by Scott, S. L.
Saved from getting any deeper by the doorbell, I announce dinner. “Pizzas are here.”
With full bellies, we start reading through the contract. Alfie is playing a video game while sitting next to me.
Rivers says, “We can make this work, but you’ll need help. It’s good money, so Tulsa and I talked already, and we’ll give up a portion of our share to hire someone.”
Alfie asks, “Hire someone for what?” Raising his hand, he sits up eagerly. “I’ll help.”
“You’ve been a big help around here already, Alfie, but we’re talking about help with you. Your schedule. Your school. If I sign this contract, I won’t always be able to pick you up from school or read you books at night.”
The controller is set aside, and he clings to my arm, leaning his head against me. “I just got you. Don’t leave me.”
To say he’s adapted well is an understatement. I wrap my arm around him and kiss the top of his head. “I play music for my job, and sometimes that requires travel. That means I won’t be here, in my house, with you. But it’s only for a little bit of the time. You can’t travel all over when you’re in school and who will watch you at night when I’m on stage?”
“Me. I’m a big boy,” he says, pouting. “You told me so.”
“You are, buddy,” I reply, catching Rivers’s troubled gaze. He and Tulsa know me better than anyone. They know what I’m thinking. Music is in my soul, but this kid is my flesh and blood. After all those years stolen from us, if I leave now, that may damage us even more.
Alfie asks, “Why can’t I go with you?”
“We play in a lot of places that kids can’t hang out in, and to make an album, we will have to fly to LA for a month or so.”
“What’s LA?”
“Los Angeles. It’s a city in California, which is a long way from Texas.” I can’t do it. I can’t leave him, especially not when I’m trying to win custody of him.
His tiny shoulders slump even more. “Everybody leaves me.” The words punch a hole right through my heart, and then he follows with another. “Is it because I said I like you?”
Pulling him onto my lap, I try my best to reassure him. “No, that’s not it at all.” I don’t know how to sugarcoat, and I think he’s had enough of that in the past. “I love you, Alfie. I want what’s best for you because you are the most important thing in my life. If it’s not good for you, it’s not good for me. We’re a team, buddy. Your last name may be Barnett, but you’re still a Crow.”
Green eyes peer up at me. “What is famous?”
“Where did you hear famous?”
“Uncle Tulsa.”
I scowl at Tulsa. A kid doesn’t need to worry about that shit. Fame is hollow. Music has depth. I don’t need fame to find success. If I can make a living, I’m good. “It’s when everyone knows who you are. I don’t need fame.” I shoot Tulsa a glare and then turn back to Alfie. “I need to be able to give you what you need.”
“I don’t need anything. Promise.”
“You know we leave this week, but you won’t even notice I’m gone because you’ll be with Hannah and Grandma. Then I’ll be back just in time to pick you up.” It’s really more for me that I hug him, but if he feels an ounce of how much I care about him, I’m winning.
Tulsa stands, an idea firmly planted in his mischievous eyes. “Rivers is right. Together we have enough in this offer to keep us going for the next year. Even if we take say twenty-five percent to hire someone we trust, someone to help out, we’re still banking.”
Alfie bolts upright with a matching look in his eyes. He’s going to be so much trouble if he turns out anything like Tulsa. I can’t help but laugh, though. And then he says, “Hannah.”
My laughter is gone, not liking her name being dragged in out of nowhere. “What about Hannah?”
Whipping around to look back at me, he tilts his head and scrunches his face, and then it dawns on me too. “Hannah.”
My eyes dart to Rivers, who nods, and then to Tulsa, who has a shit-eating grin on his face. “The kid’s on to something,” he says. Walking around the coffee table, Tulsa takes Alfie and swings him onto his back. “Come on, little monkey. Let’s give your dad and uncle time to talk. Anyway, I want to show you how to style your hair so all the girls will go nuts for you.”
“I don’t want girls to go nuts, Uncle Tulsa.”
“I second that,” I say, sitting up. “He’s got some time before we need to worry about that.”
Tulsa laughs. “Fine. I’ll race you out back.”
Alfie replies, “I’m going to win again.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Who’s the kid here? Fuck, I’m lucky for my brothers, and Alfie’s lucky to have them as uncles.
The screen door slams closed behind them, and Rivers says, “Hannah’s a good idea.”
She always was.
“He loves her. We can trust her to take care of him. I don’t get the impression she’s working right now.” He asks, “Do you think she’d consider the job?”
“She’s been looking for a job. I need help. This could be either a brilliant idea or a disastrous mistake.”
“Sounds like a match made in . . .” He doesn’t finish that sentence. He’s starting to pick up on my feelings for her, feelings I can’t afford to risk expressing out loud.
She’s not a cruel person, but she and her aunt still want to win custody. “I’m not sure if it’s wise to involve her. It could be used against me in the custody case.”
“Parents work, Jet. They can’t fault you for needing help. Your hours are different from the usual parent, but you’re there when they aren’t.”
“It’s an interesting idea. Maybe this is my shot at proving I can be all he needs while keeping her involved in his life. Eileen Barnett wants me gone, but the more family the better when it comes to surrounding him with love.”
“I know dick about kids, but he seems so . . . happy. Yeah, he misses his mom, but is it normal for him to have just coped so well with coming here? He’s a good kid.”
“He is. Doing this could screw up everything.”
“Signing this deal could make all the years of hard work pay off. It wouldn’t be a matter of paying the light bill or getting the truck fixed. It would be a matter of do I buy the house with the view or the one with the swimming pool. This could change everything in a better way for you and Alfie.”
“He trusts and loves her. She loves him. This would show the judge that I’m willing to put his interests ahead of my own by putting our differences aside and working together.” I stand and lean to the side to catch sight of Alfie and Tulsa in the backyard playing. “If Hannah would be willing to work with me to take care of Alfie, we could record the album and release it on Outlaw Records nationally. This could be the best thing that ever happened for us.”
“Exactly.”
I’m not naïve. I know the risk I’m taking. “Man, the possibility of our dreams coming true hinges on one thing . . . or should I say person—Hannah.”
13
Jet
Our knees bump together under the table, but she’s always the first to move away. I persist, liking this game of cat and mouse we’re playing. I finish my last bite of bacon and notice her plate is still more than half full.
By looking at Hannah’s plate, I start to wonder if she has a small appetite or just doesn’t like to eat in front of me. I don’t know why chicks feel they aren’t allowed to eat. I’ve never once heard a guy bragging about banging a bag of bones. “Are you going to eat that?” I ask, pushing away my empty plate.
“Probably not.” Her voice is quiet this morning, and I don’t think she’s looked me in the eyes once since she arrived.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Her voice pitches defensively.
“Maybe you’re hungry.”
“I’m perfectly fine.”
Apparently . . . “Are you uncomfortable?”
“No,” she scoffs,
waving her hand as if I’m ridiculous for even suspecting such a thing.
“I’m not hungry, and I’m not uncomfortable, Jet.” Her eyes still haven’t met mine. “I’m wondering why I’m here.” Bam! I’m leveled to a complete halt when she finally looks my way. “Breakfast on exchange day isn’t part of the deal if that’s what you’re wanting.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Why am I here?”
“I wanted to talk to you about Alfie.”
“That could have been done over the phone or through text.”
Her defenses are sky high, making me doubt my decision to ask her to work with me, much less to breakfast this morning. “I thought it would be easier to talk face to face.”
“What do you want to talk about?” she snaps.
“Maybe we should talk when you’re in a better mood.”
“Don’t you get it? I’m not going to be in a better mood. I never planned for any of this.”
Rolling my eyes, I sigh. “Tell me about it.”
My comment strikes her, not like the quip I intended it to be but as a missile that hits its target. She leans forward and that ire in her eyes softens into something kinder. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me. I realize you’ve been dealing with more of a shock and adjustment than I have.” Her gaze disappears into the distance, and she exhales, releasing the tension that was keeping her shoulders firmly squared since she sat down. “I’m just dealing with a lot, and I’m tired.”
“You can talk to me, Hannah. You think you can’t, keeping up pretenses like we’re on opposing sides, but we’re not. We both want what’s best for that little boy. That’s being on the same side. As for how that’s done, we’ll figure it out. In the meantime, the woman before me is not the woman I’ve been getting to know. Your sadness has changed.”
“To what?”
She looks at me as if I can solve her problems with a simple answer. I can’t, but I can do my best. “Distraught. You’ve been itching to leave since you got here, but I don’t think I’m causing the pain you’re dealing with.” I dare to slide my hand across the table until the tips of my fingers are touching the tips of hers.
Her eyes watch and then stare as we sit in silence. When those beautiful eyes finally meet mine again, the fire is gone, but the smoke remains. “My aunt and I have been fighting all week. Before she was testing my allegiance, telling me I might need to go back to Dallas, but this morning she told me I should.”
“What? No.”
“What do you mean no?”
Shit. “Alfie needs you . . .” I don’t want her to go. She’s the only thing that’s keeping this situation sane. I’m a fool for even considering what I’m about to do, much less doing it. Have I let my feelings get so caught up in her that I’ll risk exposing them to take her side? Yes. “So do I.”
“So do you, what?” Surprise followed by amusement fills her questioning eyes, reversing her bad mood. “You need me?”
“Yes. That’s why I asked you here.”
“Oh. Ummm . . . I’m not sure we should talk about this. I told you before that we can’t be together. I mean, just because, you know, we like it doesn’t mean we should.” Her fried eggs suddenly become her whole world; her attention dedicated to the cold food as she rambles. “It would be complicated.” As she moves her eggs around with her fork, I spy blue eyes under long lashes taking me in. “And I’m not sure how to—”
I put her out of her misery. Signaling between us, I say, “I didn’t mean to talk about us. Us.”
“Not us?”
“No.”
Her hand is pulled back, and her head drops down in humiliation. “God, I’m such a fool.”
“No, you aren’t. I’m sorry if I made you feel—”
Snapping upright, she’s quick with the reply, “No, you didn’t make me feel anything.”
“Okay . . .” This girl’s got a chip on her shoulder like none other I’ve ever seen. It protects her from the bad, but I’m starting to wonder if it keeps out the good as well. “As you know, we fly to LA today, but before I go, I wanted to talk to you about Alfie. We signed the contract.” If I’m not mistaken, despite all the combative snips that have come my way, I see joy in her expression. It must be exhausting to be here some days. Holding onto anger seems to be her specialty, but she can’t hold onto it around me for long. The cracks in her armor are growing, which benefits me. I prefer her smile more than her scowl any damn day.
That little piece of joy I found a moment earlier disappears. “You’re leaving Alfie? You can’t come into his life and then vanish like he doesn’t matter.”
“I wouldn’t. Thanks for the thinking the best of me, though,” I say, letting my words drip with sarcasm.
“What do you plan to do then?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. Also because Alfie will say something if I don’t.”
“Just tell me, Jet.”
“He lost his mother. I don’t want him to feel like he’s losing me as well. I also don’t want him to lose you. To add to the complication, I don’t want him flying back and forth all the time.”
“Neither do I.”
Here goes everything . . . “This trip is only a few days, but when it’s time, I’ve been told we’ll be out for three weeks to a month to record. We’ll play them the songs we currently have, and if they approve of those for the release, the recording sessions will be during the sixty day period to add the last four to six.”
“You just said you weren’t going to abandon him.”
“I’m not. We’ve come up with an idea. What if you were to take care of him full time?”
“What?” Her head shakes as if the idea is incomprehensible, then she asks, “How does that fix the problem of you leaving? That’s exactly what you’ll be doing to him—leaving him.”
I’m smart enough not to tell a woman to calm down when she’s fired up. I slip on my kid gloves and proceed with caution. “You and Alfie would come to LA.” Mouth open.
Eyes wider than the plate in front of her.
Cogs turning so fast that I expect to see smoke come out of her ears.
Still so damn beautiful. I’m almost tempted to kiss that stunned look right off her face, but I like my dick the way it is—not kicked in—so I stay on track as much as I can. “There’s only two months of school left. I looked into a homeschool program for this year that will keep him on track to start back in the fall.” I can’t take all the credit for that one. Rivers mentioned homeschooling, but I did the research.
A furrow anchors her brow, and I can’t read her. “I don’t even know what to say. I can’t afford to take off to LA to follow your dreams.”
“You would be there to take care of Alfie.”
“I have no money, Jet.”
I hate using information against her, but in this case, I take the chance it will allow her to see the opportunity instead of the negativity. “You said your aunt told you to go back to Dallas. I assume you don’t have a job anymore, maybe not even a place to live. I’m offering you a job, Hannah. I’ll pay you a salary and your expenses. You’ll have your own room and time off. When I’m not recording or doing business, I’ll be with Alfie.”
Hands are waving. It’s always quite the sight when she gets flustered, and I’ve thrown a real curveball at her this time. “Wait. Wait. Wait. You want to pay me to watch Alfie?”
“Yes.” As the idea settles between us, I wait anxiously to hear what she says next.
“You know I would take care of him for free.”
“I do.”
“But I need a job, and if I get one somewhere else, that means I can’t watch him whenever I want, only on my time off.”
“That’s not good.”
“No, it’s not. How much are you offering to pay?”
“I was thinking we could figure it out together.”
“The minimum is three weeks? The maximum is one month?”
“I can’t guarantee the timeline until I learn
more from this trip.”
Staring toward the front door of the diner, her thoughts aren’t anywhere near here. That she’s still here, though, is a good thing, and that she’s considering the idea even better. “Apparently, I owe my aunt a thousand dollars for my share of the bills and rent the past couple of months. The free ride was only temporary. This would allow me to pay her back. Will the pay cover what I owe and next months’ bills?”
“Wait, back up. Why do you owe your aunt money?”
“For my share of living expenses.”
“But you came here to help Cassie and Eileen with Alfie.”
Exasperation comes in the form of a sigh. “I know. Look, Jet, I know you think she’s horrible, but Cassie was her life. Alfie is a tie to that life. She loves him and is scared he’ll be taken from her forever—”
“By his father, someone else who loves him.”
“I get it. I do. I promise you I do. It’s been part of the problem. If I defend you at all, she thinks I’m on your side.”
Sides? There are those fucking sides again. “We’re all on Alfie’s side. We all want what’s best for him.”
“I know, and I agree with you. Eileen, on the other hand . . . forget it. As for this job, if I could afford to, I’d do it for free.”
“You do a lot for Alfie, and he notices. He’s actually the one who suggested I ask you.”
Waves of brown hair fall to the side with her head resting in her hand. “I’m not sure what to say, Jet.”
“Say yes.” Yes. Yes to the job. Yes. Yes to me.
“Why do you want me? I understand how it benefits Alfie—having both of us beats a stranger. But you’ll be stuck with me—in the mornings, cramping your nights, bugging you on your days off. You’ll be stuck with me all the time if I’m living with you.” As if it just sinks in, she says, “Oh my God. You said I’d have a room. We’ll be living together?”
Well, she doesn’t look disgusted, so I’ll take the compliment. “I’m getting an advance, but not enough to rent two places.”