If we want to plan this out, we need to do it right. I grab my pencil and leafpad off the table and return to where the guys are standing. “Puck, do you want to sketch out what you were thinking?”
“N-no. I can’t draw. Give it to Warren. He’s good at that.” Puck pushes the supplies away.
I walk over to Puck and wrap myself around him, one leg around his waist. I lean in and purr “If he’s good at drawing, then what are you good at?” I mentally shake myself. Where did that thought come from? Poor Puck would turn bright-red and stammer if I ever did that to him. Instead, I turn to Warren. “Would you like to draw?”
“Sure, I guess.” He takes the leafpad and charcoal and sits on the stump near the shed. I want to tell him that he’s on my thinking stump, but keep my mouth shut. “So, you think at the top of the hill a large house? You don’t want that down here?”
We start debating top of hill or bottom of hill. I start to see Puck tends to think his ideas are not as important as others and will defer to me or Warren. But his ideas are pretty good. It does make sense to have the large house high up so that you can see all the homes and work areas from it. But I have to appreciate Warren and his thoughtfulness. Walking that hill everyday would be a pain for me. Not like I can fly up like Puck or any other fairy.
“As much as I like the idea of it up high and looking out over everything, that walk would be a pain in the feet.” I look at Puck, afraid that he will be upset at me squashing his idea, but at the same time I am irritated that he only thinks of the view.
“Oh! Aislin I didn’t think of walking it. I’m sorry.”
I sigh that he isn’t upset at me. If anything he seems truly upset that he didn’t think of me in his idea. That’s a novel thought. Besides Bray and Nip, no one ever thinks of me. I lost track of how many times over the years I’ve had to find someone to help me up the tree or that I’ve had to run to keep up with as they fly over all the obstacles I have to climb.
“It’s alright. You’re used to flying.” I pause to look up the hill we’re talking about. It would be quite a hike for me. But maybe with some paths that cross the hill to make the slope easier and a pulley seat . . . “You know. I think you may be right, though. The top of the hill would be best, plus it is closer to the main tree. Maybe we–”
“What are you guys doing?” Orrin interrupts me.
“Planning where the houses should go. My place is too small for all of us. And we will need a central meeting place.” I tell him, rolling my eyes before I turn to look at him. He seems to think that everything here is beneath him.
“Why? You guys are acting like we’ll be talentless forever. This is just a small setback. Ren will fix everything, you’ll see. Before you know it, we’ll have our talents and be in our own places in the tree.”
“What planet are you living on? I have been waiting for a talent for four years! Ren has no clue why I don’t have a talent and even less of one why you three don’t. You can go on with your delusions, Creator knows I lived there for years. But the sooner you resign yourself to this life, the sooner we can live.” I’m screaming by the time I finish. I’m tired of him making me feel less than. He might have been decent with the whole swing thing, but since then all I’ve seen and felt was his disdain.
The look he gives me makes me regret my outburst. Well, maybe regret is a little harsh. I turn to see Puck sitting on the ground, his shoulders dejected. Warren looks at his feet and shuffles them. Great, I upset all three of them. That wasn’t my purpose. I only wanted to knock some sense into Orrin. He makes me feel small, and my reaction makes me look small.
I push my hair off my face. “Guys, I’m sorry. I’ve spent my whole life on the outside. At first, it was not having wings and being pudgy, then it was not having a talent, and now I live out here. The other fairies don’t walk on the ground with me, most won’t even flitter as slow as I walk. Trust me, you’re best off forgetting everything you thought the future would be and face reality.” I sit down on the ground, my hair covering my face, so they can’t see the tears that threaten to fall. I might put a strong face on things, but in reality I want what Orrin wants, a place in the tree. I don’t like being relegated to this house, no matter how beautiful it is. I’m still the unwanted relative who shows up at family parties, reminding everyone of what could happen to them.
A hand on my shoulder has me looking up. Warren stands beside me, looking down with a look I can’t quite discern. “Aislin, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how the past few years have been for you. I remember you in the tree. We never talked since you were older, and by the time I was in a class you might have been in, well, you were out here.” He looks around the place I’ve made my home. “I don’t know why we have no talents, but maybe we can figure it out together.”
He holds out his hand and pulls me up. Of course, I have to go and ruin the moment and lose my balance. I fall into him, my large breasts pressed against his chest. I’m close enough to see his pupils dilate and his Adam’s Apple bob up and down. I notice that his eyes have these little gold flecks mixed into the green, almost like little fireflies dance in them. His hands are on my waist, and he is supporting my not insubstantial weight. Hmm, maybe I should have let him carry me down the tree.
I try to pull my gaze from him, to stand on my own. But my eyes drop to his lips, and I realize how soft they look. They are a deep-pink and full. I wonder if they would feel as soft as they look. I can’t take my eyes off of his lips and find myself licking my own lips. What is wrong with me?
“Um, you two want some time alone?” Orrin asks. His tone pulls me out of my daze, and I find my feet. Where Warren’s hand had been still feels warm. What do I say?
“Why? Jealous?” I snap back at him. Crap! Why did I say that? Do I want to have these guys think that they matter? That I am interested?
“As if.” Orrin stomps over to where Warren had set down the leafpad and picks it up. “If I’m to be stuck here with you three, then I’m going to have a say in this place. None of your clutzy homes here. We will have style.”
I want to scream as I envision more ants being smooshed under his foot. Will I be an ant that is smooshed under his ego? I stomp over to where he’s standing and grab the leafpad from him.
“Considering this is my home that you are invading, I will have the say.” I snap and turn my back to him.
Suddenly, my arm is grabbed, and he spins me around so that my chest hits him hard, but he, like a tree, is firmly planted. I fall into him and look into his ice-blue eyes. They would freeze the pond and waterfall if he looked at them.
He doesn’t speak, just holds me against him, imprisoning me in his arms. His eyes search mine. Then before I can respond, his lips crash on mine. Firm and controlling, he pushed his tongue against my lips. Where I imagined Warren’s kiss as soft, this is all control and an invasion.
I want to pound my fists against him, to push away, but a part of me wants to know more. I don’t know what to do. I have never been kissed, and this is more than I can take. I feel my legs going weak, that is, until I am jerked from Orrin’s grasp.
“What the hell?” Warren has Orrin pushed against the wall of my house, his one arm pushing into his throat, the other pulled back ready to hit him. Puck was the one who pulled me from Orrin’s grasp.
Orrin looks at me, then the other two men. He pushes Warren away and stomps around the edge of the house. “Do whatever you want.” His voice echoes through the glade.
I find myself unable to think, my fingers touch my lips. So that is what a kiss is like. I’m not sure what to think about it, and more why did he do it?
Chapter 6
ORRIN DOESN’T RETURN to our glade until the next day. By then, Ren has gathered the other fairies, and we are well into building our houses.
As we had agreed the day before, the main house would be at the top of the hill. It will have a kitchen, a large gathering area, and a main bedroom. I didn’t quite see the sense in having a bedroom in the ma
in house, but Ren insisted that it needed to have one.
“Puck, come on. Please let me put a cape for a roof. And you need windows. Plus, I have this sweet idea for an indoor garden.” I try to cajole Puck out of the idea of a burrow.
‘Lin, there is no way I can garden. I don’t have a green talent, more a black talent,” He says, arms crossed over his chest.
“Fine, then how about some windows and a little sitting area outside the door. Otherwise, I won’t come visit you.” I scribble on the leafpad a quick sketch of what I have in mind. If he had his way then he would be living in a dark hole in the ground. If he had a talent he wouldn’t have that kind of home, so why does he want it now?
Beneath my hand a small house built into the hill takes shape. The red Armarillia Cape roof fits perfectly into the dirt and rock hill. A large window provides light that will spill into the main living area. The front half of the cape shades a small porch. The front wall of the house is bark with a window on either side of a door.
I rip the leaf off and start on the inside. I make a small living area to the side of the door with a fireplace. In the back is a small dining area and kitchen space. To the left of the door is a small bedroom.
“See, it could still be how you want, but inviting. What if a girl ever took interest? You don’t want your house to appear to be the home of a mole, do you?”
He rubs his hand over the back of his neck, his face flushing. “I guess not.”
I smile at him and don’t say any more. He actually is kinda cute. He reminds me of a mole now that I think about it. But a soft cuddly mole. I wonder if in the winter I could come to his place and cuddle in front of a fire. I bet he would be a great cuddler, just like a lifesize teddy bear. Ugh! Why am I so fixated on these guys? I never thought of kissing or cuddling before this.
I need some girl time. Maybe Bray is free for a while. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. Kick the guys to their own houses and have a girl’s night. Maybe we can even find some of the tubes of nectar from last season. They should be nice and potent by now.
“Want to go find out what Warren’s up to?” I ask Puck, hoping that he’ll come with me. Maybe if both of them are there I won’t be tempted to wrap myself around them, but then again, maybe . . . .
“Sure. I bet his plans are something to see. He always goes over the top.” He comes to stand by me, and we walk down the hill.
“You guys are close?” I wonder about their friendship. Unlike Orrin, they don’t fit the typical fairy mold, they’re not fit and chiseled.
“Yeah, we kind of had to be to live with the other fairies. They thought they were better than us, not including us in the activities. But worse they would pick on us. They would call me Butterball, and Warren was Twig or Bug-eyes.”
“I know how it feels. I was so happy to finally leave the dorms. It took me a while to get used to being alone out here. But to not have to deal with them making fun of me . . .”, my voice trails off. I don’t like remembering growing up in the tree, it was bad enough to be wingless, maybe they could have forgiven me that, but then being plus-sized and without a talent, it was misery.
Puck rests his hand on my shoulder, “You’re not alone now. You’ve got Warren and me.”
I smile up at him and think again about cuddling him. A big hug would be great about now. When did I start thinking so much on physical contact? I never have these thoughts with Nip. Of course Nip is a little too in touch with his feminine side for me to be really interested in him.
“So, you’re not upset about being here with me? What talent did you see yourself having?” I really want to get to know him more, maybe Bray was right. Maybe something was missing in my life.
Puck looks over at me sheepishly. “I never really saw myself with any talent. Every time we went to watch the different talents work, I never felt like I fit. I can’t swim and hate water, so I couldn’t be a water fairy. I’m too heavy to be a good weather fairy. The pollen makes me sneeze, so harvest fairy is out, and I am the worst painter alive.”
“So, what would you be doing if you could do anything?”
“Cooking! I love making food, and I love eating it more,” He laughs at himself as he rubs his stomach.
“I hate figuring meals out. I usually just eat some berries and nuts unless Bray or Nip bring me something.”
“Well, you won’t have to worry about food anymore!” Puck says, as his eyes light up.
“I love cooking, and will gladly take over that chore.”
“You can have it!” I laugh. Puck suddenly stands taller, as if acknowledging that something he enjoys is worthwhile has given him pride.
“Are you sure? No one else has ever wanted me to cook.”
“Definitely. I can’t wait to see what you can do.” I lick my lips in anticipation of the foods he will be making me. His eyes lock onto my lips as my tongue slides over them. I hadn’t meant the act to be sensual, but now that he is staring at me I find myself nibbling at my lip nervously as my body suddenly tingles and feels warm. My steps falter, and I find my foot suddenly tangled in a vine.
Puck reaches out and stops my forward momentum. The sudden action has me abruptly pulled tight against his chest, his hands grasping my arms as his fingers rest against the sides of my breasts. My breath catches in my throat as my body is overrun with unfamiliar sensations. I can hear Puck’s labored breathing in my ear as my ample bottom is pushed into him. I freeze, not knowing what to do. Should I step away, even though his hands are still tight on my arms? Should I wait for him to let go as we stand here awkwardly? Or should I do what I really want to and wriggle my bottom into him?
The decision is taken away from me as Puck gently rubs his hands down my arms as he lets go of me, his fingers brush my breasts, and I shudder.
“You okay?” he asks me. His voice is a little huskier than normal, and I wish I could see his face and try to see what he is feeling.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just clumsy as normal.” I don’t want him to see my face that feels hot. If he isn’t affected, then I don’t want him to see how he affects me.
“We’ll have to make a note to keep these paths free of vines. We don’t want you falling and hurting that bottom.” He takes a step to stand beside me and takes my hand leading me down the path. I keep glancing up at him through my eyelashes. Did he really say something about me hurting my bottom? What does he mean, and why is he holding my hand as if I am a child?
I gently pull my hand out of his, and if I hadn’t been peering up at him I would have missed the quick down turn of his lips. Does he want to hold my hand? Why? Sometimes I wish that I had paid more attention to the other fairies and how they interacted with each other. But it really hurt too much to watch them while I sat on the sidelines.
I continue to ponder Puck and his reactions as we walk the last bit to where Warren has decided his house should be. It is the closest to my house, but far enough away that I will have my privacy.
“What have you been designing?” I ask Warren, leaning over his shoulder to see what is on the leafpad. After the way Puck had held me earlier, I am very aware of my breasts pushed almost against his back, but it’s the only way that I can see what he has drawn.
He turns to look up at me and gets a face full of soft boobs. His breath hitches and blows out on my chest, giving me goosebumps. Behind me, I hear Puck snort and then a whispered “Lucky, Bastard.”
Warren jerks back and looks everywhere but at me, his face red. “Um sorry, Aislin. I didn’t realize you were so close.”
“No problem.” AWKWARD! How do I put him and me at ease? “So, your house?” I point back to his drawings, hoping that if I just ignore the fact that he has set every nerve ending on edge, it will go away
“Uh- oh yeah.” He quickly turns back to his leafpad, his face red. “I hadn’t really put much thought into my own place before. The other talents have the houses all made usually. What do you think of this?”
He hands the leafpad over to me. The outside o
f the house is pretty much like mine, except he has 3 capes. There is a porch on the center cape with a window over the door. On the second page he has drawn the inside of the house. One room was a bedroom and bathroom, another a living space and the last was a large open space.
“What is this for?” I point to the open space.
“Oh that, well I was thinking I might want a workshop for late nights.”
I point to the middle of the room, “no this.”
Warren fiddles with the leafpad. “Um, well. This glade is pretty open. I thought a opening to stargaze would be nice.”
“How would we keep the rain out?” I ask. It is an interesting idea, but I am not sure how we can make it work.
“I hadn’t gotten that far, and it probably is a stupid idea.” He throws the leafpad down and walks away from us. I hadn’t meant to upset him.
“Warren?” He turns to look at me. “It’s not a bad idea. I just don’t know how it would work. Maybe we could add that part in later?”
He nods his head, but there still is a tension between us. I am not sure how to deal with it. Part of me wants to go and wrap myself around him and kiss it better. But I know that isn’t the right thing to do. Why can’t I be like Bray, confident and knowing what to do?
Chapter 7
I LOOK UP TO SEE REN approaching us. She hasn’t come to the glade before, so this must be important.
“Oh good, you’re all here.” She looks around the area, “Well all but Orrin. Where is he?”
I look at Warren and Puck, then back to Ren. “He went back to the tree last I knew.”
Ren’s face turns stormy then smoothes out to her regal look. “Well, he should be back soon. Aislin, can we go to your house to speak?”
I nod my head, what other answer is there to give her. I lead the way down the short path and step back to allow her entrance. She smiles as she looks around my small home.
Finding Her Wings Page 3