“But, that's exactly my point,” Orson continued, trying to take the silly argument as far as he could. That was just the kind of boy he was. “You take down things ten times this size. There's no reason you can't catch some fish. And if you do, then us boys will cook it. We can have a campout tonight.” Orson rubbed his hands together excitedly. Roman looked to Isaiah and saw his frown. Their oldest brother clearly knew what Orson was up to. He was trying to get out of going home at all. It made Roman sad that his brother didn't feel okay sleeping in his own bed; and that there was such a divide between the three of them, sometimes.
Tamara was so much more than just a friend or a buddy in Roman’s eyes. She was the glue keeping all three of them together. She was the common denominator. They never disagreed about her.
Tamara made a face as she walked over and looked down at the fish beating against the current. It was the kind of face you would expect from a young girl told to touch a fish, but perhaps, not from a girl who could turn into a wolf. “You know I can’t turn at will yet,” she commented, pulling her head up to look at Orson. Tamara had not reached that important milestone yet, and neither had Orson. It was normal, especially for female members of the pack. They had a harder time learning to control the change. There were speculations, but no one was totally sure as to why.
“So? Catch it with your bare hands. Humans have been doing it for centuries. That is, unless you’re too scared,” Orson taunted. Those were the words Roman knew were going to work. Tamara never wanted to seem cowardly or weak. She hated, even in a werewolf pack, that women were treated that way. She wanted to be tough like the boys.
“Hmph,” she said, going to stand in the water as it came up to her knees. It was likely a little on the cold side, but Tamara didn't show any hesitation. She stood there, still, allowing the fish to swim around her like she was only a statue. It was the most brilliant strategy Roman had ever seen.
Then, just as everyone's eyes were on her, and she seemed to be focused, Tamara bent down and snatched up two in her tiny hands like she was some kind of ninja. They flopped around in her grasp as she passed them over to Orson, who looked both impressed and surprised. “Think you can do something with these?” she asked triumphantly, pushing her hair back behind her, again.
“Sure, but there are four of us. Can you repeat that again?” Orson asked, starting a fire and killing the two fish so they could be gutted.
Tamara wiggled her eyebrows and went back into her statue state, returning the waters and fish below her to the same calm they had before. It was the first time Roman knew Tamara was something so very special. He wanted to be the one she chose, one day; not Isaiah.
Roman brought his knees up to his chest, feeling like the world was crashing down on him. If anything, the memory had reminded him of the things he had lost, or rather, the people. His mother and father were both gone, no longer there to offer advice or a kick in the ass when he needed it most. Orson was gone, never even really there. Roman had been seeing his younger brother wrong all those years. He should have been saving him. Instead, he let the boy grow into an evil man; one who would betray his own family to gain power. Now, Tamara was gone, taken away by the very man, he was certain, who would not ever give into the forced flirtations of a girl. Especially the girl he had always seen as nothing more than a very close friend.
Roman had watched her fall for Orson already and had given into it. He had believed, naively, that if they loved each other, Orson would be strengthened inside and out, by her beauty and intelligence.
Isaiah had never been a threat beyond his status as the rightful new leader, once their father died. Roman had been certain that bridge had burned the moment she and Orson had kissed, and it would never be thought of again.
Tamara was not saving Isaiah from anything. Instead, they were destroying each other. Why couldn't they see that? The biggest problem was, he had no right to say anything directly to his brother about it. It would be disrespectful.
Roman knew, though, that now it didn't matter. The way Roman had behaved would not be taken lightly, and he doubted that Tamara would keep it a secret. She rejected him and the idea of being with him instead of Isaiah. She was determined to marry a man she could never fully love, and with that came respecting him and following the rules of his station as alpha. She could get in a lot of trouble herself for that kiss if he found out another way. She would be forced to confess everything to Isaiah. Roman was as good as dead. He would have no family left at the end of this.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Isaiah looked at Hector like he didn't quite understand what Hector had said. And truly, it felt like he might have been speaking another language, with the way his brain was reacting to the news he had just heard. Tamara’s hand flew on top of Isaiah’s, and he looked down on it, using it as something to focus on while he wrapped his head around what the man, who had guarded both him and his father, was sharing with them.
“I’m sorry, Hector, but I think I just heard you say that you knew who killed my mother.” Isaiah squinted at his young guard, hoping that he had somehow been so crazy from everything else that had happened that he had heard wrong.
“I did say that.” Hector’s face was sunken, resembling a zombie, or at least someone that needed food, water, and sleep.
“Then, why would you have not come forward when I became alpha, Hector?” Isaiah asked through gritted teeth, as Tamara continued to squeeze his hand. He knew that it was a signal, a message, telling him to be calm and reasonable. But, how could he? The man who he had trusted to guard him had been keeping a secret about the death of his mother. He only recently learned she didn’t die of a simple illness. He was tired of being the last to know everything.
“I would have, if I had realized, sooner, what it was all about,” Hector explained, putting his head in his hands. “I am privy to a lot of conversations between the alpha and those who surround him. I would suspect that the alpha wants me to keep those under wraps; to pretend like I never heard anything. So, that was what I always did, with your father. I kept his secrets. What was discussed between him and his family on his deathbed didn't feel like it should be any different until everything else began to unravel. I truly didn’t know.” His voice cracked in distress. It was one of the only times Isaiah had truly seen him as the young boy he was. He was just a boy, thrust into an important position, so soon. He couldn’t be so harsh on him.
“Wait,” Tamara said, looking between the two men. Isaiah could see the wheels turning. “You said it has to do with a conversation between his father and family. That would mean that someone close to the family killed Isaiah's mother?” It came out as an incredulous question. Isaiah could see where her thinking was headed. The thing was, only one family member was on Isaiah's mind; his father.
Hector only nodded, temporarily unable to voice the words that would confirm which family member did the awful deed. Isaiah knew that it had been best revealed on the man’s deathbed; otherwise, one of the three brothers would have stomped the man’s life out and faced the consequences. He had suddenly gone from the worst father ever, to a cold-hearted killer. It was hard not to be on his dead brother's side when it came to the man now.
“It was my father.” Isaiah looked to Tamara when he said it, hoping to finally see that partnership there, the one he needed from her. She was damn well trying. It was a step up from before.
“No, it wasn’t,” Hector said firmly, suddenly getting his voice back. “I know why you would think that, but I don’t think so. The conversation I heard them having…. the years... added up to me after we found out your mother had been killed. I would have had a hard time believing it then, but now, I am confident in the possibility.”
“C’mon, Hector, who is it, then?” Tamara asked softly, trying to coax him. Isaiah needed to let her take over right now because his emotions were going to get the better of him. He was just glad Roman was somewhere else. This was news the two could not handle all at once, especially i
f it was Roman’s name that came out of Hector’s mouth. Not that it would make any sense if it was Roman, but Isaiah felt he couldn't trust anyone anymore, not even himself.
“Orson. It was Orson. I am almost positive,” Hector said with a huff, collapsing into himself with relief after getting it off his conscience. Tamara’s eyes went wide as she turned back to Isaiah. Isaiah balled his free hand up into a fist, not knowing if he could ever stand to hear the details that confirmed that one of the awful acts his brother had left behind for them to find, was killing his own mother.
“I don't see how he could have killed our mother,” Isaiah said, feeling himself begin to break down. His emotions were not just for himself, but for his remaining brother. Roman had not gotten over the shock of learning Orson’s betrayal to Isaiah. How would he survive, knowing their brother killed their mother? It was senseless. The whole damn thing was senseless.
“I think there were a lot of dark things about your brother he was able to hide from everyone,” Hector said quietly. “But you know I would never lie to you or make this up. They were fighting, the day your father called to see all of you. They were always fighting. This time, it was like Orson was trying to have it out, one last time. It was like a final purge. Your father was trying to give him every chance to redeem himself. Your mother was mentioned in a derogatory way, and your father was distressed by it and defended her. Then, Orson laughed at him, saying something about didn't he know yet. Orson did not elaborate on it. As the fight continued, he mentioned an event that he would never be redeemed from; a horrible act he had committed a decade earlier.”
“Damn it!” Isaiah cried out, removing his hand out from under Tamara’s. He stood up in rage and anguish, no longer able to hold back the tears. “What am I supposed to tell my brother?” he asked, looking to his mate for help. She always knew what to say and do when it came to all of them. Maybe she was not the best at being there in the way a wife would, but as a friend, she was perfect in all ways. It was why he had listened to Annalise when she told him to choose Tamara, above all others, to be his mate.
“I am so sorry. I never meant for this…” Hector began, but he was quickly silenced by Tamara.
“You don't have to be sorry for anything. We needed to know, and you tried to tell us as soon as it came to you. He just needs time is all, and you look like you might as well. Why don't you make yourself some tea or something, and take a little space, as much as you're allowed.”
Hector nodded in agreement and went to the kitchen.
Tamara turned her attention back to Isaiah, knowing that damage control needed to be done. Anything she had wanted to come and tell him following her encounter with Roman was on the back burner now. He needed her to act like a mate; like a fiancé. It was time for her to prove she was worth his choice. “Isaiah, let’s go to our room and talk about this, okay?” she suggested gently, guiding them into their bedroom before closing the door.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” Isaiah admitted, tears still in his reddened eyes. “My thoughts of Orson were already ruined, but I didn't think I ever expected to hear that he killed our mother. Why would he do that? Despite all his problems, she loved him deeply and unconditionally.” Tamara sat down on the bed beside him, feeling her own tears beginning to sting the corner of her eyes. She couldn’t possibly get through this unaffected, and her last conversation with Orson came flooding back to her like she had just had it. She recalled how he had told her that he was pretty much already damned, that he had hurt other people. Tamara had never suspected one of those people had been his own mother.
“I wish I had an answer, but I didn't even believe it when he betrayed you. I never saw that side of Orson. In fact, there’s a lot about the three of you I never noticed, because I was too busy seeing all of the good things,” Tamara admitted out loud for the first time. That was exactly her problem. She took for granted what she had with them; had assumed none of them had any real flaws, but, of course, they did. They were half human, after all.
“That’s one of the things I love about you,” Isaiah told her, letting her see his red and swollen eyes. Tamara really shouldn’t have let herself get all tangled up over the word, love. Isaiah had said it to her many times, but he meant it like best friends, like siblings, not the way she needed him to mean it. But maybe this was it. It was happening the way it was supposed to; slowly and naturally.
Tamara reached for him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, not wanting to overstep anything, especially when he was in such distress. The two laid down on the bed together, and Tamara found herself in his arms her head on his chest, with her hair sprawled out behind her. She gently rubbed at his chest and the scruff on his chin, in a comforting way, thinking that if this is what it was like to be with Isaiah, that she could see love with it, her whole life.
There didn't always have to be searing passion or undying love. In fact, from what she had seen, those feelings could be dangerous and too all-consuming. Maybe it was best to have something cooperative and quiet. In that way, contentment could be better than happiness.
“It’s going to be alright,” Tamara whispered. “Either way, he is gone. He is paying for his sins, wherever you go for that when you die. It is better this way, that we know after his death. You could never have lived with him as your brother all those years knowing what he had done to your mother.”
Isaiah listened to Tamara’s words and tried to take comfort in them. He was so happy she was there with him, but this was the way she would have been with him whether there was an impending wedding or not. He needed that friendly comfort, but he also needed something else. He needed someone to tell him it was alright to be angry and confused about it all. He needed a woman to tell him it was alright to despise his dead brother for the ultimate pain he had caused the entire family. Tamara was just not that person. As hard as she tried to be, she was not the woman who could comfort him that way.
It didn't matter, though, because the one woman he knew had the capability to comfort him that way could never belong to him. Tamara was his and his forever, and he would have to resign himself to that. He knew he could love her, but he would have to find a way to find that reassurance inside himself from now on, in order to be the husband, she needed and deserved.
As they laid there, Isaiah could feel when Tamara fell sound asleep, her chest rising and falling with each calm, deep breath. He ran his fingers through her deep red hair as his thoughts ran rampant, fears of the past and future coming at him at 90 miles an hour.
He began to wonder about his father and brother, and if he ever knew them at all. Was Orson born evil all along, or was his father determined to turn him that way after years of emotional and physical abuse? How did his mother put up with her own husband and son treating her that way? Why would Orson kill the biggest buffer he had between himself and their father? None of it made any sense, and as his childhood flashed before him, Isaiah began to think about his mother and father.
Isaiah recalled the way his mother worshiped his father and the ground he walked on. She loved him.
He had never seen love and devotion as strong any other time in his life, and he had always wanted that with someone. As he remembered his father, he also recalled how one-sided it all was. Isaiah swore he saw it in private, the love his father had for his mother. He was kindest to her; as kind as he was capable of being. But did he really love her? Did the man truly love anyone, or did he live a miserable life of duty and acting until he died with his sons cursing him?
Isaiah could feel the pain of his possible future turning out just the same. He could not allow himself to get so bitter and so bogged down with his responsibilities that he began to hate the world and everyone in it. His children would be his world, no matter what woman they came from. No, he would never become his father or his brother.
Isaiah sighed and began relaxing each muscle at a time, letting himself fall asleep with Tamara in his arms. He could worry about the consequences of what he learne
d later.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Tamara wrung her hands nervously. It had been two days since the bomb had been dropped on them about Orson, and Tamara still had not been able to tell Isaiah what happened with Roman. It was the wrong time, for sure, but now, Isaiah was getting ready to go see Roman that afternoon. He wanted to tell his brother in person what he’d found out.
Isaiah had cried it all out and been angry. He seemed ready to let his brother into the loop with him. Tamara couldn't send him over there without being honest about what happened with Roman. It just felt wrong, and she also knew that it could put her in a lot of trouble and danger if she didn't confess. Cheating like that was considered treason, and she needed to make it clear; she initiated nothing.
The problem was, that things felt so good between them, finally. Tamara hated to ruin that by telling him she had been kissed by another man, especially his brother.
Isaiah came into the room, fully dressed and ready to have breakfast and go. There was no more waiting to tell him. It was now or never. “Isaiah,” she said, sitting him down on the couch. “I know you’re about to go see Roman, but I need to talk with you first. It’s important.”
“You know I don't like the sound of that,” Isaiah told her. “Everything important has been heartbreaking.” The statement made Tamara's heart break for him all over again. He was right, but hopefully, this would be frustrating, but nothing more. After all, she had not allowed it to go any further than a complete misstep on Roman's part.
Roman was clearly going through a lot of tumultuous emotions, at the moment. There was no telling what he was really thinking or feeling. She knew she could find it within her to forgive him, but could Isaiah do the same after all the betrayal that had come out of his broken family? She would just have to trust Isaiah's big heart would win out in this one.
Chosen Witch Page 11