by Kat Mizera
41
Sandor
Though it wasn’t a surprise, getting back to my suite to get clean clothes on Christmas Eve was jarring. Lennox had emptied the closet and the bathroom, and all that was left was one suitcase and two boxes in the corner of the closet, which would be moved to Monte Carlo with her when she came back from her impromptu trip to Florida. I didn’t understand why she was going to visit her mother, since she’d made it sound like they weren’t close, but I figured it was an excuse to get away from me. Which made sense since I’d been an asshole.
I shed my clothes and left them on the floor, stepping into the shower wearily. It had been a really long few days and I was tired, both physically and emotionally. Breaking up with Lennox had been harder than I’d anticipated and I felt fucking empty inside. It was weird because I’d been completely unemotional when I’d told her we needed to step back and reassess, making it sound like she was nothing to me. The look in her eyes had been one of utter disbelief, followed by fury.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or something like that. If she could have gotten away with it, she probably would’ve had me in one of those headlocks. And I would have deserved it.
I let the water run over me, dreading the festivities tonight. What the hell was I going to do on Christmas Eve now that I’d dumped Lennox? I hadn’t bought gifts for anyone except Lennox and that was sitting in a drawer now. I hadn’t even thought to buy something for Luke this year, but what did you get a kid who literally had everything? It was the same for everyone else, except some of the guys, but we’d agreed not to get each other anything. Which left me somewhat bereft. The holidays weren’t about gifts, but it added to the fun. Now it was just another day, another celebration that I would muddle through without really engaging.
I got out of the shower and toweled off, trying to rationalize how I was feeling and failing miserably. I missed her and hated myself for being such a jerk. I’d thought it would be easier if I pissed her off, but underneath her tough exterior, she’d been hurt. I’d seen it in her eyes, the pain reflected there cutting me deeper than any knife. But I’d let it go because my sense of duty always took precedence. Always.
I found black slacks and a red button-down shirt, absently pulling them on along with dress socks. I didn’t bother tying my hair back in its usual ponytail, letting it fall free tonight. Lennox liked it long, I thought with an internal sigh. Damn, it was a good thing she’d asked to move to Monte Carlo, because I was having a hard enough time not thinking about her now, much less if I had to see her every day.
I slid my feet into my shoes and stuffed my phone in my pocket before heading down to Erik and Casey’s. They had everyone gathering in their private living area tonight. It would be an informal get-together, friends and family mingling without worrying about the press or cameras. Tomorrow there would be more formal events with Erik giving a televised speech and he and Casey visiting a cancer ward in the hospital in Hiskale. That was why they’d wanted something private tonight.
I’d just gotten to their floor when Erik stopped me in the hallway.
“You and I need to talk,” he said.
“Okay.” I followed him to his office, going in behind him and watching as he poured two fingers of whiskey for each of us.
“Have a seat,” he said.
“Okay.” I had a feeling I knew what was coming but I didn’t know what else to do, so I sat down.
“You want to tell me what happened with you and Lennox?”
“Not really.” I met his gaze squarely.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded. “Why would you break things off with her? I know you’re in love with that girl.”
“You don’t know any such thing,” I said tightly. This was the last thing I needed. It was bad enough that Casey wasn’t speaking to me, but I didn’t need a lecture from my best friend when everything I did was essentially for him.
“Bullshit.” He perched on the edge of his desk. “Talk to me, man. What is it? What happened?”
“You know damn well what happened!” I snapped. “Luke almost got kidnapped on my watch. I was so busy with the new woman in my life, I wasn’t paying enough attention to him. He needed us and we were too damn busy with women, the holidays, and look what nearly happened.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Erik demanded. “We were too busy with Lennox and Casey? You mean, my wife and the woman you love? Those women?”
“You know what I mean,” I ground out through clenched teeth. “We can’t afford to be distracted. We’ve sacrificed too much to let something happen now, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be because of me.”
“This isn’t on you!” Erik yelled, throwing up his hands in frustration. “This was about a stupid preteen doing a stupid preteen thing. It has nothing to do with a lapse in security or distractions or anything else—he was a kid who did a dumb thing and dragged his sisters into it with him. That’s all. The idea that you broke up with Lennox because…” His voice trailed off and he muttered something under his breath I didn’t quite catch, but it didn’t matter.
“It’s my job to prevent that shit from happening,” I said, though it sounded lame even to me.
“Do you not remember being a teenager?” Erik demanded. “Do you remember the time we snuck off to freakin’ Monte Carlo and got into a casino and charged over ten thousand dollars on my father’s account? When we weren’t even old enough to get in there?”
I grimaced. I did remember. We’d been fifteen and seventeen and subsequently had been grounded for a month. It was the only time we’d ever been grounded. Of course, it was also the only time we’d ever been caught, but that was another story.
“Or how about the beach in Dubai?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “And the girl with the bikini top that came off?”
“Okay, stop.” I didn’t want to hear it. This trip down memory lane wasn’t making me feel any better.
“Don’t you see? This isn’t about anything you did or didn’t do—it’s about Luke being a kid and testing the waters. This is more about Casey and me not being very good parents right now because we both know he was looking for attention in a warped, twelve-year-old way.”
“Yeah and maybe if I’d been spending time with him instead of Lennox, he wouldn’t have felt that way.”
“Sandor.” He came and stood in front of me, his eyes searching out mine. “Listen to me. Your days of ultimate sacrifice are over. Do you understand? I will banish you from the country before I let you do this to yourself anymore. It’s time for you to have your own life, a family, that beautiful woman who loves you… Our security is solid. We’re going to deal with Omar, even though it’s taking time and we’ve taken a break on that over Christmas. We’re bringing the kids here full-time starting in June and Casey and I are working on a plan to be more present for them, even if more of it falls on her than me. I’m handling the country, the presidency, and my family. It’s time for you to handle yours. Lennox. That family I know you want so badly. Bad things are going to happen, but your days of sacrifice are officially a thing of the past. We have to live in the present.”
“But—” I started to protest but Erik was shaking his head.
“No. There are no buts. We’re here, doing the best we can, but the sacrifice is in what we did, the past. Going forward, it’s time to live in the now, especially you.”
“Fuck.” My head dropped, my chin hitting my chest as I let out a long, weary breath. I didn’t even know how to start being my own man, because I’d always been Erik’s sidekick, partner in crime, other half. Maybe it was a bit of an unhealthy relationship, but once upon a time, we hadn’t had a choice. Now? Fuck, I didn’t know what now meant.
I’d fucked up big-time and there was a chance it was too late. I didn’t know how I would fix this or if that was even possible but I felt like the world’s biggest creep. How could I have chosen what amounted to a job over the woman I loved, the woman who made me feel things I had
n’t thought I’d ever feel? Why had my knee-jerk reaction been to let her go instead of fighting to have both?
“Erik, I don’t know who the fuck I am if I’m not protecting you and the family.”
“Then we’ll figure it out together. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of those moments, but having Casey at my side keeps me grounded. She’s the biggest part of me and I get my strength from what we have together. You’ll have that too, with Lennox, if you let yourself. So consider yourself fired until further notice.”
“Uncle Loco?” Luke’s voice was tiny but Erik and I both whirled around.
“Hey, bud.” I cleared my throat.
“Is it true? Is it my fault you broke up with Lennox?”
Erik and I exchanged a quick glance and then Erik nodded. “Indirectly, but yes. What you and your sisters did was dangerous and it scared us. Uncle Sandor was scared and blamed himself, thinking he was too distracted by his upcoming engagement and that it was his fault that you could have gotten hurt, or kidnapped, or worse.” That wasn’t the exact truth, but close enough since I’d thought about asking Lennox to marry me.
Luke’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry, Uncle Loco!” He threw himself in my arms and I hugged him tightly.
“It’s okay, kiddo. Really. I’m going to fix things with Lennox.” Hopefully. “What you did was wrong, but I’m a grown man and I shouldn’t have blamed her for something that wasn’t her fault.”
“I’ll talk to her.” Luke lifted his head and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, making both Erik and me grimace, but we opted to let it go. “I’ll tell her what happened and how I was being dumb and—”
“Okay, hang on.” I smiled. “Thanks for the offer, and you can apologize to her once I get her back here, but I have to be the one to make up with her. I’m the one who screwed up with her, not you.”
“Are you sure? ’Cause I really like Lennox. I want her to be my aunt.”
I smiled. I wanted that too.
“The jet is landing in an hour,” Erik told me. “Once he’s had time to refuel, he’s taking you to Fort Lauderdale. You should be at the airport ready to go.”
“Yes, okay.” I turned and practically ran back to my suite. Our suite.
I was such an idiot. I hadn’t had such a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach since the night I’d almost left Erik to die on the side of that mountain. The story, as we all knew it, was that I’d refused to leave him even though it meant certain death for both of us. The truth was that I’d started to leave, gotten halfway back up the mountain when I heard the gunshots and then doubled back, unable to stand the sound of my friend being murdered. In the end, some higher power must have intervened, because I used the grenades I had left in my backpack to distract his attackers and carried him out of there.
Initially, I’d been planning to do what he asked of me and leave him there to die while I dedicated my life to protecting his woman and son. Instead, something had pulled me back, both to him and to this life. Somehow, I’d known that letting him die would be the end of all things Limaji and I hadn’t wanted that. Not for him, not for his unborn child, and not for myself. We had a thousand years of royal blood running through our veins and it hadn’t been right to let that go. In fact, I’d never let it go and continued to fight for Erik, for our family, for our people, no matter what it cost me.
For the guy who hadn’t even wanted to be a prince, it made no fucking sense. And Erik was right, dammit. It was time to let go because this wasn’t getting me anywhere. My need for complete control had started to crumble with Lennox, and that had freaked me out more than anything else.
My entire being had been focused on protecting Casey and Luke, and now Erik and the rest of his family as well. But that wasn’t my reality anymore. The truth was that they didn’t need me now. Yes, of course Erik needed and wanted me on the team helping rebuild the country in whatever capacity was most useful—something we still hadn’t nailed down—but shit happened. Shit would always happen. It was part of life. Especially this life. But it couldn’t control us.
It was that fucking simple and I’d ruined the best thing to ever happen to me because I’d been too damn stubborn to see it. Now I had to win her back and I wasn’t sure how. The beautiful piece of jewelry I’d bought her for Christmas wasn’t right. It was beautiful and had we not broken up, she would have loved it. However, for this, to make up with her, I needed something perfect. And I knew just where to find it. I turned and sprinted back down the stairs towards Erik’s office.
42
Lennox
Christmas Day should have been great. Harlow showed up less than an hour after I texted her, telling her I was in town, and there was a lot of laughing, hugging and squealing. I hadn’t seen her in almost five years, though we exchanged texts and emails fairly regularly, and it was so good to hug her. Vivian was coming for dinner, and I was looking forward to seeing her, even though we weren’t close.
“So tell me everything,” Harlow said, following me onto the back patio. I’d just poured a third cup of coffee and was staring out at the intracoastal.
“Oh, you know how it is. Girl meets hot guy. Hot guy turns out to be a billionaire prince. Hot guy decides his job is more important than girl. Girl finds out her birth control implant is no longer working. Same shit, different day.”
Harlow’s eyes rounded. “You’re pregnant?”
“I have no idea. I don’t feel anything, but it could be as recent as a week. I forgot all about my appointment to replace the implant.”
“Are you late?”
I frowned. “I don’t get a period with the implant so no way to know. Although I’m assuming I would get it if it stopped working? I don’t know. I have to call my doctor’s office tomorrow, see if they’re open. If they are, I might need to fly out to Vegas to handle this.”
“Unless you’re already pregnant.”
“Yeah. That.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Well, of course. I couldn’t do that to anyone, least of all him. But probably not until after the baby is born because otherwise, he’ll want to marry me out of some sense of duty and that shit isn’t happening. Fuck that.”
“You have to do what’s right for you, but I think you should tell him. We definitely need to take a test, though. Like soon.”
“We?”
“Well, yeah. That’s what sisters are for. I think. I mean, I’m not sure since we didn’t really grow up together but that’s what sisters do in my head.”
“How’s Viv?”
She shrugged. “You’ll see. She’s a pain in the ass. She dropped out of school again.”
“Mom said Brad has been getting her back on track.”
“Yeah, he paid off the debt she ran up and helped her get a job. He told her he’ll pay for it if she goes back to school next year, but she has to keep a 3.0 average and no more partying. I laughed at that, but she seems to like him, so we’ll see.”
I leaned back, letting the ocean breeze blow through my hair. I was a little sick and a lot sad and mostly overwhelmed, but being here felt right. My mother, in spite of her faults, wasn’t a bad person. Brad seemed good for her. I loved Harlow to death and we were together for the first time in years. Everything should have been good. Except for missing Sandor. The baby thing didn’t even stress me out that much because I could handle whatever life threw at me. Except missing Sandor. I was having a hell of a time handling that.
“Why don’t you get cleaned up?” My mother came out on the patio. “We’re going to have some people coming by and I’d like to get some pictures with my girls.” She raised a finger when I started to protest. “I love you just the way you are, Lennox, but you know damn well you don’t want our first family photos in years to be with you in a ratty old tank top and with your hair up in a messy bun. Go clean up, put on a pretty blouse. That’s all I ask.”
She was right. If we were taking family photos, I couldn’t be dressed like I just rolled
out of bed. “All right. I’ll jump in the shower.”
I was ready in less than half an hour since I took the time to dry and curl my hair. I put on a layer of mascara and some lip gloss, but that was the extent of my primping. I’d brought a black denim miniskirt that was both cute and comfortable, and a tank top that had sequins on it since I’d known my mother would want pictures. I slid my feet into black, low-heeled sandals and walked out into the living room.
“Much better.” Mom smiled. “Are you hungry?”
I shrugged. “Not really.”
“The broken heart diet,” Harlow sighed. “Been there, done that. But come on, how about we share a bagel? Just put something in your stomach to soak up that gallon of coffee you’ve had.”
“Yes, Mom,” I teased.
Harlow put a bagel in the toaster oven and I poured myself another cup of coffee. Was this the fifth? Sixth? I was drinking way too much caffeine but I had to get through today and the guests that were apparently coming in and out all day.
“I’m sorry there aren’t any gifts for you,” Mom said, standing beside me. “If I’d known you were coming…”
“It’s fine.” I smiled. “I don’t need anything. Really.”
“Maybe we can go shopping tomorrow? You could probably use something practical like new slippers since it gets cold over there, or mascara? Something you don’t have much time to shop for?”
I wanted to say no, I didn’t need anything, but she was trying really hard to be accepting of my lifestyle and the fact that I wasn’t girlie like she was, so that would be bitchy of me. Besides, she was probably right about the slippers—it did get cold in Europe, whether I was in Limaj or Monte Carlo, and I didn’t have any.
“Okay. That sounds fun. Can Harlow come too?”
“Like you could keep me away.” Harlow giggled.
The buzzer sounded and I straightened my spine a little. I could and would put on a happy face for my mother and Brad’s friends. It was just a couple of days and then I’d go back to stoic, professional Lennox for the rest of my life. Unless I was pregnant. I couldn’t be stoic or unemotional if I had a baby.