by Harley Stone
“Be careful. Hurt people can really hurt people,” she said, her eyebrows dropping in thought. “But don’t forget that healed people can also heal people. You’ve gotten over a lot of shit in your lifetime. If I live to be a hundred, I swear I’ll never understand your reason for joining the military—and then a biker gang—but it’s clear it was all part of your healing process. You’re less… self-absorbed now.”
“A biker club,” I corrected. “And gee, thanks.”
She snorted. “Whatever. Regardless, you’re still far from perfect, but who knows? Maybe the shit you’ve been through uniquely qualifies you to help Tina and Dylan out.”
I frowned, letting her words sink in. “Like a friend.”
“Sure.” She shrugged. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself. But I have a feeling the first time you two are alone, things are gonna get really freaky around here.”
Out of principle, I wanted to argue, but before I could even call bullshit, she turned and walked out. Besides, as much as I hated to admit it, she was right. There were fireworks between me and Tina. The timing was shit, which meant I needed to make sure Tina and I were never alone so the sparks between us wouldn’t have the chance to catch us both ablaze. I saw a lot of quality time with my hand in the near future. At least Tina’s sexy-ass curves and shy smile would provide plenty of material for my spank bank.
Maybe someday I’d get the opportunity to see how red I could make her cheeks.
Eventually.
When she wasn’t in the middle of a messy divorce.
Fuck.
Yep. My right hand would be getting some major action in the days to come. I’d have to start doing extra curls on my left side, so I didn’t end up with one Popeye forearm. Shaking my head at myself, I set my glass in the dishwasher and headed upstairs. I had time to tie one off before we had to leave to pick up Dylan.
Over the rest of the week, Tina, Dylan, and I fell into a comfortable routine. In the mornings, she’d make breakfast. The three of us would eat together at the bar, and then we’d take Dylan to school. Afterwards, I’d drop her fine ass and the Escalade off at the house, hop on my bike, and put some distance between us. I could never tell if Tina was disappointed or relieved to see me go. Usually, I went to the fire station. There, I hung around like a lump on a log—trying to make myself useful but with nothing to do—until about an hour before Dylan got out of school. Then, I’d come home, pick her up, and we’d go retrieve the kid together.
We didn’t exactly avoid each other; we just limited our alone time.
The minutes we did spend together were pure fucking torture.
Whenever she so much as crossed her legs or shifted her stance, my body reacted. With every shy smile and averted gaze, my cock hardened. Her scent lingered in pockets of my house, driving me out of my mind. I wanted her so damn bad that not even my hand could satisfy me anymore. Most nights, I could barely get it out of my mind that she was only a floor beneath me, lying in bed, probably every bit as hot and bothered as I was. Hard as a rock, I tossed and turned until I finally passed out.
I had no idea how long we could share a roof before I snapped and broke down her fucking bedroom door.
I made it to Thursday before Tap took one look at me, ushered me into the office he shared with Morse and Hound, and said, “The club’s still an option. If Tina and Dylan are too much, they can stay here.”
Knowing I looked like shit, I ran a hand over my face, trying to wipe away the exhaustion. “Any sign of Matt?”
“Nope,” Tap replied. “The bastard hasn’t shown up at Elenore’s either. Don’t expect him to as long as we keep Tina’s car and cell phone here.”
“You think he tracked them here?” I asked.
Morse popped his head up from behind his monitor. “He graduated cum laude from UDub and works in software development. He’s a smart, tech-minded son-of-a-bitch. I’d bet Hound’s left nut that he at least tracked her phone here.”
UDub was what the locals called the University of Washington. Back when I’d been looking at colleges, UDub required a 3.8 GPA and only had about a fifty percent acceptance rate. Unless things had drastically changed, it was one hell of a hard school to get into. Matt had to be book smart at least.
“What the fuck, man?” Hound asked, spinning around to face us. “Bet your own damn balls. I have plans for mine.”
“He proposed to Mila last night,” Morse said.
Nodding, Hound grinned. “She said yes, by the way. Morse has been flickin’ me shit ever since.”
“Get used to it asswipe,” Morse said. “We’ll be family soon.”
Mila was Morse’s cousin. Because the club was full of gossips, I’d heard snippets about her fucked-up past. Hound’s past wasn’t much better, and his time in the Navy had left him disabled and in constant pain. They were good people who’d overcome a lot of obstacles and seemed genuinely happy together.
“That’s great to hear.” I stepped over to shake his hand. “Congrats, brother.”
His grin widened. “Thanks, man.”
“You guys planning a big wedding?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah, they will be,” Morse said. “A club wedding. You haven’t seen one of those yet, prospect, but you should start preparing your liver now. Tina and Dylan could go back to Elenore’s. Rabbit’s been spending plenty of time there. I’m sure he’ll keep an eye on them.”
That was news to me. “He is? Why?” I asked.
“None of our business,” Tap said, giving Morse a pointed look.
“All I’m saying is that I’ve never known Rabbit to take vacation before, but he’s been out all we—”
“None of our fucking business,” Tap repeated.
Okay then. Something was clearly up. I looked to Morse, hoping to glean more information, but he was back to typing away and didn’t pay me any mind.
I had so many questions.
But even if Morse was right and Rabbit was hanging out at Elenore’s, he would have to go back to work eventually. So would Elenore. That would leave Tina and Dylan alone at the condo. Not an option.
Truth be told, even if Rabbit quit his job and spent every moment of his life at Elenore’s, I wouldn’t want Tina and Dylan to move out of my house. Despite the torture of being so close to something I wanted but couldn’t have, I enjoyed their company. Every evening, after we picked Dylan up from school, I helped him with his homework while Tina made dinner. Then the three of us played games or watched a movie together. It was a nice, easy, comfortable companionship I could definitely get used to. I didn’t realize how lonely I’d been before they appeared, but now, I couldn’t imagine my house without them in it.
“They’re safer with me,” I said.
Morse snorted.
Tap smirked but didn’t say shit.
The look Hound gave me made it clear I hadn’t fooled him, either.
Having voiced everything I planned to say on the matter, I got the hell out of there.
Saturday morning, Dylan and I had plans. Since I didn’t want Tina to get cabin fever and go all The Shining on me, I arranged for her to get out of the house and have some fun, as well. Just not with me. I wasn’t a fucking masochist, after all.
“Are you sure it’s safe?” Tina asked, her hands resting protectively on Dylan’s shoulders as worry drew lines across her forehead.
“I won’t let anything happen to him,” I assured her.
“It’s safe,” Dylan assured her. “Lots of kids play hockey, Mom. It would be illegal if it wasn’t safe.”
There were serious flaws in the kid’s logic, but I didn’t point them out. Thankfully, neither did Tina. Squeezing her eyes shut, she dropped a kiss on his forehead and released him. He leapt out of her reach like the ref had just released him from the penalty box and he was anxious to get back in the action.
“Be careful,” Tina said.
“Have fun with Carisa, and don’t worry about a thing.” My cousin would be there any minute to take Tina out
for a spa day. I didn’t even want to know what the fuck that entailed, but it had been Carisa’s idea.
Dylan and I hurried out the door before his mom could change her mind. He spent the entire drive firing off questions about the sport and talking about how great he was going to be at it. Judging by his enthusiasm, he fully expected to become some kind of hockey prodigy and get drafted into the NHL before finishing grade school. I did my best to ground him in reality without crushing his dreams, but the kid was a goddamn force.
“It’s a lot of work,” I said, parking in front of my buddy’s rink.
“But you did it,” he countered.
“Not until after college, and I worked my ass off to get in. Dylan, nothing in this life worth doin’ is easy. The more work you put in, the greater the rewards.”
He stared at me, cocking his head to the side as he opened his door. “You sound like my PE teacher.”
“You already have physical education?” I got out of the Escalade and rounded the vehicle to help him out. Without waiting for me, he hopped down on his own, shutting the door behind him. “You’re in like… what, second grade?”
He huffed. “Third.”
“You like PE?”
He shrugged and followed me toward the front door. “It’s better than reading, but Mr. White likes to talk too much. Sometimes he says stupid things and I get in trouble for pointing out how stupid they are.”
This kid. So matter of fact about dressing down the adults in his life. Careful to keep my expression neutral, I said, “Yeah? Well, you gotta show adults respect.”
“Why?”
I thought about it for a beat. “Because karma is real and growing up isn’t easy. You go through a lot of shit and it either breaks you or makes you tough and wise. You’ll be an adult someday, and after struggling through life to get there, you won’t appreciate some punk-ass little kid calling you stupid.”
Frowning, he looked down at his feet. “Yeah, but I’m not gonna say stupid shit when I’m a grown up.”
I chuckled at his candor. “Okay, I’m gonna need an example. What did Mr. White say that has you all up in arms?”
“He made us run, and I was tired, so I started walking instead. He told me not to quit. He said I had to take quit and put it in my pocket.” Dylan’s face scrunched up with disgust as he gestured wildly. “I was wearing gym shorts. They don’t even have pockets.”
I could practically see the scene between Dylan and his teacher playing out in my head, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Most of the PE teachers I’d met were wannabe coaches who listened to too many motivational speakers and took themselves too seriously. “I take it you told him as much.”
Dylan nodded. “And he sent a pink note home and I got in trouble. He said something stupid, and I couldn’t play video games for a week. It wasn’t fair.”
The kid had a point.
We’d reached the door, but I stopped and turned to face him. “I’m gonna tell you something I wish someone would have told me when I was your age.”
“Is it that life isn’t fair?” he asked, his eyes full of barely suppressed pain. “Because my parents are getting a divorce, so I already know that.”
Damn. That hit hard. Wishing I could take some of that hurt away from him, I shook my head. “No. I was going to tell you you’re right, but it doesn’t matter. Not one bit. The world doesn’t care if you’re right; they just want you to follow the rules. Society likes robots who do what they’re told, but you’re a free thinker. So, you need to be okay with knowing you’re right in your heart, while pretending to play by their rules. Then life will be easier for you.”
He stared at me, his forehead scrunching up. “What do you mean?”
“Well, life’s a lot like hockey,” I said, leaning against the building. “If you put a bunch of guys on the ice with sticks and told them to score points, it would be chaos. You’d get the same result if you set kids loose without guidelines and let them do their own thing. Rules were created to keep everything civil. On the ice, refs make sure everyone follows the rules. In life, the people enforcing the rules change based on where you are and what you’re doing. As a kid, your parents, teachers, and other adults keep you in line and punish you when you step out. They’re like the refs in your life.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “But sometimes they’re wrong.”
I chuckled. “They sure are. You think refs are always right? They’re not. They make bad calls. Like everyone else, they’re only human. The majority are good people who do their best to make fair calls and not show favoritism to one team or another. Don’t get me wrong, there are some dirty assholes in the bunch, but for the most part, they’re just trying to do their job. Adults are no different.”
He stared at me thoughtfully.
“But… here’s where it gets tricky. Say you’re out on the ice and a ref makes a bad call. What do you think will happen if you call him stupid?”
“I don’t know.”
“He’ll boot your ass out of the game. You gotta be strong enough to know you’re right, and smart enough to keep your mouth shut about it.”
“If a ref makes a bad call, someone should tell him.”
I nodded. “Sure, but it won’t matter. The only way a ref’s gonna change his mind, is if he sees something on the instant replay. Average, ordinary people don’t have that option. Besides, what difference do you think it’ll make? Your teacher wasn’t trying to be stupid. He was trying to inspire you to be better. You can’t fight everything you don’t agree with, Dylan. You do that, you’ll become the problem. Trust me, you don’t want to be that guy.”
He stared at me. I got the feeling he wanted to argue, but he held his tongue and mulled over my words. Hell, I could practically see the wheels spinning in his head. Little by little, I was getting through to the kid. Knowing my words had an impact felt like a fucking bear hug straight to my heart. Shaking off the warmth before it got uncomfortable, I swung open the door.
“Come on. Let’s get you into a pair of skates and see how you do on the ice.”
As anticipated, it took a little time for Dylan to get his feet under him, but once he managed to find his balance, he was a fearless little terror. I watched him go full-bore into the boards, bounce off, and then do it again without a moment of hesitation. We did nothing but skate that first day, and by the end of it, he was dragging ass and still begging me to stay longer.
“You have to be hungry,” I said. Hell, I was starving, and I hadn’t worked half as hard as the kid. “Let’s pick up something to eat and head home.”
“Fine.” His shoulders slumped. “But we didn’t even play any hockey.”
“We will,” I assured him.
“Tomorrow?”
I laughed. “You’re gonna be sore tomorrow. We’ll probably have to give it a little while. I’ll reach out to my buddy and see when the ice is open next. Maybe we can get you into some classes. In the meantime, I’m gonna order a couple of books. I want you to read over the rules of the game and learn the language. Can’t have you making me look bad in front of the other kids.”
“I’m gonna have to read? And learn new words?”
“I think you’ll live.” I led him to the bench where we removed our skates. “Your mom said your grades have been slipping, but you’re probably the smartest third grader I’ve ever met. What’s goin’ on with that?” I asked.
Following me toward the locker room, he said, “I’ve had a lot goin’ on, Kaos.”
He sure had, but it was an excuse that could easily become a crutch. “So?”
He frowned. “I’m not perfect, okay?”
I bit back a laugh. “Nobody expects you to be, buddy. You ever hear of Socrates?”
Dylan shook his head.
“He was a great Greek philosopher who said, ‘The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on the fighting of the old, but the building of the new.’ You understand what that means?”
“Y
eah. I guess.”
“So, level with me. Did your parents’ breakup make you dumb?”
He gaped at me. “No!”
“Lazy?” I asked.
“I’m not lazy,” he snapped.
“Good.” I put his borrowed skates back where they went before grabbing my bag. “Because I’m not teaching some dumb, lazy kid hockey. If you want to learn from me, you’re gonna have to stay up on your grades, and don’t think your bullshit excuses will get you out of anything. Trust me. I was your age once, and I used them all.”
He eyed me. “You did? Were you dumb or lazy?”
The shithead turned my own words against me. It was everything I could do to keep from laughing my ass off. Mussing up his hair, I answered, “Neither. I was a smartass little punk who thought I knew all there was to know. Good thing I had a crusty old coach to set me straight.”
He grinned up at me. “Good thing I got one of those, too.”
12
Tina
I’D BEEN EXPECTING a relaxing spa day with Carisa, but my newfound friend betrayed me. Instead, we drove out to Bellevue, where she parked in front of a massive two-story home and gave me a sheepish smile.
“Where are we?” I asked, looking for some sort of sign that the residence doubled as a spa.
“I’m sorry, Tina. I fucked up.”
The hair on the back of my neck rose as the implication of her words hit me. I could only think of one way she could really fuck up: Matt.
No.
That was impossible. She didn’t even know about him.
Unless Kaos had said something.
Kaos had delivered the divorce papers to Matt. Had my ex somehow gotten through to him? Maybe they’d exchanged numbers. Matt would no doubt love the opportunity to share his convoluted side of the story. I’d heard him spin a tale and knew perfectly well that he could come out of any situation smelling like roses and innocence. Kaos had been avoiding me all week… disappearing after we dropped Dylan off at school until it was time to pick him up again. Maybe Matt had filled his head with lies, and now Carisa was in on it.