New Tales from Hilbert Space

by Gabriel Just

same plane of existence, which should not be taken for granted.

  “Excellent,” Katara said. “We really did it. Problem solved. Well, most of the problems. There will still be package loss. And people might get lost and get stranded near that magnetic monopole. Maybe we should have left something behind on that station. Something to help people find their way back.”

  “Why?” Dwakk asked. “It’s not our problem. And whoever is stupid enough to use Hexaglass in a Transcannon deserves to get stranded. I mean, there is a reason you are supposed to use Transsteel.”

  Salvaging Rites

  “In the name of the Great Salvager! I salvage thee!” the high priestess of the cult of Vexex shouted.

  “All hail the mighty Salvager!” was the response of her disciples.

  “Go forth and claim this vessel, for it entered our domain!” High Priestess Rekira continued. She wore the traditional robe of a priestess of the cult, small cogs and other bits of metal were attached to it to show her high standing. Furthermore she wore the holy welding mask, a mask decorated with green and purple feathers from a bird that died out hundreds of years ago.

  “I will now recite from the Holy Book of Salvaging,” she said while opening an old book, written in a language only the priests could understand.

  “Glory to the Great Salvager!” the cultists screamed.

  “And thou shalt salvage all the vessels that enter the system of Vexex. Neither shalt thou salvage the vessels in neighboring systems, nor shalt thou leave a vessel in this system unsalvaged. Thou shalt remain here until the end of time. For this is my word, the word of the Great Salvager. Melt down all vessels in the Pit of Sacrifice so that they shall be reborn again, as a mighty vessel, that will bring us to our salvation.”

  “Salvaging brings salvation!” the cultist collectively shouted.

  One of the cultists approached Rekita and threw himself on the ground before her. “High Priestess, forgive my interruption. I am unworthy of your attention. But I need your guidance. May I rise?”

  “You may rise in the next live. In this world your place is on the ground. Nevertheless, I shall grant you the honor of talking to me. Speak!”

  “I need you to interpret the scrolls for me. The ship we found is full of people. 29 to be precise. Shalle we proselytize them or salvage them as well?”

  “You were right to seek my guidance. The scrolls do not specifically mention how to treat infidels. Only I, as high priest, can make such decisions, for I speak with the voice of the Great Salvager. Let me meditate over this.”

  Rekita closed her eyes for a moment and then shouted, “They shall burn! It is the will of the Great Salvager that these people will be salvaged as well, so that they rise again to a better existence.”

  “As you wish,” the cultist mumbled while crawling backwards, away from the High Priestess.

  Rekita gave one of her subjects a sign and he pushed a button on his terminal. Two giant towing cables were shot from Rekita’s ship and hit the enemy freighter. All efforts to escape were in vain, since the engines had been completely destroyed in the previous battle.

  “High Priestess! One escape capsule just detached from the ship, with three lifesigns on board. What shall we do?”

  “We must save them! Without our help, they will die a terrible death, only to awaken in an even more terrible afterlife. We can not let that happen. There is only one thing we can do. Fire the protelizing beam!”

  Another button was pushed and a high energy beam was shot from Rekita’s ship directly at the escape capsule. It was powerful enough to vaporize the capsule as well as its occupants.

  “Excellent work! We saved them. Now that they died as believers, they will find a glorious afterlife. By the power of the Great Salvager! All hail the Great Salvager!”

  “Glory to the Great Salvager!”

  “There is no way, we will enter this system. I simply refuse to set a course,” Kip said.

  “Don’t worry, we will be fine,” Captain Peppita ensured him.

  “No way! I never knew that there even was a purple travel warning. I always assumed they stop at red, but apparently this system has a purple warning. We will be killed on sight.”

  “Then we just make sure we will not be seen. We are smugglers after all, how hard can it be to enter the system undetected.”

  “Even if this would be possible, how do you want to steal the ship without getting detected? I am sure they will notice us at some point.”

  “We do not steal the ship!” Peppita protested. “We are just taking it back. It belonged to us.”

  “It belonged to the First Bank of Ropokkl,” her first officer corrected her.

  “Well, technically. But they also think that they own our ship, the Blasting Beetle. And we all know this is nonsense. Well, we all except the bank. Either case, there is no other way. We bring the bank people back their ship, and they will leave us alone.”

  “I still think it’s stealing. We lost the ship, they found it unmanned, and they probably salvaged it. There is nothing wrong with that. But what we do, sneaking into their system and taking the ship, that is definitely stealing.”

  “We put it up to a vote, then. Let the whole crew decide. Should we enter this system?”

  “No,” mumbled Kip.

  “And what’s your opinion, Flinton?” she asked her engineer.

  “Does it really matter?” the big Skaren asked reluctantly. “We will do what you want anyway, won’t we?”

  “Well, of course my vote counts as three. I am the captain after all. Nevertheless I want to hear the opinion of my crew.”

  “You want to hear my opinion, Pep? Very well. In my opinion, everything is your fault. You decided we should tow the vessel back to Ropokkl to pay our debt. You towed the ship, not only without a towing license, but even without the tiniest bit of rudimentary knowledge about towing. This is why we lost it. This is why we always get into trouble. Every single time it’s because you bite off more than you can chew.” Flinton’s scales turned a bit blue, since he was really angry with Peppita.

  “This is really what you think? That I am to blame? Who constructed a towing cable that apparently was not fit for our normal cruising speed? Who ensured me that the ship is still right behind us, without even looking? And who thought of this stupid mortgage in the first place? I give you a hint, Flinton. It was you! Kip, what do you think, who is to blame?”

  Kip looked at his captain, then at Flinton. Both were equally furious and although Peppita’s physique as Piki was less intimidating, he knew that she could be very unpleasant if she wanted to. Flinton on the other hand was completely different. As Kip saw it, Flinton was incapable of being angry with anybody except Peppita. He was the kindest and most gentle Skaren he had ever seen, but when he and Peppita got into a fight, which happened on a regular basis, things could escalate rather quickly. So Kip tried not to take sides.

  “I think,” he said barely audible, “we should blame the bank.”

  “See, he also thinks it’s not my fault,” Peppita declared.

  “I still think we should keep away from this system,” Kip added even fainter.

  “Very well,” said Peppita while sitting back down in the captain’s chair. “I will accept my crew’s decision. Flinton voted against it, Kip voted against it, but my three votes are in favor of entering the system. So off we go!”

  The Blasting Beetle slowly entered the Vexex system. Although it did not really lower their risk of getting detected, Kip was whispering, “Are you absolutely sure the ship is here?”

  “Of course I am,” reassured Flinton. “My tracking device is impeccable. The Insolvency is definitely in this system.”

  “Tracking device?” Peppita laughed. “The modification you did to the Insolvency that blew up its engines? You have the nerve to call it a tracking device?”

  “Well it does leak waste in a very unique way, so it is a tracking device. And be grateful, without it we would have no idea where you lost the shi
p.”

  “Without those modifications we would not be in this mess. Anyway, it was you who lost the ship,” Peppita replied.

  Before the argument got worse, Kip intervened. “The trail leads to the main planet of this system. If we get any closer they will surely detect us. Maybe it is best if we hail them. Tell them that this is all a big misunderstanding.”

  “I am sure they will listen, they are just crazy cultists obsessed with salvaging. I am positive they will be very helpful and give us back the Insolvency,” Flinton said sarcastically.

  “Be quiet,” Peppita hissed. “Kip is right. We should explain the situation. The map says that this cult is very isolated and they do not allow any foreign vessels inside their territory. They might react aggressive, if they find us snooping around. We should hail their flagship. Kip, scan for the biggest ship in the system, then put it on screen.”

  Kip pushed some buttons on his terminal and after a while the image of a big vessel appeared on the main screen of the bridge. It looked like a very old salvaging vehicle, but was far bigger than the usual ones. It was equipped with towing harpoons, an energy net and several cranes, but also some strange devices Peppita had never seen before. Additionally the ship was full of markings and ornaments. Somehow it looked more like a temple than a ship.

  “What is this monstrosity?” Flinton asked.

  “I don’t know, but I am sure they are friendly people. Kip, open a channel.”

  Kip hesitated briefly before pushing the intercom