by Donna Jay
After a minute of agonizing over letting Anita badmouth her or doing it herself, Katie spelled it out.
The further she got into the story, the wider Gillian’s eyes grew, and the more her jaw dropped.
“Let me see if I’ve got this right. Some chick, Cherie, threatened to violate you, and Anita held you down?”
A vice like grip squeezed Katie’s chest, making it hard to breathe. She was no longer scared of Cherie or Anita, but she feared the devastation she experienced that day would never go away.
“Correct.”
For what felt like forever, Gillian held her gaze. Unable to read her expression, Katie squirmed in the driver’s seat.
Finally, Gillian spoke. “I don’t know if I should feel sorry for you or be afraid of you.”
The words punched Katie in the gut. “I’d never hurt you, Gillian. Not intentionally.”
“I know, I meant afraid of how your mind works.” A small smile pulled at the corners of Gillian’s mouth. “I’m kind of in awe of you, actually.”
“How so?”
“The way you lured her in and pounced, that took cunning. And I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“Talking her into joining the gym. Seeing her there had to have been tough.”
“Not as hard as pretending to like her at the picture theatre.”
The memory of Anita badmouthing Gillian in the bathrooms came back to her. As tempted as she was to tell Gillian, she’d meant what she’d said. What would be the point? Sure, it would show Anita in a different light, but it would also hurt Gillian’s feelings, and Katie only ever wanted to protect those.
“I guess I’ve ruined your budding friendship with Anita.”
“No.” Gillian shook her head, coppery curls bouncing around her shoulders. “She did that herself. I believe in trusting my gut, and I started to get a bad feeling about Anita shortly before Grandpa died.”
Again, Katie held her tongue. There was no need to tell Gillian how cutting Anita had been about her grandfather when he was on his deathbed.
“I can read body language,” Gillian said, “And it didn’t take long to figure out Anita’s as false as my grandpa’s teeth.”
The comparison made Katie chuckle.
“I accidentally bumped into her one day. She dusted off her arm as if her skin was on fire.” Gillian flicked a stray lock of hair off her face.
“Well, you are pretty hot.” The words tumbled out before Katie could stop them. Shocked by her boldness, she blushed furiously.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Gillian gave her a killer smile. “But the way she did it was more like she thought I had something catchy…like, let me see.” She tapped her lip. “Lesbianism.”
“Can you blame her?” Katie rolled her eyes like a drama queen. “It’s a terrible disease.”
“Do your parents know?”
“That I have a disease?” Katie joked, even though she knew exactly what Gillian meant.
Her expression neutral, Gillian held her gaze.
Katie squirmed. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what? Like someone avoiding a question?” Gillian’s expression softened. “Or someone deeply in the closet?”
Katie exhaled a resigned sigh. “They don’t know any of it. They don’t know I’ve fallen for you. They don’t know I was attacked. They don’t know I’ve paid back two of my attackers. They don’t know shit about me. I go to the gym, I work hard, I pay board. End of story. I’m the good daughter. Their perfect girl.”
Wide-eyed, Gillian’s throat worked as she swallowed. She put up a hand, palm out. “Back up. What did you say? The first part.”
Like hitting rewind on a cassette player, Katie rewound the words in her head and repeated the most important part. She leaned across the console and took Gillian’s hands in her own. “I’ve fallen for you.”
A wide smile crinkled the corners of Gillian’s eyes. “I think you’re pretty special, too. My parents and my cousin will be supportive of us.”
“His girlfriend won’t be,” Katie mumbled.
“I’ve already figured that out, and right now she’s the least of my worries. I can’t control who Paul dates any more than he can control who I date.” Gillian squeezed her hand. “I’ll give you time to tell your folks about us, but I won’t wait forever. We shouldn’t have to hide what we have from our loved ones.”
In that moment, it struck Katie she had a damn sight more to lose by staying in the closet than coming out. It was time to be true to herself and this gorgeous woman lighting up her car with her beautiful green eyes, riot of fiery hair, and radiant smile.
“I’ll tell them,” Katie said with a decisive nod.
“Let’s celebrate with a coffee.” Gillian cracked open the car door, and Katie followed in her wake.
With two steaming mugs in hand, Katie led Gillian to a corner table and set their cups down. Rather than sit opposite her, Gillian pulled the chair around and sat beside Katie. When her leg brushed against Katie’s, sparks of electricity shot through her body as surely as if she’d touched an electric fence.
“You okay?” Gillian asked around a smile.
No, my body’s on fire. This is all so new to me, I don’t know what to do.
“Want me to move?” Gillian grinned. She knew exactly what effect she was having on Katie.
Feeling a little daring, Katie narrowed her eyes playfully. “Don’t you dare.”
“Well, since we’re practically joined at the hip, why don’t you tell me about the others?”
It took Katie a minute to process what Gillian was asking. When it sank in, she considered playing dumb for all of…two seconds.
If Gillian expected honesty, that’s what she’d get. “Cherie was the instigator. Karma already bit her in the arse.”
Gillian quirked an eyebrow. “Karma-Katie?”
“Correct. I tied her up with her apron strings and threatened her with a rolling pin.”
Gillian’s eyes went wide. “You were going to bash her head in?”
“No!” Katie screeched.
Shit! She’d hoped she wouldn’t have to spell it out. Taking a deep breath, Katie set the record straight. “I kind of re-enacted what she threatened to do with the dildo.”
“You were going to put it…”
“No!”
A man glanced in their direction, waited a beat, then seemingly satisfied everything was okay, he went back to reading his paper.
Inhaling Gillian’s honey shampoo, Katie cupped her hand around her mouth and spoke into her ear, “It was just a threat, you know, so she’d get a taste of how I felt.”
Nodding, Gillian sat up straight. “What’d she do?”
Keeping her voice low, Katie told her the rest.
The doorbell jingled, and a young couple entered the café, hand in hand.
“That’s not her and her boyfriend, is it?” Gillian asked, her eyes sparkling with humour, and a touch of something else. Admiration?
“No.” Katie shook her head. “She worked at a café a few doors down from where I work.”
“Worked, as in past tense?” Gillian asked.
“Yay, she quit the following day.”
“I’m not surprised.” Gillian took a sip of her coffee. “Most bullies are cowards when they haven’t got their mates to back them up.” She nailed Katie with a look that made her anxious.
“Do you regret what you did?”
It would be easy to lie, but Katie couldn’t do that, not to Gillian. “I’m sorry I put someone through what I went through, but I can’t say I regret it. I know what I did was wrong, but it felt right at the time.”
“I get that.” Gillian nodded slowly.
“You don’t hate me for what I did?” Katie asked, daring to hope they had a chance.
“I don’t condone what you did, but I don’t condemn you either. Who am I to judge you when I haven’t walked in your shoes?”
Gillian might not have walked in h
er shoes, but she knew what it was like to be bullied. Against her better judgement, Katie kept pushing. “You know what it’s like to be picked on, but as far as I know you’ve never retaliated.”
“Words, words, words.” Gillian flicked her fingers as if trying to get rid of a pesky fly. “They bounce off me. But if someone physically assaulted me, I don’t think I would take it lying down.” She gave Katie a kind smile. “What happened to the last of the trio?”
“You don’t miss much, do you?”
“Not when it comes to someone I care about.”
The declaration was so heartfelt, a lump of emotion clogged Katie’s throat. “What happened to Tracy is as much of a mystery to me as what she did that day.”
Gillian frowned. “What she did was wrong, Katie. End of story.”
“If only it was that simple. She was part of it and then she wasn’t.” She met Gillian’s eyes. “She let me go, and I thanked her by breaking her toe.”
The freckles on the bridge of Gillian’s nose joined together when she scrunched up her face. “I think I’m going to need a refill to hear the rest. Want one?”
“I’ll have water thanks.”
While Gillian got their drinks, Katie gathered her courage. She hadn’t spoken so openly about that day since she’d told Simon.
Fresh drinks in hand, Katie took a sip of water then launched into her story.
“After what happened, I shut myself off from everyone. Before meeting you, work and the gym were as far as I ventured. And, ironically, that put me in the path of two out of three of my tormentors. I guess it’s only a matter of time before Tracy pops up.”
A thoughtful look crossed Gillian’s face. “If she’s even in town.”
“Good point.” Katie put her glass down.
“I could ask Anita,” Gillian said.
“Then she’ll know you’re onto her and that you’ve been talking to me.”
“Exactly.” A mischievous smile curved Gillian’s lips.
As much as Katie wanted to return it, a knot twisted in her stomach. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I don’t think Anita’s right in the head, and I don’t want to make things difficult for you if she continues to date your cousin. Or worse, for you to get hurt.”
“I knew it!” Gillian folded her arms across her chest.
“Knew what?” Katie narrowed her eyes.
“No matter how often you profess not to be, you’re a good person.” She nudged Katie’s elbow.
An electrical current shot up her arm. “How do you do that?” Katie rubbed her bicep.
“What?” Gillian screwed up her face.
“Make me tingle all over with barely a touch.”
“Like this?” She put a hand on Katie’s thigh, under the table.
Heat shot up her body. She glanced around the café, sure the few diners were looking at the girl with her ears on fire.
“Relax.” Gillian removed her hand. Katie instantly missed the warmth of her touch.
“No one’s paying us any attention, and as for Anita…”
“Who?” Katie shook her head trying to clear thoughts of Gillian’s hands on other parts of her body. God, she’d be a puddle in next to no time and probably embarrass herself in the process.
“Once Paul discovers Anita’s a homophobe,” Gillian continued, “she’ll be a thing of the past.”
Anxiety surged through Katie. The fewer people who knew about the attack, and counterattacks, the better.
“Please don’t tell your cousin what went down between me and Anita,” she pleaded. “The fewer people who know, the better.”
“Says ye of little faith.” Gillian patted the tip of Katie’s nose. “What you shared with me won’t go any further. But you can rest assured, Anita is about to be a thing of the past, not just for you, but Paul as well.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m not going to do anything, but there’s plenty I can say without implicating you that will have Paul kicking her to the curb faster than you can say Pavlova.”
Great, now Katie had a craving for the light and fluffy meringue dessert.
“Come on, let’s get out of here, my butt’s sticking to the seat.” Gillian let out a squelching sound as she stood.
Giggling, they exited the store bumping shoulders.
Outside, Katie tipped her head back. A few clouds dotted the sky, and the sun warmed her face. Life was good.
Chapter 22
The next week passed without incident. Katie wasn’t entirely surprised when she didn’t spot Anita at the gym, but it didn’t put her mind at rest either. She could’ve always asked Gillian where she was, but she didn’t want to open that can of worms.
After her workout, Katie drove home as fast as legally possible. Excitement made her want to gun it, but the last thing she needed was a speeding ticket.
The minute she got home, Katie grabbed a backpack and stuffed her togs and towel inside. Her mind flashed to Gillian’s fair skin and how quickly she burned.
“Mum,” Katie called out on the way from her bedroom to the bathroom. “Can I borrow…”
“Don’t talk to me through the walls,” her mother yelled back.
Smiling, Katie changed route. “Mum,” she said in an inside voice. “Is it okay if I take the bottle of sunscreen?”
“Where to?”
“The beach, I told you last night.”
“Oh right, with your friend, whom I’m yet to meet.”
“What am I meant to say?” Katie huffed out a breath. “Hey, my mum wants to meet you.” Actually, that didn’t sound too bad.
“No.” Her mum put a hand on Katie’s shoulder. “But you’re welcome to bring your friends home. You don’t have to run off all the time as if we’re some kind of crazies.” Her mother hung her tongue out and went cross-eyed.
“Okay, okay.” Katie chuckled. “If we’re not too late back, I’ll bring her around.”
“It’s ladies’ night at the club, so your father’s taking me out, but I shouldn’t imagine we’ll be much later than nine.” Her mum pulled her into a hug. “Sunscreen’s in the middle drawer of the bathroom vanity.” She kissed Katie on the top of the head. “Take care on the roads.”
Even though she’d left school months ago, the ritual of a hug and a kiss before leaving the house remained the same. Katie loved it as much as she dreaded it would all change the minute she came out.
Shaking off the sickening thought, Katie made her way back to her bedroom. She tossed the sunscreen into her backpack and pulled her togs back out. She was too old to change in the backseat of a car like she had as a kid. After putting her one-piece on, Katie slipped her blue sundress over top and slid her feet into a pair of jandals.
***
Right on noon, Katie pulled to a stop at the address Gillian had given her. Weeping willows cast shadows over a huge front yard.
The door opened, and Gillian appeared in the doorway. She looked as gorgeous as ever wearing a yellow dress with capped sleeves and a sweeping neckline. The guy beside her had long hair pulled back in a ponytail, saxophone hanging around his neck.
Once he closed the door, Gillian came bounding down the driveway, black case swinging at her side, coppery curls bouncing around her shoulders.
With her heart going pitter-patter, Katie bounded out of the car and popped the boot.
“Thanks so much for picking me up.”
“No problem,” Katie replied honestly. She’d drive to Auckland to pick Gillian up if she asked her to.
She pushed her backpack and the beach umbrella to one side, making room for Gillian’s saxophone. “How’d your lesson go?”
Gillian placed the black case flat on its back. “Great. I finally nailed a few of the major notes.” She nudged the esky Katie had pilfered from her father. “What’s in there?”
According to her dad, it held a six pack perfectly, but Katie hadn’t packed any alcohol. Being around Gillian was intoxicating enough.
“
Lunch.”
Gillian climbed into the passenger’s seat and buckled up. The scent of her honey shampoo infused Katie’s nostrils. She inhaled deeply, breathing her in.
“I hope you like vegemite and lettuce sandwiches.” Katie fired the car to life.
“Depends.” Gillian pursed her lips, and Katie had a horrible feeling she should’ve made peanut butter sandwiches instead.
“On what?” Katie held her breath.
“Did you put cheese on them too?”
Phew!
“Of course.” Katie exhaled the breath she’d been holding. Vegemite, cheese, and lettuce was one of her favourite combinations. She’d figured if Gillian didn’t like cheese or lettuce, she could pull them out. She would’ve been screwed—and shocked—if Gillian had said she didn’t like vegemite. That wasn’t so easy to scrape off.
Next stop; Gillian’s. The house looked deserted, doors and windows closed.
“Back in a sec.” Gillian climbed out of the car.
A young girl bouncing on a trampoline next door waved. Gillian waved back then disappeared inside.
True to her word, she was back within a few minutes. She tossed her backpack in the backseat and buckled up.
“No one home?” Katie asked, pulling away from the curb.
“Nope, Saturday sport. They’re in Pahiatua. Tyler had a game away from home.”
“What does he play?”
“Cricket.”
Katie’s mind flashed back to her days as a soccer player. For five years, she’d loved the sport, then Mother Nature had endowed her with breasts and along with that came many wisecracks from her flat-chested teammates. Comments like ‘knock yourself out,’ followed by snickers, became too much and she quit. That was the year she turned twelve.
A bird swooped in front of the car making Katie duck. “Damn, I hate it when they do that.” She put a hand over her racing heart.
“Yeah, they’ve got all that clear blue sky to fly around in, powerlines to sit on, but, no, they have to fly in front of cars. What’s that about?” The smile in Gillian’s voice was infectious.
“I have no clue.” Katie shook her head.