by SR Jones
Damen isn’t a guy trying to get into a girl’s pants and make her feel special by using words he doesn’t mean. In fact, if he were the kind of man to use those words lightly, he would have by now surely? If only for an easy life.
No, him saying it now is, I believe, a slip. A glimpse of the deeper feelings he daren’t admit, not even to himself.
“Fuck,” he says on a moan, and the word and the sound go straight to my clit.
I start to touch myself again, fingers stroking the tender nub as he roughly fucks his fist.
It only takes a few more minutes before he gives a grunt and starts to come. Thick ropes of it splash his chest and abdomen before a final spurt dribbles over his fist.
I find my own release, intense, but also strange. Lonely almost, as I suddenly crave his physical touch.
As soon as it’s over, I go to him, climbing onto the bed beside him, resting my head on his chest. One arm wraps around me, heavy and warm as he kisses the top of my head.
Tears fill my eyes and I focus on not letting them slip out. I don’t want him to know I’m crying. Can’t bear him to know how much I’m feeling in this moment. This is so right. We fit perfectly.
I want to shake him and cry out, love me, love me, love me.
I don’t. I have my pride after all. I also still have my larger plan and my need for revenge. I can’t show too much weakness, because then he won’t take my desire to bring Costas down seriously.
I am serious.
Deadly so.
CHAPTER TEN
Damen
It takes me a couple of hours to get into Stamatis’ private email. He’s changed his password since the last time and increased his security, but I’m not easily beaten.
There’s no communication with Costas, which is good, because if Stamatis were communicating with the fucker behind my back, it would mean I’d have two enemies to bring down.
None of us have told Stamatis what happened yesterday with Stella. We aren’t sure we can trust him. I don’t know why, but I’m having such a hard time trusting Stamatis on this. Maybe because he’s always forgiven Costas his many screw-ups, and he’s always had hope his son will one day be at the helm of his business empire. That’s not an easy dream to give up.
As I scroll through the emails, I see one that catches my eye. It’s to Allyov, Andrius’ old boss. The wily Bratva Pakhan who wants to go into business with us.
I open it, wondering why Stamatis is communicating with Allyov on his private home email and not the work one.
The first few words make my blood run cold.
Sergei, my friend.
I am communicating via my personal email for now, as frankly I do not know who I can trust within my organization at the moment. Damen has run into trouble with my son, Costas, and things are in flux.
My heart sinks. Fucking run into trouble? No, his piece of shit son kidnapped his daughter, had one of his men orally rape her, and was responsible for the death of Stamatis’ first love! I have always respected my boss, but right now, I do not. With trepidation, I read on. Already determined that if I have to take down Stamatis to save Maya, I will, no matter how dangerous.
I have made some grave decisions about how to deal with this, and I come to you first, before I talk to my own men even, in the spirit of cooperation and respect for your seniority.
My son is, sadly, not worthy. I know you and I have had conversations in the past about our shared difficulties with our children.
That’s right. I remember Andrius saying something about Allyov’s son having to go to rehab. Seems Stamatis and the Russian have a lot in common.
Unfortunately, what my son has done cannot be fixed or overlooked. I am sharing some extremely sensitive information with you now, but I know you will keep this close to your heart as a sign of the bond and trust between our organizations moving forward.
I smirk and lean back. Translation: you breathe a word of this and our deal is off, and we are at war. I brace myself for what comes next.
I have two choices facing me. Either I keep a place open for my son, despite what he has done, and go against my own men. I have no doubt in my mind that Damen, and most likely Alesso and Markos would fight against me if I tried this. Then of course, it would possibly involve your man, Andrius. Things could get messy very fast.
Or I make moves to lock my son out forever, and let him live, but I hear he’s still seeking vengeance, so I fear this won’t work.
Finally, I can put a bounty on his head. I cannot kill him myself, this I cannot do. But I can give the word to others to do the deed. This would bring me into conflict with the biker gang he is rumored to be involved with and with the Pappas family.
I pause again, so Stamatis knows something about the biker gang. Seems we’re all playing our cards close to our chests.
Lefteris might be an issue due to the fact that his son, Yannis, is apparently in on this with Costas. As you can imagine, news of this was a shock, and so far, I haven’t shared it with anyone else. It came from a very reliable source however, an informant I have within the Pappas organization.
Either way, whatever I do leads to a war. Either way, if we go ahead with our venture, you might get caught up in this. I would understand if you walk away. I still request none of this information goes any further, and of course we can work together in the future. However, you need more facts in order to decide as to whether or not to pursue our joint enterprise.
I have made the decision to cut my son out and put a bounty on his head.
For a moment, I have to stop reading. My heart is hammering, and a wave of relief washes over me, making me take a deep breath and pause until I can focus again.
Holy hell. He didn’t choose his son. He did the right thing and put Maya first, the child who never tried to harm him, or anyone for that matter.
I go back to reading, eager to discover more.
I cannot overlook what my son did to Maya or her mother. His actions broke my heart and disgusted me. He has sullied our family name forever, and he has tainted all of us with his despicable actions.
Furthermore, Maya is my daughter, and she is married to one of the best men I know. A man with more loyalty in his little finger than my son has in his whole body. I want Damen to keep the marriage going. I am going to talk to him and tell him not to end it once it seems safe to do so. Damen will become my next in line, and he and Maya, and any children they may have, will be my heirs. Along, of course, with my son Mikhalis.
This works well for you if you decide to stay onboard. Damen and Alesso know Andrius. I am sure he’d be more persuadable to do the work you require of him if he knows they are part of this.
Of course, I need to speak with Damen, but I cannot see him turning an opportunity like this down. It also makes Maya legitimate as I am going to make Damen my de facto heir and second.
This keeps her safe, and I know Damen wants that. He’s fallen for her, whether he knows it or not, and this way he gets everything. He gets it all, and I get a man I trust with my life as my second. It means when they have children, my blood will still inherit all I’ve created.
We can still build our empire and are stronger together than apart. You and I have a massive reach between us, and we can take on our enemies old and new, but whatever you decide, we are still friends. You have my back, Sergei, and I have yours.
I will call you next week so we can talk, but as you must understand, right now my heart is heavy.
At some point in the next couple of days, I will talk with Damen.
Please let me know as soon as you come to a decision as to whether or not we will continue upon this path.
Yours,
Stamatis.
Guilt hits me fast and hard. He trusts me, like a son, and I’m spying on him. Fuck.
I close the email and get out of his files, taking care not to leave a trace of having been there.
I shut my laptop and think. My heart is racing, my mind too. He wants me to have kids, w
ith Maya. He thinks I love her. Everyone seems to think I love her … except for me. Hell, deep down, I think it too, don’t I? It’s what scares me after all.
This though, staying together forever. Having kids. Wow, talk about pressure. I’m not stupid; I get that this is an amazing opportunity. The chance to make something of myself within this life. Something no one can take from me, but it means committing to this marriage. Making it real. Having kids. The thought makes my skin itch. The idea of passing on generations of tainted genes makes me want to run.
I want Maya, but I don’t want us to be forced together into something we’re not ready for.
On the other hand, I don’t wish to let her go. The idea of her with someone else makes me want to break something. So why does it matter if Stamatis’ offer comes with strings attached?
The issue is, if I can’t tell her I love her, she won’t stay anyway. Then all of this will disappear, and I will most likely see Alesso crowned the next in line.
Fuck, I wonder how my friend will take it if Stamatis does make me his second? I think he’ll be pleased for me, but I can’t be sure.
This is so huge it’s making my head spin. I need a drink. Heading out of the study, I make for the stairs and pause when I hear Maya and Stella talking. The door is ajar, and their voices carry.
“So … if he doesn’t love you, leave. You deserve better.” Stella’s tone is firm, no nonsense. I want to go in there and tell her to mind her own damn business.
“I think he does love me. I just think he can’t bring himself to believe it or say it because he thinks he’s cursed by his family and his genes or some such to be an utter bastard, when in reality, he’s the best man I know.”
Maya’s words hit me hard. The best man I know.
I need to man the hell up and sort out what’s going on inside. Put me in a war zone with a gun in my hand, and I’m good to go. Ask me to tell a woman I love her, and every ugly bit of my past rears its head, whispering to me that I’ll screw this up.
I am not my father, though, and maybe, just maybe, it’s time I proved it.
Stamatis trusts me. Maya trusts me. Alesso always has trusted me, and I have never let him down.
You let your mother down, though. Women are more needy. You’re not the sort of guy who can give a woman what she needs, not long term. You’re too controlling, too hard, not able to talk about shit.
Aaaaaand just like that the negative voice is back, crawling through my mind and dropping its poisonous crumbs of doubt.
I want to punch something. Then I see a card on the bookshelf along the landing wall. It’s Maya’s therapist’s contact details.
Therapy. Could I? Not her, not the same woman Maya sees, conflict of interest much? But someone else. Can I do it? Go and talk this shit out?
I know if I asked him to, Alesso would talk it through with me, but he’s too close to it. Too entangled in the past, the present, and the possible various futures.
He’s a huge part of my life, and I realize with shocking clarity that the words he said to me at my grandmother’s funeral are true. He is my brother. In every way that counts, Alesso is my family.
I finger the thick business card, and consider my options. I can either lie to Maya. An absolute non-starter. Never tell her the words she craves, therefore fucking things up between us for good. Or … I can go and figure my head out and get to the bottom of how I am feeling and what I want.
A mobster in therapy. Then I think, well if it’s good enough for Tony Soprano, it’s good enough for me.
I’m still smiling as I hit the downstairs hallway, only to see Andrius storming out of the kitchen, face like thunder.
“That fucking piece of shit, Costas, has reached out to one of mine,” he says through gritted teeth.
Oh, God. Not Violet.
“He sent a card, all the way to England, to Justina. Her partner received it and is very upset. He’s dead. I don’t care what your boss wants or doesn’t want. I’m coming out of retirement especially for this cunt. He’s on my radar now.”
Holy shit, Costas must have a death wish. It’s one thing to mess with me and do what he did. It’s quite another to go after someone innocent close to the deadliest man in this whole game.
It doesn’t make sense. Why would he do it?
Then it hits me. He wants Andrius to go for him, because he thinks his father will still, ultimately, save his life. And that will ignite a war between Stamatis and Allyov.
Costas has overplayed his hand in the most extreme way, and he’s signed his death warrant in doing so. He underestimated Stamatis’ sense of duty. The feelings he had for Marina, and the feelings he probably has for his daughter.
He underestimated how much Stamatis valued Alesso and I.
He’s underestimated Maya, and how she’d react to his appalling treatment of her. She’s not hiding away licking her wounds, but talking about revenge, at any cost.
The biggest mistake he made, though, is to underestimate the utter unholy hell Andrius will unleash on him for dragging Justina into this.
I put my hand on Andrius’ arm to halt his march to the front door. He turns deadly gray eyes to me.
“I’ve got your back on this. You need to take this to Allyov, and let me take it to Stamatis. Things are getting set in motion. I can’t say too much, but Costas is going down. Big fucking time, but we are facing more than simply him. We will be up against the Nyx MC, the bikers he’s been hanging with, and those guys are hardcore. And if this goes south, possibly the Pappas family will be looking for war too. This isn’t only about me, you, Maya, and Costas. This is huge.”
Andrius gives a terse nod of his jaw. “Okay. I will talk with Sergei, and you will go to your boss. But mark me, whatever the higher ups decide, Costas is a dead man walking.”
Of that I have no doubt. The only thing I don’t know is … who is going to kill him?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Maya
I decide to go and check on Stella for the first time today. It’s been a few days now since she got thrown out of a moving vehicle, and she’s doing better. She’s still in pain from the beating her body took, both at the hands of the men who held her, and at the hands of the tarmac she hit on her tumble.
My mind is filled with two majorly competing thoughts. How much I love Damen and wish he felt the same way, and how much I hate Costas and want him dead. Not healthy!
I rap on her door, and it opens almost immediately. I startle when I see Alesso standing there. He gives me a smooth smile. “Hey, Maya. I’m just leaving.”
He moves past me out of the room, and my gaze follows him before I turn back to Stella, brows raised to the heavens. She covers her mouth to stifle the giggle, and I shut the door. Oh, Lord. I know what that giggle means. Stella only does it when she likes someone. It’s a behavioral tic she’s had since her teens and not grown out of yet.
“I thought you said Damen was the hotter one?” I perch on the edge of the bed and watch her face as she composes herself.
“I did. But, one—he’s taken.” She gestures to me, smirks, and rolls her eyes. “Sooooo taken. Two, since spending some time with Alesso, I’ve revised my opinion of his hotness. I mean, he’s gorgeous, anyone can see as much, but I think he’s a lot sexier now that I know him a little. But…” She shrugs. “He’s only a friend. He’s been looking out for me since I’ve been here. Making sure I’m healing, bringing me food, and keeping me company for an hour or so most days. Nothing major. I think he’s a good guy is all.”
I’m not so sure myself. My early opinion of the men had Alesso as the softie, and Damen as the hard-faced enforcer, but I think Alesso is harder in many ways. Certainly the way he reacted to the men in the homeless shelter showed me a side of him I didn’t particularly like. Never mind the way he’s talked about me in his chats with Damen. Yeah, if Alesso is spending time with Stella, I doubt it’s purely out of the good of his heart, which worries me a little.
She’s vulnerable right no
w. And she isn’t from this world. It was bad enough for me, everything that happened, but I get this world. Stella is from a thoroughly upstanding, professional upper-class background, and she is nice. In a way men can take advantage of.
I decide to warn her, but not today. Today, I’m too relieved to see her giggle and smile. I want her healed, and then I want her sent away somewhere safe.
Her parents don’t know what’s happened yet. We agreed to tell them she was coming to see me and had a minor accident. We said she’s hurt her ankle and is staying with me for a few days. We’ve spent many nights together, so it isn’t something unusual, and they seemed to buy it.
When they see her face, they’re going to lose it.
“So, how are you and Damen getting along?” She nudges my arm.
I look at the ceiling for a moment before taking in her shrewd gaze. “Okay. I think he’s grappling with his feelings, and I have a sneaking suspicion he might be coming around to actually acknowledging he is falling for me. I won’t hold my breath, though. In some ways, I fear the moment he realizes it is the moment he panics and runs away.”
“God, men. They can do the bravest things, but ask them to talk about feelings and they go to jelly. My dad is the same. Drives my mom crazy. She genuinely doesn’t think he even understands what he is feeling, he’s so disconnected to that side of himself.”
She considers me for a moment. “Would it be so awful to stay with Damen even if he doesn’t tell you he loves you? I know what I said the other day, but I’ve been thinking about it. He’s a good man, and he can keep you safe. I’m worried sick for you.”
This is the reason I love Stella. She’s truly one of the most selfless people I know. She’s been taken, beaten, and abused, all because of me, and here she is, worrying about me over herself. From when we first met, I recognized a truly good soul in her. She’s wrong about me and Damen, though. Despite it being the hardest thing I’ve done, I will walk away if he doesn’t love me.