“We need to be home with her. Not here in this damn hospital.”
“No. You need to take care of yourself for you and those kids.”
“Tate…I am fine.”
“I don’t want to go home, Paisley, and face reality. My brother is fucking dead.”
Tate lost control of the emotions he was holding locked tight in his heart and unleashed a silent sob that brought an ocean of tears.
“Come here, baby.” I brought him in close to me. “I’m not letting you go. Not ever. It’s me and you. It’s me and you and the kids. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone. We will make it. We’ll get through this. It’s ok.”
He rocked in my arms and I held him as tight as I could. His big, bulky, arms shook as his body released an ugly sob of cries. I have never in my life seen Tate cry, let alone cry like this. I didn’t care what men say about man cards and only pussies cry. Everybody cried, it was who they allowed to see it. Believe me if you saw it, you meant the world to that person to be able to be so vulnerable with them. I’m glad he was crying. He was mourning his brother, and his father.
A knock at the door startled us and Tate immediately wiped his face from the tears and sat upright in the bed as if embarrassed of his raw composure.
“Mama.” I gasped out with tears before she ran toward me engulfing Tate and I with her warm hug.
“I’m so sorry about Clint. I’m so sorry about everything. I was so scared.”
“I’m ok, mama. Physically we’re miraculously ok.”
“I’m so glad you’re here, Tate. You can go home, shower, eat, and be with your mom,” Mama said.
“I am not leaving her.”
Mama sat on the edge of the bed with love in those beautiful hazel eyes of hers. I had family to get through all of this with. Someway, somehow, we’d walk through the thorns to get to the beautiful flowers.
I looked down at my watch as I was alerted with a message.
Delaney: Oh my God, it’s all over the news. I am so glad you are ok.
Tammy: This news story stole a pretty damn good picture of you. I love you. Say the words and I’m there.
Bre: Holy shit, you’re on the news, and you’re ok. Call me!
Brooks: I love you, hold my brother. We’re all falling apart here. But the kids are ok. We’re letting you tell them since you’re the mom.
That was just it. We were all falling apart here.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
T ate sat next to me on the couch while the kids sat across from us. Anxiousness to see why everyone was all so upset. After my night stay in the hospital, I was released and we immediately went home where my mom was waiting with the kids for us. I knew they appreciated the one on one time with her, but I also knew, they knew something was wrong. The whole car ride home from the hospital the only thing I wanted to do was sleep my life away. I knew I needed to tell them about their daddy. Breaking their hearts, devastated me. Having Tate and my mother there, helped more than anyone could understand even though Tate and I were so fragile on the topic too.
“Mommy just spit it out. Are you having a baby? Because I want a baby sister,” Livy whined.
I smiled and looked at her with tears in my eyes. So clueless and naïve but exactly how I wanted her at six years old. She saw my tears and her expression met mine. It wasn’t often I broke down in front of my kids. Usually my backbone was tough, strong as nails.
“I have some bad news.” Tate rubbed my back. Appreciating his comfort even if I felt selfish knowing the role should be reversed.
“Mom, are you ok?” Jared asked.
“During the funeral, a bad man took mommy and tried to kidnap me. Your daddy and Tate came to rescue me to be sure I was safe.” I started to choke up not knowing if I could continue. Tate squeezed my hand. “Your daddy’s truck and the car I was in had an accident.” I exhaled a shaky breath with tears running down my face. Their eyes focused on mine so intently I shivered saying the next sentence. Envisioning Clint as I told them. “Your daddy was killed in the car accident.”
“What?” Jared said angrily, eyes painfully tearing.
“He’ll be ok, mommy. Daddy has super powers.”
I full on started to cry and kneeled down on the floor and opened my arms for them. “Come here.”
Livy quickly ran into my arms. Jared, backed away slowly. My heart shattered in two. Or maybe fifty billion pieces and I wasn’t sure it would ever be repaired.
“Jared, come here please.”
“No! You killed him!”
“Jared Lee!”
“He was coming to save you and he died! It’s your fault! I hate you!” He stomped to the ground and ran off into his bedroom and slammed the door, shaking all of us with the blunt noise.
“Did he really die, mommy?” Livy squeaked.
“He did, I’m so sorry, baby.” I held her tightly and she began to cry. I cried for her and I cried harder knowing my son thought it was my fault. Hell, it was. It pained me to go through this. Tate kept his arms around both of us. Keeping cool, he didn’t shed any tears. My mom took off toward Jared’s room, but he wasn’t letting her in.
“He’s up in heaven with papa now. He’ll be ok, mommy.”
The realization my six year old told me, broke my heart. Maybe he’d be ok, but I wasn’t. Not even a little bit. Livy didn’t understand the full extent. I knew Jared did. I got up off the ground and walked down the hall to Jared’s room.
“Hey, buddy. Let me in.”
“Go away.”
“Jared, let me in.” I begged, trying to calm myself down, I took a huge deep breath.
He unlocked the door and slowly opened it before running back on his bed and collapsing his head in his pillow. I sat on the edge of the bed, and rubbed his leg.
“Sweetie, it was an accident. I’m so sorry. I know you loved your daddy so much and he loved you so much more!”
“Well now he’s dead, who cares?”
“I know your sad, angry, scared, and it’s ok to feel all of those things. Trust me, I feel them too. It’s called mourning. However long you want to mourn, I’ll understand. There’s no time limit. I am here for you.”
“Just leave me alone.” He cried into his pillow.
“I love you, buddy.”
With that, I got up and went back in the living room. My mom and Tate sat on the couch with Livy and the TV on. My heart felt heavy. I wanted to be there for Liv, for Jared, yet the only thing I desperately craved was being alone. Dragging my feet down the hall to my bedroom, I went inside and flopped on my bed. When I opened my eyes and glanced at the night table, I saw plain as day my wedding ring that Clint placed there just days ago. As if my heart could take any more, I bawled like a baby curling into a ball. I felt the bed dip and Tate’s arms snake around my middle.
“I’m here, baby. It’s ok.”
His warm body against mine calmed me some. He held me tightly knowing that would relax me too. I felt so damn selfish for my emotions towards my ex-husband. When Clint was his brother.
I heard a bunch of pots and pans banging around so I assumed my mom was cooking something for the kids. I couldn’t stomach the thought of eating anything. My eyes eventually started to drift as Tate held me in the same spot. Visions of the accident coming in flashes as I was on the verge of sleeping. I closed my eyes tightly hoping and praying they stopped. Along with my thrashing headache.
●・○・●・○・●・○・●
The sound of the crash jarred me awake. Tate shifted abruptly in his sleep as I sat upright with heavy sweating. The lingering memories of the accident blackening my dreams in the worst possible way.
“You ok?”
I glanced at the clock. Holy shit. It was nine pm. assuming the kids were in bed, I briskly walked into the living room to see them awake, and watching a movie with my mom. Then I looked closer and saw Brooks on the floor snuggled with Livy.
“Brooks?”
He looked at me with glistening eye
s. Jared and Livy so enthralled with the TV didn’t notice my presence.
Brooks got up and slowly made his way to me like seeing me was torture, or would be both of our undoing. We were the sensitive two. Not wanting to make eye contact with me until he was less than a foot away, the vision I saw looking back at me through those beautiful cinnamon eyes that were the Watson brothers, ate me alive piece by piece. I grabbed him into a hug and it was the most powerful hug we ever shared. His body racked with sobs and I held him so tight to hopefully ease his pain even though I knew I couldn’t.
“I’m so sorry, Brooks. I’m so sorry this happened. Your daddy, now this. I can barely handle it.”
“Look at me.” He blubbered stepping back to get a good look and stared into my eyes.
“I am just so glad you are alive. That you are ok. Everyone was confused, scared, not knowing why the hell all of you disappeared from the funeral. Rumors started, and then I called Tate who informed me they were chasing you down. They saved your life.”
“I wish nobody had to die.”
“Honey, he was heading off a mountain. It was the only option. Tate told me everything. It was an accident. A tragic one. We’ll all somehow get through this.”
Tate stepped up behind us.
“Brooks.” He greeted him with a half hug.
“When do you go back?” Brooks asked like he hadn’t asked just a day prior. I hoped Tate’s answer would be completely different. The circumstances were. Every bone in my body screamed don’t leave me. Even if I knew I could do it alone, I didn’t want to.
“I’m figuring that out.”
I let out a breath. “It’s late. I need to get the kids to bed.”
“Pais, let them finish their movie. They need it.” Brooks glanced at me.
“I’m afraid of keeping them home from school.”
“Tell the school to fuck off. They just lost their daddy and their papa within days.”
“You’re right.”
“Tell me how I can help?”
“I’m going to need so much help. I have no job. At least I’m not sure I want to go back there. Believe me you’ll be able to help. But right now, I only worry about my babies.”
“We’re all here for them, and you.” Tate said, squeezing my shoulder.
“I can’t believe I actually slept most of the day away.”
“You needed it.” Tate said.
My mom interrupted our three way chat. “Hey, guys.” She smiled to them before turning her focus to me. “Hey, honey. I have taken the time off and plan to stay here at least a week to help you.”
“Mom, I love you. That means so much to me.”
“You have a wonderful support system.”
I looked around at them all and then my heart dropped again. For one, Clint was missing from the three amigos. Then, Belinda ran through my mind. If they were all here, who was there with her?
“Where is your mama and why is she alone?”
“Her request. She has her sister Betty there though,” Brooks said.
“Ok, I’m glad someone is.”
“They’re going tomorrow to set up arrangements. She hasn’t been able to leave.”
“Oh, um, tell her if she wants my help…”
“She knows, sweetheart. She knows,” Brooks said.
“I’m going to head off to sleep so I can be awake tomorrow. I’ll just sleep in the guest room, like usual unless you want me on the couch?” Mama said.
“No, guest room is fine. I’ll wash everything for you tomorrow.”
“Don’t be silly, it’s just me.”
I got an alert on my phone.
Tammy: I’m coming over after I drop the kids off in the morning.
My mama was right, I really had the best support system.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
“Y ou can’t keep blaming yourself. It was an accident.” Tammy held me a little while longer.
“It was an accident, but it was because of me the accident happened.”
“Yes, you’re right. Clint would have taken his life willingly to be sure you were safe. He would have done everything in his power for you. Any one of them Watson men would have.”
I cried a little harder. Lord I couldn’t imagine if it were Tate or Brooks. Even it being Clint tore my heart and shattered it.
Belinda made the arrangements and found a will that Clint had made up. He had quite a bit of money in his life insurance fund. I wasn’t expecting it to go to me, then with a whole separate one for the kids that they can access upon their eighteenth birthdays. How was Clint so much more prepared than I was for my death? Life kept me so damn busy I never once thought to make a will yet. Now, it bumped to a high priority.
“Tammy, would you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“After I take my kids on a big vacation to spend quality time together, would you help me make a will?”
“Of course, sis.”
Tammy gathered her things before escaping out of the door after hugging me numerous times to be sure I was ok. Bless her heart. She had the largest heart to let everyone in and did it with pride. I let the kids stay home the rest of the week. Hell was an understatement for everything we had been through. We still had the funeral for Clint to get through, and they needed time to breathe. Nobody could study with all this on the brain. I barely functioned making breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My focus kept going back to that night.
I sent Tate home. He was handling some business at work, because technically his leave was over. I prayed he stayed, but I knew he didn’t have a say over that. I also know if he didn’t go home, he might drive me slightly mad. Even if he meant well with his overly protective nature. Although his smile pierced me anytime he tried to distract me from the truth of the situation. Leave it to Tate to try to make light, or try to change the way it happened. There was only one way it happened. This tragedy would forever be a moment in our life. One we wouldn’t ever forget.
Actually, after playing the night in my head over and over, I couldn’t comprehend how Tate must have felt. He witnessed it. I mean, I’m sure he didn’t see the actual thing, because a crash of that multitude was insane. So many things could have gone wrong. I mean, the car could have slid off the cliff, I could have plummeted to my death, Tate could have been driving, Clint could have chosen not to hit us, and the tires could have blown. I mean so many things. If I sat there and went one by one, it would probably be best I didn’t. I’d drive myself mentally ill.
Well, as if I weren’t already there. I let my kids still sleep. Well, Livy was up, but I sent her back to bed. She didn’t argue. I should be doing the same. My phone rang, and I noticed it was Delaney.
“Hey.”
“Oh my God, how are you?”
“Ok, hanging in there.”
“Are you going to be coming back to work?”
“Well, I kind of no longer have a boss.”
“Don’t be silly, there’s plenty here for you to do.”
“Did you know that Cage was married with a family before she ended it essentially causing him to snap?”
“Wow, no I didn’t, he never mentioned them.”
“Interesting.”
“I’m so sorry what happened. Van is pretty shaken up, but not as much as I had anticipated. The rest of the company practically put up a shrine. It’s pretty sad.”
“Yeah…” I didn’t want to let her know I wasn’t sad. Well, not about him. Not one bit anymore.
“Look, I hope you come back. You’re a good addition to our team. Think about it ok?”
“I will. Hey, thank you, if you hadn’t warned me about his suspicious behavior I’m not sure I would have escalated my research and contacted the police.”
“I’m just glad you’re ok.”
“Thanks, Delaney. Take care.”
I ended the call. Not thinking twice, I knew I wouldn’t return. I could never go back to that place and ever think of anything besides Cage. It just would leave a permane
nt mark as if it hadn’t already. The lasting effects from his whack job sticking me in a coffin and kidnapping me all together with intent to kill me, already fucked with my mind. A trauma I might need therapy from. I knew I’d need therapy from.
My phone wouldn’t stop blowing up with reporters wanting a story on it and I have rejected them all. Dude had a family, and if I protected anyone it was family even if he was a psycho. I wouldn’t do that to his kids. And the sweet woman who came to see if I was ok.
Tate’s ringer went off and I answered the call.
“Hey?” I thought you were at work.
“I have some news. Can I stop by?”
“Tate, I swear to God, if it’s bad I don’t want to hear it.”
“Let me come over. I’ll bring food.”
“Food is good. You know the way to my heart.”
“I love you, too. See you soon.” He chuckled.
I peeked in on the kids who were playing quietly in their rooms. I guess they knew better than to be loud and rambunctious with everything going on. Frankly, I’d prefer that noise over the deafening silence. Life needed to get back to reality. I hated the mourning process. Numbness took over everything and as much as I wanted to cry it out, I couldn’t anymore. Well, I could. The sadness hung heavy like a weighted blanket suffocating me, but being around family helped the most.
We still had his funeral and I wasn’t prepared for it. I grabbed the laptop from the side table and powered it up. Distracting myself from reality, I researched some beach side resorts to escape away to. Then I thought maybe the mountains. Vacation seemed silly, but I needed time with my babies. Even if it was a couple months from now. The pictures I scanned page by page made me wish I was there in them right this very second. It was hard to choose knowing I needed relaxation, yet the kids would want fun.
“Hello?” A sexy voice came traveling down the hallway by the backdoor.
“In here.” I yelled back.
Boots clunked down the hall until he stood in full uniform in front of me with a bag of what looked to be Southern Comfort Kitchen. The best damn stuff around.
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