She asked not because of the attire she wore, but because of how prideful she felt as she looked at the beautiful girl who stared back at her. Proof of why The Chosen didn’t keep mirrors.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world. 1 John 2:16 Another verse that had been drilled into her head from birth.
But she was no longer chosen. Something she would need to get used to. Slowly, she opened the bathroom door.
“What do you think about—” Shelly stopped abruptly, and her mouth dropped to the floor as she turned to look at Rachel. “Honey, you are gorgeous.”
Rachel looked away in shame. Shelly’s words were the very reason The Chosen women covered themselves. To avoid vanity. God saw the inside of a person, not the outside. But He . . . tears bit at her eyes. He no longer loved her.
“Oh, it’s okay, honey.” Shelly pulled her into a hug. “If you would rather—”
“No,” Rachel said much too quickly. “I . . . It will just take some getting used to. You are correct, my old dress was getting tight.”
It was an excuse. But the soft, clean feel of the fabric against her skin was delightful. The coolness that surrounded her arms and legs refreshing. Right or wrong, she liked it, and she would wear it.
“Okay. Good. Just let me get dressed, and we’ll head off to church.”
Rachel left the room to find Lenny, once again, in front of the television screen. Only this time he had on much dressier clothes.
“You look quite handsome,” she said as she sat down next to him.
“Thanks.” He flipped through the channels as scenes left the screen as quickly as they appeared.
“You look―” He gave her the once-over. “Normal,” he said and went back to flipping channels.
Rachel smiled.
RACHEL STARED IN AWE as they entered the church building. People actually smiled. And they seemed happy to be there. Families congregated around, talking and laughing, shaking hands, and welcoming each other. And the clothing was so varied. Some of the women wore dresses, and others just wore jean pants. There were even some who sported slacks that went all the way up to their thighs. She couldn’t seem to stop staring at the different women who passed her by. Each of them so diverse. Skin colors she had never seen before. Brown, tan, yellow. Some wore their hair down, some up. Short hair, long hair, colorful clothes, plain clothes, ties and jackets, jeans and t-shirts. No two people were the same. It made her dizzy to try and take it all in.
“Come on. Service is about to start.” Shelly pulled her into a huge room lined with rows and rows of fabric covered chairs. It was nothing like the Sacrament back in her community. In fact, it couldn’t have been more different. No hard benches or dirt floor. The air conditioner cooled the room, making it comfortable. The elders would balk at the niceties. Unnecessary, they would say. Worldly.
“Let’s sit in the middle. Don’t want to get too close to the fire, ya know.”
Rachel raised an eyebrow. “Fire?”
“It’s just a saying . . . oh, come on. We’ll sit by Hannah and Todd.” She pointed in the direction of the woman Rachel had met before.
My husband is a police officer.
“No!” she spoke abruptly, and Shelly turned around.
The fear on her face must have been enough to convince Shelly because she turned and walked in the opposite direction.
“On second thought, let’s sit in the back. Less crowd to maneuver on our way out.”
Rachel sighed. She wasn’t ready to come face to face with a servant of the devil. Not on a Sunday, of all days.
“Welcome,” a man spoke, and everyone stood. She stood with them. “God is good!” he yelled.
Several “Amens” emitted from the congregation.
“Let’s start out in worship to the Lord.”
Rachel gawked at the people on the stage, holding strange instruments. Before she had time to wonder, a harmonious sound filled the room as people lifted their voices in a melody. Rachel stared in awe as the voices around her came together to form a beautiful tune. All at once, an elation rushed through her. Goosebumps lined her arms as she allowed the music to soothe her soul. She’d never felt anything so peaceful, comforting . . . forgiving.
Up at the front of the stage, words ran across a big screen behind them. She’d never learned to read so she had no idea what they said, but a sudden yearning to learn fell over her. She wanted more than ever to read the words that were spoken in unison all around her. Shame fell over her. She had fallen in with the ways of the world. But somehow it didn’t seem wrong.
“It’s the words to the song,” Shelly whispered as she pointed to the screen. “That way if you don’t know it, you can still sing along.” She smiled so grandly that Rachel couldn’t think of disappointing her with the knowledge that she had not learned to read.
When the music was over, the congregation took their seats, and a man wearing a tan button-down shirt and jeans stood up to the podium.
“Praise God!” he shouted. “Although we are like filthy rags, He loves us anyway.”
Another course of “Amens” rounded the building.
“And that is just what I want to speak to you about today. The unpardonable sin.”
Rachel shrunk a little in her seat. She was used to sermons on hell and damnation, but this was a little too close for comfort.
“What exactly is the unpardonable sin? I’m glad you asked. Let’s dissect these two words for a moment.” He smiled. “Unpardonable. The dictionary says – too severe to be pardoned. Unforgivable.” He glanced around the room. “Now we all know what the word sin means, but I will read the dictionary definition just in case.”
A couple of people chuckled.
“The definition of sin is ― an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law. We all know that the divine law is God’s law, right?”
Some nodded, others spoke out in agreement. Something that was strictly forbidden in a Chosen service.
“So, the unpardonable sin, according to our good friend Webster, means an act against God’s law that is too severe to be pardoned. Did I get that right?”
“Yes, brother,” a man yelled out.
“Amen,” another called.
“Hm.” He placed a hand up to his chin. “But Psalm 103:12 says - As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. This is quite disconcerting.
“Is this a contradiction?” He glanced around the crowded room. “So, which is it? Does God forgive all sin, or is there some sin that is so vile that God refuses to forgive it?" He glanced around the room as if looking for the answer. “Yes, there is one. And only one.” He put a finger in the air. “And that is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.” He glanced around the room again. “But do not fret my friends because that sin doesn’t pertain to you and me. No. It was only valid while Jesus walked the earth. As the children of God, we each have a key to heaven. The Bible says,” He opened his Bible. “Nothing can take us away from Him. That yet while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That we were bought for a price and if we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, we are saved.”
Another round of “Amens” emanated through the building as Rachel tried to decipher his words. He was wrong. Elder Joseph had told her she had committed the unpardonable sin. He had said that God . . .
“That’s right, the only unpardonable sin in our day is the sin of unbelief. That, my friends, means that the only thing that can keep you away from God, is your own stubborn refusal to give your life to Him.”
Rachel stared at the man on stage. He was clean-shaven, wore his hair neat and short, and had on a pair of thin wire glasses. But what caught her attention was not his appearance but his aura. The compassion that burned in his eyes was something she’d never witnessed before. And for a split second, he looked at her. There must have been a couple hundred people in the room and, as strange as it was, his ey
es fell on hers all the way in the back of the room.
He held her eyes as he spoke. “If you are here today, and you believe you are too far gone to be in the presence of the Almighty Lord,” He broke eye contact, yet still seemed to be speaking to her. “I want you to know,” his eyes moved back to hers. “You are not.”
The congregation stood up and clapped. Rachel sat immobile and stared at the people around her, so filled with joy, happiness, peace.
Are the elders mistaken? Have they been deceiving us the entire time?
She’d seen the Bible that sat on Shelly’s coffee table. She couldn’t read, but it was no different than the one that sat on the table in her own home.
The congregation sat back down.
How can that be? Has Satan gotten a hold of this man?
“There is one way, and one way alone, to get through those Pearly Gates. And Jesus made it plain that He is that way.” He turned the pages in his Bible. “In John 14:6 to be exact, he says, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. Luckily for us, we have a direct line to Heaven through the Son, Jesus Christ.”
Rachel didn’t hear most of the rest of what the man said because she was still trying to digest what she’d already heard. Before she knew it, the people around her had bowed their heads in prayer. Embarrassed, she bowed her head and recited silently the rote chant she’d uttered since she was a youngling. But before she could begin, the preacher spoke. She lifted her head, and all heads were still bowed. She placed her head back down and listened.
“Father, we thank you so much that, if we know You, our names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. That it’s not written in pencil that can be erased. Or chalk that can be wiped away. Not even in crayon, that can be scratched through. No, our names are written in permanent marker that can never be removed.”
“Amen,” Shelly whispered and reached over and put her hand on Rachel’s leg. Warmth ran through her.
The preacher continued. “For Your Word tells us that nothing can take us away from You. And Lord, I know that You have put this specific message on my heart for someone in particular. Someone here who needs to hear from You desperately. I don’t know who they are or what they are going through, but Lord, my only hope is that a seed has been planted. One that You will fertilize and water to grow into a beautiful flower . . .”
Tears rolled down Rachel’s face.
It is not true. It cannot be.
She wanted it to be, but it went against everything she’d ever learned . . . And her people were chosen by God . . . Weren’t they?
Chapter 24 - Linda
All out of tears, Linda laid in bed for the fourth day in a row. She was sure to have lost her job by now. What did it matter? She’d lost her daughter. She’d allowed the only man she’d ever loved to slip right through her fingers. And all because she’d opened her big mouth. She had been too hard on Luna. She’d pushed and shoved until she’d driven her away. She’d only wanted the girl to do better than she had.
And Blake, well if she hadn’t driven him away too . . .
The phone rang. It wasn’t her work. They had called several times in the first two days, but since then, it sat on her bedside table, silent. She leaned up on an elbow to see who it was. Shock registered when the screen flashed the picture she’d snapped of Blake sitting in his wheelchair with that cheesy grin on his face. Her heart fluttered at the sight of the man she’d fallen in love with so long ago.
She sat up so quickly, her head spun. Why would he be calling? Hadn’t he made it clear when he wheeled out the door that he wanted nothing to do with her? As if he were at her door instead of on the phone, she smoothed out the tangled rat's nest that settled in the back of her head.
Answer the phone, dummy.
She grabbed for it and answered before it was lost forever in the depths on an eternal abyss. Okay, so maybe she was a bit over dramatic, but if she didn’t answer, would he call again?
“Hello?” The word cracked, and she took a deep breath to calm herself.
“Linny? Is that you?”
“Hi. Yes, it’s me.”
“What’s wrong with your voice. You sound — are you coming down with something?”
She didn’t dare tell the man that she’d spent almost an entire week lying in bed, feeling sorry for herself. That she hadn’t used her vocal cords once in as many days.
“Oh, it’s just allergies.” She didn’t have allergies. It just happened to be the first thing that popped into her head. “What’s up?”
“I want to apologize to you—”
“No, Blake. Don’t. I shouldn’t have expected anything from you. I was wrong, and I pressured you into . . . I mean, I thought—” I thought there was something between us. That you felt the same way for me that I felt for you. If only she could express her true feelings out loud.
“I have full custody.”
“You . . . What? What do you mean?”
“My kids. I have full custody. My wife—” His voice pitched as he took a breath. “She didn’t want them. She couldn’t be bothered.” He let out a deep sigh.
Linda took in his words. He was a single dad. That’s why he had to leave. He had a responsibility to his children.
“I should have told you,” he continued when she didn’t speak. “It’s just that, well, the whole thing has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for them. They’re just now getting around to some kind of normalcy. And well, Ceecee, she gets upset if I’m gone for too long.”
“Blake, I’m so sorry. I’ve been so selfish.”
“You didn’t know. I should have told you right from the start, but, well, to be honest, I was a bit apprehensive about it.”
“Why? I knew you had kids.”
“I know, but when you called, I’d been so deeply depressed. Your voice was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t want to put a damper on that. I wanted to see you. And when I did . . .” His voice lowered into a whisper. “Feelings I’d tucked away long ago, surfaced. And it scared me.”
“So, you ran?”
“I ran. Like you said, it’s what I do best. My ex-wife used to tell me the same thing.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Yes, you did. And you were right. I have to . . . I can’t . . . the night I . . .” His voice grew hoarse. “That night a drunk driver hit me, my ex and I had just gotten into an argument. I was angry, so I did what I’d done countless times before. I jumped into my car and raced out of town. If I’d have only stayed and worked things out . . .”
“You couldn’t have known.”
“No. But that’s my point. I ran so long and so hard that the only way God could slow me down was to take away my legs. He’d tried to warn me, show me, help me. But did I listen? No. I ruined things with you, and then I ruined my marriage. And now . . . I’m a single dad, trying to support my family from a wheelchair, and I’m still running.”
“Then why don’t you stop?” Linda whispered.
“I don’t know how. I tried. I don’t—” the man on the other side of the line sobbed into the phone.
Linda’s heart broke for him. She’d spent all this time in bed, feeling sorry for herself, for her life, and here, this man struggled to do the right thing for his family . . . from a wheelchair.
“I love you, Blake McKenzie.” It was out before she could grab it back.
The phone went silent for a moment. “Linda, I have loved you for so long. I just never thought the two of us would find each other again. And now I have three kids. My obligation is to them. They need me.”
“Why don’t you . . . Do you think maybe your family could use a vacation? I have plenty of room here. You could come down and bring the kids with you. I’d love to meet them. And Luna . . .” Luna was gone. How could she make plans when her daughter was missing?
“Are you sure? Yeah, okay. Maybe we can come up with a game plan on where to look for your . . . our daughter.”
“Yeah. I’d like that.�
�� I’d like that a lot.
She had no idea what she was doing or where it would lead, but she was willing to find out. Besides, it wasn’t like she had a job to get back to. She mentally slapped her forehead. As soon as they left, she would have to call Bob and beg for her job back. Good thing for her, she was an avid saver. She’d learned as a struggling single parent to scrimp and save every dime she got, and it had worked well for her. She had a bit of backup in her account and would be fine for a month or two if she needed it.Together they made plans for Blake and his family to come back out for a week of vacation. Blake assured her that he hadn’t taken leave in over a year, and it would be no problem to get the time off on short notice.
She hung up with a sense of vibrancy she hadn’t felt since her senior year in high school. He’d loved her all this time.
Too bad it took their daughter being missing for them to realize it.
Chapter 25 - Jacob
“What is going on?” a familiar voice spoke from behind.
Jacob turned to a frantic Abigail, staring wildly at him. The fear in her eyes spoke volumes.
“Blessed day, Abigail.”
Blessed day, Abigail? That is all you can say? There was nothing blessed about the day.
“My father said I was . . . Jacob, I am only thirteen. I cannot be your wife. I do not even know . . .”
“I am taking care of it. Do not worry.”
“What do you mean? Am I being punished for my actions? I—”
“Punished? Is marrying me so much of a punishment?” He tried to smile. “Wait. Why would you be punished? You did not do anything, right?”
“No . . . Yes . . . Jacob, I was only . . . It was me. I saw the two of you that day in the barn. I was the one who told my father. But I did not know. I had no knowledge you . . . that Rachel was . . . I was only trying to stop you and her from defiling your lives . . . I had no knowledge you already had—”
“It was you?” Anger flared in Jacob’s nostrils as his face heated. “You did this? You got your own sister fleshed-out? Banished? Thrown on the streets to fend for herself . . . with a child!”
The Chosen Page 12