“Hayir!” The man shook his head and waved a hand back and forth in the air.
“But,…herpes,” said Natalia in English, pointing downward. She knew what she was risking. A beating or worse, if Ludmilla found out, but she was willing to take that chance. The man paused, disbelief turning toward anger. But then he looked again at those long gorgeous legs… She held up the condom and he nodded acquiescence, fumbling as he pulled her slip up and over her head. She felt the man’s hot breath on her neck, the chubby fingers of his right hand running down the side of her torso. She smelled the stale odor of cigarettes mixed with perspiration. He stepped back to strip off his clothes, exposing a fat, hairy belly hanging over thin, spindly legs. An erection protruded from beneath dirty underwear. Natalia couldn’t hide her disgust as he slid them to the floor, her face screwing up into a grimace. She took out the condom, placed it on top of his penis and rolled it down. It was only a mechanical act. It meant nothing. Like a trip to the doctor. Soon it would be over. She tried to disassociate herself from the moment.
The man threw Natalia to the bed and climbed on top of her clumsily. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth as he entered her, the weight of his body heaving up and down upon hers, the bedsprings squeaking rhythmically. In her mind’s eye, Natalia found herself in the fields on a bright spring day, singing with her mother and her sister as they ran their scythes through waving stalks of wheat.
Chapter Ten
“I’m starting to show.” Sonia sat quietly, facing a bowl of thin soup. Across from her at the kitchen table were Victoria and Natalia. They’d lost track of how long they’d been in this place. Two and a half weeks? Three? Days and nights blended together in a blur, as though time itself had simply ceased to exist. They lived in a constant state of numbness, trying in vain to suppress their brutal reality, forced to service seven or eight men per day, sometimes more. If only they could shut their emotions off completely, perhaps they might survive. If they could cease thinking altogether. They were no longer human beings. They were flesh and they were blood, and that was all. This was the coping mechanism that all of them attempted but none could fully master. Inside the soul of each girl, the screaming and the crying and the sheer disbelief never ceased.
“You’re pregnant?!” Victoria was aghast.
“Shhhh!!!” Natalia hissed. “Keep it down!”
“What am I going to do?” Sonia continued in a trance-like state, eyes glassed-over.
“Maybe you should tell them,” said Victoria. “Before they find out on their own.”
“No! I’m not telling them!” countered Sonia with a rare burst of passion. “I’m not losing this baby!”
Victoria pursed her lips, slowly stirring her own soup.
“I can’t hide it much longer. Ludmilla might even know already.” Sonia looked over her shoulder.
“Maybe we can give a note to someone,” said Victoria. “To one of our customers. We could give them a note explaining the situation and ask them to take it to the police.”
“And why would they do that?” scoffed Natalia.
“Some of the men are not so bad…” Victoria continued.
“None of them would tell the police about this place!”
“Then what?!” Victoria was wounded by Natalia’s dismissive tone.
“We need to get our hands on a phone. We’ve got to call for help ourselves.”
“But how do we get a phone?”
“Ask those nice men you were just talking about.”
“I can’t wait that long. I need to get out of this place right now!” Sonia seethed, her despair morphing into fury.
“You know what they’ll do to us if we try to leave!” said Victoria.
“We need to come up with a plan,” said Natalia. “There’s got to be a way.”
“I’ve been thinking about it,” answered Sonia. “I have an idea.”
“Let’s hear it.” Natalia grasped Sonia’s hand.
“I’m not sure you going to like it…”
“Let us be the judge of that. At this point, I’m willing to try just about anything.”
The first light of day crept through the window in the lounge, heralding the end of another long night. Natalia sat on one of the couches with Maria, Tanya and Sonia. Dusan sat in a chair by the front door, struggling to keep his eyes open. It was just past 5 a.m. and most of the girls were finished for the evening. This was the quiet time, when only a few drunk and lonely men dribbled in.
“I’m going to sleep.” Tanya stood from the couch with a stretch.
The intercom buzzed and the sleepy Dusan flinched, opening his eyes wide to look around in confusion. When he regained his bearings, he pressed the button on the intercom to unlock the door at street level and then they waited. After a minute or so they heard a knock. Dusan unlocked the door and swung it open. A tall, stocky man with greasy dark hair sauntered in like he owned the place. Tanya sat back down with a sigh as Dusan closed and locked the door again.
“Is this it?” The man over the four girls.
“Take your pick or get out,” Dusan answered testily.
The man eyed Dusan briefly and decided not to make a fuss. Instead he turned back to the merchandise, scrutinizing each girl in turn. As he sauntered past them, Natalia averted her eyes. She always averted her eyes, but this time there was even more at stake. They’d been waiting for days to spring Sonia’s plan. So far the timing hadn’t been right. Natalia knew they’d have a chance this morning, if only this man chose another girl. Tanya or Maria. Either one would do. Natalia concentrated on the far wall, willing the man to keep moving. He took a few more steps and then stopped in front of Tanya and pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. He took one of the cigarettes, lit it and inhaled. “This one,” he said with a tilt of his head.
“Fine,” Dusan replied. Tanya rose and led the man away. When they were gone, Dusan looked at the remaining girls and then at his watch. He put the keys to the door in his pocket, rubbed the top of his head with one hand and then moved down the hall, disappearing into the clients’ bathroom.
“It’s time!” Sonia whispered. She and Natalia jumped up and ran to Natalia’s room. They pulled the comforter off the bed and threw it to the floor. Natalia stripped off the top sheet and they ran back to the lounge and then out onto the balcony.
“What are you doing?” Maria gasped.
“Leaving,” Sonia replied. “Up and over to the roof. You better come with us.”
When Natalia glanced over the edge she was struck with fear. An acute, immediate fear that told her she might actually die. Right here and right now. It was five stories straight down. She’d pictured this outcome since they first arrived, but either from being thrown or from jumping on her own. Somehow the prospect of falling to her death by mistake scared her even more.
“I’ll go first,” said Sonia.
“No!” Natalia countered. “I’m stronger. I’ll go.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” countered Sonia. “It was my idea!”
“Don’t argue with me!” Natalia snapped. “There’s no time! I can help pull you up.”
“Fine,” Sonia relented. “But hurry!”
Natalia climbed onto the thin balcony rail, balancing on her two feet with her hands against the wall. The roofline was just beyond her reach. “Hand me the sheet.” She struggled not to look down again. If she looked down, she might not go through with it. This was no time to waver. Above her and to the left, a short metal pipe stuck up out of the roof. It was one meter past the left edge of the balcony, which left nothing but thin air between this bit of pipe and the sidewalk below. Natalia took her sheet and carefully threaded it through her hands, forming a loop in the middle. She wobbled on the rail as she tried to toss the loop up and over the pipe.
“Natalia, don’t do this! Please!” pleaded Maria. “They’ll hurt you! They’ll hurt us all!”
“Quiet!” said Natalia. “If you don’t like it, go hide in your room!”
On the third try she succeeded; the sheet held tight, looped around the pipe. Natalia gripped it with both hands and tugged, adrenaline beginning to surge through her veins. She could do this. For Sonia even more than for herself. Natalia gripped the sheet tightly and swung out over the edge of the balcony, hanging 30 meters above solid concrete. Her legs kicked as her fingers began to slip through the folded linen.
Maria held her hand to her mouth, stifling a scream. Sonia leaned over the balcony rail, trying to reach Natalia’s right foot to help push her upwards. Natalia tightened her grip on the sheet, holding both sides together. If she let go of either side, the sheet would be released from the pipe and she would fall to her death. Natalia vowed to herself not to go like this. Not after everything they’d been through. With all of her strength, she bunched the two halves of the sheet together in one hand, releasing her other to grab a section above. Hand over hand she climbed to the edge of the roof. She was making progress, but with the sheet tight against the cornice at the top, she couldn’t get her fingers underneath. “Where’s Dusan?!” she called down.
“I don’t know!” Maria glanced nervously through the door. “Just come back!”
“It’s too late for that.” Natalia thrust a hand over the top and clasped onto the pipe itself. It seemed an impossible task to get her body up and over. Through her mind flashed an image of herself, splayed out on the sidewalk below, bones shattered, body lying in a pool of blood. With a monumental lunge, she threw her second hand up and around the pipe and then slowly pulled herself upwards. For one brief moment, nothing else existed. Not the brothel or the sidewalk. Not the future nor the past. All of her focus was on this pipe between her fingers. On this rooftop, her singular goal. Her forearms dug into tar and gravel. She pushed one foot and then the other against the wall, gaining traction with her toes. Tapping reserves of strength she didn’t know she had, over the top she went. Natalia rolled onto her back, eyes gazing upwards at the fading stars. She’d made it. She was alive. For a few brief seconds she stayed where she was, considering how close she had been to the opposite outcome. She rolled onto her side and peered over the edge. Maria and Sonia stood still on the balcony below, staring up in awe.
“You did it!” said Sonia, as though she could hardly believe it herself. “Now hurry, swing the sheet over so I can reach!”
“No!” countered Natalia. “Maria is right, it’s too dangerous!”
“But you can’t leave me here! You can’t!”
“I’ll pull you up from over the balcony!” Natalia hurriedly retracted the sheet and then moved along the edge of the roof until she was standing just above the others. She wrapped one end of the sheet around her right wrist and grasped it with both hands before lowering the other end down. Natalia spread her legs in a wide stance and held on tight. “Take the end!”
Sonia grasped the sheet as tightly as she could. She pulled herself just off the ground, legs flailing. “Maria, help me!” she shouted.
“Shh! Quiet!” Maria took hold of Sonia’s legs and pushed her upwards.
On the roof, Natalia clenched her teeth and took two steps backwards, worrying that she might slip and go hurtling off the edge herself. Very carefully, she pulled Sonia up as she went. They were almost there… So close!
“Hurry!” whispered Maria. “I think he’s coming!!!”
“I almost got it!” said Sonia.
Natalia saw the fingers of Sonia’s right hand appear over the edge of the rooftop. “That’s it!” Natalia’s feet slid back across bits of gravel.
“Pull!” Sonia begged.
“I’m trying!” Natalia slid further still.
“I can’t hang on much longer!” cried Sonia.
“Yes you can!” Natalia called back.
Suddenly Natalia felt the sheet go slack. She hurried to the edge and looked down. Sonia stood on the balcony below her, shoulders slumped in defeat. “I can’t do it, Natalia! I don’t have the strength…”
“Yes you do, try again! I’m not leaving you here!” Natalia quickly scanned the roof. There was a small air vent two meters further back. She could tie the sheet to that. Then tie another sheet to this one and lower it over. She could help pull Sonia up with her own bare hands. “Get another sheet!” she called out, but when she peered over the edge again, the girls were no longer looking up at her. They were looking into the apartment.
“Pull it up!” whispered Sonia.
“What are you doing out there?!” came Dusan’s voice from inside.
“What does it look like?” snapped Sonia. “We’re getting some air!”
Natalia quickly pulled the sheet up and out of sight. “I’ll be back for you, I promise!” she whispered down, her heart breaking. When she saw the top of Dusan’s shaved head directly beneath her, she froze, too afraid to even breathe.
“Where is Natalia?” Dusan demanded.
“She’s gone to bed,” said Maria. “Where we should be.”
Dusan grasped the balcony rail and looked down. “Ok, get back inside,” he muttered. Natalia saw him pull a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He lit one and leaned against the rail to watch the emerging daylight. All he had to do was look up and behind him and he’d see her, too. At any moment he might turn around. Very slowly Natalia moved backwards, trying not to make a sound. When she was out of view, she stayed frozen in place. After a few minutes more she heard the balcony door latch close. He’d gone inside.
Natalia had to find a way to the street, before they realized she was gone. The rooftop was flat and nearly barren, with all of the buildings on the block connected to one another. Each building had its own small shack on top, along with a door. She hurried across to the next building and tried the knob. It was locked. She moved on to the next, hopping over the low wall between them. She wore only her green slip, with no shoes on her feet. Her arms were scrapped and bruised. But she was out. Or nearly so. The third door she tried swung open to reveal a thin stairway leading down into darkness. Natalia grasped a rail and made her way one flight below until she came to another door. Opening this one, she saw a button on a wall glowing orange. She pressed it and a dim light came on. She was in a proper stairwell. Around and around she went, hurrying downwards.
At the very bottom, one last door stood between Natalia and the street. She turned the knob and pushed but the door was locked tight. She rattled it back and forth with all of her might. It wouldn’t open. Quickly, she rang the bell of the nearest apartment. Again and again she pushed the buzzer, banging on the door with a fist until a sleepy old man opened the door. He wore threadbare pajamas and slippers on his feet. His gray hair was mostly gone but what remained stood up in long, unruly strands. He squinted through thick glasses, trying to understand what was happening. Natalia pushed past him and on inside, hurrying to the nearest window. She threw open the blinds but the glass was covered with steel bars.
She turned to the man abruptly. “Let me out of here!” she shouted in Russian, but he merely looked on in confusion. “The door! The door!” She rushed back into the hallway to point. Suddenly the man seemed to understand. Natalia lunged forward and grabbed him by the shoulders, leaning close as she whispered into his ear, this time in English, “Open the door.” The man nodded his head. Natalia let go her grip and he took two steps across the foyer and pressed a round button on the wall. Natalia heard a buzzing sound as the lock released. She pushed the door open. Before she moved through, Natalia turned toward the old man and put a finger to her lips. He nodded, holding a hand in the air to appease her. Natalia slipped outside and the door closed behind her.
The narrow street was eerily quiet in the early dawn, with no cars or passersby in sight. Natalia padded down the sidewalk in her bare feet, a few overhead bulbs helping light the way. After two blocks, she came to the wider avenue that she recognized from her arrival ten days before. Even at this early hour, small groups of men gathered on the sidewalks in front of 24-hour kebab shops and small markets. Natalia looked left and then turned ri
ght and continued on her way, unsure of where to go or what to do. The eyes of the men were all on her, luridly admiring her flesh. An old Toyota slowed beside her and Natalia looked over to find a man leering at her through the car window. He called out and then reached across to open the passenger door, nodding and waving for her to climb inside.
“You don’t understand. I need the police!” she said in Russian. “Can you tell me where to find the police? Polis!”
This last word the man understood. He pulled the door closed, gunned his engine and took off down the avenue. As she continued along the sidewalk, Natalia realized that some of the men she’d passed were following her. Four of them hung back ten meters behind, matching her step for step and watching her every movement. She came to three taxi cabs, parked by the curb while their drivers stood idly by having a smoke.
“Polis!” Natalia called out to the stunned men, who merely gawked at her in return. One of the followers caught up and tapped Natalia on the shoulder. She jumped at his touch, spinning around to face him.
“Polis,” he repeated. The man was thin and small, with a narrow, twisted face.
“Da, polis!?” said Natalia.
The man raised a hand and pointed. Further down the block, on the other side of the street, a car sat parked. It was white, with a blue stripe and the word POLIS written along the side. Natalia rushed off toward it, leaving her crowd of curious admirers behind. When she tapped on the car window, two officers inside looked up in surprise. They said a few words to each other and then opened their respective doors and climbed out. The driver was an older man, short and stocky. He hiked up the pants on his blue uniform and gave her a curious look. The other officer was taller, thin and young. He was handsome and perhaps a little less sure of himself; bashful even in the way he cleared his throat and tried to keep himself from staring too long at her body in that flimsy green slip.
Russia Girl Page 5