“Who has it out for men,” William added.
“And loves a good beer or two,” Bobcat agreed. “I’m starting to like this concept of a female beer-swilling god.”
Tina opened her lips to continue, but William interrupted.
“It does explain a few things,” he said. Bobcat raised an eyebrow and twirled his hand in the universal “continue” gesture. “Well, think about the platypus. Who but a drunk god could make that shit?”
“Don’t forget the Black Widow spider,” Bobcat added. “Or hell, the praying mantis.” He shivered. “Have sex, kill the man, push out the babies.”
“It does,” William considered, “speak to a female-focused deity.”
Thomas tried to speak, but Bobcat was on a roll. “Which would mean that for millennia there was a massive PR campaign to market a male-focused deity when in reality we were being snookered each and every generation.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe we have finally figured out that we were horribly manipulated into being subservient for hundreds and hundreds of years to support a female deity which designed us in such a fucked-up way that just two bricks are able to make us cringe.”
By now Tina was nonplussed, waiting for Bobcat to finish. Thank GOD (male or female), she thought, he didn’t have any beer with him.
Of course, two seconds later…
Bobcat turned to Admiral Thomas and raised an eyebrow. “You got any beer?”
He smiled, but shook his head no.
“Damn,” Bobcat muttered.
Tina found her opening. “I know it must be hard to realize you have been played like a bitch for thousands of years, but can we focus on saving Earth here?”
Bobcat looked up. “Don’t you mean saving Mother Earth?”
William smiled.
“Okay, playtime’s over.” Admiral Thomas, having watched Bethany Anne corral this group many times over the last almost hundred and fifty years, pulled the meeting back on track. “What do you need from me?”
The joking stopped, and the group got down to business.
Come hell or high water, aliens or killer asteroids, the Earth WOULD be protected!
The Queen Bitch and her people were going to do their damnedest to make sure it had so many guns surrounding it that there would be a universal STAY THE FUCK AWAY sign permanently in place.
14
QBBS Meredith Reynolds, General Lance Reynolds’ Office
Lance heard a knock and looked up. “Yes?” he called, and the door opened. It was Frank.
“Come on in. What’s up?” Lance asked. He set his stylus down and leaned back in his chair, glancing at the old analog clock on the wall. “Not quite quitting time, so business or personal?”
Frank walked in, nodding to Lance before taking the second chair that faced his desk. “Personal business,” Frank answered. “Giles.”
“Oh.” Lance sighed and reached down to the third drawer on the left side of his desk. “Meredith?”
“Yes, Lance?” the EI replied.
“Please unlock my special stash,” he said, and it was done. He opened the drawer and reached in for a glass bottle filled with a blue liquid. He removed the bottle and shut the drawer.
Frank asked, “Didn’t your drawer used to be locked with a key?”
“It did,” Lance replied. He turned in his chair and picked up two glasses from the credenza before turning back. “Patricia took the key three years ago, and I had the lock upgraded so Meredith could open it for me.”
“Well, of course you did,” Frank agreed, reaching for a glass as Lance poured the drinks. “We are speaking about my son, so liquor is a good idea.”
“Kids,” Lance agreed and twisted the top back on, then replaced the bottle in the drawer.
“Just one?” Frank asked.
“Giles,” Lance replied as the drawer locked again, “doesn’t get the good stuff.”
Frank shrugged. “He won’t be here in time to worry about drinks, so no harm, no foul.”
“What is he coming here for this time?” Lance asked, allowing the fire of the Yollin special reserve to burn his throat.
“Believe it or not, something important and relevant.”
Lance looked over his glass at Frank and took a few more sips of the liquid before replying, “You’re right, I don’t believe it.”
“Yes, that’s why Barb asked me to come speak to you.”
Lance pursed his lips. “Barb has a comment?” Frank nodded, and Lance spoke a little louder. “Meredith?”
“Yes, General?”
“Would you connect me to Barb, please?”
The edges of Frank’s lips curled up. “Oooh, going to the source?”
“Of course. She cuts through the bullshit,” Lance replied.
Barb’s voice came over the speakers. “Hi, Lance. I heard that.” Lance started to speak but she continued, “This time the request is to allow Giles access to formal and advanced training in craft and other assorted classes.”
“Why are you asking for craft training? Isn’t there a better solution on the open market than what we have in the military?”
“Sweetheart?” Barb began.
“Yes?” Frank replied.
“Have you told Lance anything yet?”
“He didn’t get a chance, Barb. Remember my bullshit comment?” Lance interrupted.
“Right. Okay, Giles has been focused on his,” you could just hear her air quotes around the next phrase. “Space archeology. His notes are starting to include some out-of-the-way places. These places are far off the beaten path, and frankly we don’t know what he will find. So, while I think a lot of what he discovers in the future will have viability to all of us, I also think it could be dangerous. Knowing how to fly and having all of the other military training might be very useful.”
Frank smirked. “Consider him ‘Indiana Jones in Space.’”
“I hate that phrase,” Barb sputtered over the comm.
“Yet,” Lance said, “it succinctly told me everything I needed to know.”
“Score one for me,” Frank declared.
“He is not a space archaeologist!” Barb’s voice had started to grow annoyed. Lance leaned back in his chair, sipping his drink. “He is combing data related to the almost fourteen billion years’ existence of this universe, along with the species and the history we know and that which we don’t know and can’t surmise. Something was out there before us.”
“A lot of species lived, thrived, survived, and died before Earth came into existence, so why is this more important to us than the rock they are buried in?” Lance asked, taking another sip of his drink.
Getting Giles into these classes was already approved in his mind. If the man was going to be a pain in the ass, he might as well be a skilled pain in the ass.
Plus Giles was family, like a nephew that you loved but realized how much trouble he had caused your siblings who had raised him. He wondered if Barb still had color in her hair or if raising Giles had been able to overcome the Pod’s ability to keep her looking young.
Lance decided not to seek that answer.
Barb moved into the “I’m giving you data so listen up” phase. “Lance, if the Etheric Empire were to disappear and all those toys that are hidden away were found in a hundred thousand years, what is the chance they would be of value?”
“Huh,” he grunted while thinking about the sealed weapon stashes the group had been planting for decades in remote locations, and the depth of the stasis efforts they had undertaken to ensure that the systems would work again within two or three days at most, if not hours.
“So imagine that an even more advanced society than the Etheric Empire did something like that, and it has been waiting for ten thousand or a hundred thousand or even a million years. Who would you want to find it first? The Leath? The Zhyn? The Noel-ni?”
“Us,” Lance admitted. “Okay, Barb, you’ve made your point.”
“I always told Frank,” Barb said. “that you had a head
of sandstone. Hard, but not too hard.”
“Great, I’m a sedimentary rock,” he grumped.
“Be glad I didn’t say ‘granite,’” she retorted.
Frank raised his hand six inches. “Thank you for your support and help in this, and for the clarification.”
“Will you approve Giles for the training?” she asked.
“Yes,” he replied, “but it will come with certain conditions.”
“I would expect that,” she admitted. “Perhaps a homing tag in his butt or something might be good.”
“Too obvious,” Lance said, “but we shall see what we can do.”
“Thank you, Lance. Hey, honey?”
“Yes?” Frank replied.
“Dinner with the Escobars is on for tonight,” she told him. “Gabrielle said she has something to tell us, so let’s not be too late, okay?”
Frank replied, “Okay, dear,” and Barb disconnected.
Lance finished his drink and reached for Frank’s empty glass. “So, ‘Indiana Jones in Space?’”
“Perhaps that simplifies it too much,” Frank admitted, “but imagine if you will a galactic Ark of the Covenant.”
“Fat chance,” Lance replied, as he opened the second drawer down on the right, then placed the empty glasses inside and closed it.
“I don’t know why not,” Frank mused. “The Earth is less than four billion years old, but the universe is almost fourteen. How many peoples had to have existed before us? You know the Kurtherians—at least some of them—have already ascended and changed their bodies to operate in the Etheric Dimension.”
“Sounds boring.”
Frank shrugged. “TOM said that his clan was expanding their mental abilities. Their physical bodies were just a pain in the ass, and they needed a way to dodge the shitheads gunning for them.”
“Yeah, I get that…” Lance started, but he was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in,” he called, surprised. The guard station allowed only a few to reach his office unattended.
He thought for a moment that if Giles kept running scams to acquire resources to go larking about the systems he should be put on the “escort” list.
A roguish young man stuck his head in. “I’ve been requested to attend a meeting.” His million-watt smile confirmed to Lance that he had a clue what was going on. If he had given another type of smile, it would have told him that Giles thought he was busted for something.
Lance nodded to the chair next to Frank. “Come on in, Giles, and take a seat.”
Giles walked over and slid into the seat. He was wearing a fashionable version of an atmosuit that was tailored to look like an old college professor’s.
Complete with a pair of glasses he had absolutely zero need to wear.
Giles Kurns, Lance thought. The Earth’s last hipster.
QBS Shinigami Over the Planet Ugaloff
The ink-black face scrunched up. “It’s a trap,” she said. Baba Yaga looked at the information dump that had come in two days previously, and at the fortified location where the information suggested she would find one of the Seven. “I just can’t tell what kind of trap.”
ADAM and TOM were both using the audio on Shinigami’s bridge to speak to her.
ADAM went first. “Do you want me to allow the data to pass to Nathan’s group and see if they tag it as false or faked?”
“No fucking way.” Baba Yaga tapped her lip as she looked at the satellite-level imagery. Better to presume a trap, but it would be nice for the effort to be easier than she anticipated. “Have you hacked them yet?”
“No,” ADAM admitted. “I don’t think they have any computer systems down there.”
“That’s…odd.” She thought for a moment. “How about power packs?”
“Nothing we can sense yet,” TOM said. “Shinigami and I are working on the details and so far…it is a very unlikely event.”
She considered what she knew. “They are trying to limit my advantages.” Baba Yaga stood up to walk around the bridge, thinking out loud. “They have studied us and know we can infiltrate systems.” She angled around the front video screens and walked towards the back. “They know we have better sensors—or assume we do—so they are hiding the power plants.”
“Or there aren’t any there in the first place,” TOM said.
Baba Yaga stopped pacing. “Well, that would make this operation a complete waste of time and effort.” She turned towards the bridge exit. “Time to release my inner Tabitha.”
The hatch irised closed behind her.
“Oh, damn,” ADAM commented over the speaker system.
When Baba Yaga left the armory, she wore a coat that would remind someone of The Matrix had they ever seen that archived movie.
“There is no spoon,” Baba Yaga had commented at one point when she was sifting through all of the special toys Tabitha had acquired over the years and used on her operations with the Tontos.
Now she was suited up with the best tech that had been created over the decades for the Rangers and for Tabitha specifically, and it brought a sharp-toothed smile to her face.
No matter what was below, she expected to be able to deal with it.
Baba Yaga was carrying over five hundred rounds of .45 ammo, two swords, her Jean Dukes, and five of “John’s little friends.”
Those had their own special box. The little grenades were custom-made. Spherical, but not much larger than an olive, with an Etheric-powered explosive device surrounded by small metal balls. They were easy to throw, and could roll along the ground. Hell, they even had a way to engage with antigrav or extragrav.
Sometimes you really wanted those damned grenades to fall really fast.
Shinigami said, “Where do you want me to set you down?”
Baba Yaga considered dropping at the port, but realized that was cockiness talking again and her mouth twisted in annoyance.
One time being stupid was enough for now, thank you very much.
“I’m going to add a power pack and drop from ten thousand feet,” she replied. “Atmosphere?”
“Breathable,” the EI responded.
Ten minutes later she was ready to go.
QBBS Meredith Reynolds
John Grimes walked into the workout room where he and the guys used to spar with Bethany Anne. He was wearing something like an old zip-up jacket from Earth. His hands were in his jacket pockets as he thought back to all the sparring they had done once upon a time.
How she would sit down on the mat just a few feet from him and stretch out face-down. Her head would touch the mat, and she would answer questions, her muffled voice coming out from under her hair.
Now the guys used the Guardians’ workout area. It allowed the Guardians to test themselves against the best, and it allowed the Bitches to test themselves against new opponents.
The Bitches had all been sparring against each other for so many decades they could read each other completely.
“Meredith?” he called.
“Yes, John?”
“Would you please lock the door and record my next speech to Bethany Anne?”
“Certainly,” her voice replied.
John sat down slowly and crossed his legs underneath himself. He wished there were grass here so that he could pick at it while he said what he had to say.
“BA…” he started, then tapped the floor and looked up. “Boss, it’s me.”
Well duh, shithead! he thought to himself. Like she wouldn’t recognize your voice?
“I need to get something off my chest and I know you will understand, even if you hate me forever for it.”
He took a deep breath. “You remember when we took out that sheikh and his twelve security people after we judged them back on Earth?
“Do you remember what we said as we executed them and tossed their bodies over the back of the boat?”
He remembered each of them saying almost the same thing, over and over. Hell, that was when Peter had stood up and become a man
for sure, and had stopped being “Pete” to the group.
“Baba Yaga, if you are listening to this, think back to those times, to those promises we made. We agreed in no uncertain terms that you have to protect your primary, but you also have to protect the innocent. Right now we don’t know where you are or what you are doing.”
I’ll find you if I can, BA, just don’t fall into darkness. Please, God, don’t let her fall into darkness.
“I was instructed by my fucking best friend to not ever let her succumb to the darkness because Bethany Anne would not want to live that way.”
I don’t want her to live that way. He sighed audibly. He would rather go into the darkness right now than say what he was required to say.
“Baba Yaga, you need to make sure you protect the innocent, or the Queen’s Bitches will be charged with capturing you or killing you. We made that pact long ago, and at the moment, with no information, I am honor-bound my friend to warn you.”
Tears dripped onto the mat and John reached up to wipe his eyes.
“Bethany Anne, I love you. Please come back to us. Please.”
It was another five seconds before he could speak without his voice cracking.
“This is the Empress’ lead Bitch, but more than that, this is Bethany Anne’s friend John Grimes.
Come back home please, BA. John out.”
He sniffed and used his sleeve to wipe his eyes again.
“Meredith, please send that to TOM and ADAM.”
Five minutes later John was able to clear his eyes enough to leave.
15
QBS Shinigami, Over the Planet Ugaloff
The back hatch of the cloaked ship opened. Had someone been looking up, it would have been a strange experience to see the inside of a ship and a person in black standing there with no visible support.
Baba Yaga once more made sure she had packed the coat. There was no way she was dropping through the atmosphere with all that shit in the pockets just begging to fall out. “Alley oop!” she said, and simply stepped out.
Kurtherian Gambit Boxed Set Three: Books 15-21, Never Submit, Never Surrender, Forever Defend, Might Makes Right, Ahead Full, Capture Death, Life Goes On (Kurtherian Gambit Boxed Sets Book 3) Page 129