by Scott, S. L.
“Why did you break up?”
I knew this would come up, but I had foolishly convinced myself we’d have more time together before dredging up the past. I can’t control what happened, but I can control the outcome. “Hannah, are you sure you want to discuss this?”
“I think I need to.”
Seeing her reaction and the questions in her eyes, I need to give her anything that will give her peace. “I have a million excuses, but the bottom line is, I screwed up. I thought we were casual. She thought we were more serious.”
“You cheated on her?”
I knew she’d jump to conclusions. The muscles in her back stiffen, causing me to hold her a little tighter. “I wasn’t fucking anyone else.”
She tries to get up. “What were you doing then?”
“I’m not letting you walk across this room in anger over something you’re imagining in your head.”
“How do you know what I’m imagining?”
“Because of the bullshit you were fed about me.”
“Are you sure it’s bullshit?”
“Yes, it’s all bullshit. You can ask me anything, and I’ll tell you the truth. Not me pleading my side, but the truth.”
The tension in her body eases, and she looks me in the eyes again. “Then tell me the truth, and I’ll listen.”
I love the way her hands lock together behind my neck, and when I lean in to kiss her, she lets me, and she kisses me back. I just got her. I’m not ready to lose her. “She broke up with me, accusing me of a bunch shit I didn’t do. Came at me saying she didn’t want to waste her time with someone she didn’t trust, someone she didn’t love. It was heavy, considering how new we were as a couple.”
“How long were you together?”
“A month, a month and a half at best. I liked her. We had fun. She was wild, which worked for me at that time in my life.”
I see the question on her face, the worry to give it a voice, to release it between us. Once she asks me about love, I’ll have to answer. I cared a lot about Cassie, but I’m not so sure, thinking back, that it was love. How will Hannah react to that? I hope I can keep that locked away just a little bit longer for both of our sakes.
She kisses my forehead and cradles my head to her before slipping off my lap. “You don’t owe me the details. I just wanted to understand the relationship a little more.” She walks to the kitchen and stands on the other side of the bar. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Letting me talk about whatever I need.”
I walk to the opposite side of the bar, resting my hands on it. I can see the fog of burden lifting in her eyes, and a smile appears. “I’m sorry about your cousin. I’m sorry about Cassie passing for Alfie. I’m sorry I hurt her. I never intended to.”
“I don’t want to keep talking about you and Cassie. When I’m with you, I’m betraying her. I’m betraying my aunt and my family. I just needed a few minutes to mourn her passing.” She sniffles, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “But I’m here. I’m here because I’ve come to know a different man than how you were described. You’ve been nothing but good to me, Jet. That’s why I struggle. That’s why I’m conflicted inside.”
“I—”
“You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I see who you are. I see who you are with Alfie when you think no one is watching. I know you’re a good man. Just some days are going to be tougher, days I’m fighting with my aunt over . . . everything. So it’s nothing you can fix. I may have been mourning Cassie’s death, but I’m also mourning the loss of trust from my family while trying to figure out what is the right thing to do for Alfie. Now I’ve gone and gotten myself involved with you and . . .” She smiles and comes around. With her hands on my middle, she lifts on her toes and kisses me. “If you didn’t realize already, I have feelings for you.”
“So no regrets about last night?”
“Regrets?” She laughs. “God, no. I can’t wait to do it again.”
Bending over, I scoop her into my arms and head for the bedroom. “We have a few hours to kill. Want to burn some daylight?”
“I was thinking some moonlight too.”
“Have I told you how amazing I think you are?”
“No, tell me.”
Tossing her on the bed, I pull my shirt off and drop my jeans, kicking them off. When I climb on the bed and hover over her, her legs open for me without even asking. Fucking hell, she’s a sex goddess. “Exquisite.”
19
Hannah
Thirty minutes.
I have thirty minutes to recover from the best sex of my life.
There is no recovery. I will never feel as whole as I do when we’re bonded physically and emotionally during sex. Jet Crow is gifted in all ways, but damn, he sure knows how to please a woman.
Unfortunately, I can’t lie here all day or I would. I get moving and take a shower. I’m dressed and fixing Alfie’s snack just as he comes barreling in. “Hannah. Hannah. I got to lead the line today. All the way from the classroom to the cafeteria.”
“Fantastic. You’ve wanted to do that all year. What changed today?”
He drops his backpack in the middle of the living room and runs to me. Taking a cracker with cheddar on top in hand, he replies, “Lucy Minken was sick today, so I got to do her job and mine.” He shoves the cracker into his mouth while I get him an apple juice box to help wash it down.
I look up when Jet walks in, my breath catching just enough for him to notice and for Alfie not to. My cheeks heat, and I want to burst like a bottle of champagne full of happy bubbles.
His gaze dips to Alfie, and he asks, “What’s your job?”
“I get to sweep under the table at lunch,” he replies excitedly.
Jet’s expression sours. “What the fu—”
“Isn’t it great that schools give kids responsibilities?” I say, laughing on the inside from his reaction. “And teaches them to clean up their messes?”
“Yeah, sure. Responsibility,” he mumbles. He’s smart enough to let it go. Rubbing his eyes, he looks so tired. He detours toward the hall. “Except for two hours on the plane, I haven’t slept in almost thirty-six. Mind if I lie down for a bit?”
“No, of course not. Me and the kid have some homework to do anyway.”
Alfie asks, “You have homework too?”
“Research, buddy. We’ll work while your dad rests.”
“What kind of research?”
“Nothing big. Go to sleep. You’ll need the energy later.” This time, I give him a wink.
Jet moves to come back to me—maybe to kiss me or hug me, touch me in a way he can’t around Alfie—but stops and nods down the hall. “If you need anything—”
“We’ll be fine. Go rest.”
“Thanks.”
And there is one of the sweetest smiles that I love. How could anyone question his devotion to Alfie? Many parents would have opted out of the duty of collecting their child when so tired. But he went. That’s love.
I carry the plate for Alfie and situate his stuff on the coffee table, then pull my laptop from my bag and set up on the couch. Alfie gets busy on his workbook, and I log in to my account to finish my college application.
It’s that annoying hour when it’s too soon for dinner and too late to snack, too soon to go to bed and too late to nap. It’s been two hours since Jet went to sleep, and I’m tempted to take Alfie to the park or somewhere to let him run around when someone knocks on the door.
I’m quick to my feet to answer. I open the door to one of Jet’s brothers. I remember seeing him when they played live.
“Uhh,” he starts, clearly confused by why I’m here. His lighter eyes and hair contrast the dark of Jet’s, but his skin has that same golden brown even in winter. He might be shorter than his older brother, but if he is, it’s not by much, and his muscle mass makes up for it. “Is Jet here?”
“Yes.”
His hands go to his head and then blow out. “Whoa, I was not
expecting you.” Offering his hand, he says, “We haven’t met, but I’m Jet’s brother, Tulsa. You’re Hannah, right?”
“Yes,” I reply, starting to feel a little ridiculous mimicking myself. I shake his hand and then open the door a little wider. “He’s sleeping, and I was watching Alfie—”
“Alfie’s here?” he asks, leaning to the side to peek around me. A huge smile, his emotions written all over him, another contrast to his brother, shines when he spies Alfie. “Alfred, my man.”
“Uncle Tulsa!”
Alfie runs to him. “Guess you two have become friends.”
“Fast friends,” Tulsa replies, swinging Alfie onto his back.
“Tulsa’s my uncle,” Alfie adds, reaching to touch the roof of the front porch.
“He is,” I say, smiling. I’m impressed by how close they’ve become in such a short time. My father was never there for Alfie, and he doesn’t have any other male relatives nearby. He deserves this family, this love and acceptance. “You can come in if you’d like.”
He turns and sticks two fingers in his mouth, an earsplitting whistle following. “My brother,” he says, shrugging.
The third Crow brother catches my eyes when he gets out of the SUV and strides up the sidewalk with the phone to his ear. By the time he reaches the porch, he looks back and forth between the two of us, trying to figure out the situation, and then smiles at Alfie. “My man. I didn’t know we’d get the pleasure. How are you, buddy?”
“I got to be line leader today, Uncle Rivers.”
“No way,” he replies acting shocked and feeding the story. I’m kind of falling for all three of these guys because of their sweetness for Alfie.
Alfie laughs, delighted in the attention. “Way. And if Lucy is sick tomorrow, I get to do it again.”
“Whoa! Fingers crossed that Lucy is si—” His eyes dart to mine, but when he sees my displeasure, he adds, “Makes a speedy recovery.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Nice save.”
“Rivers Crow and you’re Hannah. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Oh?” Wonder if Jet has talked to them about me.
“We haven’t met, but I’m sorry for your loss.”
I’m kind of taken aback by how thoughtful he is. “Thank you. Jet is sleeping, but you’re welcome to wait inside if you’d like.”
Tulsa tells Alfie to duck, and they move inside. I follow with Rivers behind me who shuts the door. Alfie is set on his feet, and Tulsa walks with purpose down the hall. Yikes.
Rivers starts laughing when Tulsa barges into the back bedroom and shouts, “Get up, fucker.”
“Fuck, Tulsa,” Jet yells. “Get the fuck out.”
I’m not quick enough to cover Alfie’s ears. His eyes go wide, and he looks at me. I say, “Do not repeat those bad words ever. Got it, kid?” He nods his head, making me smile. “Good boy.”
Rivers has helped himself to a juice box. When I eye him, he says, “Alfie’s a great kid. It’s been fun getting to know him.”
“His mom did a great job with him.”
“And you. Jet’s talked about how much you’ve done for him.”
Pulling Alfie close, I wrap my arms around him as he leans his back on me. “He has?”
“All the time. We’ve heard a lot about you.”
“I’m curious what you’ve—”
Tulsa runs through the living room and out the back door, calling behind him, “C’mon, Alfie. Your dad is a bear today.”
Just as Alfie runs out the door, chasing Tulsa, Jet comes from the dark of the hallway. Good grief, he does things to me, things that I hope I can hide from his brothers—things like my throat going suddenly dry and causing me to shift as my body becomes a traitor to me and an ally to him.
And then he winks, and my hands go to cover my heating cheeks. I want to run to him, to cling to his bare chest and chiseled abs, to run my fingers through his sex god hair, and to kiss him until we’re falling into bed again. The best part is he’s looking at me the same way.
Head tilted down, he’s rubbing the back of his neck, hiding that smirk, but eyes directed at me, he’s taking me in head to toe. I just wish I was wearing something cuter than a pair of old ripped jeans and a baggy T-shirt.
I almost forgot Rivers was here until he clears his throat and says, “Yeah, um, so I’ll go check . . . I’ll just go out back.”
As soon as the door closes, I run to Jet and mount him. With my legs wrapped around his middle and his hands squeezing my ass, we kiss. We kiss until our eyes close and time disappears. We kiss until our tongues mingle and our hearts beat faster. My back hits the wall, and he readjusts me, but just the feel of being pressed against his hard muscled body makes me want so much more. Through panting breaths and hands running through his thick hair, I whisper, “You turn me on so much.”
His unshaven cheek scrapes my cheek as he runs his nose along the underside of my ear. “You smell so fucking delicious. You think they’ll miss us if we disappear for a while?”
My legs tighten around him, and I wiggle, wanting the friction but needing the payoff. “Yes.”
The back door squeals in protest when it opens. “Is it clear in here?”
Tulsa.
Jet and I exchange the same sexually frustrated look. I drop my legs, and he tugs the hem of my shirt back into place. After stealing a kiss, he smiles before calling out, “All clear.”
He starts to walk away, but at least I get a good view of his ass in those jeans. I slap it, and when he turns back in surprise, I shrug.
“Paybacks are hell, Hannah.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
The guys and Alfie file back inside, and Rivers says, “The band’s coming over.”
Jet starts the coffee pot. “What are you talking about? You guys are already here and need to leave. I’m just kicking it with Alfie and Hannah tonight.”
I see the way they’re looking at him and then at me, trying to figure out what’s going on. Considering I’m not even sure what’s happening between us, I wish them luck. If they find out, maybe they’ll let me know.
In the meantime, I like whatever this is that’s happening. Our relationship is growing, evolving into something new, something without anger or emotional bullets waiting to be fired.
When I look at Jet now, I see that guy I met so long ago, the guy I would have fallen for if I had stayed. At the time, that’s why I had to go.
Last night, I’m glad I stayed.
Rivers says, “You really need to get some food in this place.”
Tulsa is popping grapes, my grapes, he took from the colander near the sink. “The Resistance. They wanted a place to jam, so they’re coming over later.”
I’m stuck on the fact that I don’t have much money left, and he’s eating all my grapes when my mind rewinds, and I understand what he actually said. Wait, what? I do a double take. “The who?”
“Not The Who,” he says, laughing. “The Resistance.”
“The band? They’re coming here?”
Jet says the last part in unison with me, but I have a feeling it’s for different reasons.
Alfie jumps up and tries to catch a grape with his hand. “Who’s resistance?
Tulsa replies, “It’s a famous band.”
“Like you guys?” Alfie follows up.
Rivers rubs Alfie’s head as he walks by. “Band. Yes.” He bends down. “Are you gonna play guitar with us?”
“I’ve been thinking about it,” he says, rubbing his chin, which is stinkin’ adorable. “I like drums.”
Tulsa’s arm flies up. “Yes, I win.”
Rivers rolls his eyes and adds, “The only time you play drums is by default, Tulsa. Hey Alfie, you hang with me, and I’ll show you how your dad taught me to play.”
Alfie turns to Jet, who’s nearby. “You teached Rivers?”
“Taught,” Jet corrects with a smile. “I taught both my little brothers how to play.”
When it comes to Jet, he hung the
stars, according to Alfie. At first, I thought it was just because he was happy to have another male around since he’d always been around women. But it’s not that. I see the love he has for him already. The way he looks up to him, not just because he’s taller, but because he truly admires him.
Tulsa and Rivers have the same admiration in their expression when they look at their big brother. But Jet makes it really easy to admire him. He’s kind, generous, and attentive. And if his brothers are anything to go by, Alfie is going to be a fine man, too.
Alfie’s happiness is contagious. He lights up a room without any effort. He’s just him, and we all love him for it. But it’s not just him who’s lucky. It’s me. I’m not treated like an outsider or the enemy. I’m treated like a part of the family.
This could have so easily been Cassie. They would have loved her and accepted her into their clan as they’ve accepted me. It makes me sad to think about me reaping the rewards because of the struggles she went through.
20
Jet
“I’m getting drunk.” Tilting my head back, I look for the stars between the clouds. Hannah, who’s sitting on a lawn chair next to me, laughs loud enough to get everyone’s attention, causing me to laugh. Rolling my head to the side, I say, “You’re getting drunk, too.”
“I already am.” Her eyes are glazing over. Her hands are not covert like she insisted we be this morning. Instead, she’s been rubbing the top of my leg, her fingers occasionally dipping between my thighs, getting precariously close to touching a part of me that I won’t be able to disguise much longer behind this guitar.
The conversation picks back up around the fire we built to keep us warm this chilly March night. It’s nothing compared to the fire pit in Ojai, but it’s served us well many times before.
Alfie went to bed hours ago, and we have each checked on him several times since.
Hannah invited her friend, Dave, over. I’ve heard a little about him, and he seems nice enough. Plays guitar, which is cool. Friendly and fits in with the group without handholding from Hannah.