I nod and take a sip of my milkshake to stop myself from making a bigger jackass of myself.
Minutes later she brings out my food and it hits me. I told her I would cook for her. I don’t cook. I could fuck up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I’m useless in the kitchen. It’s why I eat out for every damn meal.
No need to panic. I’ll place an order at the Pier and pick it up on my way home. She’ll never know. Easy. Simple. Nothing fancy.
Maggie is waiting on another customer when I leave, so I slip a five under the edge of my plate and head out. As I am driving through town, I get a call on my radio. Pete is drunk again and playing in the fountain in front of the Senior Citizen’s building.
When I roll up, I have to get my laughter out while I am still in my car. The nutty old coot is stripped bare and running through the fountain. The dumb bastard will be lucky if he doesn’t slip on the pennies in the bottom and break a hip.
Exiting my car my good mood leaves me. Red curly hair is hugging her shoulders. The locks of hair I used to twist around my fingers after we made love. Her alabaster skin as creamy as milk. Skin I used to touch and taste. Carly is standing to the side with a pinched expression on her face. Her arms are folded over her middle and that’s when I notice it. Her baby bump. She’s pregnant with Roger’s baby. I should have suspected with how fast their wedding popped up out of nowhere.
A month before they got married she had reached out to me. Telling me that she made a mistake that she missed me. I told her not to contact me again. She had made her choice. Now I see that I did the right thing. Roger and I haven’t spoken since he betrayed me but once upon a time, he was like a brother to me and as hurt as I was, I’ve moved past it and I would never hurt him the way that they did me.
“Hey there, deputy. Look!” Pete shouts then reaches down to grab a handful of coins. “I found the pot at the end of the rainbow.”
“That’s great, Pete, but I’m going to need you to get out of the fountain and put your clothes on.”
“I’m rich,” he cries pumping his bony fist in the air.
Eventually I coax him into following my orders. After a night in the drunk tank he’ll be good as new. I get him situated in the back of my car and when I close the door Carly is standing behind me.
“Thank you for getting here quickly. I don’t know how much longer I could stomach seeing his old shriveled…you get the idea.”
“Just doing my job.”
“You’re off probation. I’m glad.”
“Yup.” I pop the p. “Well, gotta get back to work.”
“Listen, Calder. I meant what I said when I called you. It’s just…” she rubs her growing belly.
“I get it. No need to explain. I’m happy for you both and wish you everything you deserve.”
“Calder…”
“I gotta go, Carly. Give Roger my best.” I open my door and climb in but when I go to shut the door she’s standing in my way.
“He misses you too you know. You guys were so close.”
“And now we’re not. Now if you could move.”
“Fine. You know what I’m done trying to mend our friendship. If you want to be bitter and resentful that’s on you.”
I roll my eyes. “We were supposed to get married. I never wanted to be your friend. I was in love with you.”
“And now?” She asks.
“Now I feel like I never even really knew you.”
“Wow. Okay. You know what, Calder. I was there for you when you lost your sister. I tried to give you space, but I was tired of being second place to her ghost. I was lonely, and Rog was there for me in ways you couldn’t be. I’m not going to be sorry for that.”
“You shouldn’t be because I finally have realized you did me a favor. What we had wasn’t love, Carly. It was familiar and comfortable and marrying you felt like the right thing to do.”
She steps out of the way and I slam my car door shut and back out of the parking lot feeling refreshed. Unburdened. I’ve needed to have that conversation with Carly for some time. I just never realized it until now. She’s put everything into perspective for me.
Chapter 4
I knew if I turned Calder down for dinner it would seem suspicious after discovering he’s a cop. It shook me for a minute, but this could be a good thing. If I earn his trust it could either work in my favor or blow up in my face. He did look cute in his uniform. Sexy even. And his smile. He has this smile that makes me feel like it’s meant only for me which is weird considering we only just met, but I feel like we share a connection. Here I am getting ready to go over to his place hoping this dinner goes well. I have no idea if it is supposed to be a date. I bought a dress and a tube of lipstick along with some perfume in case. I grab the dessert I bought and take a deep breath.
An older woman was going around selling desserts. She was so tiny and wrinkly. I felt so bad for her. No one was buying them. I just had to buy something, so I got a chocolate cake and figured we can have it after dinner.
His police cruiser sitting right outside should make me feel uneasy but, in a way, it makes me feel safe. I knock lightly while balancing the cake. Calder answers the door looking handsome and smelling so good. He’s wearing a white tee and dark jeans. But that shirt hugs his biceps and his chest. My hormones are going crazy. Because right now all I want to do is kiss the guy when he looks at me with such adoration.
His moonlit grey eyes linger on my face and not my chest. That fact alone makes him a winner in my book.
“What’s this?” he takes the cake box from my hand. I put it in a carryout box from the diner.
“You’re cooking so I thought I would handle dessert.”
“That’s really thoughtful.”
I shrug and wave him off. “It’s no big deal.”
“Well, please come in.” He turns to go to the kitchen, and I have to say the man looks as good going as he does coming. His apartment is a mirror image of mine. Same furniture even. I bet it came from when this place was a resort.
His apartment is much more personal than mine. He has photos and sports memorabilia on display giving it the personal touch.
I follow him into the kitchen where he has a fold-out table and two chairs set up with our food served and our glasses ready to be filled.
“What would you like to drink? I’m a beer man myself but I got wine for you.”
“Yeah sure. Wine is good.” I’ve never drank wine a day in my life. Wine coolers maybe but not the real deal. He gets a bottle out of the fridge that says Moscato on the label. Filling my glass, he sits the bottle on the table then he says, “Oh. I’m sorry.” A true gentleman, he pulls my chair out for me. A wave of his cologne hits me again as he helps me scoot my chair forward. Why does he have to smell so damn good?
“Thank you. You didn’t have to go to so much trouble. This,” I point my fork at the food, “smells incredible.” There’s baked chicken parmesan, a small salad, and garlic bread on my plate. “I’m impressed.” I smile over the brim of my wine glass as I go to take a sip.
“I’m glad you like it.” Popping the cap off his beer he tells me to dig in.
I take the first bite and it’s better than I expected. “Where did you find the time to do all this after your shift?” I arch a brow as I take another bite.
“I’ve got my ways.” He winks, and I blush.
Over the course of our meal I discover he is hugely into baseball. His favorite team is the Dodgers. We do share some common interest in TV and movies. We both enjoy comedies. Things are going well. The conversation is light and fun. He hasn’t asked me anything too personal about my life before, and I feel comfortable with him and the fact that he is a cop isn’t bothering me like I had imagined it would.
I ask about his day and he tells me a hilarious story about a naked old guy in a fountain. For a small town it has its share of characters. Once we are both finished eating, I help clean up our plates. When I open the trash can I see the takeout bag for our dinner.
I clear my throat and look at Calder pointedly.
His face reddens, and he rubs the back of his neck. “You caught me. I can’t cook. I’m terrible in the kitchen, I just wanted to impress you,” he confesses with a sheepish smile.
“Are you even a cop or do you just like wearing the uniform,” I tease and we both laugh.
“Ha. You got jokes.” He takes a step toward me and I bite my bottom lip. He’s got this concentrated look on his face like he’s deciding where or not to kiss me.
I’m nervous about it the whole situation so I pick up my cake and thrust it toward him. “Dessert?”
“Yeah. Dessert,” he repeats me, but I know cake is the last thing on his mind with the way he is staring at me. “I really like your dress. You look good in green It matches your eyes.” He cuts two squares and plates them.
“Thank you.” I take a bite of cake, stuffing my mouth full.
“Wanna watch a movie?” He nods his head toward the living room.
“Sure,” I mumble swallowing my bite. “This cake is really dry.” I refill my wine and carry the glass with me.
When we sit, he sits next to me, his knee touching mine. I don’t know what it is but pure happiness washes over me and I can’t stop gazing over at Calder and smiling.
“This is good,” he tells me after eating half of his piece.
“Weren’t we going to watch something?” I hedge, trying to get my mind out of the gutter because right now I really want to toss both our plates aside and kiss him madly.
He places his plate and mine on the coffee table. “Yeah but I’d rather do this,” he whispers, leaning in close. His thumb brushes some icing away from the corner of my lip and he licks it off his thick digit.
“Lick icing off your fingers,” I flirt in a sultry tone I have never heard myself use before.
“No.” His mouth connects with mine. His lips soft, tasting of chocolate and beer. My mouth parts and my tongue seeks out his. Calder cups my face between his hands and flames shoot up my spine as warmth pools in my belly. Maybe it’s the wine or maybe it is simply him but, in this moment, I feel like I am floating. Our kiss is brutally intense, and I am struggling to breathe. He gives me butterflies. He makes me feel things I was beginning to believe might be lost to me forever. “God, you’re so sexy and I can’t stop kissing you.” Crashing his mouth down on mine once more he takes charge and I allow him to. One hand is resting on my thigh while the other squeezes my breast. I wrap my arms around his neck loving his scent and the way he is making me feel.
I need this. To feel wanted. To be desired by a good man like him, but I can’t stop thinking about Chris and feeling guilty when really, I shouldn’t. The dude was awful to me. Downright terrible. Truthfully, he got what he deserved but what about Calder. He seems so sweet. He deserves something better than me. A girl on the run who may have killed her boyfriend and stolen (accidentally I might add) a shit ton of money and drugs from a bad guy like Flip. A guy so bad he had no problem beating me so severely that I had a miscarriage.
“Wait.” I pull back. “Maybe we should slow down.”
“If that’s what you want.” Hot and sticky his breath clings to me as he talks between peppering kisses along my jaw. It’s not what I want but it would probably be for the best. “Tell me to stop.” His teeth nip at my ear and the words are on the tip of my tongue, but I let out a moan instead. “Because if you don’t, I may break out my cuffs and keep you here all night, doing all the dirty things that raced through my mind when I first saw you tonight in this dress.”
“Calder,” I say his name ready to tell him to stop but I don’t. My pulse is racing, I like Calder. I really do but it’s as if Chris is popping into my head on purpose trying to sabotage me. I keep thinking about how he looked laying in the floor. Unmoving. So…lifeless and here I am with some new guy I hardly know having a great time. I feel guilty, but don’t I deserve a good guy? “Don’t stop.” My voice comes out unsure and he ceases kissing me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry. I thought I was ready but I’m not. It’s too soon after my breakup. I just. I gotta go.” I pop up from the couch, leaving a bewildered Calder behind as I run out. When I get inside my apartment and the door shuts behind me, I sink down to the floor, holding my head in my hands.
I don’t know what I’m doing or why I just walked out like I did but it’s probably better that I don’t get involved with anyone. Who knows when something might happen or when I will have to pick up and leave? This is only meant to be temporary. I should be able to have casual sex, but I can’t because deep down I know Calder isn’t the kind of guy you have a one-night stand with. And I know that I really don’t know him well enough to make that judgment call, but I have this feeling about him.
That’s why I need to do this and put distance between us. If I don’t, I will only hurt him. That seems to be what I am good at. Hurting people whom I care about.
Chapter 5
Calder
For the past two weeks Maggie has been avoiding me. She waits until I leave or slips out before I rise in the mornings. I don’t know what I did. Things were going well until they weren’t. I can’t get her out of my head. I think about her all the time. Maggie won’t even look me in the eye. Whenever I go into the diner, she sends Kathy, a woman old enough to be my mother to wait on me.
I have a feeling there is more going on with her than meets the eyes. I just don’t know what…yet. She can’t avoid me forever. Not in a town as small as Crimson Cove. I’ve tried doing it myself with Roger and Carly. With him being a member of the volunteer fire department, our paths are bound to cross like today when a middle schooler set a trash can on fire in the bathroom. He tried to talk to me, but I have nothing to say to the guy outside of us doing our jobs. Sure, I wish him well and never want anything bad to happen to him but that is as far as it will ever go. I can never go back to being his friend again. At first, I thought it was just about Carly but it’s the fact that he lied to me. I hate liars.
My shift is finally over, and all I want to do is get out of my uniform and kick back with a cold drink and forget that Roger had the nerve to try and talk to me about becoming a father. I get that he’s happy and wanted to talk to a friend, but I am no longer that guy to him. I haven’t been for a long time. When I get to the edge of town, I come up on Maggie struggling with shopping bags.
I slow down as I go to pass her, rolling the passenger side window down. Her hair is falling out of the messy bun she has it in and her mascara is smeared when she looks over. “Need a lift.”
“I’m good,” she says with a frown.
This is ridiculous. I pull off onto the shoulder in front of her and exit my car. “Stop being stubborn and too proud. Get in. I’m no taking no for an answer. You’re obviously overloaded and it’s going to take you forever to get home. Let me help you.”
“Fine,” she states coolly.
I take the bags from her and place them in the backseat of my cruiser. Silently, she gets in the front with me. “Hey. Why so nervous? It’s not like I’m taking you in or something.” I chuckle and squeeze her hand. She’s shaking. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing.” She pulls her hand away and looks out the window.
“It doesn’t feel like nothing. I’m not getting back on the road until you answer me.”
“You’ll laugh.”
“I pinky promise not to laugh.” I hold my pinky out. “Do you trust me, Maggie?”
“I want to.” Hooking her pinky with mine she offers me a weak smile, but still it’s a smile. “Cops, anyone of authority really make me nervous. I always get this guilty feeling when I see a cop car like I did something wrong.”
“You been shoplifting,” I crack at her trying to ease the tension as I get back on the road.
Her eyes roll. “See. I told you that you’d find it funny.”
“I’m sorry. Okay. I like you. I just need to fix whatever it was that went wrong between us.”
Her eyes meet mine full of sadness. “It’s not you. The last guy I dated wasn’t good for me. I’m not in a good place to be dating. Anyway, I came here to the Cove, so I could write.”
“You’re a writer?”
“I want to be.”
“That’s great.” We arrive at our unit and I help her carry her bags in.
“You don’t think its dumb?”
“What? That you want to pursue writing?” She nods. “Not at all. I think everyone should go for their dreams, Maggie. I’d love to read something if you are inclined to share with me.”
“Oh no. I couldn’t. I haven’t written anything worth reading. Not yet.”
“I’m a patient guy, Maggie. I’ve got time. I’ll wait for you…until you’re ready. I’m not just talking about your writing just so we’re clear.” That earns me a real genuine smile from her. “There you are, pretty girl.” I tilt her chin up and place a single kiss on her lips. With those words and the brief kiss, I take my leave. I don’t want to push her, but I wanted her to know where I stand.
I grab a quick shower and gather up my dirty laundry and go around back to use the washroom. Maggie is in the backyard putting her clothes on the line. She hasn’t noticed me, but damn do I see her and the pair of black lace thongs she is holding up. My jaw ticks and I wish things had gone differently the night we had dinner. I sit my basket on the counter and ask her if she is done with the wash.
“Yeah. Go for it.”
I nod and get busy doing my own thing. When I get done loading the washer she’s already gone. I meant what I said about being patient. I don’t know what happened between Maggie and her ex but when she’s ready to open up to me about it I’ll be here.
Later in the night I’m lying on the couch watching this new show about a motorcycle club and eating popcorn when I hear what sounds like a knock coming from the door that connects my apartment to Maggie’s. The sound is faint but then it repeats.
Calder & Maggie Page 3