by Ford, Mia
I give Adam the thumbs up as I get into the kitchen and he repeats the gesture. People know now. I have made myself accountable. I don’t have any choice but to go through with it. Even if the nerves really get to me, all I can do is put my best foot forward and do it. Ask Paisley to marry me and just hope that she says yes.
“Can you give me a hand setting up the table?” Paisley’s mom asks with an unsuspecting smile.
I half wonder if I should ask her as well. I know tradition suggests that it should only be the father but that doesn’t feel right to me. Especially since she is the one who paved the path for me. She is the one who helped me in the first place. She listened and talked her husband around, making everything okay again.
“I can help you lay the table,” I say. “But first I want to talk to you if that’s okay? It will only take a moment.”
“Oh yeah?” she replies distractedly, clearly not really listening to me. “What’s going on?”
I can’t keep the giant smile off my face as I answer. “I’m going to ask Paisley to marry me.”
She stops dead and stares at me with complete shock on her face. “Are you for real?”
I nod. “Yes, I am serious. I want her to be my wife. Is that okay with you? I do love her; you know…”
“Are you kidding?” She extends her arms out to me and invites me in for a hug which I fall in to willingly. “Oh, my goodness. That’s the best news ever. I’m so happy for the pair of you.”
This is nothing like the woman I first met, the one who hated me. This is why waiting eighteen months was the right thing for me to do. Now, we are all in a good place. I wanted the proposal to be something that we can all be happy about, a wedding for all of us rather than another stress. Now, we’re in that place.
“When are you going to ask her?” she squeals. “Oh, this is so exciting! I’m so happy for you both.”
“I’m thinking about doing it in a minute, just before we sit down to eat. So, I will get the table laid now and I’ll get myself ready. I might need to take a few deep breaths first. Get myself all prepared.”
“Oh, don’t you worry about laying the table. You calm yourself down. I will get Adam to do it.”
She calls Adam before I get a chance to say anything else and instructs him to do it, so I use the time to get my head in the game. This will be the most important question I ever ask in my life. I need to get it right.
You are ready for this, I warn myself. You have been preparing yourself, it will be fine.
I remember Adam’s words. He is convinced that she will say yes, and I’m sure he’s right.
As everyone gathers around the dining table to take our seats, I feel everyone’s eyes upon me. Everyone who knows what is about to come looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to suck up the courage. The nerves must be written all over my face because even Paisley gives me a reassuring smile and she doesn’t even know what’s happening. That woman just knows me so well and she can tell that I need her.
I move around the table slowly and stand in front of her, a feeling of serenity settling over me. Tears are already welling up in my eyes and I haven’t even said anything yet! This is going to be trouble. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to hold it together for long enough to even get my words out.
“Are you okay, Josiah?” she asks me curiously. “You look a little pale.”
“Paisley, I…” It’s hard to get the words out with the emotion choking in my throat. “I love you. I have loved you for a very long time as you know. I love Freddie equally. I have had to prove myself when it comes to him, to let everyone know that I am a worthwhile father. I hope I have done that.”
She cups my face in her hands and gives me a beautiful smile. “You have really done that. Over and over again. Freddie adores you and you have been a wonderful father to him.”
I hold on to her arm and smile back. “Thank you, that means so much to me.”
Then I drop to one knee and grab the ring box from my pocket and show it to her. She gasps loudly and looks around at everyone. Everyone but Sian already knows this was coming but to their credit, they look a little shocked too. Maybe the reality of it was still a little shocking for them.
“Paisley Jones, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you and to grow our family together. I want to make up for all our missed time by making you happy every single day. I love you so much and I know that I will love you forever more. You are an incredible woman and a wonderful mother. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Me and Freddie both are, and I want that to last forever.” I smile to myself. “When I think about my future, you are always in it. And it makes me the happiest man alive. Paisley, I want to be the best husband in the world for you and it would be the best thing ever if you would agree to be my wife.” Tears stream down my face and hers as well. This has been a long time coming. We have been building up to the moment for what feels like forever. “So, what do you say? Will you marry me?”
“Oh, my God,” she gushes. “You really want to marry me?”
“Of course, I do! I wouldn’t have asked you otherwise.” I laugh lightly. “This is something that I have wanted for a very long time. Now, I’m just hoping that you want it too.”
“Of course, I will be your wife! That’s the best thing ever.”
And there it is, another Christmas where our lives have changed forever. This time of year is magical for a lot of people, but for us, it’s everything. I slide the sapphire ring onto her finger and take a second to admire it, before I leap up and I wrap my arms tightly around her. I hold her close and kiss her hard, the love flowing between us. As always, it’s intense and powerful. The love between us hasn’t ever died down, no matter what’s happened. I honestly don’t think I ever will.
As we hug, one by one, the members of Paisley’s family wrap themselves around us too, including Freddie. I really feel like I have a family of my own at last. I don’t know if it’s the one that I initially would have chosen, but it’s perfect. If I cannot have my own family, then this is a good second choice.
And now, it’s about to be official. Sooner rather than later, hopefully anyway, me and Paisley will be married and we will properly be a family.
Actually, I cannot wait for it.
34
Paisley
Six Months Later…
“Do you think we were mad?” I ask Maddie with a laugh. “Trying to plan a wedding in six months?”
“No, not at all, it worked out really well…” she replies through gritted teeth.
“Oh, give it a rest, Maddie!” Sian disagrees, with a smirk. “It’s been a nightmare. You wouldn’t have been able to do it if it wasn’t for the two of us. We carried you through all the stressful times.”
I hold both their hands and give them both grateful smiles. “I know. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without you. I’m so sorry, I just didn’t want to leave it too long to get married.”
“Oh, I agree!” Maddie replies. “It might have only been six months, but it has been a long time coming. How old were you when you first started liking Josiah? Fifteen, sixteen years old?”
“Yeah, something like that. And now he’s about to become my husband.”
“And you look so beautiful as well,” Maddie gasps. “I have never seen you look so gorgeous.”
Both girls step back, and they admire me in my wedding dress. Josiah gave me a massive budget to pick out a dress with, telling me that the short notice would make it hard to get anything I like, but as always it isn’t ever about the money for me. I haven’t ever needed to have lots spent on me, I am more than happy to get by. And I got lucky. I found a sleek ivory number which fit me perfectly for a very reasonable price. I tried on all sorts of dresses, but none of them fit me quite like the first one I tried on.
A bit like Josiah actually. No other man fit me like the first crush. I got it right away. I just knew.
“That dress is incredible. I’m so glad y
ou went for it,” Maddie gushes. “You look like a princess today.”
I stare in the mirror and swivel my hips from side to side, admiring my reflection. I actually do look alright, which isn’t like me to say. But with my make-up done and my hair styled to perfection, I do have the feeling of being a princess. Maybe it’s my face as well. The radiant expression, the inexplicable glow.
“I suppose I should go and get married soon, don’t you think?”
Just as I’m about to step out the room, a little boy in a suit comes flying in at the speed of light. “Mommy!”
Freddie leaps up into my arms, probably creasing my dress. Not that I care. I hug him tight to my chest and breathe in deeply. He lost that delicious new baby smell years ago, but I do still love his scent.
“How are you doing, Freddie?” I ask him curiously. “Is everything alright?”
“I’ve been with Daddy. He’s all smart like me.” Freddie sounds so proud of himself. It’s so sweet.
“He is, is he? Oh, well that’s really nice. I can’t wait to see him.”
“He’s out in the garden waiting for you. Why don’t you hurry up?”
We decided to get married at home because I want something small and intimate with only the few people that matter here. My family, my friends, some of my colleagues. Dax and a few others from Josiah’s business as well. That’s why six months wasn’t too much of an issue. It doesn’t need to be a big deal for the rest of the world to witness. This isn’t for everyone else. It’s for us, our own little love story. The only people we want here are the ones who have been good to us during our love story. It’s a surprise that includes my family.
They have been brilliant though. Adam is Josiah’s best man along with Dax and my parents have been integral in helping us as well. They are having Freddie for a week while we go on our honeymoon to give us some much needed alone time to enjoy our new found married life. We couldn’t do it without them.
“Okay, that sounds good, Freddie. Do you want to walk down with me or wait with Daddy?”
He holds out his hand to me and I slip my fingers through his. “I want to walk with you.”
“Okay sure, let’s go then.” I walk toward the stairs. “Take me to Daddy.”
The girls walk behind me with their pastel colored bridesmaid dresses on and we head out into the garden. It has been decorated to look like a beautiful English garden. There are white and pale colored flowers everywhere, and a painted arch way at the end of the aisle where Josiah is standing. I don’t look at everyone sitting in the seats on either side of us, I just focus on the man who is about to become my husband.
Freddie tugs at my hand eagerly, making me walk much faster than I intended, but that’s okay because I am eager to get closer to that sex God who is about to become mine. As I walk I think about the teenage me lusting over him and I want to go back in time and reassure myself that all will be okay, I will be where I want to be.
“Wow,” he mouths as he sees me gliding down the aisle. “You are so beautiful.”
A heat races from my toes all the way through my body. I hope that it’s giving me a sweet glow rather than making me look embarrassed. I dart my eyes downwards then back up to Josiah.
“You look lovely too.” He really does in that amazing well fitted suit he’s wearing.
As I reach the front of the aisle and Josiah takes my hand, Freddie steps to the side to be with Adam. I can see him talking to my brother, but I don’t know what he’s saying. He looks happy though which is good.
“We are gathered here today…” the officiant begins in a booming tone of voice. “To witness the union of Josiah Allen and Paisley Jones. To celebrate one of life’s greatest achievements of joining two hearts together. Love is beautiful, and marriage is the epitome of that. Who gives this woman away today?”
My dad jumps up. To be honest, this isn’t really something that I have thought about until now. We have been so busy trying to organize everything that we forgot about this part. Freddie pretty much gave me away! But dad jumps up and he holds my arm before he gives me away to Josiah. It’s sweet after everything that we have been through, I give him a loving smile and mouth the words ‘thank you’ at him.
“Marriage is not something to be entered in to lightly, it is a deep commitment which is to be respected and treated as such. So, if any person here can show just cause why Josiah and Paisley may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
Oh, wow, we got to that part quickly! I spin my eyes around quietly, almost daring anyone to speak out, but of course, they don’t. No one could possibly have any reason not to want us to get married.
“Okay, so let’s talk about Paisley and Josiah. They met, they fell in love, and now they are formalizing that love with a marriage. A marriage is not just about the wedding though. It’s about a life. The melding of two lives together. Holding hands, kissing, telling one another that you are in love every single day. Growing old together. They are taking this solemn vow and promising to be together forever.”
Those words bring tears to my eyes. The life that is being described is perfect, just what I want.
“Paisley Jones, do you take Josiah Allen to be your lawful wedded husband?”
“I do,” I reply thickly, nodding my head eagerly as I speak. “I do.”
“Do you promise to love and cherish him in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, for so long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” Again, the answer comes easily. There is no one else for me. There never has been.
“Do you promise in the presence of your friends and family that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as husband and wife? Loving, cherishing and respecting at all times?”
“I do.” I’m sure no one can hear me; I’m practically whispering with emotion.
Then I watch in awe as Josiah answers all the same questions as me without hesitation, but then the hard part comes. The officiant reminds us that we have prepared our own words for one another. This time, Josiah speaks first. The words jump out of his mouth as if he cannot wait to say these words.
“Paisley, you are my world,” he starts, his voice shaky with either nerves or emotion, I’m not quite sure yet. “I hope I have let you know that already, but you are. Our road together hasn’t been the easiest, but at least we now know that we will make it last forever.” He chuckles, and I can’t help but join in. That is really putting it mildly. “If our past hasn’t torn us apart so there isn’t anything in the future that will be able to. I love you, Paisley, with every inch of my body. With all of my soul. All I want to do is love you forever and make you happy. I cannot wait for the rest of our lives, just thinking about it excites me.” He laces his fingers through mine and cock his head to one side. I can see the love pouring out of his eyes. It makes me feel warm and safe, like I have the best support in the world. “My parents never got a chance to meet you, they died when I was too young for them to even know me, but one thing is for sure, I know they would love you. How could they not love you? You are absolutely wonderful. The best person in the world as far as I am concerned.” The lump in my throat is massive. I don’t have a chance in hell of keeping my emotions down when he’s speaking about something so emotional. His parents never got a chance to see Josiah’s wedding, so I’m glad that he has included them, even in this small way. It makes it that much more perfect for all of us. “Paisley, I give myself over to you completely.”
A collective ‘aww’ fills the room which makes me even more emotional. If everyone else thinks they are touched how do they think I feel about that! I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to get my words out when Josiah has been so sweet. This is why he wanted to get his words out first, so he could! Damn him and his crazy smarts. I will seriously kick his ass later on.
“Josiah, you are a wonderful man, a great father, and a won
derful partner. I am so lucky to get to be your wife. I wasn’t sure that it would feel any different to be married but the words haven’t even been spoken yet and I already feel a deeper connection to you. Our love has a new strength to it. I don’t think it needed it, but it is nice to have. To have you and me forever. I’m looking forward to what the future holds.”
There was more, I’m sure I had more to say than that, but I can’t find the words right now. I’m too raw and messy. I have the rest of my life to tell Josiah how I feel anyway. I’m sure he knows. I just need to squeeze his hands and he seems to know exactly I feel. I love him for that, it makes things so much easier. I pant a couple of times and try to catch my breath, the raw feelings just over coming me.
“I now pronounce you man and wife!” the officiant declares. “You may now kiss the bride.”
Josiah grabs me, and he dips me low, pressing his lips to mine as everyone whoops and cheers around us. My heart skips about ten beats as he kisses me. He tastes so delicious. Even better now that he’s my husband. I cannot believe that this man is my husband! It’s incredible. I am the happiest woman alive.
* * *
“This wedding was wonderful,” I declare as I lean into my husband and sway in time to the music with him. “I have had the best time. Keeping it small and simple was the greatest idea ever. I loved it.”
Josiah cups his fingers under my chin and he brings my lips to meet his. “I love you.”
“Oh. You cheese ball, I love you too! That’s why I can’t stop smiling. I love you so much and you are my husband now. How perfect is that? I get to keep you forever.”