The old Yollin barkeeper started chuckling. “Or the time she drugged Shi-tan’s drink to get him in for his annual physical?” he countered.
He heard the two laughing as they went down the passageway, heading, he hoped, toward the medical wing of the ship.
Or there would be another story running through the ship about how Bastek darted Christina for not coming to medical after an op.
Nathan sighed as he stood up, a couple of his bones popping as he walked to his private exit between his office and the route to his quarters.
He hoped his mate had cooled down. If not, he might just dart her.
QBBS Meredith Reynolds
Are you kidding me? Dio looked up at Tabitha, his furry head cocked to the side. You are leaving me to babysit Kouki?
Tabitha drew a brush through her hair. “Look, I’m not the one who had to bring his armor to R&D here because he thought it was too tight.”
Dio chuffed.
“I didn’t call you fat. You can’t get fat,” Tabitha argued. “You are the one who watched too many Japanese karate flicks from Earth and decided to try that back two-and-a half kick against Ryu.”
It would have worked… Dio bitched, then saw Tabitha looking down at him, her eyebrow raised. Well, it would have worked if I hadn’t tried it against a Japanese vampire. Plus, my armor kinked up mid-kick.
“Was that before or after Ryu’s foot smashed into your body and sent you flying like Underdog?”
Oh, please! Dio whined. Never compare me to that cartoon!
Tabitha chuckled. “Would you rather I suggest you are Scooby-Doo?”
Well, he owns his fear and he gets stuff done. I kinda like him. He laid down on the floor near Tabitha, his forepaws crossed and his head on his legs, and looked up at her. “I’d rather be compared to Scooby-Doo than Underdog.” He barked in laughter. That would make you either Shaggy or Daphne.
“Hey!” Tabitha looked down and pointed her brush at him, her eyes narrowed. “I could be Velma.”
Dio continued looking at her, saying nothing.
“Ok,” Tabitha retracted the brush, “maybe not Velma.”
Certainly not Velma, Dio responded. I’m not saying you aren’t smarter than Daphne, and while your hacking skills kick ass, some of your other skills…
“Like what other skills?”
Common sense, logical reasoning… Dio started.
Tabitha glared back at her friend. “I’m so not going to miss you on this assignment.”
Dio chuffed in laughter. You will miss me, but it won’t be long before I get my armor back. Jean figured out why the armor links kinked in the first place. She’s not only fixing mine, but all the other dogs, and they will use the modified connectors in the humans’ armor as well.
“Humans can do that?” Tabitha consider her gyrations when she kicked. “I don’t think I can flip and turn on my back like you did.”
The ninja in the movie did! Dio replied, so why not you?
“Uhhhh…” Tabitha shrugged. “Ok, you got me there. I’m a rather straightforward no-flash kinda woman.”
Dio looked at her.
“Ok, so sometimes I like to dress up,” Tabitha tempered.
Dio kept looking at her, without blinking.
“And put on make-up, and do my hair. Perhaps a little perfume,” she continued.
Like that time we went on the dark side of Greelah? Dio asked.
Tabitha thought about it a moment. “Oh, you mean ‘Greelat.’ How was I supposed to know their pets found the smell of my perfume a bit unsettling?”
Unsettling? You mean all of them threw up after you passed. That’s what you call ‘a little unsettling?’
“Well, yes,” Tabitha replied.
And that, Dio finished the conversation, is why you can’t be Velma.
3
Planet H’lageh, Two Jumps from Yollin Sector
The svelte ship slipped through the clouds of H’lageh like a fish through water, leaving barely a trace as it glided through the atmospheric gases.
Coming in on the dark side, it dropped through the second level of the darkness that covered most of the planet, making it unsuitable for habitation. The murkiness kept sunlight from reaching anything underneath it, and only those who could tolerate the darkness, the stench, and the heavier gasses that settled below the five locations where the cities had been built could stay alive.
The ship didn’t care. It could slide through space, after all.
Five locations on the planet rose above the darkness and were flat enough for habitation. Those spots had sprouted cities.
Four major cities, and the Holy City.
The sleek craft cut through the darkness without error, its advanced sensors easily guiding the ship through the artificial night as its three human passengers took a few moments out of their schedule to enjoy some tea.
And a bit of pre-operation banter.
“And I say,” Tabitha looked over at Hirotoshi, “that you will get shot in the ass by a young female.”
Hirotoshi’s eyes narrowed. “You are basing this prognostication on what, Kemosabe?”
Tabitha shrugged her shoulders. “It is the most unlikely event to occur, but if it does I will be crowned ‘Queen of the Most Unlikely Guess!’”
Ryu’s eyes sparkled with humor as Hirotoshi glanced at him. Hirotoshi looked back at the woman. “And you will be bitten by a snake, causing you to fall from the fourth…no,” he pointed at Tabitha, “the third floor of a building again.”
“I have not fallen,” she put a hand up toward Ryu as she looked over at him, “on purpose!” She turned back to Hirotoshi. “I have not fallen from a building in well over a decade.”
“So, you are due.” Hirotoshi smirked.
“Ok, so what is the bet?” Tabitha asked him.
“Manual clean-clothes folding,” Ryu told them both.
“That is not fair!” they both said at the same time, each pointing at the other.
“That is why you,” Ryu nodded toward Hirotoshi, “should be careful not to be shot by a young female and you,” he turned to Tabitha, “should be careful not to get bitten by a snake or snake-like creature and fall from the third floor of a building.”
The two used the hands they had pointed with to shake on the bet. Tabitha looked Hirotoshi dead in the eyes. “If you get shot in the ass, I won’t let you forget it for a dozen years.”
“Hai,” Hirotoshi bowed his head slightly, “and if you fall from the third floor…”
“Again,” Ryu interjected, and kept his silence when Tabitha glared at him.
“Again,” Hirotoshi agreed, “I shall not let you forget it for ...”
“Like forfuckingever!” Tabitha sighed. “You still talk about the time I stepped off that building on Earth.”
“Which time?” Ryu asked, another smile evident in his eyes.
“I hate you both.” Tabitha sighed. “A girl makes a few mistakes early in her life and it never ends.”
“Oh, it could end,” Hirotoshi admitted. “It would just mean you had outlived everyone who remembered your mistakes.”
Tabitha shook her head. “Then keep harassing me for another thousand years, you two wonderful pains-in-the-ass.” She stood up and grabbed her shoulder harness. “I swear.”
“All the time,” Ryu piped up.
“Every chance you get,” Hirotoshi agreed as he stood up to retrieve his weapons.
“Because you two push me to it all the time,” Tabitha finished. “No, I swear I am going to talk to Jean about getting a chest harness that fits better around these ta-tas. They are a completely annoying pain on my chest.”
“And you don’t just get them reduced, why?” Hirotoshi asked.
Tabitha looked at her friend, shocked. “Are you serious?” She turned to Ryu while pointing to Hirotoshi. “Is he serious?”
“Why would he not be serious?” Ryu asked, confused. “It is obvious they are in your way. There were shield maidens who, rumor had it,
would …”
“Oh, HELLLL no!” Tabitha waved her hands and shook her head in the negative. “Neither one is coming off to help with shooting, or bows, or any shit like that. I researched it.”
Achronyx’ voice came over the speakers. “Actually, I did your research.”
“Well,” Tabitha huffed, “I had to ask you to research it, and had to come up with at least… Like… A bunch of questions to figure it out. There were maybe thirty—”
“Two,” Achronyx said.
“Ok, thirty-two questions,” Tabitha finished.
“There were only two, Tabitha,” Achronyx corrected.
“Stop messing up my suitably accurate story with the facts, buddy,” Tabitha mumbled as she went through the pockets on her coat, making sure all her toys were in the right places. She noticed Hirotoshi watching her. “I hate pulling the wrong surprise out of a pocket. Then we all get a surprise,” she answered his unasked question.
Ryu looked at Hirotoshi, who shook his head and smiled briefly. “Remember the last time Tabitha’s little coat of tricks fucked up a mission?”
“We would truly appreciate it as well,” Hirotoshi spoke up, “if you did not pull the wrong surprise.”
She looked up, her eyes wide open and her fingers pinched an inch apart. “Wow, one small accident on a Skaine slaver thirty-seven years ago, and it never ceases to haunt me.”
“You blew up the ship,” Ryu pointed out.
“Not before we got off,” Tabitha countered, and locked down her knife.
“We were in the escape pod, which was still inside the ship when it blew.” Hirotoshi chuckled as he confirmed his shoes were locked properly.
“Still in another ship … technically,” Tabitha countered. “And you always get off due to the technicalities.”
“Yes, that got you off the hook,” Ryu admitted. “So, what is the plan, Kemosabe?”
“We go to where Christina and R’yhek were attacked and start making noises.”
“So, Plan Two Twenty-one,” Ryu confirmed.
Tabitha looked up, her face showing her confusion. She glanced at Hirotoshi. “Two twenty-one?”
“He means this is the two hundred and twenty-first variation of the same plan. Which is, ‘Go in, make noise, find out who responds, and kick their ass.’”
“Well,” Tabitha sniffed, “if it has worked two hundred and twenty times before?” She shrugged. “I don’t know why we would mess with what works.”
“Hai,” Ryu agreed. “If it’s not broke ...”
“Don’t fix it,” Hirotoshi finished. He turned back to the weapons locker. “I’ll grab some grenades.”
“That little human piece of ass…” Allahnzo grumbled when he got off the video call. “MING!” he shouted.
The door to the office under his home opened. Down here, none of the outside noises could bother him. It was restful; peaceful.
Quiet.
Even his shout didn’t reverberate. It was lost in the folds of the soft walls as his door opened.
He looked at his goon as Ming’s head peered around the corner. “Go find out who is squawking about the girl and the Yollin, and take care of them.”
“Do you have any concerns about the girl’s company?” Ming asked. “They have a reputation.”
“They might have a reputation, but they aren’t here, so they called someone in. It’s just a message for us not to do it again. Tell them to get lost, or make them get lost. I can’t be responsible for everyone who falls off a flight and sinks into the darkness on this planet.”
“Yes, bless the darkness, for it hides those we find annoying.” Ming chuckled as he closed the door.
“Skaine. Can’t live with them,” Allahnzo whispered as he got back to work, “and can’t live with them.” He chuckled as he looked over the income and expense columns for the third largest city on the planet.
It looked like recreational drug use was down two percent. He would need to send a messenger to encourage the mayor in that city to start introducing the drugs into the schools at a younger age.
Tabitha had already glared twice at the alien barkeep, who had now left to go bitch at the owner or something for the last ten minutes.
The bartender had looked like a grey-furred Wookie to her. Except for the spider eyes—those gave her the heebie-jeebies. Walking up to the large plastic covering over the window, she slid her katana out of its sheath and made two cuts before returning the old sword to its sheath and ripping the plastic down to take a look outside.
While she was gazing outside, Ryu and Hirotoshi were paying attention to those in the bar who were watching the three off-worlders.
“Long way down,” she commented. “Gutsy for Christina to jump out to catch him.” She drew herself back into the bar. It was about sixty or seventy feet across, and thirty or forty deep in places. There were a couple round tables to her left that had walls around them and privacy curtains. Lots of dark cloth, so even in the daytime it wasn’t the brightest place.
Outside it was starting to fade to night, so it wasn’t bright at all. Not that the three humans cared one bit.
“We have visitors,” Tabitha heard in her ear. She looked around and walked away from the window. She didn’t need to take a one-way flight out the wrong exit like R’yhek had.
“Hide, Kemosabe.” Hirotoshi spoke urgently.
Tabitha moved.
A moment later she was hidden from the front entrance by the walls one of the circular tables as she sat in the booth. “What’s up?” she whispered.
“Your friends are here,” Hirotoshi answered, a hint of humor in his voice when Tabitha had expected worry.
“What?” She sniffed the air, but the aromas in here were too intense. She couldn’t smell anything new.
“Skaine,” was all he said, and Tabitha rolled her eyes.
“Who are you?” she heard the first voice demand of the two vampires, and Tabitha had to hold her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.
Ryu was entirely too annoyed, due to her and Hirotoshi harassing each other, to be patient with a pair of Skaine. The thump she had expected after that was loud against the back wall of her booth.
Ryu, speaking Skaine, could be easily heard saying, “You will show respect, or you will take the new exit.”
Tabitha could imagine Hirotoshi pointing helpfully to the window to confirm which exit Ryu meant.
His Skaine accent could use some help.
Something else hit the wall and Tabitha laid her head on the table, her shoulders shaking.
“You will learn it as well.” Ryu’s voice now held some anger. “Trying to shoot me is not appreciated.”
“You have no idea,” Tabitha heard one of the Skaine say as he used the wall of the booth to push against to get up. “You are in Nat-Nis Territory.”
“I have no idea what Nat-Nis is, you’re right,” Ryu replied.
“We,” the second voice said, “run the four cities. You will not make it off this planet.”
“And you,” Hirotoshi entered the conversation, “have no idea who we are, so we are even.”
“And I don’t care,” Voice Number One countered. “Here on H’lageh, we are the only ones who matter.”
“What about the royal house?” Hirotoshi asked. “I’m sure they would be interested to hear that you believe they do not matter.”
“They already know,” hissed the first voice. “And thanks to your stupidity, we now have the extra help we need to teach you manners.”
“Or kill you,” Voice Two offered.
Tabitha unclipped her pistol and palmed it.
“We will take our leave now,” the first Skaine said. “Have a nice death.”
Tabitha glanced out the window and noticed three two-seat antigrav units sliding into place, their wings and cockpits aimed in their direction.
“Oh, shit!” she called. “Window attack, guys!” Tabitha shot the glass, shattering it before she bolted toward the window. “I got right!”
/> She had to throw herself down when her target let loose, the rounds screaming above her and tearing apart the booth she had just occupied. She looked to her left and saw Hirotoshi hiding behind the bar, but had no idea where Ryu was. Glancing back, she noticed that the ceiling seemed to have a large rat clinging to it as the rounds pounded the wall behind her, shattering glass and ceramic.
She calculated where the righthand craft was and crouch-ran toward that window. At the last moment she stood up and jumped, planting her right foot on the sill and turning to see where the craft was. The pilot had only noticed her when she shoved off, throwing herself out of the bar into the air. She crossed the space between the building and the flyer and landed on it, her pistol aimed at the pilot through the clear canopy.
He freaked over the weapon aimed at him and reached for the eject lever. Pulling it blew his canopy off, and he made his exit. Tabitha had turned in time to avoid getting hit, but now she was on a plane with no seat and no pilot.
Achronyx, can you break into this? she sent.
Of course. Her EI sniffed.
Well, fucking do it!
It’s already done, Ranger Two. Did you not notice the craft is staying still?
Tabitha smiled, but then saw the other two flyers starting to turn in her direction. “FUCK!” she screamed as the craft she was standing on rose straight up into the air, weapons fire from the other two passing below her.
“Hold still.” The antigrav ship with Tabitha on it stopped suddenly. Her momentum didn’t; she failed to hold on well enough and was tossed another thirty feet in the air. “Achronyyyxxxxx yoouuuuuu assssss!!!!!” She screamed as she tucked in and then out, her feet underneath her at the top of her arc. As she spun, she saw that the other two planes had bodies in black on them as well.
At least Ryu and Hirotoshi hadn’t been late to the party.
She started coming down and activated her antigrav, sliding over to the right slightly to land where the pilot’s seat had been before. “Real fixer-upper,” Tabitha grumbled as she ripped off some side padding and laid it on the bare metal. “Not enough badunkadunk cushion in these things.”
Kurtherian Gambit Boxed Set Three: Books 15-21, Never Submit, Never Surrender, Forever Defend, Might Makes Right, Ahead Full, Capture Death, Life Goes On (Kurtherian Gambit Boxed Sets Book 3) Page 96