by S. E. Law
But maybe there’s a way I can use that to my advantage. In business, having the upper hand almost always results in a positive outcome. Currently, I’d say I have the upper hand. I’ve just got to utilize it properly.
Robert was right when he said that Tammy is something else. She has me thinking in circles right now, completely flustered.
I put the tape carefully back into my briefcase. I’ve got a lot to consider, but I can’t waste too much time on it. There are other responsibilities that I’ve got to consider as well.
Brick Productions is doing well, but I’m always out to have it do better. I’m sure my mother would say that is why I haven’t found love yet. She’s always harping on my me to get a real girlfriend. I think she wants grandkids, but I just want to be able to maintain the lifestyle the two of us have gotten quite used to.
If anything, Tammy will be a welcome distraction from some of the drudgery I encounter in the office.
Maybe in that way, we can help each other out.
4
Tammy
I cannot believe what happened. I’d watched Brick’s impossibly ripped back exit the sound stage – the sound stage where he had walked in on me masturbating. Masturbating with my own glass vase.
Oh, good God!
Why did I have to do that? It was so DUMB! I was there to film my audition tape. An audition tape that was supposed to be my ticket out of a job I hate. There was absolutely no reason for me to get undressed and start fucking myself with a glass vase. I mean, it felt good. It felt great! Except for the part when my dad’s boss walked in on me…
UGH!!!!
I cover my face with my pillow. After Brick left, I threw my clothes back on and rushed home. I had to sneak in because I did not want to wake up my parents. They’d have all kinds of questions about where I’d been, and I was not in the state of mind to answer anything. I may have broken down and revealed everything that just had happened.
I let out a deep sigh, thinking about the look on his face when he saw me. There was the initial shock, sure, but he had also looked intrigued. I’m not sure what that means, but at least he didn’t call the cops on me. I can’t imagine having to explain to anyone what had happened. Not to mention there being a paperwork trail to document what happened and having to get fingerprinted!
Oh, thank God he didn’t call the cops. Even though I feel relief over that, there are still a whole host of other things worrying me.
The worst part of it all is that Brick Barrister is so gorgeous. His beautiful, gorgeous, carved-by-angels face sent me into ecstasy. That’s why I didn’t stop coming immediately tonight; my body wanted to keep going when it saw him. He must think I’m some kind of disgusting freak.
I take my pillow off of my face and turn onto my side, tucking my feet into my body. I am exhausted. All of the excitement and shock is starting to wear off. My body is crashing, my muscles relaxing into my bed. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about what happened tonight, and I can’t think straight enough to come up with a decent plan right now. All I’m doing at this point is causing myself more and more worry.
I may as well go to sleep. At least that way I’ll be well rested for tomorrow.
My eyelids flutter closed as I pray that this all resolves itself with the least amount of fanfare possible. I really need this adventure to remain a secret.
The next night, I am having dinner with my parents. I’ve been living at home for the past couple of years, which is part of the reason why I wanted to get that spot on Fantastic Florists. I love my mom and dad, but it would nice to be on my own again. University gave me four years of being “on my own”. But all of that student debt is keeping me down. George and Margie did their best to help me out with my tuition, but neither one of them ever made the money needed to fully pay for it all.
So the loans have been a great burden in my life. With my current salary, it would take me well over a decade, possibly even longer, to get them all paid off. If I had other expenses, like rent and utilities, I might be paying back these loans for my entire life. Moving back home was the best option financially, and my parents were more than happy to have me. I just know I can’t wait around here for a decade. I need more money, and I’ve got to find a way to get it.
So this is where I’ve been for the past couple of years. It’s not like I hate living here, though. My parents are nice. They’re a little on the older side – the grays are starting to come in – but we all get along. We’ve always gotten along. They are two of the most pleasant people I know.
“How was work today, darling?” my mom asks my dad.
“It was good. I was at a meeting with the CEO this morning. These two boys came in and tried to pitch their movie. I don’t know a lot about that side of the business. It sounded interesting enough, but Brick was having none of it. He was absolutely ruthless. He sent someone to deliver the news that he was not going to be buying their script. But he wasn’t nice about it in the slightest.”
I see my dad visibly shiver. My dad definitely has a mix of fear and respect for his boss. I don’t think Brick would be unnecessarily cruel, but I also barely know the guy. He was nice enough to not call the cops on me last night, but maybe he wasn’t doing it out of the kindness of his heart. He did take the tape and then say something ominous and vague about seeing me around. What could he possibly want with that tape? There are many ways he could use it to get me in trouble.
“I’d never want to be on the wrong side of Brick. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen. It’s never good for the offending party.”
Am I on his bad side? Is that why he didn’t call the police? Because he has something more humiliating in mind for me? Oh no… He works in the film business; I’m sure he could think of increasingly creative ways to embarrass me.
“Mmm, I remember you telling me about a time one of the cameramen destroyed some equipment out of anger. That day sounded stressful.”
“It was,” my dad huffs through his nose. “I was worried the rest of us would catch the brunt of Brick’s frustration, but he only got mad at the guy who broke the equipment. I realized that day that Brick is a pretty fair boss. He only fired the guy. Didn’t even call the cops or make him pay to replace anything. I’d say that was more than a fair shake. Still, I wouldn’t say he’s the warmest guy.” My mom nods as if she can remember that day like it was yesterday.
“Does he have a woman? Brick is such a handsome guy, and maybe having someone in his life would make him less on edge. You know, a little more understanding at times. Maybe even a little nicer.” This part of the conversation definitely piques my interest. I’d be interested to know if Brick is seeing anyone. I mean, it’s not like whether he is or not is going to change anything. Only in my wildest dreams would someone like Brick Barrister fall for me.
As if that would happen just because we had this weird encounter.
“I don’t think so,” my dad shakes his head. “Of course, I’m not privy to my boss’s personal life, but I’ve worked with him for a long time, and not once have I ever seen him with anyone. I think I would know if Brick was steadily dating someone.”
“That’s strange,” my mother comments. “He’s so gorgeous. It’s a wonder he’s not married with three children already.”
Personally, I’m not totally surprised Brick’s still single. I’ve heard some of the women in town talk about Brick, and he seems to be a bit of a playboy. Nothing too salacious, but he’s definitely enjoying the single life. I’m not going to hold that against him, but who knows what that means concerning the situation between the two of us.
“I don’t know,” my father shrugs. “Some people are just different, I guess.”
Different, ha! Brick is different all right. He reacted in a way I never would have guessed to catching me. God, my heart is beating as fast as a racehorse. At least my parents don’t know about what I did. I’d never be able to show my face in this house again if they did. I might would actually have to r
esort to running away.
The big question is what do I do now? Brick holds all of the cards in his hand, and I'm sure he knows it. Holding the power is what he does for a living. It’s a side of his business that I learned about over the years while hearing my father talk about his work at the dinner table. But with this audition tape fiasco, I can't just sit back and do nothing. The panic really set in this morning when I remembered he had that tape of me. Why did he take it?
I have a theory. Maybe he's going to blackmail me. But what could a man like Brick Barrister want from me? What could I possibly give him that he doesn't already have? He’s rich, handsome, and a successful businessman. I’m poor, in debt, and my life is a bit of a mess.
“How was your day, honey?” My eyes go wide when my mom throws a question my way. Thankfully, there's a bite of food in my mouth, so I use the chewing time to try and compose myself.
“Um,” I mumble after swallowing. “You know, the usual.”
“Really? Everything is okay?”
What does she know? She knows something, right? My mom has that maternal intuition people talk about. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came to me later, tape in hand, saying she fixed everything.
“Yeah, Mom. I'm fine.”
“It's just that you look a little flushed. Distressed even. You're not getting sick, are you? I could make some chicken soup. Get some ginger ale for you if it’s your tummy.”
I’d thought I was hiding my fears way better. Shit, I really am an open book.
“I'm just tired. It's been busy at the flower shop. Summer is a popular time for people who want to add to their garden.”
“Our little girl is just working hard, Margie.”
“But look at her, George. Maybe she shouldn't come to the barbecue this weekend. She should catch up on her sleep, instead. I don't want my poor baby to collapse from exhaustion.”
The barbecue? Oh my goodness! I'd completely forgotten that Brick Productions was hosting another company barbecue. My parents told me about it weeks ago. I haven't gone to one in a while, and I really wasn’t planning on going to this one either.
“Well, it's up to her, Margie. Tammy knows whether or not she can handle the event. Right, sweetheart?”
“Huh?” I need to get out of my own head or my parents will start to think I'm slowly losing it.
I definitely used to like going to the company barbecues, but as I got older, I found them kind of boring. Plus, with all of this on my plate, maybe it would be best…
But hold the phone. If it's a company event, that means Brick will be there. That might be the perfect time for me to confront him about the tape. I don't get a lot of chances to see the guy, and this way, no one's going to think it's weird that I'm there since I am the daughter of an employee.
There’s probably even a way I can get him to myself at the barbecue. Of course, there’s always so much going on, I’m sure that even if Brick and I were in a crowd talking, there would be enough commotion going on that no one would really hear our conversation.
I’m going to go. It’ll be the best course of action.
“I'll be fine, guys. It's just been a busy few days. I'm sure by Saturday, I'll be all rested up. Plus, I'm not going to turn down free barbecue. Do you guys even know me?” I add playfully.
My mom giggles, and my dad sports a proud smile.
“That's our girl,” he says, joking but also a little serious. My parents go back to talking to each other, leaving me alone for the moment – probably because of all of the exhaustion talk.
I don't mind, though. It was hard having to keep up with the conversation while also having an internal breakdown. My inner monologue is all over the place.
At least now I have some kind of a plan. Waking up this morning, remembering everything that happened and realizing the implications of Brick having that tape, really did a number on me. It's all I could think about during the day.
But with this plan, as haphazardly thrown together as it is, I'm feeling a little less panicky. Don't get me wrong, I’m still freaking out, but this is an anchor I can hold on to for now.
“Tammy, honey, are you going to eat your dinner?” My mom motions at my almost full plate. I look down at the pasta and meatballs with red sauce. Usually, I love my mom's cooking. She's got some seriously fabulous recipes, but all of this anxiety is getting to my stomach. It’s turning and turning, and I’m worried I won’t be able to keep anything down.
“I'm just not very hungry tonight. Sorry, Mom. I had a late lunch at the shop.”
“No worries, baby. Why don't you go lie down? You deserve to rest. You’re always working so hard.” I nod and thank her.
My parents are always doting on me. I know they love me and think I am a gift to their lives, which is why they can never find out about that tape. It would completely shatter their view of me.
I go to my room, falling onto my bed in a heap. My covers always feel so welcoming. Right now, they offer a modicum of comfort in these trying times.
I turn over onto my stomach, resting my chin on my pillow.
“Okay, Tammy. You're going to go to that barbecue and give Brick Barrister a piece of your mind. You'll get the tape back, maybe apologize for what you did because what you did was technically wrong, and hopefully, that's the end of this god-awful saga.”
Saturday is only two days away. It's probably best to put all of this in the back of my mind until then. There's no need to run myself ragged with worry.
I'll take care of it all.
It's the day of the barbecue. The BIG day. I told myself I wouldn't think about today until it was happening. That was a lie. I thought about the confrontation every damn minute I was awake. I thought about all of the ways it could go wrong and all of the ways it could go right. Any and every scenario. I thought about it at work, in the shower, while making food, and while eating food. I couldn’t get it out of my damn mind.
I'm exhausted and I want to sleep for the entire day, but I can't not go. I’ve pumped myself up for this, and it’s something I need to face head-on. I got myself into this pickle, and I need to get myself out of it.
Climbing out of bed, I head to the bathroom to get myself all cleaned up for the day. After my shower, I'm wrapped up in a towel, contemplating my clothes. I don't know what the best outfit to wear is. I don't want to draw too much attention to myself, but I'm not about to dress like a bum either.
I hold up a pair of shorts. It is a warm day. I could throw on a simple t-shirt with these. Nice, but also inconspicuous. I like to keep my outfits low-key so that I don’t draw too much attention to myself. Living under the radar usually works out for me.
When I finish getting dressed and head downstairs, my parents are already in the kitchen having their morning coffee.
“You look nice, dear,” my mom remarks, motioning at my outfit.
“Oh, thank you. It's just something I threw on.”
“Well, it's perfect for today. You’re always so practical with your outfits but still manage to make them look cute. Your dad and I should be ready in about two hours. We're aiming to get there at eleven.”
“Okay, Mom. That sounds good.” I head back upstairs. I've decided to take a nap. That way, I’m all rested up for the confrontation. However it goes, I'm going to go in as prepared as possible.
I set my alarm for an hour and a half so that I’ll have time to redo my hair and makeup. Just a little shut eye, and I'll be all good.
Two hours later, the entire Thompson brood is in the car on our way to this barbecue. My dad is driving and chatting with my mom about the coworkers and friends they'll see. He enjoys mingling with them in a more casual atmosphere. He’s even invited a few to the house for dinner on occasion.
I’ve never really made friends with any of the other employees or their children. When I used to go to these events, I would talk to my friend Mamie afterward. If I recall correctly, we would basically just talk about Brick. He was just as handsome ten years ago as he is t
oday. The first time I saw him, I told Mamie I had seen the hottest guy ever and got a picture just for verification. She was floored by Brick and by Robert, the CFO.
But I was a teenage girl at the time. Of course I'd fawn over this hot guy I'd never have. It was harmless fun. Something for me and my best friend to giggle over while we were eating ice cream.
Now, I’m in dire circumstances.
We get to the barbecue right on schedule. It's held at this huge campground. A lot of different events are held here because it’s the perfect space for a variety of occasions. It also has a gorgeous greenhouse that, if I weren't so anxious about the upcoming conversation with Brick, I'd be hyped to get a peek at.
While my dad parks the car, I take deep breaths, doing my best to remain calm.
The three of us get out of our car and walk onto the lawn. I'm not sure where we'll find Brick, but I know he'll be here.
There’s all kinds of entertainment at the barbecue. Water slides and bouncy castles are set up, as are tents with games and stations like face painting and arts and crafts. And there is so much food. Brick really does a lot for these events. It’s kind of cool. I don't know why I stopped coming as an older teen. Probably because I thought I was too cool for something like this, and then I just never started going again.
Thankfully, my parents reminded me about it. Yeah, the circumstances surrounding my return suck, but at the very least, I'll get some free ribs.
“Do you want to get something to eat, George?” my mom asks my dad while hooking her arm in his.
“I think I want to talk to Brick first. He's always so tied up at these gatherings, and I just want to say hello now before we miss our chance.” My dad scans the crowd for his boss. Brick's a hard guy to miss, and I'm sure if I help look, we'd find him in seconds, but I keep my head down.