by L. R. Olson
She flushed. “How dare you!”
“Enough of the dramatics!” I seethed. “I said if you ever returned I’d kill you. You’re fortunate I have a house full of guests so I can’t get away with the deed.”
“Oh James.” She sashayed toward me. “And how would your guests react to the knowledge that you’re throwing your wife and child onto the streets?”
“You are not my wife, nor is that boy my child.”
She flushed. “He is, James. I’m sorry I kept him from you.”
I didn’t even bother searching her gaze for the truth. “You’re a liar.”
I wanted her gone before Oliver found Jules. I wouldn’t allow her to poison my wife with her vileness. Who knew how much damage my lovely stepmother had already accomplished. She’d been spreading rumors for years, but never had she been so bold as to appear in my home.
Her eyes narrowed. “Fine, I’ll go. But if you believe this is over…think again. I’m traveling to London, and with your mother’s support…I will ruin you.”
“Stepmother. And do your best.” I moved aside. “And by the way, the boy stays.”
Claudine’s eyes went wide, anger making her features harsh, unattractive. “How dare you!”
She didn’t want the boy, she just didn’t want me to have him. “If what you say is true, any court in London would allow me to raise my own son. He stays.”
Her fingers curled. She wanted to claw at my face. She’d tried before. The madness was there…burning brightly in her eyes. Only a thin, very thin string held her connected to sanity. “So you can torture him?”
“I’m not you, Claudine. I don’t use innocents.” But that wasn’t exactly true. I’d almost destroyed Julianna. Hell. The urge to see her, to explain all that had happened, overwhelmed me. “The boy stays and he will have a life here, be fed, sheltered. He will be abused by you no longer.”
“I’m going to ruin you,” she hissed, stepping so close her rose perfume overwhelmed me. “Do not doubt it.”
A month ago I would have cared. A month ago I had been obsessed with restoring the family name. When had the family reputation stopped mattering? When I’d decided to have a life. A life with Julianna. “Do as you wish.” I glanced at my brother. “Rafe, make sure they leave.”
He nodded grimly. My stepmother swept from the room, head high. I knew she would spew as much vile gossip as she could on the way to her carriage, hoping some lingering guest might hear. Claudine followed, but not without throwing one last glare my way. I needed a drink. They were gone, but they sure as hell wouldn’t be forgotten.
Alone, I took a moment to relax my tense shoulders, to breathe with some normalcy once more. I left the room, feeling off balance, uneasy as I made my way down the hall. It was as if they had taken the air with them. I raked my trembling hands through my hair and turned toward my study. Jules. I needed to see Julianna. I’d feel easier when I could explain. Needed her purity to wash away the darkness they’d left behind.
The music continued to play, floating from the ballroom upstairs. The murmured laughter and conversation of guests was irritating, to say the least. They were waiting to hear the gossip, eager to take any scandalous information back to London. I made it to my study unseen, and found Oliver standing guard outside the door. Arms crossed, a frown upon his face, told me something was wrong.
“Jamie.” He pushed away from the wall. “We need to speak.”
“Are they inside?”
“They are. But Jamie—”
“Thank you, Oliver.” My relief was immediate. I shoved open the door and swept into the room. I knew at once that Julianna wasn’t there. The air seemed heavy. There was no lightness, no sweetness, no hope. Her mother and Cecilia sat in chairs near the hearth while her father paced the room. Spotting me, he paused, his face flushed with obvious anger.
Where was Jules? I had wanted to explain to her before I spoke with anyone else. I owed her that much. Perhaps she was a tad angrier than I’d assumed.
“The moment I sold my daughter to you was the biggest mistake of my life,” her father seethed. “You’re a demon. The very devil.”
It took all of my power to ignore the surge of impatience that raced through me. I didn’t even bother to try and defend myself. I’d heard worse. He trembled with his righteous anger. If the man was as ill as Julianna implied, I worried he’d collapse, and…no doubt Jules would blame me. I sent Oliver a glance. Astute, he moved toward the sideboard to pour drinks.
“I swear to you, I am legally married to your daughter, if you’d let me explain—”
“Enough,” her father snapped, slicing his arm through the air in a dismissive manner. “Whether your stepmother lied or not, you have humiliated our daughter one too many times.”
Oliver headed toward the man with a whiskey in hand.
“I don’t want your drink!” He swept his arm wide, knocking the glass from his hand and sending the cup shattering to the floor. “I want you in hell where you belong!”
My hands curled and I bit back the desire to sigh. Part of me didn’t blame her father for his anger. I deserved it. Part of me wanted to shake some sense into the man. There were more important things to worry about than his disappointment. “Where is she?”
“We don’t know where Julianna is,” her mother said, standing. Her father wasn’t the only one upset. I saw on her mother’s face where Julianna got her strength and determination. “We haven’t seen her since your stepmother’s arrival. But if we did know where she was located, we wouldn’t tell you.”
I clenched my jaw to keep from saying something I’d regret.
Her father stomped toward the door. “I don’t care what the courts say, you are no longer a part of this family, and I will do everything possible to end this sham of a marriage. We’re leaving.”
Her mother hurried after the man. Had we all been laughing and chatting like friends only a couple hours ago? Had everything truly been going so well? I should have known it wouldn’t last. No happiness could survive in this hell.
“Cecilia,” I pleaded as she followed, attempting her best to tip-toe passed me.
She hesitated, looked as if she might say something.
“Please.”
We had barely said two words in passing to each other, but I knew this woman was important to Jules. I knew they were close. Closer than she was with any other woman, including her sister. If any woman were to know where my wife had gone, it would be her friend.
“Lia,” Julianna’s father snapped.
Shaking her head, she raced toward the door. Desperate, I followed them into the hall. They were gone. Just like that. The party continued upstairs, while my life was crumbling down around me. It didn’t matter. No one mattered but my wife. As long as she believed me…
“Shite.” I raked my hands through my hair. The unease I felt would not fade until I saw Jules. “Oliver, we have to find Julianna. I need to explain.”
“James, you don’t get it.”
I started through the foyer. “Did you check her chambers? Speak with her maid?”
I started up the stairs. She had no reason to trust me, did she? Of course she was angry. But I’d rather deal with an irate Jules, than none at all. I’d become used to having her near. Liked, even, the fact that I always had someone to talk to, to share with.
“Jamie,” Oliver said.
A few guests had mingled out into the halls. Some called out in greeting, others smiled. I didn’t miss the curiosity in their gazes. Of course none of them would openly question me about my stepmother’s recent proclamation. Damnation, I didn’t have time for this.
“Jamie,” Oliver hissed, following down the hall. “She’s not in her chambers!”
I paused. Had she gone to my room? It made sense. She probably went there to wait for me, hoping for an explanation. I turned and headed toward my wing. “Of course.”
“Jamie,” Oliver snapped, following after me. “You don’t understand. She’s gone. More th
an one person saw her leaving in a carriage.”
I stumbled to a halt, grabbed Oliver and slammed him against the wall. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“She left!”
Stunned, I slowly released my hold and stepped back. No. An icy chill raced down my body. Gone. I should have known. Even though there was a party that continued to thrive, the house felt empty. Gone. The world around me faded, I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. “Did anyone get a description of the carriage?”
“Black.”
Breathe. Just breathe, I told myself.
I stumbled down the hall toward my bedchamber door. “A black carriage,” I snapped. “That helps.”
Damnation. She could have gone anywhere with anyone. Who would have helped her? Her parents and Cecilia had been with me. Yet, someone must have seen her go, must have known.
“When did she leave?”
I shoved open my bedchamber door. It was empty. Yet, I swore the scent of her perfume lingered. Nothing overwhelming but the lightest, sweetest scent of Julianna. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to steady my nerves. Fear and anxiety were making me stupid, and I needed to be rational. I needed to think.
“Almost an hour ago,” Oliver replied.
While I’d been dealing with my stepmother, she had been leaving me. I paused in the middle of my bedchamber, my skin tingling, itchy, tight. Something was wrong. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on…
A swift glance told me what I needed to know. The painting had disappeared. A cold rush of reality washed over me. My knees almost buckled.
Gone.
She was gone. It hit me fully in that moment. She’d taken her painting.
“There’s more, James,” Oliver said, although I was barely aware.
Slowly, I moved toward the spot where I’d placed the painting. Empty. She was making a point, telling me all I needed to know. She was done with me. Damn her. I moved determinedly across the room and reached for the bell cord. She’d married me, we were bonded. I wouldn’t let her go. I couldn’t.
“When I spoke to Julianna’s maid,” Oliver continued. “To see if she might have knowledge of her whereabouts the woman acted suspiciously upset.”
“What is your point?” I snapped, reaching my wardrobe and tearing open the door. Highwaymen were plentiful this time of night. Most guests would have their own guards, but would Julianna? I wasn’t leaving anything to chance. I had no doubt before this night was over, I would have my wife back in my house, in my arms.
“My point is that…” Oliver raked his fingers through his hair. “Damn it all, Jamie…”
I couldn’t stop the ringing in my ears. The tightness in my chest. Nothing would make sense until she was here again. I shoved my pistol in my jacket pocket and reached for my coat.
“She’s with child, Jamie.”
I pulled on my coat, wondering if Julianna had properly dressed. Knowing how rashly she acted, she most likely hadn’t. An image of her on the moors in the rain those weeks ago flashed to mind. Shite.
“With child, Jamie,” Oliver repeated.
I started toward the door. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Your wife, you idiot,” Oliver snapped.
I froze as I was reaching for the door, my back to Oliver. My heart leapt into my throat, my pulse pounding frantically. “No.”
“Your wife is carrying your child.”
A baby? Jules was going to have a baby? My baby? I’d wanted children, planned for them, but now I seemed unprepared. Unprepared, yet…so very ready. A soft laugh escaped my throat as I turned to face my brother. “A baby?”
Oliver nodded, watching me warily.
Everything seemed suddenly right. Claudine’s presence, my stepmother’s arrival, even my father’s lingering ghost no longer peppered the air. The world seemed brighter, hopeful.
“I’m worried,” Oliver muttered. “And I never worry. In her condition…”
“Don’t be.” I clapped him on the back. She hadn’t fled for good. Certainly not when she was with child. Not even Julianna was that rash. She was merely reacting in a dramatic fashion as women were prone to do. “Don’t worry, my brother. I’ll find her.”
I moved into the hall, Oliver following.
“I promise she’ll be home within a couple hours. I’d bet my title on it.”
I was a damn earl.
I always got what I wanted.
And I wanted Julianna.
Volume Three
Julianna
When I was a child, I’d dreamt often of my future marriage.
This wasn’t surprising…after all, it was what I, as a female, had been born and bred to do. Marry. It was something instilled in young girls from the time they could walk. A perfect match…what more was there to life?
I’d dreamt of a lovely wedding gown made of silks and satins. Of my parents beaming with pride. I’d dreamt of marrying a man of such high means that I’d be fodder for gossip for years…an example of the heights a woman could aspire to, if she behaved properly.
A man who would be every woman’s dream.
Yes, I’d wanted the clichéd match.
But as I grew older, I’d also dreamt of a happy, loving marriage to a man with which I could have passionate and lively conversations. A man who would appreciate my artistic style and see me as something more than a womb with which to produce children. A man who would trust and respect me completely. Love me utterly.
For a short while I thought I’d found that man in James, Lord Whitfield. A husband who would please not only me, but my mother and father.
He was certainly a man of means.
He was what my parents wanted for me.
More importantly, what I wanted.
When he was near, my heart raced, my body grew warm. I found myself searching for him, wanting to be near, desiring to hear his thoughts and opinions on everything. And for a short while I thought I could have that loving marriage I had secretly desired, as well as one society deemed appropriate. I should’ve known we couldn’t have it all.
I’d fallen for the man and his promises.
But he’d betrayed me once. Twice.
He would not do it a third time.
I loved James. Honest to god, I hadn’t a clue why, after what he’d done. But I could not deny that I cared for the man much more than I should have.
But I would never, ever trust him.
I wouldn’t be the genteel daughter for which my family had prayed. I wouldn’t be the wife and woman society deemed proper. But I would be me. I would protect my unborn child and make sure the baby had a happy home. A loving home free of pain and betrayal.
Free of the Whitfield curse.
Chapter 1
James
“Jesus, Jamie,” Rafe muttered. “You look like shite.”
I lifted my glass of whiskey and drank deeply, not bothering to pull my gaze from the burning hearth. The cold wind battered the windows of the townhome, the snow ruthless. All over England, we were experiencing an unusually bitter winter. Fitting. The weather mirrored my mood.
“I mean you’ve never been known for your charm, but this is taking things a bit far.”
Annoyed, I tossed the glass toward the fireplace. It shattered against the marble, the whiskey angering the flames and causing them to roar to life. The bitter weather was preventing me from searching for Julianna.
Rafe dusted the snowflakes from his woolen jacket, his face red from the wind. “Lovely.”
Eight months.
She’d been missing for eight months.
“Just tell me if she’s safe,” I had begged, screaming like a bloody fool in the front garden of her parent’s home, uncaring of the servants who peeked from the windows. I’d heard of men acting the fool when desperate for a woman, but never thought I’d be one of those idiots. “I just want to make sure she’s safe.”
But her father had closed the door in my face, as he had the many, many time
s before when I’d arrived demanding answers. Damnation, England wasn’t that large! Where was she? Unless…she was no longer in England. She could have been anywhere.
Rafe moved to the hearth and held out his hands to warm them.
Damn Julianna. Not a word. I hadn’t heard a word about her in eight months. Was she safe? Did she have enough money to survive? I closed my eyes and rested my head back against my chair. By now she’d had the baby…that much I knew. But childbirth was risky and who knew if the babe had survived. Who knew if Julianna had lived through the ordeal.
Hell, if she still lived, I’d throttle her. How dare she leave me without word. How dare she wait until I was captured, falling for her innocence, her purity, her kindness and passion, then disappear. It was as if I’d been walking along the edge of a wall and someone had knocked the stone out from under me.
“Shite,” I whispered, rubbing my hands over my face.
Thoughts of Jules kept me up, tossing and turning. I hadn’t had decent sleep since she’d left. In fact, I’d taken to drinking just so I could fall into unconsciousness at night. But while I slept I wasn’t at peace. Memories haunted my dreams, had me waking in a sweat. The stricken image of Julianna’s face from across the ballroom would haunt me forever. I’d lost her in that crowd and that had been my mistake…not going after her immediately.
I thought she’d needed a moment to herself.
Damn it all. For the first time in my life I was at a loss. I hadn’t a clue how to go on. I felt completely adrift. An earl is always sure of himself. Another tidbit drilled into my brain thanks to my father. Yet here I was, an earl, and completely uncertain of what to do.
“As lovely as this visit has been, I’m not here to socialize. Come on.” Rafe gripped my shoulder and squeezed. “There’s something I need to show you.”
He’d been attempting to lure me from the house and back into society for months. It hadn’t worked then and it wouldn’t now. How could I possibly go about my life? “I’m not in the mood, Rafe.”