by Nina Kaye
‘What the…?’ I gasp loudly, suddenly bursting with disbelief and emotion.
The new occupiers of the table next to me give me an odd look.
‘Are you OK, hon?’ one of them asks me.
‘I… I’m…’ I stare at her blankly. ‘I mean… yes… I am. I… have to go…’
Without sharing anything further, I stuff my notepad into my bag, throw on my jacket, and rush out of the bar.
Chapter 31
I’m out of breath by the time I’ve run the three blocks from Hanover Street to the restaurant. Realising that turning up a sweaty mess probably won’t be the best start, I hide around the corner until I’ve cooled down a bit. As I’m taking some deep calming breaths and trying to sort my head out, light snowflakes start to flutter around my head.
All this time, I had thought I was speaking to a complete stranger, pouring my heart out. I have so many questions, my brain feels like it’s about it burst. But I also feel a bit queasy with nerves. How will this go? Will I feel the same way now that we’re meeting in person and I know who GrahamLeeton really is? I realise that if I don’t walk inside that restaurant right now, sweaty mess or not, my mind will overtake my initial instincts. I’ll be paralysed by paranoia and worry about how this will pan out.
‘Right, go!’ I say out loud to myself.
I straighten my top and jacket, then casually stroll around the corner and open the door to Delizioso. It’s a modern and slightly upmarket Italian brasserie just to the north of Queen Street Gardens, where the city centre meets the New Town. Facing the buzz of Friday night diners, and bustling waiting staff, I’m immediately approached by a male waiter.
‘Buona sera, signora. You must be Liv.’
‘Err… that’s right.’ I’m baffled by him knowing who I am.
‘Come with me.’ He flashes me a knowing smile. ‘Signor is waiting.’
He leads me through to the festively lit, beautifully decorated back section of the restaurant where the dining is a bit more private and intimate. As we turn a corner, I see the man I’ve known until now as GrahamLeeton sitting at a table in a white cave-like alcove, looking nervous. My heart skips a beat. Hearing us approach, he glances up. Our eyes meet, and I instinctively know that, despite the less than flowing conversations we have in person, whatever was there online between us is still there.
‘Hi,’ I greet him tentatively as the waiter melts away into the background.
‘Hi.’ Aaron jumps up and pulls out my chair for me.
‘Well, this is a surprise.’ I suddenly feel shy.
‘A good surprise?’ He studies my face, understandably keen to know my reaction to finding out he’s the elusive GrahamLeeton.
‘That depends, I suppose. Aren’t you married?’
‘Divorced,’ he replies. ‘Although I’ve kept that under wraps. I tend not to share my personal life with my staff.’
I glance at his ring finger and see that it’s bare. How did I not notice that before?
‘That’s a good start.’ I say, and although I’m pleased to hear this, I’m not letting him off that easily. ‘It also depends on your explanation for disappearing like that.’
‘OK, let’s deal with that straight away.’ His voice has that clipped tone to it again.
Despite feeling a level of attraction to him I hadn’t previously, I find myself wondering: how he could really be the man who was so open and chatty, and shared so much with me for all those weeks? It seems incomprehensible.
‘Works for me,’ I prompt him, sensing that his intention to talk about it is genuine; making it a reality appears more difficult.
‘Actually, slight diversion.’ He sits forward. ‘I can see you’re wondering how I’m so different in person to who you have gotten to know online.’
‘Is it that obvious?’ I shift in my seat, embarrassed that my innermost thoughts are so transparent.
‘Yes, it is.’ He thumbs his napkin. ‘But that’s OK. It’s a perfectly reasonable question.’
‘Aaron, you don’t have to—’
‘Liv, I do.’ He looks me directly in the eye. ‘I want you to know who I am.’
‘OK, sure.’ I gesture to him to continue.
‘I’ve always been a bit awkward socially. It’s nothing more than a confidence thing – I think. I need to get to know people properly to feel at ease with them and be myself.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with that.’ I feel the urge to put a reassuring hand on his, but unsure as to how he’ll react, I hold back.
‘You’re right. There’s not.’ He waggles his head from side to side in a gesture of weighing things up. ‘But it would be a damn sight easier if I had the natural charisma of someone like Josh or Amir.’
I flinch at mention of Josh’s name, now realising that while Aaron has a disappearing act to explain, having two blokes on the go at once has just been added to my list.
‘Charisma only takes a person so far.’ I shrug.
‘It does.’ He nods. ‘You’re right. But it makes for an easy start with people. How many people ignore first impressions?’
‘Fair enough.’ I have to concede this point. ‘So, it’s easier for you to be more open online when you’re anonymous, I get that. Probably the same for a lot of people. But none of that matters, Aaron. Now that I’ve gotten to know the real you, charisma has fallen to the bottom of my list.’
‘You have no idea how pleased I am to hear that.’ He smiles at me, and seems to relax ever so slightly. ‘Breadstick?’
He offers me the basket and I take a breadstick from it. He then starts to pour me a glass of water from the jug on the table.
‘Thanks. So, you were going to explain why you cut all contact?’ I prompt him once more.
‘It’s very simple.’ Aaron takes a sip of water. ‘When your blog became public, you were fired. There was a lot of talk about how you’d been having an online relationship with someone else behind Josh’s back.’
I flinch again at the mention of this.
‘I realised that I needed to back off,’ Aaron continues. ‘I’d created a mess for you. Also, if it had come out that I was involved, my job would have been at risk. I have a daughter, so I just couldn’t let that happen.’
‘Of course,’ I murmur.
Aaron pauses for a moment before explaining further. ‘As I couldn’t meet you in person, and you were becoming – quite understandably – frustrated by this, I thought it best to disappear. I wasn’t sure I could live up to your expectations. I was an image built up in your mind; I realised that from the blog post you wrote about me and Josh.’
‘Oh, hell. That bloody blog post.’ I put my head in my hands. ‘I’m so sorry about that. I should never have written it.’
‘I thought it made me come across quite well,’ says Aaron. ‘Other than physically.’
Lost for words, I simply chew my lip in embarrassment.
‘I know I hurt you, Liv.’ Aaron looks me straight in the eye. ‘But I didn’t have much choice. I’m sorry for that.’
‘And what’s changed now?’ I crunch my breadstick absently. ‘Why are you suddenly out in the open with this?’
‘Because I’m leaving the hotel.’
‘You are? No one’s said anything.’
‘That’s because they don’t know yet,’ says Aaron. ‘I’ve got a new job – another general manager role. What happened before won’t matter anymore. Especially if you’re willing to wait till I move on before we go public… and we make up a different story about how we got together.’ He suddenly looks nervous again. ‘That is, Liv, if you even want to continue where we left off after all this?’
I take in his apprehensive face. Everything he’s just shared has obviously been really hard for him, and the middle ground he’s found tonight to be able to be a bit of who I met online, while still battling with his demons. I know my answer. But my own list is still not clear.
‘Do you still want to date me, given I was juggling you and Josh at the same t
ime?’ I’m unable to look him in the eye as I ask this. Instead I stare out the window on the other side of the room, where the snow is now coming down heavily in huge cotton-wool-like puffs.
‘I do.’ Aaron looks me straight in the eye once more. ‘I don’t care about that. You were confused. And to be honest, I was trying to confuse you, so you wouldn’t fall head first for that charismatic bugger Josh.’
I laugh, as Aaron leans in and takes my hand. It’s like a bolt of electricity surges through me at his very touch.
‘Anyway,’ he continues, suddenly looking slightly uncomfortable. ‘The real question is whether… now that you know I have a personality… you’ll kiss me?’
‘Oh hell, you did hear us!’ My face turns beetroot. ‘I can’t believe you overheard me and Reyes playing Snog, Marry, Push off a cliff.’
‘I heard a lot more than you realise.’ Aaron smiles and strokes my hand affectionately. ‘Like you and Reyes chatting about your blog – the two of you weren’t as discreet as you thought. How else do you think I knew about it?’
‘I see.’ I smile sheepishly.
‘And like Amir talking to Reyes about his plan to meet you in Hanover One tonight – do you think I just happened to turn up?’
‘Of course.’ I groan. ‘That was obviously no coincidence. But how can you overhear so much in the hotel? You’ve got a busy job.’
‘I don’t hear it all directly.’ He grins. ‘I have eyes and ears all over that place.’
‘Wait a minute.’ I eye him suspiciously. ‘Clara? Was that really an urgent internal transfer?’
‘Can’t say either way.’ His poker face is back in place.
‘You got rid of her – for me.’ My hand flies to my mouth in realisation. ‘I can’t believe it.’
‘Let’s just say – hypothetically – that if I were to hear of bullying in my hotel, particularly of somebody I care about, I would deal with it.’
‘Aaron, wow, I can’t believe you did that for me. Thank you.’
‘As I said, I cannot confirm, nor deny.’ Aaron does the non-committal head bob again.
‘That’s not the only thing I need to thank you for,’ I say suddenly. ‘You helped me move on from stuff I’ve been running from for years. I went back to the estate yesterday – back home. Not only did I face up to my past, I actually enjoyed it, as well. I was welcomed. I even saw my mum, and she’s sorting herself out. I’m going to visit her again in a few weeks, as long as she stays sober. I have you to thank for all that. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have done it.’
‘I’m so glad to hear that, Liv.’ Aaron caresses my fingers, one at a time. ‘But don’t give me all the credit. You took the difficult step. I just nudged you along a bit.’
‘I think it was a bit more than that.’ I smile at him. ‘It’s weird. I never knew you grew up the way you did. I always assumed because you were so successful so young, that you came from a comfortable background.’
‘You should never assume.’ Aaron shakes his head. ‘Actually, if you’d read the article you helped me with, you would have learned a bit more about me – and you might even have guessed that I was GrahamLeeton.’
‘Oh, I never saw it in the end. For obvious reasons. I hope you did yourself justice?’
‘It was certainly a lot better after your input. I’ll let you read it. You can be the judge. So, are you going to answer my question or not?’
At first, I have no idea what he’s talking about, then I clock the uncomfortable look on his face.
‘Oh, what are you… I would have kissed you anyway!’ I laugh and lean in towards him.
As our lips meet, I feel like a thousand bolts of electricity are shooting through me, letting off fireworks in my mind. Aaron’s touch is gentle, but at the same time surprisingly firm, and I find myself lost in him very quickly.
After a minute or so, I pull back as something pops into my mind.
‘Why GrahamLeeton? Why did you use another actual name when you could have made up some smooth username?’
‘I did make up a smooth username.’ He grins.
‘What? No, you didn’t.’ I look at him incredulously. ‘My friends thought you were a mass-murderer-slash-paedophile-slash-balding-late-middle-aged man.’
‘Give me your notepad.’ Aaron instructs me. ‘I’ll show you.’
I reach down, pull my notepad and pen from my bag, and hand them to him. He finds a fresh page and writes the name GrahamLeeton down in capital letters. Then, using the pen to score through one letter at a time and rewrite it underneath, he rearranges the order. I gasp as I eventually realise what he’s doing: when he’s finished, there on the page, plain as day, are the words HOTEL MANAGER.
‘It was an anagram!’ I cry.
‘Indeed, it was.’ He gives me a smug look. ‘I wondered at first if you would figure it out, but then it dawned on me that only nerdy people like me would look for things like that.’
‘I can’t believe the answer was there all the time.’ I rub my forehead in frustration.
‘Now we’ve got all that cleared up,’ says Aaron. ‘Can I buy you dinner? And a Gin Fizz to celebrate? It is your favourite, isn’t it?’
‘How did you guess?’ I give him a knowing look.
‘Eyes and ears, Liv. Eyes and ears.’ He taps his nose conspiratorially as I laugh and launch myself on him for another kiss, unable to believe that the man of my dreams was right there in front of me the whole time.
Acknowledgements
What a lot of work it takes to get a book over the line! Huge thanks to all who were instrumental in this process: my superb editors, Olivia Barber and Victoria Oundjian; and the rest of the team at Orion DASH. I’d also like to express my sincere gratitude for my ‘big break’ into the world of commercial publishing, and the honour of being one of your DASH launch authors.
To my amazing literary agent, Kate Nash. Thank you for taking me under your wing, relentlessly championing me to the publishing industry and patiently answering all my (sometimes daft) questions.
Also, to my ‘unofficial’ editor, my Dad, who despite being more accustomed to English Literature, has diligently read through my drafts and offered his ever so constructive feedback. I do apologise for making you blush at the more romantic scenes. Had I been writing anything more steamy, I might have needed to redact some sections so we could still meet each other’s eye over the table at Christmas dinner.
To James, my husband of one year (hooray!). You have been my biggest supporter, and without you, my writing dream might never have become a reality. Thank you for putting up with me, and for your input and ideas. Should the internet ever ‘break’ you’ll be very much in demand as a substitute to Wikipedia.
To my whole family, thank you for your incredible support through my ups and downs over the last five years - and not just in relation to my writing. I truly couldn’t have done it without you.
Finally, to all my wonderful friends and colleagues; thank you for coming on this journey with me. It’s much easier to take the inevitable knocks when you have so many people cheering you on from the side-lines.
One final point: to family, friends and acquaintances reading this. You are not in this book and neither am I. Though I obviously take inspiration from my experiences and surroundings, this work is very much the product of my overactive imagination - to which all my readers are kindly invited to respond with feedback.
About the Author
Nina Kaye is a Romantic Comedy author who writes fast-paced, entertaining reads with a deeper edge. Nina started writing her first novel when she was seventeen (and locked in her room, supposedly studying for her future). It was a short-lived experience that ended as soon as Nina’s exams did, but the dream of writing never left her.
Nina lives in Edinburgh with her husband and much adored side-kick, James. In addition to writing, Nina enjoys swimming, gin and karaoke (preferably all enjoyed together in a sunny, seaside destination).
Copyright
A
N ORION EBOOK
First published in 2019 by Dash, an imprint of Orion Fiction
Copyright © Nina Kaye 2019
The right of Nina Kaye to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor to be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
All the characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: 978 1 4091 9616 7
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