by Kat Addams
I wanted to ask him if he’d told his first baby’s mama the same thing. I wanted to yell at him and tell him to fuck off. I wanted to unleash my raging bitch and pummel him over the head with the half-eaten burrito that lay on the dashboard in front of me. But most of all, I wanted to get rid of my torpedo gut and meet my daughter.
I can do this. I’m a dirty, tough female.
I opened my mouth wide, hit a disturbingly deep high note, and pushed.
Scarlett slithered right out, wailing.
“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh,” I shrieked, bawling my eyes out at the beautiful purple bundle that had popped out of me. I ugly-cried, reaching between my legs to grab her.
“I got her. It’s okay.” Nikki took Scarlett in her hands, flipping her facedown. She rubbed her palm over my daughter’s back until Scarlett turned a healthy pinkish hue.
I glanced in the rearview mirror at the commotion behind us. Celeste skidded in on her motorcycle, followed by my parents. They rushed to my door at the same time the nurses came out, running with a wheelchair. They were too late. They were all too late.
Aiden’s eyes brimmed over. “You did it,” he said. He raked his hand across my forehead, tucking my hair back. “You just brought life into the world.”
“Life force,” I whispered as Nikki handed Scarlett to me. I cradled her tiny, wailing body to my chest and kissed the top of her head.
“Welcome to DTF, baby girl,” Betty whispered from where she sat, still far away, curled into the driver’s door.
“DTF,” we replied.
I dozed off and on in the hospital room. Between visitors, nurses, and Scarlett, I barely slept at all. My mind ran on adrenaline from all of the excitement, but my body fell into a lifeless mess. By nightfall, I could barely concentrate. Scarlett was having trouble latching on to my breast and instead had chewed my nipple bloody.
“You have to kind of force her head on there. Practically put the whole boob in her mouth. Like this.” The pediatrician, Dr. Gail, took the back of my baby’s head and shoved it into my nipple before slipping her finger under Scarlett’s lips and fanning them out.
Scarlett began to suckle, and I winced as she clamped down.
“Why can’t I get this? Isn’t it supposed to come naturally?” I asked, tearing up.
Deb had warned me that my hormones would take a while to sort themselves out. She’d told me of all the fun stuff to expect while my body healed. My hair might fall out, my daughter might have acne from me, and I’d have the world’s worst period for a while. Not to mention that every time Scarlett nursed, my womb would contract like I was giving birth again.
Aiden sat on the edge of the bed, watching as I fumbled with feeding our daughter correctly.
“It’s going to take some practice. You’re both learning. Dad here can help her latch on. Let me get you some nipple shields. I’ll be right back.” She hurried out the door.
“You’re doing amazing. I’ll help. Just let me know what to do.” He rubbed his hand up and down my leg.
My stomach jiggled from under the covers. My belly was no longer in the shape of a missile. That was the first thing I’d noticed when I had to hobble to the bathroom to pee. My reflection in the mirror was pudgy instead of protruding. Deb had followed me into the bathroom, helping me into what looked like an adult diaper sprayed down with Cool Whip. I’d never felt so relieved to sit on a pile of cold cream.
“You can start by explaining things to me,” I whispered, cradling Scarlett to my chest.
She suckled twice and fell asleep.
“Ah, about that.” Aiden ran his hand through his hair and gently pushed himself off the bed, walking toward the window.
“I’m back,” Dr. Gail said, setting the nipple shields beside me. “Take these. You just place them over your nipple before you begin nursing. Use them whenever your nipples are sore. They’ll help heal them. Also, don’t let her fall asleep on your boob like that. Pop your nipple out. She’ll begin to use you as a pacifier, and believe me, that is not a battle you want to fight. Call me with any questions. I’ve got another baby to see, but I’ll be around the ward today and tomorrow.” She patted my shoulder before disappearing again.
“You were saying?” I asked.
He turned on his heels, sitting on the ledge of the window—about as far from me as he could get.
“Look, I meant to tell you a long time ago about all that. I hope you believe what I’m about to tell you. I’ve never lied to you or kept anything of huge importance from you, like my child. I had no idea the boy was mine.
“Back when I’d lived in Australia, I had dated Monica, his mum. She became pregnant, and I tried to support her throughout the entire pregnancy. We didn’t have much of a relationship. I loved her, but she kept me at arm’s length. I still persisted in being a supportive partner and dad. I wanted to have a child. I was excited. My parents were even excited. I fell in love with that baby before it was born. On the day he arrived, as soon as she gave birth, she took one look at me and told me he wasn’t mine. No explanation. That was, until earlier, when she arrived at my restaurant with my son.”
I gazed at him from across the room. He had no reason to lie, and I trusted him. I’d always trusted him. But he’d never told me he’d experienced all of this already. I’d thought I was building a life with someone and that we were both experiencing new life goals and adventures. I’d never thought life would throw me a curveball in the form of my baby daddy having a secret baby.
A wave of nausea hit me as Scarlett rooted for my nipple and began to sleep-suckle. My womb contracted in heavy, painful pulses.
He frowned, walking back to the bed. “I’m sorry that hurts. It looks painful. I wish I could help you with the pain.” He slowly sat down, grabbing my feet and rubbing them as I winced.
I popped my boob back out of Scarlett’s mouth. She’d fallen asleep just as quickly as she’d woken.
“Why would she do such a thing though? Why make you go through the entire pregnancy like that? What was in all of this for her? And why has she come back now?” I needed to know more about this bullshit curveball before I allowed Aiden in my field to play again.
“I didn’t get to talk to her for too long before I came here. But the story she told me was that she’d fallen in love with someone else. He was a soldier. She wasn’t sure things would work out with him, and she was too afraid to be a single mum, so she kept me around—at a distance. She convinced herself that the baby was his even though she really had no idea whose it was. She wanted to build this fairy-tale life with the man of her dreams, not the man of her dreams and her baby daddy. She had this picture of what her life was supposed to look like. I wasn’t in that picture. Until I was. As Thomas got older—”
“Wait. Thomas. Did she name him Thomas? Seriously? Like your penis?”
Scarlett let out a coo. Even she thought it was funny.
“She didn’t name him after my penis. She didn’t know his name was Thomas. See? We weren’t as close as I am with you.” He raised his eyebrows.
“Mmhmm. Go on.”
“Thomas started to look like me, the older he got. She wondered but put it in the back of her mind. Two years ago, Thomas’s dad, the one who had raised him, the man of her dreams, died from a massive heart attack. The man had supposedly been in top shape with no previous health issues. It’d just happened. Thomas hasn’t been the same since. She’s tried everything to help him heal, except me. She knew I’d lost my parents, and it was a real struggle for me, so she thought he needed someone who could relate. And it would be even better if that someone was related. So, she came here to find me. That’s all I know.”
“And get back with you.” My voice trailed off into a whisper.
“Not a chance. Besides, she’s still shaken after her husband’s death too. They were probably soul mates, just like my parents, just like Jay and Rox. I could see it in her eyes. She’s carrying that around for life. No one will replace it. Even if she wanted to, I’m
taken. Well, I was taken and quite enjoying it too, by the way. I loved playing house. The honey, I’m homes, the late-night television, the morning sex. I loved all of it. And you. I love you. You know that.” He stopped rubbing my feet and scooted toward Scarlett and me.
“But still, you didn’t tell me about her or what you went through. Why would you keep that from me?” I asked.
“I was afraid it would somehow change things or that you would view me differently or that I’d jinx our relationship into the same thing happening again.”
“You thought Scarlett wouldn’t be yours?”
“No. No! I thought you’d cut me out and cut me off. That I wouldn’t be involved in my child’s life,” he whispered, placing his palm over Scarlett’s tiny head and smoothing her forehead with his thumb. “I didn’t want to miss this. I love her.”
“I would never do that to you. Super friends don’t do that,” I said, smirking.
I couldn’t fault Aiden for having scars from his past. I’d only wished he had been brave enough to tell me about them before we got to this point. Maybe I wouldn’t have been as pissed, but I doubted it. I didn’t know where to direct my anger. But it certainly wouldn’t be at the innocent party.
“How is he anyway? Thomas?”
“Sad. Lonely. I haven’t quite figured out how to manage my role from over here, but I will. He needs help even if he has to stay with me for weeks or months at a time. Whatever it takes. The look in his eyes when he spoke of his dad … that was haunting, Layla. I know that look. It’s when you’re falling or on edge. I’ve had that look. Jay’s had that look. My son has that look. I can’t let him fall. Even if he wasn’t my child, no child should feel that way and have no one to help them.”
“You’re a good father, Aiden. You’ve been one for less than twenty-four hours, but I can already tell you’re knocking it out of the park. Why don’t you see if Thomas wants to meet his new baby sister?” I reached out, stroking his arm while cradling our child with the other.
He visibly relaxed, slumping his shoulders and breathing a long-drawn-out sigh. “And you’re an amazing mum.”
“Thank you. Do you have anything else you want to confess? Might as well get it all out now.” I tapped my fingers across his hand.
“Nope. Ah, well, yes. I think I might have a pregnancy fetish.” He pushed his lips together, wiggling his brows.
“Good luck with that! Don’t even think about it with me after what I just went through. Hard pass. Ask me again when I forget that I just birthed a missile out of my glory hole inside a taco truck.” I laughed.
“At least I made you laugh. Music to my ears.” He smiled, bending over to kiss me and then Scarlett on the forehead.
TWELVE
Aiden
I pulled into Scarlett Herb’s parking lot the next morning and dragged myself into work. A round of applause greeted me at the door as my employees lined up, congratulating me.
“What are you doing here? You’d better not be burying yourself in work again because you’re stressed. You can’t avoid issues all your life,” Jay whispered, pulling me to the side.
“I’m not. I’m handling them. Monica and Thomas are meeting me here for breakfast, and then I’m taking them to meet Layla and Scarlett.”
He cringed, sucking his breath in through his teeth. “Fake baby’s mum meeting real baby’s mum. Or wait. She’s not fake anymore. Shit. How does that work? It doesn’t sound like a fun time to me. Sounds touchy.”
“I have no idea, but it was actually Layla’s idea. I told her everything. We talked for a good while about it all. She’s still a little upset that I didn’t tell her to begin with. I should have, like you said. But she’s more concerned with Thomas. You know Layla and her big heart. She can overlook my stupidity to help someone in need.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and began to walk toward a table, so I could collapse. Jay followed on my heels.
“And just like that, things are okay again?” he asked, sitting in the chair across from me.
“I told her I could handle my problems. She corrected me and said ‘our’ problems. Not that Thomas is a problem. You get the gist. It was quite romantic. She also told me she loved me. We had just finally gotten Scarlett into her bassinet thing, or whatever it is they put beside Layla’s bed, and I had sung her a lullaby. The one mum used to sing to us. Layla looked over at me when I finished and said, ‘I love you. I fell in love with my best friend, and I couldn’t be happier.’ ” My voice rose to a high pitch as I impersonated Layla.
“Wow.” He leaned back, crossing his arms against his chest. The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. “What now? Even though you look like you’ve been run over by a bus, I see that mischievous look in your eyes. What do you have planned?”
“When Layla walked out on me, I panicked. I’d not felt hurt like that since … Mum and Dad. I thought she would be gone for good—both her and my daughter. And then, when I got the text, it was even worse. I thought I was going to lose her … like Mum and Dad. All I knew was that she had gone into sudden labor, and I got scared. Really scared. You know the feeling.” I looked to my brother, who blinked, nodding in response.
“I also felt like maybe I’d caused it. Maybe the stress of Monica and Thomas was too much for her. Anyway,” I continued, “I felt like shit. It was like she’d walked away, taking my heart with her, all while unraveling me stitch by stitch the further off she went. I don’t want her to leave me anymore. I don’t want to leave her anymore. I want to wake up next to her every morning and fall asleep next to her every night. I want to be her good morning and her good night. I’m putting a ring on it. I’m giving her that damn fairy tale she’s always wanted. What do you say? Can you help me?”
“I say, bring on the coffee. We have work to do.” He hopped out of his chair right as Monica and Thomas walked through the door.
I sat back in my seat, rubbing my tired eyes and motioning them over to the table.
“Welcome to my restaurant, Scarlett Herb,” I said, rising and pulling their chairs out before plopping back into mine.
“Charming place.” Monica’s eyes drifted around the room, landing on Jay, who made his way toward us with a pot of steaming French press coffee.
“Ah, Monica, it’s good to see you,” he said. Jay was even more of a gentleman than me, but even I could hear the edge in his voice.
“Hello again, Jay.” She dipped her head before staring into her empty cup.
Jay’s eyes fell on Thomas. “And you must be my nephew, Thomas.”
“You’re my uncle?” Thomas asked.
“Yep. At your service.” Jay saluted before filling our cups.
I picked mine up and breathed in the mouthwatering steam before getting down to business. “Hey, Jay. Can you show Thomas around the kitchen? Whip him up whatever he wants while I talk with Monica.” I raised my brows at my brother, hoping he would take the hint. “Then, after, maybe bring out a few American dishes for them to try.”
“My pleasure. Come on, Thomas. Ever seen the kitchen of a five-star restaurant?” Jay held out his hand, helping Thomas up and to the back.
Jay distracted my son long enough for Monica and me to have a serious conversation about how we were going to move forward with co-parenting. She planned only to stay for a day or two but promised to send him back during their summer break if I could take him for a few weeks. I happily obliged. I had no idea what I would do with one kid, let alone two, but I wasn’t going to leave my son hanging. I was Super Dad.
“How can I trust you on your word? I want to see my son. Maybe I can come there sometime. Show Layla my hometown, and we can see him then too. Twice a year at least. Can you keep your word, and I’ll keep mine?” I asked her.
“I’ll keep my word. That’s my son. My blood. You know how strong that parental bond is now. I’ll give anything to help him be the boy he used to be. It’s like a light has gone out in his eyes. But last night, I saw a glimmer there. It flickered. He ha
d hopium, he said. I don’t know why you’re talking about drugs with our son, but I’m going to just believe you on this. I know you, Aiden. You’d not hurt a flea. You were always a good man. I’m sorry you just weren’t the one for me.”
“Nor you the one for me. You hurt me. Badly. But I’m over it. I have a new love now. I know by the look in your eyes that he was something special to you. It’s rare, finding that. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. Do you have that feeling with Layla? I don’t mean to pry. She seemed pretty upset when I saw her. Like you’d ripped her in half.” She twisted the napkin in her hand.
“I do. We do. Well, it’s getting there. It wasn’t instant, like with soul mates or partners or whatever you want to call them. But I don’t feel like it has to be for that connection. Sometimes, it grows strong through a friendship, slowly edging along until, one day, it’s like you see the person in front of you and realize how dumb you were not to have noticed them there all along. That’s kind of what happened with us. But after seeing her birth my baby girl and meeting little Scarlett, I’m not letting her go. Which is why I’m going to have to cut this convo short. Let’s head up there to meet them. I have some work to do.”
“You’d better be putting a ring on it then,” she muttered, setting her napkin on the table.
“On it.” I grinned, calling Thomas to me.
We dined quickly as I briefed them both on Layla and Scarlett.
“Jay,” I said before leaving, “is DTF helping? I’ll swoop in as soon as they meet Scarlett. I just need to get this done for both Layla’s and my sake.”
“Don’t even worry about it, brother. DTF is on it. But just so you know, I told them to spare no expense and go all out, just like you’d told me. Good luck with that,” he said, grinning.
“She’s worth it. And more,” I said before running out the door.
Monica and Thomas followed behind me in their rental. I would have taken them myself, but I needed to bolt away as soon as we left the hospital. I also needed privacy in my car to make a few calls. In the fifteen-minute drive to the hospital, I used my car’s Bluetooth system to call Celeste and Deb to ask them to stall Nikki’s dismissal until the evening, and I called Layla’s parents to let them know my plans and get them involved too. Finally, I rang DTF to confirm that they had broken into Layla’s place to get those scrapbooks.