“No! No!” he yelled.
I looked over the ledge in time to see McKinsey tumbling toward the bottom. Her arms and legs swam through the air, but did nothing to slow her descent. Her cries for help were piercing, her body falling in slow motion as everything ground to a stop.
There was a realization on her face that I knew would haunt me for the rest of my life. Her eyes stared right through me, boring into my soul, begging for a miracle that I didn’t have. All I could do was watch and swallow the pain and horror I felt, knowing that very second was her last.
Trevor looked like he wanted to jump over the side after her. I grabbed him and pulled him away just as her body hit the rocks below with a sound that brought me to my knees. Trevor collapsed into me and in that split second, the world stopped moving and every childish belief I’d ever held onto burst into nothing.
CHAPTER 18
PARTING OF WAYS
“What!?” Chase growled. “What the fuck did you say to me? What the fuck did you just say?”
His eyes were bulging from his head as he roared in anger. His fists were clenched tightly at his side and dried blood painted his arms from the pig they’d just skinned.
I looked him in his eyes, hesitant to repeat the tragic news. Keyon and Antonio were standing beside Chase, sharing apprehensive glances, but that was as much help as they were going to offer. Hanson was standing behind him, rocking on the balls of his feet. He knew Chase wasn’t stable.
“She’s dead Chase,” I said again in a solemn tone.
“No!” he shouted and lunged at me.
His hefty paws slammed into my shoulders. I flew backwards, stumbling to catch myself before falling into the dirt.
“What the hell?” I groaned as I picked myself up.
Chase stormed through the cave, screaming obscenities and swinging his arms through the air. Reggie and Sherry were in the corner consoling each other and Trevor was a few feet away with his arms folded across his chest.
“How? Why?” Chase snapped.
Keyon tried to grab his arm, but he snatched away then started back toward me. I tensed up, but decided if he charged me again he was gonna get punched in his stupid face.
“Calm down man,” Antonio said.
“Calm down? Calm down!” Chase yelped. “He said McKinsey is…. he said McKinsey.” He couldn’t finish his sentence. His voice broke in sharp arcs as he fell to his knees and buried his head into his hands.
He stayed that way for a while, silently crying on the floor and shaking with anger. No one knew what to do. He was unpredictable and getting to a point that I was starting to worry about everyone’s safety.
Hanson slowly approached him and held out his hand. “Come on man…you gotta calm down.”
“Where is she?” Chase asked suddenly in a dark, brooding tone. “Where is she?! Where the fuck is she?!”
“Chase, you can’t, she’s…she’s gone,” I replied.
“How? What happened?”
“She fell, into the rocks.”
“I wanna see for myself.”
“You can’t. The waves, they took her away,” I muttered then lowered my head as the memory of watching McKinsey fall to her death stabbed my heart.
“She was with him, wasn’t she?” Chase asked as he spun around and beamed at Trevor. “You asshole!”
He charged him, leaping into the air and tackling Trevor. They both slid into the dirt, with Chase landing on top. Sitting up, he began to pummel Trevor like a crazed gorilla.
My feet couldn’t move fast enough. I rushed toward them and grabbed Chase’s arm then yanked him backwards. He fell to the side, but shucked me away and started back at Trevor.
“I’ll kill you! You’re fucking dead!” he roared.
Trevor snapped out his leg and kicked Chase in the face. He was stunned for a second, but the blow barely phased him. Blind rage consumed him and the madness in his eyes said there was no reasoning.
I could hear Amber and Chloe shouting and crying for help in the background, but it was like everything else was fading away. All I could see was Trevor and Chase tangled in battle and feel the desperate need to stop them.
“Chase!” I shouted and dove onto his back.
I wrapped my arm around his neck in a headlock and pulled. He grabbed my wrist and started to pry my arms apart, but I tightened them and yanked back even harder. He gurgled then with a muted grunt, bit down on my hand.
“Fuck!” I shouted as I let go and fell back.
By that time, Trevor had scrambled to his feet, but Chase quickly jumped up as well. With a growl, Chase swung, and Trevor ducked then slammed his fist into Chase’s ear. He staggered a little then bolted at Trevor.
The cave erupted in panic as they thundered through the sleeping area, locked in battle. Chloe shouted for me to help Trevor as if she couldn’t tell that I was trying. Even Reggie and Sherry had stepped into the fray, screaming at Chase and yelling for Antonio, Keyon and Hanson to stop him.
I lunged at him again. This time wrapping my arms around his waist and wrestling him to the ground. Chase was massive and had crazy strength, but I’d be damned if I let him beat on my brother.
My attempt to help Trevor seemed to work. As we fell to the ground and rolled over a few rocks, Chase turned his aggression on me instead.
Grimacing in silence, Chase wheeled around and brought his fist crashing into the side of my head. I was crouched on my hands and knees and fell face first into the dirt at the impact. I saw stars for a moment, but that confusion quickly turned to anger.
Chase towered over me and grabbed my hair then wrenched my head backward. With a huff, he slammed my face back into the dirt several times then stepped over me to continue his attack on Trevor.
I latched onto his leg as he passed and pulled hard, tripping him up. Clawing my way onto his back, I jabbed my elbow into his side then punched him in the side of the face as he roared in agony. He shook off the blow then shot his fist out and hit me in the nose. The pain was blinding and a sudden wash of tears burned my eyes and fell down my cheeks.
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Amber yelled. “Break them up!”
I turned to find out who she was talking to and Chase took that opportunity to hit me again then ram his knee into my stomach. I doubled over, but not before I saw Trevor whiz by and deliver a soccer kick to the back of Chase’s leg.
“You’re dead!” Chase shouted.
I rolled over onto my back, struggling to breathe. My head swam in circles and I clenched my side and swallowed air in tiny gasps. I winced with every shallow breath, my mind flashing back to childhood moments when I had the wind knocked out of me playing football. What I wouldn’t give to go back to that time.
As the pain subsided I clambered into a kneeling position and felt a surge of rage swell from some place deep. Reaching out, I picked up a small rock from the ground and rolled it around in my palm before looking up.
Chase had Trevor pinned to the ground. He was sitting on top of him, hammering down his massive fists like a psychotic chimpanzee. Trevor was doing his best to protect his self, but he was taking a beating.
With a primal roar, I jumped up and rushed toward them. I swung my hand wildly and clobbered Chase in the side of the head with the rock. His body went limp then he crumbled to the ground beside Trevor with a solid thud.
“You killed him!” Sherry screamed.
“Fuck him,” Trevor retorted as he spat out a mouthful of blood. “That idiot was gonna kill me.”
I dropped the rock and stared down at his lifeless body. A wave of emotions flowed through me from fear and anger to a feeling of complete detachment. I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t want to be anywhere.
I hated the monsters we’d become. The cold indifference, the constant emotional swings that sent us spiraling toward insanity. None of us belonged there.
“He’s breathing,” Hanson called out in relief as he placed a hand on his chest.
“Too bad,”
Trevor replied.
Before I could think, that angry demon reared his head again and I turned to Trevor and grabbed him by the collar. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”
“Daniel!” Chloe called, but I wouldn’t be reasoned with.
“You killed that fucking girl Trevor!”
“What?! She fell, you know she fell.”
“But you just had to go up there. You had to be Mr. I don’t give a shit! What, you wanted to show her how cool you were? What the fuck were you doing there?”
“I told you already. I was getting the guava,” he replied and glanced at the bag next to the fire that was full of the green fruit. “Sherry and Reggie helped. McKinsey just fell, it wasn’t my fault.”
“It’s never your fault Trevor, is it? You only think about yourself. But you got someone killed this time.”
He glared at me with tears in his eyes, but I didn’t’ look away. He had to learn, he had to grow up. That was the only way we would survive that place.
There was a sudden rustle behind me and I turned around as Chase slowly staggered to his feet. A trickle of blood rolled down his head and he stared toward me with glossy eyes.
Leaning on Keyon’s shoulder, Chase held a ripped t-shirt to his head then shot a finger out toward Trevor. “This isn’t over!” he snapped.
Trevor’s eyes flipped from Chase to me and then back. He took a deep breath and rolled his fists up and clenched his jaw. “Fuck the both of you!” he growled then snatched away from me and stormed out of the cave.
“Trevor!” Chloe called and started to run after him.
I grabbed her arm. “Let him go, just let him go.”
CHAPTER 19
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
It’d been a week since I’d seen Trevor. Amber had spotted him a few times down on the beach, but he was making a concerted effort to avoid me. The fact that he was staying in the retreat we found at the back of the cave made his scarcity even more impressive. I imagined he waited until we were all out for the day before making his way to the other side.
Not having him around was like missing a piece of myself, especially now. He’d always been there for me and me for him. But he needed to grow up and if he had to be alone while he figured that out then it was for the best.
The days seemed to blur together. Weeks, months, who knew how long we’d been there. Things like weekends or holidays didn’t exist anymore. Phones, the internet, technology in general had faded to oblivion along with worries of popularity or who had the craziest Snapchat story. The only thing that mattered was right now, each passing day, just trying to survive in that moment. I tried my best to forget about yesterday and I feared what hid behind tomorrow. Today was all we had.
“You should go talk to him,” Amber said.
I turned my head and found her staring at me like she knew my thoughts before they formed. I’d drifted off into the depths of my mind and forgot that I was supposed to be helping her look for fish. Cocking her head to the side, she smiled at me then reached out and rubbed my shoulder.
“Go talk to him,” she repeated.
I shrugged. “Maybe in a few days. I don’t think he’s ready just yet.”
“It’s been a week.”
“So, a few more days won’t matter,” I replied with a smile then gave her a kiss. “Come on. We can’t let Chloe be the only one that can catch a fish.”
We spent the next few hours trying to spear one of the multi-colored fish that zoomed around our feet. Amber managed to catch three, but my mind was elsewhere. The rift between me and Trevor, and McKinsey’s death were a heavy burden that wouldn’t go away. I felt worn down, and the more I tried to act normal, the worse I felt. I still had nightmares about Conner, it all seemed unnatural.
The sun’s rays bent through the water and bounced of the sandy bottom, hiding fish in the ghost like reflections. Every now and then a dolphin would jump out in the distance and scare a school of fish toward us, but I still couldn’t snag one. Eventually I dragged myself from the surf and gave up.
“You’re quiet,” Amber said as we made our way back up the trail.
I shrugged my shoulders and offered a weak smile. “I’ll be okay.”
“I know you will…I know you will.”
I looked at Amber as she smiled then quickened her pace up the hill. She was always so upbeat, always moving forward. It was such a contrast from the person she was when we arrived here.
“How do you do it?” I asked before I even thought about the question.
“Do what?”
“Deal with all of it and not fall apart.”
Amber stopped walking and turned to face me. She put a hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side, considering me with her green eyes that beamed right into my core. She really was beautiful and of all the things that had happened in the last few months, she was the one shining light.
“I just don’t dwell on it,” she said lowly. “It hurts…Connor was my friend and I’ve known McKinsey since I was little, but I focus on moving forward.”
“That simple huh?” I grinned trying to hide my skepticism.
“No, it’s not. But I found a guy…and he’s kinda alright. And maybe I love him, and he doesn’t know it, but it’s because of him that I can keep going.”
“I’d love to meet him.”
She started to laugh. “Idiot.”
“Well, I might love you too,” I replied.
“Oh? But I was talking about your brother.” Amber winked then started back up the hill.
Laughing, I followed her. Having Amber around certainly made the life of a castaway worth living.
Another few days passed that were almost identical to the ones that came before them. Me, Chloe and Amber split our time between fishing and filling our makeshift jugs with water. We’d gotten the hang of throwing spears and it was more recreation time than actual work. But it kept my mind busy.
What always lurked behind our menial tasks was that our little community was starting to fall apart. Chase, Keyon, Hanson and Antonio spent the daylight hours hunting and when we gathered together in the evening they hardly said a word. Reggie and Sherry would pop their head out every now and then, but everyone had split into their own separate factions.
I’d seen Trevor two or three times and while he wasn’t all out avoiding me, he made sure not to look my way when we passed. I still didn’t know what to say to him, but Amber was right, we needed to talk. So, the morning when I woke up, I headed deeper into the cave to try and find him.
I left the flashlights behind and grabbed a twisted tree branch. Chloe had wrapped some branches with torn clothes and doused them in boat fuel. It worked a lot better than the flashlights and helped us conserve the batteries.
The flame danced and crackled as I moved through the darkness. The smell of marine diesel filled my nostrils and I yearned for the fresh, ocean air that I’d come to love. How would I ever go back to the urban sprawls of my home?
As the cave opened and the sun found its way in, I stabbed the branch into the ground and left it burning. Stepping out into the clearing, I stared around and rubbed my eyes as I gathered my bearings. The jungle roared with life, birds spun tales of wild adventures and unknown creatures cackled a vibrant chorus.
I took a deep breath then started down the trail that led around the lagoon. Mist collected on my face, mixing with dirt and sweat turning into a thick film. I wiped at the smudge and frowned, rubbing the slime between my fingers then shook my hands off.
Everywhere I looked I could see signs that Trevor had been carving out his out little space back there. There were trees that had been stripped down and trails crisscrossing through the field where he’d been tearing around. Trevor had been a busy boy.
“What the fuck do you want?” a voice called from behind me.
I turned and found Trevor leaning against a palm tree with a spear in his hand. He’d taken his shirt off and tied it around his head and had a bundle of rope-like vines under
his arm.
“I said what do you want? Your boyfriend kick you out or something?”
“I…I, came to check on you,” I stuttered.
He mumbled under his breath and cut his eyes. “Well, I’m fine so now you can go on back home.”
“Trevor.”
“Daniel?”
“Don’t be like this.”
“Like what? Like my own brother sided with a fucking meathead gorilla over his own blood?”
“You know it wasn’t that.”
“Do I? Do I know that Daniel?”
“Dude…you know what it was. Do I really have to say it?”
He didn’t respond. Clenching his teeth, he turned his head and looked back toward the cave. I took a deep breath and stepped toward him.
“Look man, you’re my best friend,” I started. “I’ll always have your back…I didn’t choose Chase over you, hell I hit him in the head with a fucking rock, but we’re not home anymore. Everything here, everything has consequences. Every place we go, every risk we take, it could mean someone’s life.”
Trevor turned back toward me and wiped tears from his eyes. “And you think I didn’t know that? I didn’t mean for her to die. I had to watch her, I had to lay there helpless as she slipped from my hands. You don’t think I knew that it was all my fault? You wanted to be dad Daniel, when I needed my brother."
Those words stabbed me in my heart. I never gave any thought to what all of this was doing to him. I felt ashamed.
“I…I didn’t know,” I stuttered.
Suddenly, something rumbled in the distance and the ground shook underneath my feet. I steadied myself then looked toward the sound.
“What the hell was that?” Trevor said in a unsure tone.
Another boom sounded and a chunk of rock fell from the cliff and splashed into the lagoon. The jungle floor wobbled from side to side and started to split apart. A thick, palm tree fell over and hit the ground with a deafening thud. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it was an earthquake.
“Let’s go!” I shouted as I took off running back toward the cave.
Deconstruction- The Complete series Box Set Page 65