by LC Lehesaho
The mansion is empty, only two guards inside and the same number outside. The rest of our family is either at the university or with Leo, and I had counted on it. I knew how she would feel after waking up, so I skipped my class on purpose. Cobra is a loose cannon if she lets that shit pile up for too long. I bet she'd been awake less than half an hour this morning when she came down to the shared kitchen already shooting lasers out of her eyes.
We walk to the front door until she suddenly stops and grabs me by my arm. "Tiger, how's my face? Fuck, I need to do something about—"
I cut her off. "You look great. Badass."
"I don't want to look badass!"
"Fine, you look like Pinkie Pie, who fell down the stairs. Happy?"
"Oh, my God." She turns around. "I need to—"
"No, you don't, c'mon." I take her by her arm and pull her to my bike. "We need to go, and you look amazing. Don't stress over things you cannot control."
"What? I can control this, it's my face."
I smirk at her while handing her the helmet. I bought it for her the day I got this bike. "Are you controlling it now?"
Cobra rolls her eyes. "You're an asshole."
"I'm many things, worm," I tell her and put on my own helmet. "C'mon, we need to go."
Murmuring curse words, she pulls the black helmet on and throws her leg over the bike, sitting behind me. She wraps her arms around me, not as tight as I want, so I'm gonna change that. When I turn the Yamaha to our long driveway, I make it move. Fast. Cobra's arms tighten around me like she's holding on for dear life.
I smirk to myself.
I don't drive straight to University because we still have time before class starts, so I take us to the beach. It's still warm in Shangri-la, and a couple of joggers are running on the shoreline, but it's not too crowded yet. It will be later. Cobra lets go of me when I stop the bike and kill the engine.
"What are we doing here?" she asks after taking off the helmet and jumping off the bike.
I place my helmet on the handle, nodding toward the sea. "Enjoying the view. Wait for a second, I'll come back soon."
Cobra pushes her hands in her jeans pockets and gives me a questioning look but stays in her place when I go to the coffee shop. There's one couple inside, and I can see it from their faces that they recognize me, and so does the cashier behind the counter. It's not like we walk around killing people, but apparently, most of the citizens of this city think there's a possibility.
They are not entirely wrong; I am a little bit short-fused at times.
Three pairs of eyes stare at me when I take the strawberry ice cream bar from the freezer and walk to the counter. At that second, the cashier looks everywhere but at me, and it stays that way until I've paid for the ice cream and turned around. Then the staring continues. People are so fucking curious but chickenshits at the same time that it's ridiculous.
Cobra is sitting on the railing beside the bike, watching the sea. Her long pink hair is floating in the air from the slight wind, and her white hoodie brings out her tan, which is not from the bottle. She’d actually lain in our yard almost the whole summer to get it.
I was there with her, worshiping her gorgeous body in my mind. Cobra is the girl who loves sweets, and even though she works out there is a little extra on her ass, and I fucking love it. The reason for her round ass and full tits might also be her half-Colombian heritage. Whatever it is, I want her to be mine. She's been my best friend for the past five years, and I'm done with the friend-zoning.
Her tight jeans are folded from the hem so that they leave her Chucks fully on display. Like this, she looks like a normal twenty-year-old, and sometimes I wonder what she'd be like if she'd been born into a typical family.
But we aren't a typical family.
"Here." I hand her the ice cream, which I unwrapped for her and lean my elbows on the railing. Cobra takes it but gives me a look. "It will help your throat."
"Thanks." She takes a bite and watches it with a thin line between her brows. There is something she wants to say, I can see it from her face. The silence grows longer until she turns to look at me with an uneasy expression on her beautiful face. "Are you happy?"
The question takes me by surprise.
I rub my jaw and think about how to answer. This isn't supposed to be a hard question, but...
It is.
I look at her hazel eyes. "What does it mean to be happy?"
"I think…" Her gaze wanders to the sea. "I think it means that you're satisfied with where you are now."
"Then I am happy," I answer to her truthfully. I'm happy right now. "Are you?"
"I think I am, but… sometimes I wonder if we are missing something." Cobra shakes her head like trying to clear a thought out of her mind. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Then I feel like shit for even thinking about it because Dad has done so much for us, and I'm an ungrateful brat for thinking what it would be like… to be normal."
She's never said this before. Never. And seeing her turmoil makes my stomach convulse.
I jump over the railing so I can get in front of her and take her jaw between my fingers. "You don't have to feel bad about it, worm. It's okay to be curious about things you haven't experienced."
Her eyes glimmer from tears, so I step closer and place my other hand on her thigh to make room for me to get between them.
But she shakes her head. "Not here, Tiger. We're out in public, someone can see us."
"I don't care. I want to hold you when you're feeling blue." I squeeze her thigh, but she shakes me off.
"This is what I mean. I want you to do it." She wipes the tears from her eyes, and the misery in them makes me die a little bit from the inside. I hate to see her sad. "It sounds stupid, but I want to hold hands in public, cuddle wherever and whenever, and be like those careless couples in love. But I can't have it. We can't have it. You and I could never be like that, and I hate it. I hate it so fucking much."
My heart is pounding out of my chest when I look at her. "Are you in love with me?"
Cobra swallows loudly and furrows her brows, looking past me. "I've always been in love with you, and you know it."
"No, I…" I ran a hand through my hair, shocked that she actually admitted it. "We can find a way. I'm sure—"
She cuts me off. "Tiger, stop. I promised that I wouldn’t lie to you. We can never be anything more than this 'cause I will never put you in danger like that. You know exactly what would happen if Dad or Wolf found out." She wipes her face again, agony shining from her features. "I needed to get this out 'cause I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin. I'm sorry, I just… sometimes I want to be someone else, and I hate myself for it. I hate that I love you."
There are so many thoughts running through my head that I don't know what to think.
I want her. I want us.
A sudden realization occurs in my head, and it's not a good one. I glare at her. "Have you always wanted me to hurt you just so you could hate me for it?"
Cobra's eyes come to mine. "No. I want it to be you 'cause you're the only one I trust completely."
"You can always trust me, baby," I answer, and I have to stick my hands in my pockets because I just want to fucking hug her. "I love you too, you know?"
She looks even sadder. "You really shouldn't. I don't love myself, so no one else should love me either."
5
"I love you enough for the two of us. I don't care if you think you can protect me by denying us, but trust me, worm." Tiger looks at me with unshakable confidence, "One day, you and I are going to be together. I don't care how long it will take, but we're meant to be."
I blink at his words, hoping that he’s right. But I know better, he isn't. "Tiger, we’ve been doomed from the beginning, far from meant to be. There's no happy endings for people like us."
He slides his hand to my neck and pulls me closer, leaning to my ear. "You are so fucking wrong, and I'll prove it to you." Then his lips brush my cheek as he pulls
back, giving me a wicked grin. "I can't wait to see you in a dress tonight."
"Maybe I'll wear pants just so you won't get us both killed by looking at me like that," I retort and swing my legs over the railing to the bike's side. I hate my traitorous brain and body for craving him so much that even now, when I just told him that we're never going to happen, my core is pulsing from wanting him there. Maybe Tiger should hit me harder so my brain would start to work right.
He gives me a gaze full of sin as he jumps over the railing and walks to the bike, but he won't say a word. Tiger is a master at speaking with his eyes. I shouldn't be thinking about him like this, but that's one thing I love about him. We can have a full conversation without saying a word to each other.
I sit behind him and take hold of his sides, but the moment he twists the throttle, I need to wrap my arms tightly around him, so I won't fall off, and I feel it when he laughs at me even though I can't hear it because of the roaring engine. I fucking hate his bike. It's the devil's invention straight from Hell.
It will get him killed one day.
The drive to the college campus takes only five minutes with Tiger driving, but in those minutes, I have time to realize what the fuck happened between us today. I'm a hundred percent sure that all of this love confessions shit wouldn't have happened if he wouldn't have licked my goddamn blood straight from my lips. He took this to the next level between us, but I guarantee that it's not happening. I love him way too much to be selfish and make him mine.
There's no salvation from our family if we would do this.
Dad isn't bad, but he is... Unpredictable. Strict. You could even say a little bit old-fashioned in some things. He's harsh when something doesn't go his way, and there's no way of explaining anything when he feels like someone has overstepped his boundaries. I've witnessed it many times before, watching him with his allies and employees, but also with our family.
Falcon's mother was an excellent example of what happens when someone crosses the line with Dad. We were just kids at the time, but he told us what he did and why—not sugarcoating anything. She messed up, big time, and ended up six feet under because of what she did.
So, when it comes to Tiger?
I can't take the risk.
I love Dad, but I don't trust him with this. There's no way I could put Tiger in the line of fire like that.
No. Way.
When he rolls us to the parking lot, I see Puma's yellow Camaro parked to the side. The top of the convertible is open, and I see Puma in it, lounging casually and smoking something. When Tiger stops the Yamaha next to it, my brother lifts his head a bit and peeks over his Ray-Bans.
"I thought your first class was at nine," he states to Tiger when we take off our helmets. I get off of the bike and hand him my helmet, his eyes lingering on me a bit too long before turning to Puma.
"Yeah, it was, but I wasn't there." He cocks an eyebrow. "And I remember you saying that you're not coming at all."
Puma takes a drag off his cigarette, which I was sure was weed, but I'm pleasantly surprised it isn't. Almost a proud-sister moment. "Yeah, duh, Dad was banging on my door at eight a.m. and threatened me, so I had to come. So, here I am."
"How long have you been sitting here?" I ask him, incredulously.
"What time is it?"
"Almost twelve," Tiger tells him while getting off his bike. I have to keep my eyes on a leash because I catch myself watching him all the fucking time.
"Hmph." Puma blows rings of smoke in the air. "Three hours or so."
"My gawd, you're such a loser," I huff, shaking my head and spin around to leave. "See you guys later."
"Wait, I'm coming with you," Tiger calls out and catches me with a couple of strides, but turns to walk backward to talk to Puma. "Dude, remember the Snow case, so don't smoke anything else before it."
"Yea, I know. Dad generously reminded me about that, too," he murmurs, annoyed. Like he always is when something comes between him and his activities.
When we're far enough from Puma, I hiss at Tiger. "Stop following me. You're supposed to go there." I throw my hand toward the campus's art department. His major is graphic design, and mine is business management, so he's not supposed to come here. "I'm not kidding. Leave."
"Nope. I'm walking you to your class," he says cheerily and stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets, walking by my side. "I'm coming to get you too. Four p.m., was it?"
What the actual fuck?
I give him a lethal glare. "Don't you dare, or I'll shoot you. Nothing has changed between us, so you're not going to make this something that it isn't. Get it?"
Clearly, Tiger has other opinions because he wiggles his eyebrows at me with a smug smirk. "Worm, I'm going to make your life a living hell until you give up."
"Jeez." I roll my eyes, grab the door handle before him, and help myself. When inside, I quickly turn around and pull it almost shut, so he's left outside. I glare at his dark eyes, but he just chuckles at me. "Cut it. Seriously. This is not happening. Never. You know it, and nothing you do will make me change my mind. We're best friends, and nothing more, Tiger."
"See you at Purgatory, baby girl." He winks before leaving, and I watch his broad back for a second before I catch myself doing so. I know he meant our new nightclub, but somehow it sounded like a threat. He is really making my life hell.
I just know he is.
"I'm already giving up on today's possible hookups based on this damn horoscope." Falcon sighs and takes a sip of her latte. It's all she ever drinks. "Listen to this, expect a little or a lotta confusion this weekend." She looks at me over her phone. "This is hexing our whole night. Neither of us is getting laid. Because." She glances at her phone again and chirps up her voice. "Clear communicating is the key for navigating this Astro-weather. Like what the fuckery? Clear communicating?"
I bark out a laugh. "You can try this: put your penis in my vagina. Clear enough?"
"That's one way to get the message through." An amused, vibrating sound comes behind me, and I spin around on my side of the booth to meet Tiger's eyes. They are flickering at me as he leans over my backrest, all casually.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be like drawing cartoons or something right now?" I growl at him while he sits beside me. The campus cafeteria is almost empty because most people are in classes—like he should be too. Falcon and I have an hour off, so we're spending it by caffeinating ourselves.
"We're not drawing cartoons, and you know it. I'm having an inspirational break and saw you two lolling around here." He places his hand casually over the backrest, over my fucking shoulders. It's not unusual, we are always sitting like this, but now I feel cornered. Because I know it's not casual right now. I hope Falcon doesn't read it on my face.
Her middle name should be fucking Gossip.
Falcon waves her phone at Tiger. "This horoscope is messing with our opening night. You heard me, none of us is getting laid because of this communicating shit. Uh, but you're not a Leo like the rest of us. Let me check how lucky you are." Falcon eyes the text and whistles. "Holy shit, boy. This actually says that you have the opportunity to have some kickass sex tonight, Aquarius. You lucky bastard."
Tiger's smirk is so wide that I can't even. "Oh, really? Kickass sex?" He shamelessly turns his eyes on me. "I'm starting to believe in astrology. Even the stars are on my side."
I keep my face blank. "Well, fortunate son, I am happy for you and wish you all the best at finding a partner for the kickass sex."
Actually, fuck no, but I'm not going to say it.
Falcon giggles. "I don't think he’ll need to look long." My eyes practically bulge out when I fear that she might know something, but she continues. "The last time we were at the club, he had three chicks circling him without him doing anything."
I wasn't on board at the time, and I hate that I get mad while thinking of him fucking someone else. Not that he is fucking me, but… why am I like this?
I rub my bruised throat, anxiousn
ess piling up like Lego's inside me. Then I see that he's looking at my hand on my neck, with a little too heated of an expression. I jerk my hand down and gulp my coffee instead.
"Apparently my face says that I know how to have a good time," Tiger drawls and turns to Falcon. "And let me correct you, it was four."
She snaps her fingers. "Ah, I forgot the redhead. They were all pretty nice packages. I left early, so who was the one?"
Is it hot in here? I drink down the glass of water and find a better position on the seat. It's so hot in here. I fan my face with my hand, hoping that it will chill me out.
"The blonde. Are you okay, Cobra? You seem a little… heated." Tiger cocks his head, and I glance at him, sweat running down my back. He really is living up to his promise. It's hot as hell in here.
Falcon stares at me, confused by my sudden weirdness. "You're redder than a Ferrari. What's wrong with you? Don't tell me you're getting sick. Food poisoning?"
Oh fuck me sideways. "No, it was just… my coffee. It was hot."
She furrows her brows. "Still hot? We've been here for almost an hour."
"So what? It was scorching from the beginning." I try to shrug it off, while getting up from the table, taking my empty coffee cup with me. I direct my words to Falcon as I turn toward her. "My class is starting. Wait for me in the parking lot, will you?"
"I can give you a ride," Tiger says casually, and Falcon claps her hands together like she is actually excited about the idea.
"No—"
"Yes! Perfect, 'cause I need to pick up Elena to fix your face. Now, I don't have to drive you home first, and I can go straight to her place." She cheers happily, and at the moment, I hate her two-seater sports car. This fucking day makes me hate a lot of things, and I'm not a hater. It would be best to walk home right now and stay there for like a year or so.
"Whatever." I roll my eyes and leave because I have my limits.
I don't know why Tiger can't see this clearly. We need to solve this because I need him as my friend and not like this. Fearing that someone will catch on to what's going on between us, and he will get hurt. I can't even imagine what my Dad would do. He's taken Tiger in as his own son, and my blood family sees him as our brother.