by Scott, S. L.
As I pay homage to the blissful perfection of this connection, I know it’s not just the sex. That was just the spark that kindled the flame. Together, we’re a full-blown blaze.
I used to worry about getting burned. Now I realize that I’m the one who handed him the match because Jet Crow ignites my soul on fire.
* * *
I want to run to him, to wrap my legs around him and kiss his face silly. It’s only been a week since I’ve seen him, but I still want to jump him . . . I mean, jump on him.
I don’t.
Alfie gets first dibs as I stand back and watch a son jump into his father’s arms. I see the way Jet embraces him, the way he closes his eyes just to take him in. I see the smile that’s big and too handsome for every woman in the world to not want him. That’s what the journalists write about him.
The Crow Brothers aren’t just taking the music world by storm, but they’re also winning women’s hearts at every stop of the tour. It’s a smaller tour to launch their album, but Outlaw Records is ready to plan a large stadium tour for next summer. That means another album, but I plan to leave this summer wide open for him. I can’t wait to tell him the news.
With Alfie on his back and his suitcase in hand, he comes up the steps and kisses me on the porch. “Hey,” he says against my lips with that smile still on his kissable lips.
“Hey.”
He cups my face and leans his forehead against mine. “I missed you.”
“I missed you,” I reply with a matching goofy grin. “Welcome home.”
We’re not inside the house, but just standing there holding each other with Alfie’s arms wrapped around both of our heads. Jet says, “It’s good to be home.”
After lugging the case inside and showering, Jet sits at the bar across from me while I wait for the lasagna to cool on the stovetop behind me. Alfie’s out back with his uncles, jumping on the trampoline, so I take advantage of the time alone and ask, “What do you think?”
“About?”
“The fame.”
“The women?”
I reach across and smack his arm while he laughs. “The fame. All the attention and the women, yes.”
Catching my hand before I pull back, he kisses the top of it. “I don’t think of them at all because I have you at home.”
Swoony. Resting on my elbows, I say, “I have news.”
“Yeah?” I love that he always is genuinely interested in everything I have to say.
“I got accepted back into college for the fall semester.”
“That’s fantastic, baby.” He gets up and comes around to hug me. “Congratulations.”
I love getting lost in him and his scent. He’s more spearmint than nicotine these days just like he promised. Maybe I’m becoming more spearmint instead of cinnamon as well.
“Want a beer to celebrate?”
“I’m good. Go ahead.”
Grabbing a bottle from the fridge, he sits back down and rigs the cap off using the underside of the counter. “To you, Hannah.” After taking a large swallow, he asks, “What are you going to study?”
“I did my basics before quitting last time, so I’m going right into my major. I’ve decided on social work.”
The grin that appears gives me all the approval I need. “I think that’s great.”
“After everything, I feel like I have something to offer, something to give back. But I won’t make much money.”
“The first time I saw you, I could see your heart right there on your sleeve. It’s what drew me to you.”
Swoony all right. Although I love what he just said, I have to give him a hard time. “That’s what drew you to me? My heart?”
“Okay, your killer little body, beautiful face, hair that I couldn’t wait to mess up, and makeup I wanted to kiss right off your face.” He gets up and comes around, pulling me by the waist right into his arms and spinning us around once and then again. “And your heart that I swore right then and there to protect. You, the all-encompassing version of you, drew me like a bee right to your honey.”
“You sure know how to sweet talk a girl, Jet Crow.”
“I’ll do you one better.” He pulls his shirt off in that magical way, and while I admire every damn sit-up this man finds the time to do, he says, “Eyes up here, beauty.”
When I look up, there are two more crow tattoos that match the ones for him and his brothers. The two new ones are on his chest, flying high toward the sky. I’m gentle when I touch the freshly inked skin, but I can’t help but want to run my fingers over the raised design. “I love them. They’re different. Beautifully done. The other three represent you and your brothers. And these?”
He covers my hand with his and kisses my fingertips. “One is for Alfie.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Jet . . .” My throat thickens thinking of how much this gesture will mean to his son. “He’ll love it. He’ll love it so much.”
“I’m going to ask him if he wants to take my name. He can keep Barnett. That’s a link to his mother, but I’d like him to be a Crow if he wants to be. I want him to know that he’s a part of this family as much as any of us.”
I squeeze this man. Holding him as tight as I can, I kiss his chest. “You are amazing.”
“No. I’m just a dad who feels damn lucky to have a son.”
“I love you.”
“Why do you love me, baby?”
“Because you didn’t just show up for him, but also for me when I needed you most.”
His strong arms come around me, keeping me close. “And here I always thought you were the one who saved me.”
A kiss is placed on top of my head just before I lean back. “We never needed saving. We just needed each other.” I lift and kiss him.
Touching the other bird, I ask, “Is this for Dave, the honorary Crow Bro?”
“No.” His arms slide from around me, and he kneels on one knee. Pulling something from his pocket, he then holds a sparkling diamond ring before me. “I was thinking about asking you to change your name as well.”
The waterworks begin, but I play along anyway. “Just thinking about it?”
“No. I want you to change your name. Hannah Crow sounds really nice. What do you think?”
My gaze volleys back and forth between his eyes and the stunning ring. I love the ring, but I prefer the soulful eyes that I fell in love with, so I admire them instead. “I think it’s a beautiful name.”
“Hannah Lynn Nichols, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, but it was your beautiful heart and kind soul, caring side, and feistiness that made me realize I wanted to be yours forevermore. Will you be mine and stay?”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do than spend a lifetime and more with you. Yes, Jet.” The tears dry as excitement takes over.
This time I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around him. I kiss him silly and find myself being kissed right back just as much.
Love.
He taught me what love really is. It’s not about the words. It’s about the action, about showing up and being there when someone needs you most.
Love.
I used to think it was only for those more worthy. But Jet taught me, through Holli’s words, that I don’t have to be anything but me. With him, I’m happy. With him, I am enough.
With him, I am home.
Epilogue
Jet
Hannah insisted on paying for the wedding, wanting to burn through the money she felt was tainted somehow. Eileen and Hannah were both left equal shares of her father’s estate, which included mostly money he kept in banks and rarely spent.
Hannah never knew how much Ivan Nichols had amassed until the will was read.
Eight hundred thousand dollars.
Her share.
She told me she would have rather had his love.
There’s not a lot anyone can say to that, so I held her a lot tighter and promised her she would never be without love again. I intend to keep that promise every day and night
for the rest of my life.
The day she received the money, she paid for the wedding in full.
It’s not lost on me that on a day full of love she’s spending money that holds none. What’s mine is hers and hers mine, but I would have liked to pay for something more than the rings. My ego doesn’t need stroking . . . often, so I’m okay marrying a rich woman.
Anyway, with album sales skyrocketing over the past six months and our fame growing—we were nobodies last year, and this year, we’re everywhere—the band’s made a lot of money, more than we ever thought possible. I’m not Johnny Outlaw rich yet, but we never really have to worry again about watching our spending.
A little snag Hannah’s come upon is that when you plan a wedding on a friend’s estate, you find that the owners tend to be too generous. Holli loves to plan a party, and apparently, she and Johnny got married here, so her and Hannah have been gushing over the memories.
That’s usually my cue to head to the studio with the guys and jam.
But today is different. The planning is over, and although I got a few hours in with the guys to record, I’m now standing in front of a large floor-to-ceiling mirror next to my son, teaching him how to tie a four-in-hand knot with the sage tie around his neck. “You almost got it that time. Want to try once more?”
“Yes,” he mumbles, frustrated.
This time, I kneel beside him, and I go slower, tying my black tie while his hands mimic mine. “Dude, you did it!”
“Yes!” He fist pumps, which has Tulsa written all over it. “You were right. I just needed to be seven.”
His birthday was a month ago, and we’ve been celebrating ever since. It’s my first with him, and we went all out—Nerf battles, laser tag, cake, ice cream, and presents. Hannah pulled some from our pile to store for Christmas. She said there’s a difference between spoiling him and caring for him.
The only surprise was that all the moms stayed. I thought they would just drop their kids off and go, but their kids are seven, so I get wanting to stick around. My beautiful fiancée wasn’t so sure that was the reason they hung around, but she has nothing to be worried about.
Except for the money, apparently. I call her because I miss her. She sounds stressed. “You’re going to look just as gorgeous as you always do,” I say.
“Stop being charming. I already said yes.”
“You’ve got a lifetime of this charm coming your way. Best prepare, my love.”
“Ohh, I love preparing, especially with you.” She’s laughing one moment and not the next. She huffs instead. “What am I going to do with this money?”
“There are worse problems to have.”
“I’m paying for Alfie’s college and mine. And I’m buying a house.”
“For us or investment?”
“We’ll see.”
“There you go,” I say, trying to calm her down. “That should cover the rest of it.”
The sigh I hear on the other end of the line is happy. “I’ll see you in a little while?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Unlike Eileen, who was sent an invite on Alfie’s request. He doesn’t know she wanted his inheritance or the evil she’s capable of. We haven’t heard from her once since we won custody, not even on his birthday.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with that woman, but her heart died the day Cassie did because a black soul is all that remains. Alfie will find out eventually, but for now, we keep our opinions to ourselves in hopes that one day she’ll find a way to make amends with him.
I turn my phone off and tuck it into my pocket. Looking at Alfie sitting on the couch trying to show Tulsa how to knot his tie is quite the sight. Rivers stands by the windows looking out at the lawn where the wedding has been set up. I shove my hands in my pockets and stand alongside my middle brother. He says, “You ready for the big day?”
“I’m ready.”
“No nerves?”
“No nerves.” What is there to be nervous about? I’ve lived with Hannah for a while now. I can’t imagine there will be any surprises or changes when it comes to that. “I love her so damn much.” She’s a Crow even without the legalities in place.
“What do you love about her?” This time, he turns and looks me in the eyes, genuinely interested in my answer.
Before now, I hadn’t noticed he’d grown taller than me. Not by much, but an inch or so. My little brother isn’t so little anymore. He’s become a man; someone I’m not only proud to call my brother, but also my friend.
His question is easy to answer. “Everything—the good, the bad, the in between. All of her.”
“Yeah?” Half a smile slides up.
“Yeah. I remember driving her back to her car. I dreaded that goodbye. Every second I felt like I was driving in the wrong direction. I should be taking her home, not letting her leave. I felt like I was losing a part of me. It was wrong. Everything about that morning was wrong except one thing.”
“What?”
“When she woke up in my arms.” I should feel embarrassed for admitting that. I sound like a sap, but I can be truthful with him. He’s been there. He knows what I mean.
Rivers only asked for one invitation to be sent out. We never heard back despite how much I know he held out hope. Just in case he’s heard otherwise, I ask, “Is she coming?” carefully broaching the subject.
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Did you call her?”
“The call went to voicemail.”
I give his shoulder a squeeze. “Sorry, man.”
Shrugging, he replies, “It’s all right. What’s done is done.” Turning to me, we do our handshake and then bring it in for a hug. When he pats my back, he says, “Mom would be proud of you. Hannah’s a good woman.”
I know she is, but it’s good to have the family support behind me. He adds, “And you’re a good dad. You always were.”
“I’m twenty-seven, but I sound old.”
“Not old. Wise. I hope I’m as wise as you at your age.”
“Thanks, Riv.” It’s time, so I announce, “Come on, guys. It’s time to get hitched.”
Alfie runs up to me and hugs me. “Uncle Tulsa says I can get bird tattoos like all of you when I turn eighteen.”
I shoot a glare in his uncle’s direction. I’m obviously not against tattoos. “Can we let him be a kid for a few more years?”
Tulsa rolls his eyes. “Yes, Dad.”
“Good, son,” I say, patting his head, which spurs Alfie into a fit of giggles.
Reaching over, I wrap my arm around my youngest brother’s neck and pull him into a semi-headlock and part hug. “Hey, Tuls?” He usually fights it, but this time, he stops wriggling. “You guys are the best brothers anyone could ever ask for.” Releasing him, I pick Alfie up. “And you, sir, the best son a guy could ever wish for.”
Alfie’s arms fly around my neck, and he rests his head on my shoulder. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too.”
Tulsa pats my shoulder. “Thanks for being a great big brother.”
We stand there, letting the quiet sneak in. We’ve come a long way. I’m just glad I got to experience life with these guys by my side. “We should go. I don’t want to worry my bride by being late to the altar.”
Hannah and I decided on a small ceremony with just a few close friends, family, and our band families. We didn’t need a big party. We just need each other.
As I stand there with my best man by my side, I glance at my brothers once more who represent my family in the front row.
Johnny, Holli, and their son sit on the front row on Hannah’s side. Family is who we choose regardless of relation, blood, or bone. The people who matter are here.
Her mother.
Her half-brother.
Her stepfather.
I met them yesterday when they arrived, and I see so much of her mother in Hannah. She’s clever and confident, a survivor.
It’s good to see some other familiar fac
es staring back at me who made the trek from Austin to Ojai, but it’s the woman who stands at the end of the aisle that steals my attention and my heart all over again.
On Dave’s arm, Hannah Lynn Nichols is an angel on earth. Her dress billows to the side as the winds blow. The sun shines off her chestnut hair bringing out the gold as it catches in the breeze under a halo of a mixture of pale and deep pink and white flowers. She walks toward me with grace, a classic eloquence and beautiful bohemian.
I’m eternally grateful to the man on her right who saved her life—not just for Hannah, but also for me—so we could share the destiny we were always meant to have.
I take her hands, looking into the blue windows of my forever. “I love you.”
Hannah smiles and whispers, “I love you.”
We’re not supposed to be talking yet, but how can I let the moment pass me by without telling her how much she means to me? I can’t.
The traditional wedding vows are read as we stare into each other’s eyes. When it’s time for the rings, my best man leans his head against my hip and says, “Am I allowed to talk now?”
“Yes, Alfie,” I reply with a smile. “You can talk. What did you want to say?”
He moves to Hannah and tugs on the dress that hangs loosely at her hips. “Can I call you mommy now?”
“Oh Alfie,” she says, kneeling and hugging him tight. “You can call me mommy whenever you want. I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you, Mommy.”
There’s not a dry eye in the vicinity, including mine. The kid has great timing. Maybe I’ll let him play drums after all.
When he returns to his spot beside me, I slip the ring on her finger. “I didn’t know I was lost until I found you. In a sea of stormy weather, you are the anchor that saved me. In gratitude, I will spend my life being an anchor for you.”
Her eyes were watering from what Alfie said, but the tears finally tip over her bottom lids and slide down her porcelain skin. She takes my ring, slips it on, and then looks up at me. “I could spend my days regretting walking away that day, but instead, I celebrate every day I’ve been given since returning. You’ve given me your patience and kindness, your support, and your love. But what you’ve given me the most is your heart and a family. Both of which I will forever honor and cherish, taking care of them with all that I am. I love you, Jet. The big encompassing you.”