by Kira Adams
She had me at hello, and in a way, I think that’s how it’ll always be. Bo always referred to her as “the one”, my other half. Even though I tried out other pieces along the way, Madalynne is the only puzzle piece that ever truly fit in my heart and ever truly would. The deaths in our families, her parents’ divorce, fleeting relationships with others—nothing can keep us apart, and nothing ever will.
Preview of the fourth novel in the Infinite Love Series, Beautifully Broken
One – Memory Eraser
My head falls back, hitting the bathroom wall with a thud. I love the feeling that washes over me as an aftereffect. It’s my own personal nirvana. I exhale loudly, my eyes still closed, reveling in the lightheaded feeling.
Since the very first time, my routine has never wavered. It’s the one thing I look forward to most days, while also something I’m ashamed of. If I ever wanted to give myself fully to someone, they would be entitled to know. That’s why I keep everyone at arm’s length.
Parker Grant is the only other human being on this earth I trust enough to contemplate telling…but after he chose Madalynne, I saw no reason.
Getting to be with Parker for as little as a week was better than I could have ever dreamed, but I could tell something was missing. While he made my world go ’round, I struggle to believe I did the same for him.
It was difficult watching him go, knowing exactly where he was headed. He was fighting for someone who couldn’t see his worth. It killed me.
I saw so much potential when I picked him up at the airport, had visions of what our future would be like together. But I was sorely mistaken.
It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving Parker. I don’t know that I ever could. He’s my kryptonite. So, when he contacted me shortly after leaving, while still in Hawaii, wanting to keep in touch, I couldn’t help myself.
Parker is the only guy I have ever trusted wholeheartedly. He knows almost everything about me. But there are secrets I keep hidden, buried. He is the only one I ever imagined could accept them and love me for me.
It’s no wonder I’m broken; being emancipated at fifteen will do that to you. I grew up with a heroin addict for a mother and no father in sight. My mother would send me into department stores to use the five-finger discount she taught me to her advantage.
For my entire life, she never had a job. We were always shuffling back and forth between shelters and the streets. It was a dangerous environment I grew up in, which is why I didn’t hesitate to get the hell out of there when I was of legal age.
I grew tired of stealing to support my mother’s addiction, and the stress was wearing on me, leaving me exhausted. She would make enough money from what I stole to support her habit, but not to put food in our mouths. It was a dangerous situation I wasted no time getting out of.
It was no wonder I clung to Parker so fast when he reached out to me in a chat room about suicide. His brother had recently taken his own life and he needed someone to talk to about it. We connected right away when I let him in on my suicide attempt. It isn’t something I tell many others. In fact, Parker is the only one I’ve shared my past with willingly. He made me feel comfortable and safe from judgment.
While I’m devastated about losing Parker in the romantic sense, I can’t stand to lose the one friendship that means more to me than anything else in the world.
My entire life I have never felt worthy of love, yet I find myself seeking it out due to my father’s absence in my life and my drug-addicted mother.
When I was seven years old, my teacher, Mrs. Edelson, called Child Protective Services on my mother. She had forgotten to pick me up after school. I’m not talking late; I’m talking full-on no call, no show. Who forgets to pick up their own child?
My father dipped out not too long after that, unable to handle his fatherly responsibilities. My mother went on a rant once that he ended up somewhere in Mexico.
CPS claimed me and put me into foster care at the age of thirteen after I called 911 because I found my mother passed out on the ground, crack pipe next to her, throw up all over the place.
I spent two agonizing years in foster care before filing for emancipation. I applied and was approved pretty quickly thanks to the amazing godsend of a caseworker I had, Trinity.
Luckily, I’m an only child, so no other children had to be subjected to the hell I went through growing up.
The only person who even makes my life worth living is my friend Travis. He was my pillar of support during my childhood years.
I met him in middle school, and we spent almost every day together after that. He knows everything I went through with my parents; he knows how difficult my life has been from day one. He was the phone call I made before trying to kill myself. He saved my life. He stuck by me through thick and thin, the real definition of a friend.
At fifteen when I was granted emancipation, Travis convinced his parents to take me in, and knowing how close we were, they did. I thank God every day for them. In return for my free pass, I help out by working in their stables.
What most would consider hard labor, I consider my fresh start and have actually come to love the horses I care for and my work. It feels very fulfilling and helps center me.
Travis and his parents are also the only ones aware of my disorder. They handle me with kid gloves, making sure not to test me. They know how quickly I can be triggered and shoot from zero to one hundred, and yet they still forgive me and reassure me that it’s not my fault—just a result of my shitty upbringing.
While Travis likes to think he knows everything about me, he knows nothing of my biggest secret, and I don’t know that I want him to. He’s been there for me when no one else has, and even though I know he’d still accept me, the truth is far too hard to face.
“Well, are you going to get that or not?” She looks at me, a tired expression running across her face.
I nod slightly, dragging my feet all the way to the front door; nothing good will be on the other side. I glance back at my mother one more time. Her eyes look sunken in, her blond hair hasn’t been washed in over a week, and I wonder if she is aware of the stench radiating off her.
“Get to it!” she screams once she notices my hesitation.
The banging picks up volume, more urgent this time, and it’s not good for me. After fumbling with the lock nervously and opening the door, the scumbag pushes it open roughly, knocking me out of the way.
“What took so long?” he growls at my mother.
“I’m sorry, baby!” She jumps up from the couch and embraces him, slapping me across the back of the head. “Jacqueline took her sweet time. It won’t happen again.” She turns her attention to me. “Go on to your room now.”
I may be young, but I’m not naïve. It’s no secret what is about to happen. They are going to get high as a kite together; my mother’s drug of choice this week is meth, and then they will add weed into the mix a little later. I don’t want to think about the possibilities of later, so I hurriedly race to my room, locking the door behind me. His sleazy crooked grin, missing teeth, and dirty clothes are burned into my memory. It’s what nightmares are made of.
I had a close call a month ago when one of her “friends” came knocking at my door in the middle of the night. I lay there, perfectly still, frozen in fear as the handle jiggled and jiggled until eventually, it just stopped. It was the first night I locked my door, and I’ve been doing it ever since.
Roger, the scumbag over now, has crossed the line more than a few times with his vulgar language toward me, and one time he even walked in on me in the shower. He swore it was an accident to my mother, but I saw his eyes taking in my pre-teen body—and I was scared shitless.
The incident occurred a few weeks ago, and I am terrified to even be around him now. I press my ear to the door, relieved to hear my mother’s voice.
I change into pajamas and climb into bed. I’m not asleep for more than 45 minutes before I hear the rattling of my door handle. My heart rate spikes in
anticipation.
“Roger? Where are you?” My mother’s voice is faint. My fear accelerates knowing she isn’t the one outside my door. The handle wiggles a few more times before I hear her again, this time more clearly: “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Who are you talking to in that tone, woman?” Roger’s voice rings through. Then I hear what sounds like his fist hitting her. My heart is pounding against my chest loudly. I can barely hear her now, but it is apparent that she is whimpering.
“I’m sorry, baby. Just come back to the living room. We can order a pizza and watch a movie.” I can see their shadows beneath my doorframe.
“No one tells me what to do,” I hear him exclaim before the sound of a second altercation grabs my attention.
“If you touch her, I’ll kill you.” My mother’s concerned tone takes me by surprise.
The sounds of breaking glass and dishes startle me. I jump up from my bed, bracing myself against the wall. I want to be strong and check on my mom, but the sound of heavy footsteps is too terrifying. I can’t move a muscle.
The jiggling of the door handle begins again, only this time it is more forceful, more anxious.
I crawl underneath my bed; for some reason it seems like the only space small enough he may not be able to reach me. I press myself against the wall, as close as I can get, right underneath the headboard.
I can hear what sounds like kicking at my door, taking my breath away. Closing my eyes and covering my ears makes it feel less real.
About the Author
Krista Pakseresht has always been a dreamer, from the first time she opened her eyes, and creating worlds through words is one thing she is truly talented at. She specializes in young adult/new adult romance, horror, action, fantasy, and non-fiction under the pen name Kira Adams. She is the author of the Infinite Love series, the Foundation series, the Darkness Falls series, A Date with the Devil, The Life I Never Asked For, Never Trust a Bad Boy and Ultimate Game Changer.
Books by Kira Adams
The Infinite Love Series
Learning to Live
Life After
My Forever
Beautifully Broken
Against All Odds
The Foundation Series
Pieces of Me
The Fighter
The Road Back to Us
Darkness Falls Series
Into the Darkness
Emerging from Darkness
The Darkness Remains
Standalones
A Date with the Devil
Ultimate Game Changer
The Life I Never Asked For
Never Trust a Bad Boy