by S M Mala
As the months passed by, she realised what she’d said to Hatty. The information was being drip fed by her mind. She would often stop and stiffen at what happened. Even kissing Jake came into her head and his look of horror. In a way, she was relieved she wasn’t invited to the wedding.
‘Is something wrong with the server?’ she asked, poking her head out of the office. ‘Murray wanted me to get some copies of the security footage from the night of the hurricane for insurance and-.’
‘It been removed,’ the man replied, partially distracted by something on his computer. ‘After ya came da the discs were wipe clean.’
‘What?’ she said and tried not to look too shocked. ‘Did Mr Logan instruct this to happen?’
‘All me know we told it had to be done,’ he shrugged. ‘Sometin’ about privacy an’ sumtin cos dat gal died.’
‘I see,’ she replied unable to think on her feet before replying. ‘He did mention it to me. I must be going mad.’
Staring out of the window, it was New Year’s Eve and snow had started to fall in New York. Jake watched the snow flakes and felt he’d done himself proud by not thinking too hard about Hatty. She’d spoken about them spending Christmas together for the first time and he remembered the previous New Year’s Eve when he surprised her, when they made love all night.
Jake realised how much he loved and missed her.
Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Serena sleeping soundly, her small pregnant bump protruding through her night dress. He didn’t know how he felt about his wife, about the baby. It was alien to him, the constant chatter of baby items to be bought, the antenatal classes and if she should breast feed. The truth was painful to admit but he didn’t feel anything. His only great joy was work, burying his head in the projects and forgetting about his life, what was left of it now she’d gone.
Forty one
The emergency C-section took them all by surprise as the baby was two weeks early. It was agreed Jake wasn’t to go into the operating theatre as it was now critical. He saw his father running up to him with Pete in tow.
‘What happened?’ Murray asked, grabbing his son and giving him a massive hug. ‘Is she okay?’
‘It all happened so quickly and they said the baby’s in distress plus Serena’s … I don’t know,’ he said, feeling anxious. ‘They’re in the operating theatre and I’m just waiting.’
‘Let me find out,’ Pete said gently and walked off as Murray sat down on the chair.
Jake sat beside him and had no idea about what he was supposed to feel.
‘Are you alright son?’ he heard Murray ask as Jake stared at the ground.
‘No,’ he honestly replied and saw the doctor walking towards them, closely followed by Pete who was smiling brightly.
Both the Logan men stood up and Jake noticed Murray’s anxious face.
‘How’s the baby?’ his father asked, holding tightly onto Jake’s arm. ‘And Serena?’
‘Everyone is fine. Mother and baby are doing very well,’ the man smiled, as Jake’s face froze. ‘Your son was born weighing 7lbs and 7 ounces.’
‘A boy?’ he said after a few moments and smiled, still unsure if it was real or not. ‘May I see him?’
‘Of course. Follow me.’
Jake followed the doctor and they reached the room. Serena was still groggy as he noticed the small pink baby wrapped in a blanket by her side. He was scared as he approached the bundle and something in his heart sank. Deep down he was hoping it would be a girl and it would look like Hatty. Gulping hard he swallowed back his tears before stroking the baby’s cheek.
‘He’s beautiful. He looks like you,’ Serena said quietly.
‘I-.’ For a moment he was overwhelmed and shook his head, running out of the room, past his father and a shocked Pete.
‘Jake!’ Murray called chasing him as he ran out of the building and burst into tears.
He felt Murray standing close before grabbing him tightly as Jake sobbed into his arms.
‘It should have been our baby, Hatty and mine,’ he cried. Murray grabbed his face with his hands. ‘And why today? Why was he born today? We should have been getting married. Hatty should be here. I hate feeling like this.’
‘It’s a lot to take in,’ Murray said and Jake could see his father was crying. ‘It will get better.’
‘How can it? How can I manage to be a good father when I don’t care about my child, about my wife,’ he cried. ‘I can’t do this!’
‘You have to move on,’ he gently said as Jake suddenly stopped crying and removed his hands.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said staring at his father. ‘You’re right. It’s a lot to take in. From this day I won’t ever talk about her again. She’s dead and something died in me but I have responsibilities. And will you help me?’
‘Anything.’
‘Never mention Hatty’s name to me again. Never remind me of what I could have had and what I did. Promise me dad, please promise me. I can’t cope you see, I really can’t cope.’
Murray kissed his son and grandson and walked out of the hospital in need of a strong drink. He was delighted at seeing Lucas, who was the spitting image of this father as a baby. But Jake was going through a major turmoil and he couldn’t help him. He sent various emails to family and friends announcing the arrival but deep down, he knew Jake needed help and guidance. Walking into the bar he ordered single malt and toasted the arrival of another Logan.
He was digesting what Jake said. The pain his child was going through seemed to make what should have been a monumental occasion, to a scenario of despair. Deep down Murray wanted the freedom to walk away from his life, start again and a child was always a good reason to do this.
Something new and wonderful. It reminded him of seeing Jake for the first time … and Hatty.
Murray desperately missed the young woman and he knew it would take a long time for him to get over it, if ever. Then his thoughts landed on Delores and he didn’t want to be with her.
He had to be set free.
It was a year since Hatty was taken cruelly away by the hurricane and the same day his first grandson was born.
Life looked bleak but there was a small hint of sunshine which he had to grasp at before it was too late.
Forty two… five year later
‘You need to talk him out of it,’ said Frederick. Murray tried not to laugh at his friend’s predicament as they sat over lunch in one of the restaurants at the hotel. There was a lot of hustle and bustle as the place was packed. ‘He’s serious about her.’
‘Are you sure he’s not playing with you?’ Murray let out a little laugh but bit back hard as Frederick was fit to burst. ‘Philip has a wicked sense of humour.’
‘She’s the island whore!’
‘Now, now, that could be your future daughter law you’re talking about,’ he said gently. ‘What does Elena say?’
‘You think I’m over the top? You gotta hear what his mother’s been saying. And Louisa? She laughed and said it serves Gina right.’
‘How is Louisa?’ he asked, knowing he’d not seen her for many years.
‘She’s sick of her job and wants to come back home,’ he sighed. ‘I think some man broke her heart in Chicago and she wants to lick her wounds.’
‘But aren’t you supposed to be moving to Miami?’ he said, pleased she might be coming back to the island. ‘Which means you’re going to change your mind?’
‘She can come back. The house is there for her. Elena wants to go to Miami, what say do I have?’ Frederick let out a massive laugh.
‘Your son is a god send, do you know that? He’s making me lots of money. More than you ever did.’
Murray grinned at his friend who smiled back.
‘Then talk him out of his relationship with Gina,’ he sighed and Murray shook his head from side to side. ‘I mean he now tells me she’s in Los Angeles with him. That woman is nothing but a gold digger and my son is going to be left with a hefty bill.’
&nb
sp; ‘He can afford it,’ smiled Murray then he looked over and his eyes met a beautiful young woman.
He didn’t look away until Frederick starting clearing his throat.
‘Keep it off the island because if Delores knew what was going on she’d go mad.’
‘I don’t care,’ he said honestly. ‘She’s in my home, under my roof, in my bed. She’s got what she wanted.’
‘And that’s why you spend so little time here now? Murray you have to tell her it’s over.’
‘I know,’ he said and smiled at the woman before catching Frederick’s eye. ‘You know it’s been six years since Hatty died. I have less than a year before I declare her dead. Delores never mentions her. She never talks about what happened. I can’t mention anything to Jake as he’s too caught up in his work. I think I see him more than his son does.’ Murray watched is friend’s face darken before pursing his lips.
‘I thought I was protecting you, protecting her,’ Frederick quietly said. ‘If I could change it all, I would.’
‘I know,’ he said, touching his arm and giving it a squeeze. ‘I can’t get over it. I don’t think I want to. If I could trade my life for hers I would do it in a heartbeat, just to see her one more time and tell her how much I love her.’ Murray swallowed his pain and smiled, for a moment. ‘I go past the house and, again, your son has done me proud.’
‘You know Philip has fixed up the house and won’t let anyone in it,’ said Frederick, ushering the waiter for attention. ‘What are you going to do about it?’
‘Philip can have it,’ he shrugged and felt sad for a moment. ‘He wants to look after it and he’s determined to make it a nice place. No one’s going to live there and even he knows, if he lets Gina step a foot into it he’d be upsetting Hatty.’
‘Are you going to declare her dead?’ his friend gently asked as Murray let out a massive sigh. ‘You have to do something.’
‘What’s the point? Her money is still in trust. She has no-one to inherit it as she has no family. I need to sort it out but I don’t want to.’ He turned to look at Frederick. ‘I was thinking of giving it to Louisa. I know Hatty would want that.’
‘And Jake? How is he?’
‘I couldn’t tell you,’ said Murray, sitting back in his chair. ‘He’s working very hard and when I speak to him, everything is good. When I speak to Serena, it’s a different story. I can see my son has a self-destruct button but I don’t want him to press it.’
‘Things not good at home?’
Murray glanced out to sea and pondered for a moment. The world looked beautiful from his eyes but he knew Jake didn’t see it as such. Every time he met his son he realised there was a barrier.
‘I think he’s making the exact same mistakes I’ve done and I can’t stop him. So many times I’ve begged him to come to the island, to spend time with me. He refuses to acknowledge he actually came here and fell in love with her.’ Swallowing hard, he let out a deep sigh. ‘I wish I could tell him the pain would go away, I wish I could make it better for him but I can’t help him because Jake won’t face his grief. Until he does that then no-one can help him. He’s just a seeping wound but can’t see it though everyone around him can.’
Jake got out of bed and took a swig of water. Alexandra was fast asleep as he checked his phone to find Serena had left him a couple of messages. He put the phone back into his jacket as he quickly got dressed. His new affair was fun but even Jake knew he was pushing it as Serena had rumbled him several times. It’s not that he wanted to cause her pain but he needed the sense of freedom, which was opposite to what he was feeling when he was at home.
He loved his son, he loved his wife but he didn’t like being trapped. Lucas was his mother’s son in so many ways. The four year old boy seemed to view his father as a slight disruption and, in Jake’s mind, an inconvenience.
Quietly he left Alex’s flat and made his way home but not before stopping off at the office. Being the editor was a major buzz and he loved it but he wasn’t a fool. He knew it was a limited time and he was intent on doing the best he could. Serena had gone back to work and sometimes he’d walk in, seeing Lucas with the nanny and felt guilty. Jake knew he wasn’t the best daddy but he would make up for it.
One day but not right now.
Murray sat at the same table and looked around the room. It was once again time to mourn the loss of two women he loved dearly as he sank into his seat. Jake was getting harder to get hold of and Delores begged him for her to come but it was his solace. The place where he could remember Eloise and miss Hatty until it could no longer hurt. The champagne was opened and he sipped on a glass, knowing he wouldn’t be allowed to finish a bottle but remembering Hatty’s sly way of saying half bottles never tasted as nice. Just as he was going to take a sip he did a double take.
Philip was walking towards him.
‘Hey stranger, what are you doing here?’ Murray said aghast, trying not to look too shocked.
‘I needed to talk to you,’ he said.
Murray could see Philip was pensive and looking extremely nervous.
‘I need to talk to you but I didn’t think you’d fly over to see me personally in London,’ he laughed and sat back down. ‘Come and join me.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Philip blurted out and seemed stuck to the spot.
‘What for? You’ve let the business go bankrupt?’ laughed Murray, shaking his hand gently, gesturing him to. ‘I saw the accounts this morning and everything looks fine.’
‘No,’ said Philip and Murray saw him look around anxiously. ‘I need to talk to you. I wouldn’t have said anything, I was sworn to secrecy but I think you need to know.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Can we meet later?’ he said, taking a deep breath. ‘It’s important.’
‘Sure.’ Murray was completely confused by the turn of events and would never have expected seeing Philip at the Ritz let alone London. He presumed it must be something bad. ‘Why don’t you join me for a drink?’
‘I have to go,’ he said, suddenly grabbing Murray’s hand and holding it. ‘God forgive me Murray for this. I was just following instructions. I would never hurt you but my hands were tied.’
‘You’re starting to freak me out,’ he said, scowling at him. ‘What have you done?’
‘It’s what I didn’t do. Look, I better go. There’s someone waiting for me back at-.’
‘Gina?’ he asked, trying not to show his concern now Frederick wanted him to intervene.
‘No,’ laughed Philip. ‘She’s back in LA spending my money. I’ll call you later.’
‘Of course,’ smiled Murray, sitting back down and shaking his head from the shock of seeing him.
He gestured to the waiter to fill up his glass of champagne as he smiled, turning over what Philip could want to speak to him about. He concluded it must have something to do with Gina as that girl was full of trouble. Murray sighed for a moment before looking up to take a sip of his drink.
Something caught his eye.
The glass slipped through his fingers, smashing to the ground.
The concluding part…
The Secret History of Hatty Ha Ha … ends
Published by S M Mala
Copyright © S M Mala 2013
All rights reserved. No part of this publication is to be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any forms or by any means, including photocopying, recording or any other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher/author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
All characters in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
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