by S. E. Law
I’m sure Mamie is right. It’s probably all in my head. Doubts that I’m conjuring up in my head because I am feeling self-conscious.
“Okay, okay. You’re right. I need to calm down. I’m sure everything is fine. I’m overthinking it, and I just need to enjoy being with him.”
“Yes! And talk to him. Communication is everything. I’m sure once you guys have a good talk, you’ll realize that everything really is good between the two of you, and you guys can go from there. And he’ll call you his girlfriend in that corny way, and then you’ll have great sex.”
“Yes, Mamie. That is exactly how it will happen,” I giggle. “I’ll ask him, I promise. We have our date tomorrow, and I’m sure there will be time for this kind of conversation then.”
“Ooo! And tell me all about it afterward. I love hearing about your dates. You’re always doing so many cool activities. A lot cooler than the bars I go to anyway.”
“I like to hear about your dates, too! You’re always meeting so many interesting people. We can have a little gab session in a couple of days.”
“Yes, perfect! We can do a whole update. I’ll probably order Chinese food. I’ve been craving Chinese like crazy.” Mamie goes off on a bit of a tangent before saying goodbye and hanging up.
I lie down on my bed, intent on getting a bit of rest. One of the perks of being able to come home early. Soon, I’m in dreamland. As usual, my dream is about Brick. We’re on one of the many dates we’ve had in the past few months. He always takes me to the greatest places, where we have the most fun.
I’m woken up by a knock on my door.
“Tammy, honey. Are you in there? I saw your car out front.” I stretch, rubbing my eyes. Looking over at the clock, I see that I’ve been asleep for almost an hour and a half. Whew! That was a really good nap.
Getting out of bed, I walk over and open the door.
“Hi, Mom. Did you just get home?”
“Oh no, honey. Did I wake you up?”
“No, no. It’s nothing. You didn’t bother me at all. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. I did just get home, and I was surprised to see your car. I thought you had work for another hour or so.”
“Abigail closed the shop early. She had some event, and she thought it would just be better to close up shop entirely. So I got to come home early.”
“Oh, that’s nice, honey. I’m glad you got a little extra rest. You deserve it. If you don’t need anything from me, I’m going to get started on dinner. I’ll call you down when it’s ready. Your father should also be home in a bit. I’ll let him know you’re resting, though, so he won’t disturb you. Go back to sleep, okay?” She pats my cheek before heading back downstairs.
I don’t really have much to do. If my mom had asked me for help, I would have happily obliged, but since she didn’t, I’ll just lie down until it’s time for dinner.
I crawl back onto my bed and take out my phone. Mamie told me to calm down, and I told her that I would, but there’s something to be said for overanalyzing. Which is why I go straight to the texts between Brick and me. It’s a lot of flirty back and forth. He’s good at making me feel wanted, but here I am, still worrying over all of this stuff.
And it’s a very recent anxiety. At the beginning of our relationship, I was treating it as casual. Who would have guessed we’d keep this relationship going for so long? Not me! We’ve been sneaking around for months now. Because of how long we’ve been doing this, I think I’m starting to fall in love with him.
Oh fuck.
Mamie could be right. Brick could just automatically assume we’re an item, but he’s always so meticulous with things. I mean, usually he is anyway. And things have been heating up between us. We haven’t been taking as many precautions either.
I’m still always sneaking off to see him, like a girl in high school seeing her forbidden crush, but lately, not every place we go is outside the city limits.
We used to always go to his house outside the city if we wanted a night in, but since that’s a little farther away, in our rashness, we sometimes go to his apartment instead. It’s just closer, and I always want to rip his clothes off. Sometimes I just can’t do that long drive to the mansion.
Sometimes there’s an itch only Brick can scratch.
But all of this falling-in-love business is muddling my brain. Or that’s what I think is happening. I need a bit more time to process it. Thankfully, I’ve got the time. And I’ll be seeing Brick tomorrow, so there should be time to sit him down and have an emotional heart-to-heart. I just hope he’s open to it. We’ve talked a lot about ourselves – our hopes and dreams and the like – but we’ve never had a real deep conversation about our relationship.
I’m getting nervous just thinking about it.
“Oh boy,” I say to myself. I haven’t even managed to get a wink of sleep since my mom left. I check the clock; two hours have passed. My mom will be up in about an hour. I’d better try to get a little bit more sleep at this point.
My mother made us all a delicious dinner, and now we’re all eating together. The typical family dinner.
“How was your day, honey?”
“It was nice, Margie. I flubbed up on a project a couple days ago, but Brick was pretty calm about it. I was able to fix what I messed up, so I’m hoping to present it in a couple of days.”
“Oh, that’s nice. I know you’ve been worried about your work output, honey. I’m sure Brick will see that you’ve been working hard.”
“Hopefully. But like I said, he’s been different these past few weeks. Me and some of the other employees have been talking about it. We’re not sure what’s going on; it could be any number of things.”
“He’s not in a bad mood, is he?”
“No, just the opposite. He’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. It’s a whole new side to him that I’ve never seen before. I know he and Robert have been working on some huge deal, but a lot of the details haven’t trickled down yet. I guess it could be that.”
Brick did tell me about an expansion deal he and Robert have had in the works for some time. It’s supposed to give them more of a competitive edge, as well as be the catalyst for the company to get more into the awards season. He gave me some of the technical details at the time, but I didn’t understand all of it, so we just kind of left it at the simple explanation.
“Are you sure he hasn’t found someone?” my mom asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Like a girlfriend. Maybe he’s just in a happy relationship, and it’s spilling over into his work.”
Oh shit. I don’t think anyone from his work knows about us, though. Brick and I stopped by his office last week because he needed to pick up some folders, but it was really late, and I stayed in the car, making sure to stay hidden. I don’t think anyone saw me.
“I don’t know. We don’t hear a lot about the bosses’ personal lives. I mean, sometimes Robert will bring one of his girlfriends to company events, but Brick never has. Plus, we haven’t had a big company gathering since the barbecue at the botanical gardens. I mean, it’s possible he’s met someone, but there’s no way for me to know.” My dad shrugs.
“Well, I like that explanation. He deserves a little happiness. He really is such a good boss.”
“I’d have to agree with you on that one, honey.”
My parents stop talking for a little bit to focus on their food. I feel relieved to know that there aren’t any suspicions floating around at the studio. Still, Brick and I have not been taking as much care as we should.
Thankfully, I’m seeing him tomorrow. It looks like we have a lot to discuss. This concern should probably be the first thing I bring up because it’s the most important.
“Now that we’re talking about it,” my mom starts. I look up to see her giving me an odd look. “You’ve been pretty upbeat recently as well, Tammy. Has anything been going on? Something good, maybe?”
“Oh, um…” I trail off because I don’t have anything r
eady to say. I’ve had months to think up a lie, but I never actually took the time to do so. Now, I am very much on the spot.
“Margie, don’t freak our daughter out. She’s probably just happy because she’s happy.”
“You have been coming and going a lot more. I mean, you’re an adult, and you can do what you want to do, but we haven’t been able to see you as much as we normally do. I just thought that maybe there was some good news on the horizon that had you all happy.”
“There’s nothing major going on, Mom. Just the usual. I promise if there was some big event, I’d let you guys know.”
“I know, baby. I know. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am.” My parents get back to their dinner. I look down at my plate and push the food around on it. I’m starting to feel guilty about hiding all of this from them. I’ve been living for so long in a bubble with Brick, where the outside world isn’t much of a factor. It’s probably part of the reason why we’ve been throwing caution to the wind a lot more often.
Maybe it is time to tell my parents. And maybe there are people Brick wants to tell. His mother lives in another country – he set her up with the best of retirements – but I know she doesn’t know. The deal was if my parents don’t know, he would keep it from his mom too. And if we’re going to be serious, then I’d like to meet her. There are just so many factors to consider. Too many factors.
“I think I’m full. I’m going up to my room.”
“Are you feeling okay? Sorry if I was asking too many questions. Sometimes I get all mom crazy and want to know everything.”
“No, Mom. It isn’t that. I’m just tired. We’ve been doing a lot of orders at the shop recently.”
“Okay, you go back up to your room. Don’t worry about your plate. I’ll take care of it.” I thank my parents and say goodnight. I have a lot to think about in preparation for tomorrow.
I’m at work early the next day. Abigail texted me at 10:00 last night to say that she wanted me in an hour early because of our early dismissal the day before. I couldn’t really argue because I essentially had a half-day yesterday, but it would have been nice to have more of a warning. I’m so freaking tired.
“Tammy!” Abigail calls me from the second floor. “Don’t come up here. Can you go to the back and cut the stems off of the new shipment of roses?”
“Yes!” I yell back. I know Abigail will be down to run the register in a minute, so I’m not too worried. Once I’m in the back, I feel a sense of calm.
After going upstairs last night, I feel asleep almost immediately. I was supposed to be using that time to organize my thoughts and think of ways to talk to Brick, but apparently, I was a lot more tired than I thought I was.
I get the shears and start snipping away at the rose stems. Tonight, Brick is taking me out to spend the night at his house. I gave my parents another excuse as to why I’m going to be out for the night. They never question me.
I think tonight, I’m going to convince Brick that it’s better for us to go public with our relationship. I don’t think we need to hide it anymore.
Unless he has other reasons for wanting to keep us a secret.
That thought never crossed my mind until now. Maybe he’s embarrassed of me. We haven’t really gone on any public dates. If we do go somewhere public, he rents the entire place out, and the only people there are essential staff. His reasoning makes sense. He’s a pretty high-profile person, and there are people who would want to take his photo, depending on where we are.
No, I can’t get into my head like this. I can only know how Brick feels about our relationship by asking Brick about our relationship. Plain and simple.
I get through the box of roses, placing the destemmed ones neatly in a box and disposing of the snipped stems. Then I go back to the front of the store and find Abigail stocking shelves.
“I’m done with the roses. Is there anything else you need me to do in the back?”
“No, just man the register. There shouldn’t be any more inventory for today. We’re expecting a few walk-ins, though. Some brides are wanting to check out the flowers we have and discuss possible arrangements. I’m going to have you take care of that, okay?”
“Yeah, no problem.” One of my favorite parts about working as a florist is making arrangements. Working with brides-to-be, though? That can be a hit or a miss. Sometimes they go a little bridezilla on me. I’ve learned to handle it, though.
I’ve actually already made my own arrangement if I were ever to get married. I put a lot of thought into it. I wonder what it would be like to be married to Brick. Over the past few months, I’ve gotten a lot more used to his high-flying lifestyle.
Here’s hoping that he likes the idea of me being a more permanent fixture in that lifestyle.
20
Tammy
I’m getting ready for my date with Brick tonight. Since we’re just going to his house, I’m not going to do a whole lot. Just a light application of makeup and jeans with a nice tee.
It’s not like I’ll be wearing them for very long anyway.
I go downstairs and say goodbye to my parents. Brick and I have established that whenever he picks me up from my place, there’s a corner far enough away from the house that my parents for sure won’t see us. And they’ve never really wandered this way unless they’re visiting a neighbor, and they haven’t mentioned any upcoming visits recently.
Brick texts that he’s minutes away. I may have jumped the gun a bit, coming outside as soon as I did, but I got myself all worked up throughout the day, thinking about us potentially establishing our relationship. I’m sure everything will be fine.
I check the clock on my phone. Only a few minutes have passed, but I don’t like to be waiting on the street for too long. Anyone can happen upon me, and I don’t have a good explanation for why I’m out here. I guess waiting for an Uber is a somewhat passable excuse, even if I am a bit away from my actual house. An Uber pool it is, then.
I take a few deep breaths. All of the anxiety I feel has been manufactured in my head. Brick will be here any minute, and the two of us will go on a date, just like we have done several times over the last couple of months.
“Just calm down, Tammy. You’re making mountains out of molehills,” I mumble to myself. I watch the sunset. It’s dusk, so the sky is displaying a few nice shades of purple.
I hear people approaching and turn my head toward the footsteps. My entire body freezes when I see that my parents are the ones walking toward me.
MY PARENTS!
What are they doing here?! It’s not out of the ordinary for them to use a neighborhood walk as exercise. They’ve been doing so for twenty years. But they have taken the same route each time for those same twenty years, never deviating from their path. So why tonight? Why have they decided to change their routine tonight after all of these years?
They’re getting closer and closer to me, so it’s not like I have time to get these questions answered. They don’t appear to have seen me yet, so maybe I can walk to the corner in time and hide somewhere. Call Brick and tell him what’s going on before this whole plan goes off the rails.
I start to turn when I hear my mother call my name.
“Tammy?”
I stop moving. There’s no way for me to escape. My parents have seen me, and if I run away, I’m going to have to answer much worse questions later.
“Mom, Dad. Hi.” I put on a huge smile and hug my parents. I’m trying my best to remain calm, but my heart is pounding in my chest like a damn jackhammer. It feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest.
“What are you doing out here, honey? I thought you were going out tonight?”
“Yeah, I am. Just waiting for my Uber.”
“That’s a taxi thing? You call them with the app on your phone, right?” my dad asks.
“Mm-hmm,” I nod. “They’re supposed to pick me up here. It should be here soon, so you guys can continue on your walk.” I pray that they leave or that Br
ick keeps being delayed. Whatever needs to happen so that we can keep our secret for a little while longer.
“Oh no, we can wait with you. It’s not like we’re in a hurry.”
“Yeah, okay.” I look down the road; I don’t see Brick’s car just yet. I’ve got a little bit of time.
“Where are you going tonight? You didn’t really tell us your plans.”
“Just hanging out with friends. We’re just going to see where the night takes us, I guess.”
“That sounds like fun,” my mom nods. My dad is right there beside her, looking just as happy. I glance down the road again just in time to see a car turn the corner.
It’s Brick. Shit!
There’s no way for me tell him to stop. I want to wave my hands, to usher him away, but that would require drawing my parents’ attention to the situation. Everything seems to slow down. There’s nothing I can do about it.
Brick stops the car and rolls down the window.
“Tammy!” he yells my name.
My parents and I all turn. Whatever they were saying, they aren’t saying anymore. I see the color drain from Brick’s face when he sees what’s happening.
We all just look at one another, my eyes jumping between the three of them.
“Tammy?” my mom looks at me with a question in her eyes. I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing for me to say. They have to know what’s going on now. It’s obvious that Brick and I have been seeing one another in secret.
I stare at my parents, my heart dropping down to my feet.
“Tammy!” My dad snaps me out of my head by yelling my name. “What’s going on? Do you care to explain this?”
“Um, well. I was… Brick is… We’re…” I don’t finish any of my sentences. This isn’t how I planned on letting them know what’s going on. This is literally the worst way it could have happened.