood up and looked around. I opened my eyes as the kids started to open theirs. Clint looked down at us, over us, making sure we were ok. No words were spoken. People were hurt out there. We were lucky. So lucky we made it to this building. A whole lot of people were staying under that canopy. I feared what outside looked like. Minus the roof ripped off, the building seemed intact.

  I held my kids close to me and wouldn’t let them go. They clung to me just as hard as Clint started to help others who had some minor wounds. We crept up from the basement area which now we knew was a storm shelter. The amount of debris made me cry harder. The rides were gone. Not one single ride stayed on the property. I hesitated to look behind me. When I did, the canopy was no longer there. A team of people scurried around helping the hurt.

  “We’re ok. It’s ok.” I reminded them as they were glued to my hips.

  “Mommy, there’s that man we saw at our house a while ago.” Livy pointed off to the left. My eyes met a pair of dangerous ones and I was weak in my knees. If my children weren’t there, I wouldn’t be able to stand.

  “Paisley!” Tate shouted running over to me. “Oh my God, are you guys ok? My mother said Clint was taking you guys to the fair, when I heard the radio broadcast the emergency alert, I rushed here right away.”

  “No, I’m not ok.” I cried letting go of my kids, more or less they clung to my legs while I collapsed into Tate’s arms scared and overwhelmed from the entire scene unfolded around us.

  “It’s ok.” He said into my ear, kissing my hair. He held me tightly while my body racked with sobs.

  “I have never been so scared in my life.”

  Paramedics rushed around to treat the injured with a team of volunteers.

  “Well, guess my truck is gone,” Clint said. He looked at me holding on to Tate and shook his head. “Along with everything else in my life,” He mumbled.

  “Clint, I’m glad you’re alright, and were able to keep them safe,” Tate said.

  “Yeah, I kept my kids safe, and my ex-wife. I’d be a bastard of a man if I didn’t.”

  God Bless it, he always had to rub shit in people’s faces. I hated Clint for that. Classic move on his part.

  “Enough.” I stepped between the two after they looked like they might take a punch at one another. “My children are present, I don’t need any other ones to watch over.”

  “I’m sorry,” Tate said. Giving me a sincere look of apology. “Look, I have my truck, why don’t I get you all home?”

  The kids were silent. I wasn’t sure, but I think the storm and tornado scared them to death.

  “I don’t care what you do, brother. I’m staying right here and helping the community.” Clint kicked a pile of debris and stormed off in true Clint fashion. Never once stopping to say goodbye to his kids. Kids he was supposed to take home with him tonight. I didn’t blame him for not taking them after this, but, to not say goodbye? Not fucking cool.

  “Take us home then, please.”

  Tate wrapped his around me and we all began to sluggishly walk through the debris toward his truck where many other emergency vehicles and other families were. The scene out of a legit horror movie. Scary as hell. My phone vibrated a ton in my pocket as it probably regained service after I assumed was knocked out from the storm.

  People were blowing up my phone, from my mother, Tammy, Cage, Van, Delaney, Bre, Tate, and Mrs. Watson. Jesus, the amount of messages and calls were a lot, but I was happy to know people cared about me. Even some from my new job when I have only been there one week. Cage was at the fair, I quickly tossed him a message to make sure he was safe or had a ride home. He responded he was on his way home. Thanking God we all made it out alive and unhurt.

  I put my phone away for now. My kids needed me, and deep down in my heart, I needed Tate with me right then.

  “Mom?” Jared asked.

  “Yeah, honey?”

  “Is this our Uncle? Dad called him his brother, so that would make him our Uncle right?”

  I looked at Jared, immediately to Tate and saw the pain race through his eyes. I couldn’t imagine the hurt that just hit him hearing it from Jared.

  “We’ll talk about it when we get home.” If it saved me some time to think of an explanation. To talk to Tate, see how we approach all of it. Feeling him hold me as we ambled to the truck, made me feel home. As if he let out a breath he was holding, he let go and opened our doors, getting the kids in. Then the passenger door for me. Our world was knocked off its axis today. Literally and figuratively. The last thing I needed was Tate to feel hurt anymore. Was he the Uncle or was he mine?

  Returning back to our house, Tate hung out in the living room while I got the kids settled into their beds. The day went by quickly, and they were beat with exhaustion once I got them cleaned up. It took Livy awhile to fall asleep and I stayed with her holding her tight like she requested. Her poor heart. I couldn’t imagine how traumatizing it was for her to witness such an event. Jared seemed a little calmer, and told me that Clint immediately rushed to the building while he begged to look for us. It broke my heart, he felt upset they didn’t search for Livy and I. Clint made the right choice by getting Jared to safety.

  I knew the other quarter of my heart sat in the other room, anxiously waiting to talk to me. Envisioning me molding his heart back together again, I knew it wouldn’t happen that fast. Hell, for all I knew, he wanted to speak to me to tell me we didn’t stand a chance.

  I needed a moment to relax, gather my thoughts, and mostly decompress after a day from hell. I kissed Livy’s little head and she didn’t move. Tip toeing out of her room I gently closed the door until it latched shut. Quiet like a snake, I went over to Jared’s room and made sure he was asleep, and he was. Releasing a breath of relief, I closed his door and leaned on the back of it for a moment. Closing my eyes, tears slid down my cheeks. Today was a close call. The angels above that watched over us today, got a raise or promotion or something from God. They had to. They deserved it. It ranked the scariest day of my life. Not only from running while carrying a fifty pound child through what felt like a hundred mile an hour winds, but running from a damn tornado and not knowing if we would make it. If we would survive the beast of all evil. That shook me to my core.

  “Hey, you ok?” Tate peeked his head around the corner, watching me stand against the door.

  “I just needed a minute,” I exhaled.

  “We can talk another time, I am sure you need sleep yourself.”

  “No, Tate. This distance between us kills me. I can’t wait any longer.” I stepped toward him. “Yeah, my life flashed before me multiple times today, and I wasn’t sure I would have made it to safety with Livy before that tornado swept us away. But, I will not take another minute of my life for granted. Not with you, or anyone. We’re talking tonight.”

  We moved into the living room first, Tate sat on the couch, I grabbed the wine from the fridge in the kitchen and brought the bottle to the living room with a glass as I sat across from him. He arched his brow, and shifted in his seat. His eyes never leaving mine. I grabbed the bottle and started to pour a Riesling into my glass.

  “What exactly happened today?”

  Ta
king a sip of my wine, I relaxed in the sofa. “I literally ran from a tornado with my child in my arms. That’s what happened.”

  The TV on the background had the urgent news reports replaying. It was an F2 tornado they called it. That didn’t matter to me, a tornado that caused destruction was a tornado that ripped through people’s lives. The reporter said that so far the death count was five. Five people who didn’t get as lucky as me. That rattled me, causing more tears to fall. What made them get chosen? Why were we chosen to survive? The questions were endless. There may even be more that hadn’t made it. They were still recovering people with debris that trapped them.

  My focus went back to Tate when he returned to my remark. “You’re a hero.”

  “No, Tate, I didn’t save anyone. I helped myself and my daughter get to safety. I didn’t even think of anyone else. I didn’t have time to. Everything happened so fast. And now, seeing that some didn’t make it out makes me question everything. Maybe I should have done more.”

  “Don’t think that way. You reacted in unthinkable circumstances. You put your family first and that’s one hundred percent ok.”

  “Can we not talk about this?” I gulped my wine, pouring myself another glass.

  “Ok, fine. So let’s talk about us?”

  “As far as I know, there was no us, you haven’t spoken to me, except for your stunt at Ashford.”

  “Unfair. I had many reasons to go dark and not speak to anyone,” He huffed.

  “I understand you’re, hurt. God, I know I am the cause for your pain. Please, I beg you to understand this wasn’t my intention.” I moved my wine glass to the table and slid over to the couch next to him. Setting my hand on his leg to make him feel me somehow, some way. He needed to understand me. “I never stopped loving you, Tate. There’s no denying that.” Our faces inches apart while he gazed into my eyes, searching for something I wasn’t sure what. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered every time he blinked, soaking me in. We sat there, need coursing through both of us, but I could still see the hurt flashing in his skeptical eyes. Looking at his lips trying to rein myself back and latch me in my seat. I wanted to kiss him desperately. Show him just how I felt.