by Laney Kay
I saw Mom focus on Luke like a laser beam. Uh-oh. Here we go. I grabbed Luke’s leg under the table in warning, but he just patted my hand reassuringly. She smiled sweetly at him and off she went. What are your plans for the future, are you planning on staying in Atlanta, are you going to buy a house, oh, and when are you getting married?
I choked on my sangria. Luke helpfully pounded on my back until I could catch my breath, and then handed me some water. I could almost breathe again and was about to let my mom have it, when Luke patted my leg under the table, winked at me, and answered my mom with a charming smile. “Well, Carol Ann, I do know I’m staying in Atlanta, but with everything else we haven’t really gotten that far. Once we make some sort of decision, I’m sure you’ll be the first to know.”
She leaned back in her chair and looked at him shrewdly. “So it’s just a matter of time, is what you’re saying? You do realize you’ve been dating for several months now and it’s time to get your ducks in a row.” She rolled her eyes and pointed her head in my direction. “I assume Daisy is the holdup?”
I was about to beg my mother to please shut up when my dad leaned over and put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a warning squeeze. “Now, Carol Ann, that’s enough. They’re grown and they seem to be doing just fine without your help. I’m sure if something momentous happens they’ll let us know.” He looked across at me and I mouthed a silent “thank you.” He winked at me and then focused on Luke. “I am interested in your new business, son. I’d like to add a big screened porch on the back of the house attached to an outdoor kitchen if that’s something you can do.”
“Clayton, I’ll be happy to come take a look, but I can’t get to it till after the first of the year.”
He smiled at Luke. “No rush.”
Mom turned her attention to me, and as soon as I felt her focus point my way, I started to get tense. Luke moved his hand under the back of my shirt, rubbing my lower back comfortingly until I relaxed. When I flashed him a grateful smile, he winked at me, just as my mom started her interrogation. “So, I saw your story on Bella last week and I thought you did a nice job.”
I was confused. “I didn’t know you knew Bella, Mom.”
She nodded and sipped her drink. “I’ve worked with Bella several times to raise money for various children’s charities and she also helped your dad apply for multiple federal grants for new tactical gear.” My dad nodded as she continued. “We both think she’s wonderful at what she does and is a genuinely nice person.” My mom reached for a piece of bread. “Now she just needs to put herself back out there and start dating again.”
I stuffed a big bite of calamari in my mouth and avoided the topic on Bella’s behalf.
The rest of the dinner was relatively uneventful. Mom only commented on my hair twice, my outfit once, the fact that I wasn’t getting any younger three or four times, and she somehow managed to work in over a cheese plate that it wasn’t too late for me to get a breast reduction, so all in all, I considered the evening to be a total success.
By the time we left, I was tired, and slightly aggravated, from fending off my mom’s usual snarky comments but it had been great to see my dad. When we got in the Jeep, I noticed that Luke looked irritated, too, which made me feel gratified. “Ha, ha, look, my mom even managed to piss you off. What was it? The marriage comments?” I nodded knowingly. “Sorry, just ignore it. I know she’s pretty annoying about that. She thinks every woman needs a husband to take care of her. Last time she said it, I reminded her that Lacey Peterson had a husband, and look how well that turned out, and she didn't find that amusing at all.”
He ignored my comments. “You’ve been thinking about a breast reduction?”
I started laughing. “Out of all that, that’s what bugged you?” He’s such a guy. Holy crap, whatever you do, don’t mess with his toys. “No, I don’t want a breast reduction. She wants me to dress better and thinks clothes would fit me better if I got a reduction, so she’s always suggesting it. I tell her you don’t have to worry about how your clothes fit if you only wear t-shirts and yoga pants, which just irritates the shit out of her.”
He still looked annoyed. “So you’re not really considering it?”
I shook my head, still amused. “Not really. I’d thought about it over the years because big boobs are a pain, but I don’t have any physical problems, like headaches or back pain, so I really don’t see the need for surgery.”
He still looked irritated, but seemed more relaxed. I was curious, though. “What if I was having problems?”
He glanced at me as if surprised because the answer was so obvious. “Well, then you’d need to have surgery. I just didn’t want you doing something just to satisfy your mother.”
I snorted. “Please. There’s nothing I can do to satisfy that woman, so I gave up on that a long time ago.” I was surprised at how casual he was about the topic. “So you wouldn’t care if I got a reduction?”
He rolled his eyes. “For completely selfish reasons I don’t want you to, but if you were having health problems, I’d miss them, but I’d get over it.” He reached over and took my hand. “I love you, not your tits.” When I raised my eyebrows and gave him a get-real look, he amended. “Okay, I do love them, but I love the whole you, more.”
I laughed and squeezed his hand. “That was completely lame, but I know what you mean, and I appreciate the thought.”
Luke started the Jeep and drove toward my house. I looked over at him and he looked the same as usual, calm and unworried—okay and also extremely hot—but I know that he was stressed out about this whole situation with Bella. I reached over and grabbed his hand. “You okay with having to wait on Puerto Rico? I know you’re not the sit back and let someone else handle it kind of guy.”
He smiled and shrugged and lifted my knuckles to his mouth for a quick kiss. “Nothing else we can do. I figure we’ll know in a few weeks whether it’s a go, and until then, we’ll just keep doing our thing.”
I knew he was right, but I hated the fact that there was nothing for us to do. I squeezed his hand until he looked at me and then I bobbled my eyebrows and shot a finger gun at him. In the cheesiest voice I could manage, I said, “Heeeyyy big guy, if you’re in the mood for something you can control, you know I’ll try just about anything once, and maybe more than once if you’re lucky. Especially if it involves you completely naked.” I winked. “That’s the one time you’re welcome to be the boss of me.”
That made him laugh and he looked much more relaxed. “Despite the fact that I now feel like I’ve been propositioned by the world’s sleaziest used car salesman, oddly enough, that sounds like an excellent plan. Let’s get home and see how much you really like to be bossed around.”
I threw both my hands in the air and yelled “Woo Hoo!” and Luke laughed as he turned onto my street. In a couple of minutes we were home, and then I proved to him that there are times that him being the boss of me was great for both of us.
14
Despite our concerns, the next few weeks flew by. I was way ahead on my columns, my latest article had gotten great feedback, and I had enough ideas for my TV gig for the rest of the year, so I was coasting through the fall. Luke, on the other hand, was freakishly busy. Because he was getting his business ready to start after the first of January, he had to get a business license, tax ID numbers, worker’s comp coverage, liability insurance, pass a test for his Georgia contractor’s license, get his corporation set up and registered, and get established with a bank. On top of that, he already had a waiting list of people who wanted work done, so he when he wasn’t at school or at City Hall, he was putting together proposals for potential clients. Whenever I had time, I was helping him fill out paperwork and put together packets for the insurance companies and banks.
One night, Luke and I were hanging out after dinner doing some paperwork and we heard a knock on the door. We looked at each other, and he asked, “Were you expecting someone?”
I shook my head and
Luke got up to answer the door. It was Bella. He stood back and motioned her in. “Hey Bella. Come on in.”
She was grinning and danced into the house, punching both hands in the air and humming the theme from Rocky. “Hey. Sorry I didn’t call first, but I have something to tell you.” She could hardly contain herself. “Guess who I just got off the phone with?”
Luke and I looked at each other and he started laughing. “From your reaction, I assume you finally heard from Glenda?”
“Hell, yeah, I just heard from Glenda. Guess which two assholes are the new co-chairs for our fundraiser?” She didn’t wait for our answer. “That’s right, Glynn and Nicholai.”
I jumped up to hug her and we hopped around yelling while Luke watched us and laughed. “Okay, Bella, tell us the details. How did you hook her?”
“Not just her, them. It was a carefully planned, diabolical plot that freakin’ worked! Right after the news release, I had one of the local event planners call her and a couple of other people. She told Glenda—wait, Glynn, so I don’t get mixed up--Glynn that she was one of the three people we were considering to be hosts of the gala, but we really weren’t sure who we were going to pick, so someone would be in touch later. It turns out that as soon as Glynn got that call, she started campaigning with all of the local planners to try to get selected as host for the event. I told them to put her off until this week. I wanted her to have time to hear everyone talking about it so that she’d be dying for it by the time we made a selection. It totally worked.”
Luke was concerned. “The planners don’t know anything do they?”
Bella laughed. “No. No one knows anything, and I assure you that Glynn doesn’t suspect a thing. I just got off the phone with her.” She smiled. “She’s the one who called me, by the way, and asked if we’d selected the host yet. I told her, ‘That’s so funny, I was going to call you later today’ and that was it. She was hooked.”
I was impressed. “Damn, Bella, you are a socialite whisperer.”
Bella grinned. “Maybe so, but this wasn’t even difficult. I told her that her fabulous abilities in fundraising and his oversight of the construction make them the perfect couple to head up the festivities. Plus, of course, they’d get a special award for all their hard work. Y’all would’ve been impressed at how thick I laid it on.” She imitated herself fawning over Glenda in a sing-song voice. “’Oooh, y’all have worked so hard. The two of you are so wonderful. The two of you together have done more than anyone in Belize, St. Croix, and Puerto Rico combined…blah, blah, blah.’ She totally ate it up.”
Luke hugged her. “Bella, you’re a rockstar. Thanks, so much.”
She hugged him back and kissed him on the cheek as he released her. “It was my pleasure, Luke.” She grinned at both of us. “Okay, so most of the big planning is being done as we speak, so all that’s left is the details for the benefit itself. Now we all have to get together and finalize how, where, and when we were going to arrest them.”
I grabbed my phone off the coffee table. “Is Sunday okay? We were planning on getting together at Mark and Sara’s around four, anyway.” Bella nodded. “Hang on, let’s see if everyone’s still available.” I sent a text to Sara, Mo, and Lola and waited for an answer. “I was going to invite you so you could meet everyone, but this’ll kill two birds with one stone.”
Everyone confirmed they were still planning on meeting Sunday. I told Bella that we could pick her up if she’d like to ride with us, and she said she’d let us know.
Bella turned to Luke. “Do you think Agent Prince is available on Sunday?”
He shrugged. “I’ll ask. Worst case, maybe we could all Skype or Facetime him while we are together. I know he’s bringing one other agent with him to Puerto Rico, but he thought that having Daisy’s dad there as backup would be a great idea. It turns out that Agent Prince’s boss worked with Clayton before and had said that he would approve any paperwork to basically deputize him. I’ve already called him to ask if he’d like to come along as an official law enforcement agent, and he was thrilled to help out, so he’ll be going with us, too. ”
Bella agreed. “The more the merrier.” She turned to me. “And Daisy, I love your dad, so it’ll be great to have him there.”
An alarm sounded, and Bella pulled out her phone. “Damn it. I’ve got to go.” She shoved her phone in her pocket and turned to leave.
I opened the door for her and grabbed her hand as she headed out. “Bella, thanks again.”
She squeezed my hand, smiled, and waved to Luke as she left. She called over her shoulder. “See y’all Sunday.”
As soon as Bella left, I texted my Dad and told him we were getting together on Sunday at Sara’s to go over details and asked him to meet with us. And by him, I meant just him, not him and mom. He said no problem. I thanked him and said we’d see him then. Luke texted Agent Prince and he said he’d be happy to Skype with us Sunday afternoon.
On Sunday, I spent the morning cooking for the week and I made some snacks for our four o’clock meeting at Sara and Mark’s. Bella decided to drive herself, but the three of us got there right at four. Bella already knew Lola, Sara, and Mark, so I introduced her to Harrison and Mo. Mark was getting drink orders and I was setting up a tray with some of my cheese straws and cookies and a batch of red velvet cupcakes, which got me a big smacking kiss from Harrison as soon as he saw them, when I saw my dad come in. He greeted everyone, and then came across the room and hugged me off my feet. I had made him a batch of lemon blueberry scones, which are his favorite, and he happily settled on the sofa with a scone and some coffee. Everyone grabbed a snack and we settled in for an update from Bella.
“Okay, the gala is set up and ready to go. Our Puerto Rico organizers did a great job of finding a place and a group of caterers big enough to handle the size of the group, which looks to be somewhere between two and three hundred people. The good thing is that we’re actually going to earn a ton of money on this benefit. We got the place and the caterer at a discount because no other group is doing anything like this right now, so they’re desperate for business. The good part for us is everyone is coming because there are no other events right now.” She nodded toward Luke and Lola. “With the amount y’all donated, the per plate amount from the dinner, and the amount from the silent auction, we should have enough to completely fund all of the projects we had proposed, plus a good bit more.”
She looked at all of us. “So here’s what we need to decide.” She focused on my dad. “Clayton, when do you think is the best time to arrest them?”
He swallowed a bite of scone. “Well, since they’re not violent types you’ve got options. Do you want to do it the easiest way, or do you want to have a little fun with it and maybe embarrass the hell out of them?”
Luke and Lola and I grinned at each other. I turned then and winked at Sara. “I think we should go for maximum damage and should just turn them over to Sara for a little alone time.”
Sara nodded and everyone laughed, but my dad looked horrified at the thought. “That’s a bad idea. We need to bring them back in one piece and I’m not sure I could explain that kind of damage.”
Everyone nodded in agreement, and I said, “Okay, that’s hilarious. That’s exactly what Luke and Lola said.”
Bella looked confused as she glanced over at tiny, innocent-looking Sara. Sara offered an angelic little smile, and then nodded with a shrug. “It’s true. I’d tear his nuts off and then I’d kill that skank bitch where she stood.”
We laughed at the expression on Bella’s face, but all of us were used to Sara and her protectiveness toward everyone she loves. I once saw her kill a three-foot copperhead with her bare hands when it almost bit one of her kids. She left its body hanging outside on the fence so “his friends can see what I do to assholes that try to hurt my babies.” I know Bobby didn’t go over there for weeks after that incident.
Bella stood there looking at all of us, laughing and shaking her head. “Okay, so letting Sara take
care of them is not an option, it seems. Clayton, what options would be safer?”
“Well, I’d say there’s a couple of ways to do this. If y’all want to take them out with minimum fuss and effort, we can arrest them as soon as they get to Puerto Rico, or as soon as they get to the rehearsal. Bella, I’m sure y’all have a room backstage and you could get them both back there before everything starts. Prince and his partner could come in and arrest them there and no one will be the wiser. I’ll just hang around in case they need me.”
Luke looked at my dad. “Clayton, just out of curiosity, what if we did want to embarrass the hell out of them?”
My dad grinned at him and then winked at me. “I’ll have to admit, that one kind of appeals to me. We could arrest them when they’re onstage. As soon as they got the award, Prince and his partner could walk up and slap the handcuffs on them.”
We all started laughing. That would be a pretty humiliating scenario for two people who are all about appearances. My dad was still turning it over in his head. “You’d have to check with Prince and his partner to see if they have any preference, but it shouldn’t be dangerous or a problem for anyone.” He turned to look at Bella. “Bella, what would you prefer? We know this gala is an important fundraiser for you. Would you prefer we do it behind the scenes, or wide out in the open so everyone has something to talk about?”
Lola pointed out, “You know they always say that any publicity is good publicity.”
Every head turned to Bella to see what she thought. She shrugged. “Are you kidding? A huge scandal like that happening right in the middle of the party? I’m sure people would be talking about that for years. Check with Agent Prince, but whatever y’all want to do is fine with me.”
Luke looked at his watch. “Prince said to call when we were all together, so we can find out right now what he thinks.” He turned to Mark and pointed to the huge 70” television on the wall of the family room. “Didn’t you say we can Skype on this thing?”