by r. h. Sin
but hey,
I’m working on it, right?
And it’s a struggle
I go through every day.
The same as everyone else,
and that doesn’t mean anything,
other than the fact
that I’m just like you.
I’m the same person
I have always been
and I always will be.
A million followers or not.
I’m still the same
young boy looking for a way out.
Looking for a way in . . .
that is,
into my own head
and my own heart
and being known has nothing
to do with it.
I’m still searching
for all the things
that bring me happiness.
It is the pursuit
that drives me
all along.
SOCIETY
We blame society
but we are society.
Teach the children
to be better,
to be different.
The world
is full of
second chances.
We could still
save our home
and we could still
change our hearts
to create
a better tomorrow.
REJOICE IS PERFECT
Genocide is not profitable.
Destruction is not beautiful.
Death may bring peace
but not under the cloth of violence.
Please save our people.
Please heal our children,
women, and men.
Please bring hope
back into our lives.
We seek peace, not war.
We seek love, not hatred.
We seek togetherness,
not isolation.
We need one another.
We need trust, change,
and revolution.
We need humanity
to crawl itself back
to our hearts.
(Where it originally came from.)
We need hands
rich of life
and not death
and emptiness.
We need rejoice.
Rejoice.
Rejoice.
Pain is not the celebrity.
Let us,
the people who feel
not worship the wrath,
the control of the banks.
Let us,
the people who love
brace together
and overcome their hate.
Give us back our people.
Give us back the love
we once had for ourselves.
Give us back our dreams
you stole.
Give us back our confidence.
Give us back everything
that belongs to us . . .
and give it back with interest.
There’s still
so much we can do
with whatever bit
they give
us back.
STORMS
Summer rainstorms,
calm seashores,
and gentle nights
full of stars.
And I think,
this is where
the year ends
but this must be
how the chaos of me
begins.
B. OBAMA
I did a post once
about Obama.
After that
I could tell
how many of you
loved him
and how many of you
hated him.
I don’t know why
each side is on
each side.
I wrote about him
because I was inspired
at the very least
by his farewell speech.
He said,
“Yes, we can.
Yes, we did.
Yes, we can.”
The crowd raged,
they raged in light
and love, they raged.
Now back to my post.
I found this pic of him
throwing a football
in the oval office.
I had never seen a president
do something so humanizing.
It inspired me a little more.
I wrote “legacy”
on the caption, across the feeds . . .
for millions to see.
Out of good things
sometimes
come bad things.
With a heart full of positivity
sometimes hatred
isn’t too far away.
Many of my readers were angry.
Upset because I made a post
out of respect to our president,
to our leader,
regardless of what he has done,
whether good or bad.
Many began to unfollow me,
which I came to this conclusion
after that.
If you want this world to heal,
then we must all be open
to the opinions of others.
We must all respect
one another as equals.
How in the world
do you expect to function,
to earn peoples’ hearts?
Put it like this,
now if you have a friend
who appreciates something
you don’t,
you’re going to unfriend them
over it?
Perhaps not, right?
But it’s the same idea.
I honored Obama
and got hate for it?
Well, my old friends,
that says more about you
than it does . . . about me.
Overcome the hatred.
Overcome the narrow path.
Not everyone is going
to agree with you.
Not everyone is going
to feel the same way.
GET OVER YOURSELF . . .
and let in
instead of out.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you did.
Yes, you can.
THE REALIZATION
How could you
think you are weak
when every time you break,
you come back stronger
than before?
PIERCING SOUL
I can see it
in your eyes,
you’re hiding something
or maybe even
someone.
So keep telling yourself
you don’t need me
to help you
because
one day,
I’m going to find you
and you won’t lose
yourself again.
And when it happens
whatever it is you’re hiding
will come out
and believe me,
it will inspire you
to love yourself
again.
FEELS FAMILIAR
And when I am
with you,
everything feels familiar.
Like two people
&n
bsp; finding love
after a lifetime
of watching it
slip
through their hands.
WANT IT OR NOT
The soul prays,
whether you know it
or not.
There is a divine signal
coming from the middle
of your brain,
where all the atoms break.
Believe in this,
that the soul prays
and when it does
it asks for all the things
you’re asking for
whether you’re asking
or not.
Believe in this,
when good things happen,
when bad things happen.
When tears flood
through your eyes
and when laughter
swells your lungs.
Believe that the soul prays.
Believe that it prepares you
for all things
whether you want it
or not.
Believe in this.
Believe in words,
feelings,
and things you cannot see.
Like signals,
symbols,
and the way your heart
breathes.
It is true,
that the soul prays,
whether you know it
or not.
Believe in this
before you go.
Believe that all things
that happen . . .
come to us
whether we want it
or not.
ENOUGH IS NEVER ENOUGH
There is enough
human suffering in you
to collapse a building . . .
so why cause damage
to other people?
Why pain,
hate, and tears?
Why not love,
kindness, and laughter?
I know it’s difficult
but the effort
is worth a place
in the sun.
Love hard
and love broken people
even harder.
OF COURSE
Yes, of course,
I could survive on my own.
I could swim,
run, think, and break
without the help
of other people.
I love myself
and I have always looked out
for myself
the best way I know how.
But I swear,
sometimes I feel the urge
to be held,
understood, and loved
in the sweetest way.
Sometimes,
I do need someone
to talk to,
to hold on to,
to love, and to live with
as well.
Sometimes,
I just need someone
to lean on over
and whisper:
“I can’t see
another day
without you
and I need you
in my life
just as much
as you need me
in yours.”
That’s all.
BEST KIND . . .
Everyone is going to see you
how they see you
no matter what you do
or say.
No matter how good
you are
or how bad things get.
You are you,
so keep slaying, baby.
Self-love
is the best kind
of love
and there’s no doubt
about that.
DISTANCE 2
Distance is more
than two objects apart.
It is the struggle
we all go through
when the heart
and the mind
can’t seem
to get along.
I AM NOT SORRY
I’m sorry
I’m cold with you.
I’m sorry
at times,
I don’t know what to do
or what to say.
And I’m sorry
I never have
the right words
for you.
It’s just,
I’ve dealt with hearts
that don’t break
too lightly.
Hard hearts, you know . . .
hearts that have seen
too much,
felt too much
to even flinch
a little
when it all goes wrong.
And I’ve dealt
with fragile hearts, too,
ones that shatter
the moment the air shifts
away from them.
Yes, life is hard
and loving someone
is even harder,
and right now
you caught me
at a difficult time
in my life,
a time
where I put myself first.
A time
where I only have
my own problems
to care about,
to deal with.
Yes, it is true,
I know it sounds selfish,
but I love who I am
and because of that,
I don’t want to sugarcoat
how it is . . .
that is,
if the world is fucked up
then that’s how
I want you to see it,
you know?
I won’t protect you
from the truth,
from what hurts.
I’m not afraid
to make you feel bad
at the cost of being honest,
at the cost
of being myself.
Shit,
as if we don’t have it
bad enough already.
And yes,
I know the both of us
have let go
many people,
both good and bad,
and because of it,
if I must break you,
then I will.
And if you must
break me . . .
then so be it.
I love you,
and I’m ready
no matter what you do
or what you say.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
And I
have nowhere else
to go.
IT FEELS THE WAY IT FEELS
It hurts . . .
of course it does,
because we were
made to hurt.
To feel.
To try to understand
even when we know
we cannot.
It hurts . . .
of course it does,
and at times,
we won’t know
what to say,
but we will try
even if the words
are hard to project.
It hurts . . .
of course it does,
to wat
ch you,
the people
we care about
go through hell
and not having
the power
to heal them
the way we should.
It hurts . . .
of course it does,
to breathe memories,
the ones
that take you back
to a place
when it all made sense.
Where the fire of pain
was smaller
than it is now.
It hurts . . .
of course it does,
as it always does.
When love isn’t enough,
strong enough
to save the one you need.
It hurts . . .
of course it does.
The solitude.
The ache.
The longing
to be understood
and
the craving
of human interaction . . .
of touch,
of laughter,
and watching it
slip before
our naked eyes.
My dear,
it hurts,
all of it,
of course it does . . .
And the wounds
are deep enough,
they always are.
And they will always
hurt a little more
than before.
My dear,
it hurts,
believe that you
cannot outrun this.
Abandon this.
Destroy this
pool of feelings.
Understand,
how pain
is the curse
that will tear you apart
but also,
the blessing
that will bring us all
closer together.
Understand
that sometimes
life isn’t beautiful.
That sometimes
life is hell
but we’d rather feel
the chaos
than feel
nothing
at all.
ABOUT YOU
You have so much
inside of you.
Like a thousand oceans
and a thousand moons
and here you are . . .
hurting over something
you’ll soon grow out of . . .
something
you’ll soon forget.
So why carry this pain?
When all the love
in the universe dwells
within you.
Find it.
The happiness you’re seeking
begins
and will always
begin . . .
with you.
I OFTEN . . .
I often think
of whom it is
you are thinking of
right before
you go to sleep
and sometimes
I wonder
if it is me.
I wonder,
and I cannot say