by Ford, Mia
“Yeah, I know, but she’s just… I don’t know how to explain it. I saw her on Christmas Eve when I went to Adam’s house for the first time in years. And I don’t think I have ever really seen her before, you know?”
“Of course not, because you have always been Adam’s friend and she was his annoying younger sister that didn’t even capture your attention… mainly because you knew that it would end up in a fight. You are playing with fire here. You know it as well. Isn’t there another woman out there for you?”
I screw up my face, answering his question silently. “There isn’t, is there? She’s just the one.”
“The one? Don’t be so ridiculous. You can’t make that decision so quickly.”
“It isn’t quick though, is it?” I snort. “I have known her for years.”
“But ‘the one’?” I have to admit his doubtful face is getting to me. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t know. But I do know that she has affected me in ways that I haven’t felt before.”
Dax leans back in his chair and runs his fingers through his hair, looking stressed as all hell for me. “I don’t know, mate, that doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. Adam will kick your ass. You should stop it.”
I half consider his words, but in a really vague way. I don’t know if I can keep away from Paisley, not now. She’s so addictive. I don’t want to spend another twenty-four hours without her.
“I can tell by the smile on your face,” Dax shakes his head as he speaks. “That you have absolutely no intention of staying away from her. But you are playing with fire. It’s dangerous. I don’t want to be you. Plus, it isn’t even just Adam is it? It’s their parents. Aren’t their mom and dad really strict?”
I half shrug, not wanting to even consider that issue. Her parents will kill me if they ever find out. I will actually end up dead. But actually, we had sex in their house and again at mine on New Year’s Eve and no one has found out yet. Maybe this is something that we could keep up… incognito.
“I suppose so, but I like her, Dax, that’s all there is to it. I really do like her.”
“I know, and it kills me to put a damper on it, but this is just scary. I mean, it’s Adam.”
“You don’t think he will really kick my ass, do you?” I ask curiously.
“Yeah, I really do. I’m not joking about that.”
“He did warn me off her,” I admit with guilt floating all the way through me. “But I’m sure if he thinks that I’m really serious about her, then he’ll back off, don’t you think?”
“I don’t think he’s worried about it just being a shag… I think he’s just worried about you.”
“I’m not that bad, am I?” I laugh as he gives me a look. “I’m not the worst option in the world.”
“No, maybe not… but I think to Adam you will be. He has been your best friend for a long time. He has seen you picking up loads of girls over time. He won’t want his sister involved in that.”
“But this is different.” I put out my bottom lip thoughtfully. “I am different with her.”
“I am not saying that I don’t believe you, but Adam might not.”
Oh God, he was right. That was really nerve wracking. “I can make him believe me?”
“You can try… in between him royally kicking your ass.”
“Urgh, don’t say things like that. Why does everything have to be so complicated?”
“I kinda think you might have invited that drama in yourself, Josiah, by going for the one woman on the planet you know that you can’t really have. Do you think there might be a reason for that?”
“No, it’s just…” Is he right? I really don’t want him to be right. “It isn’t that.”
In the end, I shake my head, shutting down this conversation before I can start to doubt myself, and I leave Dax alone at his desk to get started for his very first day. His words of warning continue to haunt me as I walk across the floor to my own office, and they sit with me as I take my seat at my large mahogany desk – which is a statement piece that I have kept from the days my dad worked here – but they still aren’t enough.
With a cheeky smile, I ignore every word that Dax has just said to me, and I call Paisley. While I listen to the ringing, my heart skips some beats. There is a real excitement that I don’t usually feel. I mean, I even made all the effort to actually key her name into my contacts list, which I think speaks volumes.
“Hello?” she answers, sounding shy and sweet. Instantly that word alone conjures up images of her in that sexy dress she was wearing on New Year’s Eve, which made her look like a goddess.
“Hey, Paisley, it’s Josiah.” She makes a noise which suggests she knows this already. “How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you, just lying on my bed, searching online for jobs.”
Oh wow. That’s another sexy image filling my mind. Her spread across her bed sheets in a sweet little nightie of some sort. Looking very much like the good girl she pretends to be.
“How is that going? I’m sure I could always get a job for you here…”
“I think that would be dangerous, don’t you? Me and you in the office together.”
“Ooh yeah.” I’m impressed. “I like you’re thinking. That would be dangerous… fun though.”
“I know; I can picture it now… but not a lot of work will get done.”
I laugh and make an agreeable noise. “True, and I do need to get stuff done around here… but that doesn’t change the fact that I want to see you again. Would you be up for that?”
She pauses for just a beat too long which makes me nervous. I thought that we had a connection, I was sure that it was a two-way thing, I didn’t think that I was on my own… but maybe she doesn’t like me in the same way. Can that be possible? Is this revenge for all the times I haven’t called a woman back? Maybe I have always been upfront about my intentions but that doesn’t mean I haven’t broken hearts.
“Do you want to see me for a date or for a hook up?” she eventually asks.
Ah, okay, so she does like me, she’s just worried about my intentions. I can understand that, and it’s something that I can work with. I can make her see that I want so much more than that with her.
“That’s a brave question,” I chuckle. “I like your bloshy spirit. As a date, of course.”
“Ooh, that’s half the right answer and half the wrong one.”
“How so?” I demand, needing to know if I have screwed things up already.
“Because I want it to be a date, I really like spending time with you, but a date is dangerous, isn’t it?”
“Because of your family?” She makes an agreeable noise. “So, what about if we keep it a secret? Just between you and me. I really think that there might be something between us and I want the chance to find out. I don’t want us to halt something that could be amazing because we’re frightened of the opinions of others.”
“And, what about if it does turn out to be something amazing?”
“Then we can cross that bridge when we come to it, can’t we? We can finally let everyone know when we’re sure that it really is something. We can be sure that it’s worth the risk then, can’t we?”
“Sounds like you have really thought it through,” Paisley tells me. “I have to admit that I am impressed.”
I haven’t thought it through, everything came to me just then. “It makes sense though, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it does. So, when did you want to meet up?”
“Oh, tonight!” I can’t wait to see her again. “Are you up for that?”
“Definitely. So, where are we going to go so we can be in secret together?”
“Come to my place,” I reply decisively. “I can cook for you again. You enjoyed the breakfast, right?”
“I sure did. That’s perfect. I can come to yours at about seven ish?”
“I will be back by then.” I’m not usually, I’m normally the last one here, but for her, I will make a change. She is absol
utely worth it, I’m happy to do it. “Do you need me to send you a car?”
“No, you don’t need to take care of me. I can make my own way there. I’ll be more discrete.”
God, she’s refreshing. Really refreshing. Most women would take advantage of anything I offered them, even if they didn’t need it. But Paisley isn’t like that, she seems to just like me for me.
“Great. I will see you later on then. I’m looking forward to it.”
As I hang up the phone, my heart practically bursts with excitement. I really haven’t been here before and it’s such a thrill. With Paisley, it isn’t even just about the sex, it’s about being with her, and spending time with her. I can’t wait to hear about her day, to tell her about mine, to laugh with her…
God, I’m a soppy bastard. That’s really something I never thought I would be. But then again, she’s worth it.
* * *
“Hey there!” I call out with happiness as I swing the door open to see Paisley on the other side. Today she is wearing simple leggings and a vest top with a cardigan over the top. She looks like the complete opposite to how she did on New Year’s Eve, but just as beautiful. She has a real natural beauty to her. “You look fab.”
She laughs loudly. “I don’t know about that. I had to sneak out, pretend that I was going to Maddie’s, so I couldn’t look my best, but I suppose that is something you will have to get used to if we’re going to be secret.”
I pull her inside and make a big deal of searching around the place to check she isn’t being followed like we are the characters in some spy movie or something. She laughs, but I know that the fear is real.
“So, we’re really doing this, are we?” I ask as I slam the door behind her. “A secret fling?”
She wraps arms around my neck and kisses me. “We sure are. It’s going to be fun, don’t you think?”
I take her into the kitchen where the food is already cooking. “Yeah, I think so.”
She takes her seat and smiles up at me, sheer love shining through her eyes. I really think that she’s falling for me, just as much as I am her. This is crazy, it’s a wild ride, that can probably only end in disaster, but I can’t stop holding on to hope. I really do want this more than I thought I ever would.
“So, just so I know where we stand,” she starts. “Have you told anyone about us?”
“Only Dax who I work with. He knows Adam but not enough to tell him anything. You don’t have to worry.”
“How does Dax know Adam?”
“He was actually in the orphanarium with me. Now he works for me.”
Paisley nods carefully. “And what did he have to say about it?”
“That Adam is going to royally kick my ass if he ever finds out.”
“Hmm. Dax might be right about that one, but then again, we aren’t going to worry about that for now, are we? We’re just going to see where things go for the moment and worry about everything else after.”
“Exactly.” I smile and rub her back. “Have you told anyone?”
“Only my best friend from high school, Maddie, but she is back in England now, so we don’t need to worry.”
“That’s good news. I don’t think there’s much she can do from there.”
“So, are we agreed not to tell anyone else?”
“I agree. Let’s not tell anyone else. Keep it just for us. The less people that know, the less likely we will be caught because while I think that you will be more than worth the ass kicking, I would much rather avoid it if possible.” She laughs, and I join in too. “Although this will be hard for me to keep inside.”
“Hmm me too. This is too good to keep secret, but unfortunately, that’s what we have to do.”
I lean in and kiss her then, my heart racing at the speed of light. As her lips crash in to mine, I know that I would take a million ass kicking’s from Adam. Of course, I would much rather keep my best friend and the girl, that’s the end result I’m aiming for, but for now, I’m just happy having this beautiful woman in my arms.
10
Paisley
Four months. It’s been four months since me and Josiah have started dating in secret and it’s been the best four months of my life. Now that April is heating up and summer is slowly descending upon us, I keep thinking that we should take a trip somewhere, to spend some time together just being free.
I am enjoying our little secret fling, but I would love it to be a bit more real. I am going through the most intense romantic experience of my life, and I can’t tell anyone about it. Except for the man that I love… not that I have told him I’m in love with him yet. I need to wait for him to make the first move in that department.
“How was work today?” Mom asks me, just like she always does, the second I walk through the door. It might seem like a nice gesture, but I can hear the disappointment in her tone. I’m just working at the check-out in the supermarket at the moment, not using my college education at all which annoys her.
In my parents’ mind, I left them alone for absolutely no reason at all.
“Yeah, it was good, thank you.” I smile thinly. “Really good. Busy as always.”
“Good, good.” Her lips turn downwards in a frown. “Are you still hunting for something more suitable? I wouldn’t like to think of you rotting away in that job forever. There must be more that you want.”
“I’m still looking. I’m sure I will come across something soon enough.”
I cross my fingers behind my back because I can’t lie without that silly childish gesture. In all honesty, I haven’t had much time to look because I have been so busy spending all my spare time with Josiah. Also, since the pay isn’t the best at my current job, it’s taking me far longer than I intended to get my own place, the hours suit me, leaving me lots of time to cultivate my incredible love life.
“What do you have planned tonight?” Mom asks, resting her hand on my arm before I can escape up the stairs to my bedroom, the one place in this house where I can be my own person.
“I was thinking about hanging out with some of the girls from work,” I lie again. “Why?”
“Adam has a guest coming over tonight. We have arranged for him to meet a woman.”
I freeze and stare at her. “What do you mean, like a date? He’s having a date here.”
“Your father has found a woman that he thinks would be perfect for Adam.”
“You are setting him up?” A wild panic fills me. “Arranging a marriage?”
“No, not arranging a marriage,” she tuts. “Don’t be so pathetic.”
“I’m not pathetic, I’m just wondering. That’s what all of this sounds like.”
“Adam hasn’t met a woman yet, and he is almost thirty years’ old. If he wants to start a family, then he needs to begin now. Your father has found someone who comes from a similar background, who has similar values to us, who will treat your brother the way he deserves to be treated. Does that sound okay with you?”
She doesn’t want my opinion, that was full of sarcasm, so I roll my eyes and continue on my journey upstairs. I don’t even want to think about what that might mean for me. If they try to set me up with someone, what will I do? I will have to make some effort if I don’t want to alert them to the fact that I’m already seeing someone. It will be awful, wasting time with someone else when I could be with the man that I love?
God, if only I could just be honest about my life. If only it wasn’t all so serious. But my parents will never approve of Josiah. They don’t like him as a friend to Adam, never mind as a boyfriend for me. It will never work. And Adam will lose his mind as well. Josiah’s friend, Dax, was right. There will be a fight.
But even knowing all of that, I can’t stop playing with fire.
I smile to myself as I head into my room, stripping off my clothes in a heartbeat. I have only been home for a couple of seconds, but I already can’t wait to get out. To see him. I have been messaging Josiah all day long, but the messages aren’t enough. I need the real t
hing. I need to tangibly hold him in my arms, to feel him beside me, to have him touching me all over. Excitable flutters race through my tummy while I think about how lovely it is to be with him. All thoughts of some other faceless man who my parents may or may not pick out for me vanishes. If timing is what they are worried about then I still have five years before I hit twenty-eight. That’s plenty of time for us to fall too deep in love for anyone to tear us apart no matter what.
I glance through my wardrobe, wishing that I could wear some of the nicer dresses that I brought during my time at college. I haven’t had much opportunity to dress up for Josiah yet, but I have to go casual or my mom will guess. Skinny jeans and a nice top are what I would wear to hang out with a group of friends, so that is what I shall have to stick to. I pull them on and brush my hair quickly, then I take a moment to check my make-up. I can only go for casual right now, but that’s okay. Josiah seems to like me whatever I look like.
“Right, I’m off!” I cry behind me as I race towards the front door. “See ya soon.”
I half expect someone to demand to know more about where I’m going, but my family are all gathered in the kitchen, fussing around Adam. By the sounds of it, he is loving the attention which is perfect. Maybe this is how he wants to meet someone. Perhaps he wants to be set up… it isn’t for me but so be it. If that’s what he wants, if he likes to stick to our parents’ rules and regulations, then so be it. That’s up to him.
I sneak through the door and close it quietly behind me. My heart pounds as I sneak down the garden path, so when I hear someone whispering my name I nearly jump out of my skin, I practically scream.
“Josiah, what the hell are you doing here?” I gasp out. “Are you crazy?”
“I came to pick you up.” He smiles as if this is normal. “What do you think I’m doing?”
I glance back at the house behind me. Thankfully, no one is outside. “Someone could catch us.”
“I know, but I don’t think they will do you?” He pulls me to him and kisses me gently. “But the risk is a bit of the fun, isn’t it?” I’m too scared to react; I don’t know what to do. “Come on, let’s go.”