by Sam Anthony
“There’s always my photo in the company brochure. I look pretty hot in that.”
“You think?” Sophia looked doubtful.
“Don’t you?”
“Meh! This one’s better.” She looked again at the best photo. We really do look good together.”
“Delete it.”
“Whatever you say, sir.”
I watched Sophia painstakingly remove all the pictures, one by one.
“There. All gone,” she said.
“Now empty the deleted photos folder.”
“You really don’t trust me, do you?” She frowned and shook her head, but I don’t think she was cross; just a bit disappointed.
When the evidence was gone forever, I took the phone away from Sophia and put it on the bedside table. Then I rolled on top of her and gave her my I’m-up-for-another-go-if-you-are face.
“Let’s have some memorable sex that we can both think about when we’re pining for each other.”
“Now you’re talking,” she said.
◆◆◆
Summer has finally arrived.
This is my favourite time of the year, especially when we go away for our family vacation. These are the two weeks when my sex life with Tamsin changes beyond recognition. It goes from second gear to fuel-injected turbo boost. The ratio of initiation goes from 10:1 to 1:1.
The one problem with my summer holiday is Sophia. She’s decidedly unhappy about the prospect of two whole weeks without seeing me, or even being able to communicate with me. We had a long conversation about this in bed on the Friday before the vacation. So long, in fact, that we only managed to have sex once, and then had a bit of an argument.
◆◆◆
“That was lovely, babe. How am I going to cope without having you to satisfy my womanly urges for such a long time?” Sophia said, snuggling closer.
“I’m sure you’ll manage.” I kissed her on the forehead. “It’s only for a couple of weeks. You’ve always got your huge sex-toy collection.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it. I need you, babe. Aren’t you going to miss me too?”
She looked up at me, studying my face closely.
“Definitely. I love our time together.”
She frowned. I got the impression that wasn’t the reply she was hoping for.
“So do I. But do you miss me when we’re apart?”
“You know I do.”
“Well, you never say it.”
“I miss you, Soph. I think about you all the time.” I said.
“You mean you think of different kinky ways we can have sex together, but do you actually think about me?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“You will message me when you’re away, won’t you?”
I paused. I really didn’t want to. I’d rather have a lovely family holiday; spend some quality time with my wife and kids, and have a couple of weeks off from feeling like an anxious, guilty adulterer. Is that too much to ask?
“I won’t be able to, babe. I usually switch my phone off the whole time I’m on vacation.”
“I don’t believe you. You use your phone all the time: you look at the news, make restaurant reservations, check social media and the weather forecast. There’s no way it’ll be off all the time,” she said.
“Okay, I hardly ever use it. I certainly don’t have it on the beach or by the pool. Most of the time it’ll be switched off in a drawer somewhere. Honestly.”
“Couldn’t you at least send me one message a day? Just so I know you’re all right and you haven’t forgotten about me.”
“I’d really rather not, Soph. It’s only two weeks. I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get back.”
She didn’t reply.
She didn’t seem happy at all.
I was just about to break the awkward silence when she blurted out, “You’re not going to have sex with her, are you?”
◆◆◆
I’m really quite proud of myself for doing such a good job of concealing my affair. It hasn’t been easy, but I think I’ve managed to avoid all the potential pitfalls and, when things haven’t quite gone to plan, I’ve successfully improvised my way out of trouble. I’m pretty sure that Tamsin doesn’t suspect a thing; but even if she does, she doesn’t have any evidence to support her suspicions.
Sophia and I have got away with our adultery by adhering to the fifteen rules that I painstakingly put together.
I do a mental audit of the rules:
1. Neither of us has told anyone about our affair (apart from me telling Jake, but I had to, and I can trust him.)
2, 3 and 8. We’ve stopped exchanging personal emails and we’ve been carefully deleting all text messages, photos and search histories. All of our text messages have been sent when we’re not with our families and they always begin with an innocuous greeting: ‘Hi’ or ‘Wruut’ (apart from my foolish mistake in the car and Sophia’s drunken Christmas Day faux pas.)
4. Nobody has accused us of being inappropriately intimate, so we’ve had nothing to deny.
5. Admittedly, we’ve stopped changing our cell phone passcodes on a weekly basis, as it just seemed unnecessarily cautious, but we still do it regularly.
6 and 7. We’ve used cash to pay for condoms, purchased in faraway pharmacies, and carefully disposed of the receipts. Apart from one Valentine’s Day card, we haven’t shared any gifts or mementoes. (Sophia thinks I’m keeping the card in my locked desk drawer at work, but actually, I shredded it the day she gave it to me.)
9. In private, we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other, but in public, we’ve studiously avoided any inappropriate or even questionable physical contact.
10. We’ve used condoms every time we’ve had sex. (On a couple of occasions, in the heat of passion, Sophia has encouraged me not to bother, but so far I’ve been strong, and managed to maintain my one hundred percent record.)
11 and 12. We’ve relaxed the rule about cosmetics and body lotions because I always shower after our rendezvous, but even so, there have been a couple of Friday afternoons when I’ve detected a pleasant trace of vanilla and apricot emanating from inside my shirt.
13. We’ve never been together while under the influence of drugs or alcohol (apart from the office Christmas party and that time at the hotel when Sophia had a few glasses of champagne.)
14. While I love spending time with Sophia, I haven’t fallen in love with her. I’m crazy about Tamsin, and I can honestly say that I still love her with all my heart. My feelings for Sophia have intensified, and I’m definitely fond of her, but that’s it.
Sophia is effusively appreciative of all the sex we’ve been having, but I’m pretty sure she hasn’t fallen in love with me either. However, I’m a little concerned about this. Sometimes I catch her looking at me in the same way that I look at Tamsin. When this happens I always check:
“Soph, you’re definitely not falling in love with me, are you?”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “Oh, Lee. You really make me laugh.”
“I’m sorry. I do try not to be too adorable, but it’s hard. It can’t be easy for you.”
“It isn’t. But I’ll cope.”
15. Neither of us want to end our affair yet. We’re having too much fun. Despite the lack of sleep, I feel ten years younger, and I haven’t experienced such a joie de vivre since I first got together with Tamsin at university. Maybe soon the novelty will start to wear off, but for now I’m keen to continue and I think that Sophia is too.
Okay. I’m a realist. I’ll acknowledge that my audit has identified a few slip ups, but we’ve always managed to survive unscathed and undiscovered.
So far.
◆◆◆
“She’s my wife, Soph. Of course we’re going to have sex if she wants to.”
Sophia looked as if she was about to burst out crying.
“Why are you being so horrible to me?” she said.
“What do you mean? This is just an affair, remember?
It’s supposed to be in addition to our marriage, not instead of it. Don’t forget, this was your idea.”
Her eyes were brimming with tears, but she was trying to compose herself.
“Don’t I make you happy?”
“Definitely,” I said.
“I thought you enjoyed making love to me.”
“I do. I love it. It’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”
“Then why do you need to keep sleeping with her? Aren’t I enough for you?” Sophia said.
“One day a week doesn’t exactly satisfy all my needs.”
“Are you saying you want us to see each other more often?” she said, brightening a little.
“No. I’m saying, I’m a married man who will occasionally have sex with his wife too. And you have to just deal with that.”
“But wouldn’t you prefer it if we could spend more time together?”
“In a perfect world, I guess that’d be nice, but for now, we’re both married and just having a really enjoyable affair.”
“I can’t believe that skinny bitch is any good in bed. Does she satisfy you the way I do?”
“Whoa! First of all, don’t call Tamsin a bitch. And secondly… no, actually she doesn’t satisfy me the way you do, but that’s not the point,” I said.
“I’m sorry, babe. I guess I’m just feeling a bit jealous. But I really don’t see why you have to keep sleeping with her. If once a week isn’t enough, tell me. I’m sure we can find a way to meet up at other times and in other places.”
“No. It’s too risky. Our current arrangement is fine, Soph.”
“It might be fine for you, but it isn’t for me,” she said.
“We need to get back to work. Have you seen the time?” I glanced at my wristwatch.
“So, you’ll message me while you’re away?”
I paused, considering how I should reply. This was becoming a problem. I really didn’t want my affair to interfere with my family life, but I didn’t want to hurt Sophia either. She was a big part of my life too, and I was fond of her, but my family was my priority.
“No.”
Sophia looked crestfallen, but I took a deep breath and continued.
“This is time with my family. Rule eight, remember? Let’s take this two-week break as an opportunity to take stock of our relationship and decide where we go from here.”
“What does that mean?” she said, raising her voice. “You’re not breaking up with me are you?”
“No, no, no! Absolutely not. I just feel like a couple of weeks apart will give us a chance to think about ‘us’ and decide if we’re both benefiting sufficiently from our affair; if we’re being careful enough; if there’s anything we can do to improve it; where we go from here…”
“ ... new fantasies to act out; any positions we haven’t tried yet,” Sophia said, perking up.
“I’m starting to think you’ve got a one-track mind,” I said, relieved that her mood was improving. “I need to jump in the shower.”
I leapt out of bed and headed to the bathroom.
“Wait a minute.”
Sophia untangled herself from the sheets and jumped inelegantly out of bed, breasts jiggling all over the place, to my delight.
She ran to me, embraced me and squeezed me in a bare bear hug.
“Hold me,” she said, her voice muffled by my neck. “We’re okay, aren’t we, Lee?”
I put my hand under her chin and gently tilted her head up, so I could look her straight in the eye.
“Of course we are. You know I’m crazy about you.”
She smiled up at me, and I kissed her.
Part TWO
Chapter Eleven
The Holiday
I love our summer vacations.
Tamsin does all the research. She chooses the location – somewhere with guaranteed sunny weather – finds a charming villa with a swimming pool, books the cheapest flights, and researches the best eateries nearby. The inexpensive flights mean that we often arrive and depart at unsociable hours, but we use the money we save to treat ourselves to some delicious evening meals at the local restaurants.
These meals allow me to experience quality family time with the three people I care about most in the world.
◆◆◆
For me, there are two main highlights of our vacations.
The first is the dining. There are few greater pleasures than exotic food, shared with the family, outdoors, on a sultry evening, at a highly regarded restaurant. We all dress smartly and look our best; Tamsin and Charlie sporting golden tans, John and me rather pink and tender, after failing to apply sufficient sun cream.
After a couple of drinks the banter is great fun. These are the moments when Tamsin and I get to rediscover our children. Unable to leave the table, we’re actually able to have conversations with them. Without wi-fi, they quickly lose interest in their gadgets, and have to resort to face-to-face communication with each other and with their parents. We learn all sorts of interesting tidbits about Charlie and John that we’d never discover if we were still at home.
The second highlight is the sex. I admit that this is something of an obsession for me, but I can have no complaints whatsoever when we’re on our summer vacation. Tamsin becomes a different person. Away from her job and housework, she has time to relax and wind down. It takes a while, but after a few days our sex life really picks up. Maybe it’s the humid heat. Maybe it’s the alcohol, which we often start to imbibe before lunchtime. Maybe it’s pasty white skin turning bronze and healthy-looking. Whatever it is, I’m very grateful. Tamsin can’t get enough of me. Sometimes she wakes me up in the morning to have sex. Sometimes she summons me to our bedroom for a siesta that doesn’t include any napping. Sometimes, when we’re out, she’ll make it crystal clear that she’s keen to get me back to the villa for a damn good rodgering. She’s even made love to me in the swimming pool after the kids have retired for the evening, but only in the shallow end. Tamsin isn’t a confident swimmer.
Sometimes we just have quickies, like at home, but more often than not, we enjoy long, slow lovemaking sessions and multiple orgasms. It’s heavenly!
For two weeks every year, I have the sex life that I’ve always wanted with the woman I adore. For the other fifty weeks, I know what I’m missing, and I cheat on my wife to supplement the shortfall. Sophia is merely a stand-in; a surrogate; a pale imitation of the real thing. Often, I imagine I’m making love to Tamsin when I’m having sex with Sophia, but I so wish it could be Tamsin all the time.
◆◆◆
“Phew! Turn up the A/C,” Tamsin says as she rolls off me and lies on her side of the bed, arms and legs extended like a starfish. “I’m sweating buckets.”
She always looks incredible straight after sex: a rosy glow on her cheeks, a twinkle in her eyes, and a mottled flush across her sweaty chest. Today, her long brown limbs and the bright white patches where her bikini has been, make her appear even more exotic than usual.
I comply and adjust the air conditioning.
“That was wonderful. I don’t know what’s got into you today, but I love it,” I say.
“Nothing’s got into me. Can’t a girl just want to make love with her husband?”
“Absolutely. But you were so turned on. How come?”
“No reason.”
“You can tell me, Tam. Was it an erotic scene in the book you’re reading? Or were you just lying there enjoying a hot fantasy about that handsome waiter who kept flirting with you last night?”
“Ha ha! I’m pretty sure he was gay. He seemed keener on you.”
“Aren’t you going to tell me?” I say.
“It was nothing. I simply felt like having sex. If you keep going on about it, I won’t bother next time.”
“Sorry. I just like to know what turns you on. I love it when you’re horny.”
“Why did you call me ‘babe’?” she says. “You’ve never called me that before?”
Oops!
“Did I?”
/>
“Yeah. Right before you finished.”
“I don’t know. The heat of passion, I guess. Maybe something I saw on TV.”
“More likely to be from all that porn you watch.”
“How dare you! I’ve never watched pornography in my life!” I lie, insincerely.
“Yeah, right!”
“Did you like it?” I say.
“What?”
“Me calling you ‘babe’?”
“Not especially. It just took me by surprise. I prefer it when you call me ‘Tam’ or ‘Tamsin’. Or even ‘Shnookeylumps.’” Deadpan.
“I don’t think I’ve ever called you ‘Shnookeylumps.’”
“My mistake. That must have been someone else.”
She giggles at me as she steps back into her bikini bottoms.
She really is a different person on holiday. I wish she could be like this all year round.
◆◆◆
Sophia likes to talk dirty. During sex she uses the most obscene words I’ve ever heard for body parts and physical actions. Some terms are so explicit, they cause me to blush with discomfort. I can’t even bring myself to say them, let alone write them:
Oh, ****! That’s so ******* good.
Lick my ******* **** faster!
**** all over my ****!
That’s so ******* deep in my *****!
Your **** feels so ******* amazing up my ****!
Don’t ******* stop. I’m going to ******* ****!
**** me harder, you ******!
Treat me like a ******* *****!
Your huge ******* **** is going to make me ****** so hard!
****** my **** while I **** your *****!
Tamsin prefers no communication whatsoever during sex. Occasionally she’ll shift her position slightly in order to move one of my body parts into a more enjoyable location. Very rarely she’ll adjust my hand by moving it herself. But she never actually says anything.