Damn, I hadn’t had that many cocks in my mouth, but his was something special. Long and ample, and I loved how velvety smooth it felt as it stretched my lips. I could feel him shivering as my hand slid down to cup his nuts, which were already heavy and full.
I could tell he was edging along that cliff, so I pulled off, wanting him to hang on for the ride as long as possible. Gripping the underside of his knees, I gently lifted them to his shoulders, careful not to irritate the knee he liked to pretend wasn’t bothering him.
I could see the flush on his cheeks as he reconsidered being so exposed to me, but my greedy gaze could not get enough of his pretty hole. Dark, translucent hair lined the wrinkled rim, and I couldn’t wait to get a taste. If only he’d give me the chance.
“Please tell me I can eat your ass.”
Julian gasped as I bent forward and blew across his hole. “Fuck yes.”
He squirmed as I moved my face closer, then sucked in air as I tenderly kissed his hole. I might never get the chance again to show him how much being with him meant to me. How sacred. Little did he realize how much his trust and vulnerability charmed me to my very core. How much I’d always craved this sort of connection with someone.
“Jesus, it feels so good.”
My mouth swept upward to engulf his sac, and he stifled a deep moan. Moving lower, I licked up and down his crease as his breath stuttered. My tongue circled his rim, soaking the hair with saliva, then teasing him by plunging in the tip.
He gripped the back of his thighs as I went all in, his shaft leaking steadily against his abdomen. His hole was so tight, pinching at my tongue as I poked farther inward, then seesawed out again. He rocked his hips to get closer to my mouth as I tongued-fucked him relentlessly, biting, then licking and prodding as far inside as I could get until he was a sobbing, boneless mess.
I lifted two of my fingers to his lips and groaned as he eagerly sucked them into his mouth, my own balls aching for release. Gently removing my digits, I bent forward to nip at his lips, then lower to his jaw, wishing I could leave a mark.
I loved seeing him all blissed-out like this, with swollen lips and widened pupils and the pretty streaks of color across his chest. I returned to stuffing my tongue inside him as he moaned shamelessly and begged me to fuck him already.
When the tip of my finger joined my tongue, he cursed up a storm. I added a second digit, filling his hole, my mouth once again engulfing his cock, which was hot and stiff and throbbing, providing a mind-blowing rhythm to aid the thrusts of my fingers.
He thrashed and cursed, on the verge of shooting, but I pulled back just in time to roll a condom down my shaft and sloppily apply lube. I lifted my head toward the ceiling and panted, trying to regain control of myself. I wanted to make it last, but it was too damned good.
I lined up my cock and pressed against his softened hole. Leaning forward, I offered a tender kiss. “Still sure about this?”
Our eyes met. This was it. We’d be crossing the line, and I needed to hear him give his consent out loud.
He stretched upward, brushing his lips against my throat, no doubt feeling my pulse beat erratically against his mouth. He feathered kisses across my jaw to my ear, where he nipped the lobe and rumbled, “Fuck me good, cowboy.”
Holy shit, this man would be the death of me. Readjusting my hold, I thrust shallowly at first, making sure he became adjusted to my width as he panted openly, watching me, which was so fucking sexy.
And then in one powerful drive, I was buried to the hilt. I looked down to see my cock splitting his cheeks just as I’d imagined, and my eyes nearly crossed from the intense gratification of being inside him.
Moaning, he stared into my eyes, his lips slightly parted as I snapped my hips and steadily pounded into him. I doubted anything would ever feel as good or satisfying.
Julian grabbed his cock, fondling his shaft in long, easy strokes, knowing exactly how to manipulate it. When my hand wrapped around his, he bowed his back, urging me on, as we stroked him fast and firm until his body was thrumming with need.
Pushing his legs higher, I changed the angle, and as I hit pay dirt, tapping his prostate time and again, he shuddered. “Oh fuck yeah. Right there.” He threw his head back and lost it, his come surging onto his stomach and chest, some even landing on his neck. He gripped the sheets, riding out his orgasm as he screwed his eyes shut and moaned. My balls drew up tight, my spine hot and prickling as I clutched his muscular thighs and drove upward, feeling his hot hole contract around me. A couple more thrusts and I broke apart, shooting my load deep inside him as I trembled from head to toe, my heart thrashing wildly.
Collapsing onto the sheets, I caged him in my arms, needing him closer, then buried my face in his neck and licked the salt from his skin.
His body was pliant against mine, warm and soft, and he tucked his head against my throat. “Fuck, that was…”
“Incredible.”
He hummed his approval as I kissed the top of his head.
“Thank you,” I whispered. It was the first time I had a man in my bed—a very special man—and the experience was bound to stay with me for a long time. “For one of the best nights of my life.”
25
Julian
I blinked my eyes open sometime in the middle of the night, like I needed to make sure I was indeed in Kerry’s bed, we were still alone, and that he had undoubtedly just rocked my world. I’d never had sex like that before, where I felt completely consumed by someone, and melancholy overwhelmed my chest that it might be my last. Kerry was a rare treasure. I was already pretty gone for him, that was for certain, and I wasn’t sure anyone would ever compare.
He had one arm thrown over my waist, his soft breaths feathered against my neck, and I could feel his stiff shaft digging into the small of my back. My own cock was hard, pretty much had been all night, and I couldn’t help rocking against him just a little so I could really feel him.
When he groaned in my ear, I shivered. He obviously had been sleeping as lightly as me.
When Kerry’s fingers gripped my hip and he jerked forward, I moaned, hoping for a round two, even though my ass was still a little sore from the pounding he gave it. The sheets had dried from our come, and my hole was still packed with lube, so when he stuffed two fingers inside me, I hissed, loving that feeling of fullness. “Yessss.”
“Tell me how much you want my cock again.” His voice was gruff in my ear.
“Like my next breath,” I replied in a husky whisper, and he pulled his fingers out of me. I nearly groaned out loud from the loss until I heard the sound of a wrapper.
He shifted to lie on top of me, giving me all his weight. Fuck yes. He rocked against me a couple of times before stuffing his cock back inside my hole, and I swore I saw heaven. Then all of the stars when he sucked on my ear and his hand roughly encircled my throat, making me gasp.
My skin felt tight and tingly, the air being siphoned from my lungs as he crudely pounded me from behind. We were like two dogs in heat who couldn’t get enough of each other, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
I gripped the pillow in earnest because all of it was just too damned good. I moaned and lifted up, trying to meet his thrusts because I still needed more. His arm reached down to hook around my abdomen, and he kept me tightly pinned against him. He kissed my shoulder, lightly nipped it on a growl, but enough to make me shudder.
“Fuck.” I could feel my balls ready to let loose as Kerry murmured in my ear, “I’ve never had better than you.”
That was all it took for me to shoot into the sheets, my mind blanking out, my breath trapped in my throat until he removed his hand and kissed me tenderly on the shoulder.
He wasn’t far behind as he lifted onto his forearms, then pumped himself into oblivion, my hole smarting from the contact. I don’t think I’d had better either.
When he collapsed on top of me, his heartbeat thrashing against my shoulder blades, I couldn’t keep my eyes from shutting a
s I fell into a blissful sleep, still feeling his softening cock inside me.
I awoke right before the alarm, this time my arm cradling his waist, and listened to the stillness of the house. This was a different kind of stillness than all the other times I had gotten up at dawn to help him in the barn. This was an empty house with just the two of us, something that hadn’t happened since I’d arrived several weeks ago. And it felt special—or I was just feeling nostalgic and desperate to savor everything where Kerry and the farm were concerned.
He stirred when the alarm went off, and I kissed the back of his head, unable to stop myself at the novelty of it all.
“Time to make the doughnuts,” he murmured.
I snickered. “What?”
“Uh-oh, am I showing my age?” He glanced at me over his shoulder.
“Dude, you’re what, thirty? You only have five years on me.”
He cracked a sleepy smile. “My father used to say that when I was a kid. It’s from a popular commercial.”
“Ah, okay, that actually sounds familiar.” I pulled back the sheets. “Okay, doughnut guy, let’s get going.”
When we rolled out of bed, I had trouble locating my boxers.
“All right, where’d you hide them, Phoebes?” Kerry asked with an eye roll, as if this was an old game they played. And it probably was, given the number of times I’d caught Hamlet rooting through piles of stuff left around. Now I wondered if he was behind the mystery of my missing sock.
That was when I saw Phoebe dart for the hallway with my boxers, Hamlet adding his own contribution with one of Kerry’s socks. The little buggers.
“She apparently likes you better naked,” he snickered. “Can’t say I disagree.”
He bent forward to deliver a heated kiss that almost made me pull him back into bed.
Almost. But it was best we didn’t get a late start, just in case.
We chuckled when Phoebe and Hamlet rounded the corner again with our laundry, but Kerry was able to snatch them up easily as they squealed, and we cracked up.
“Gross,” I said, wrestling my boxers out of Phoebe’s mouth. “You are too much. Unfortunately, I’ll still miss you little stinkers.”
The mood in the room changed as Kerry sobered, no doubt realization dawning that our time was limited to days now, not weeks. I didn’t want to ruin the vibe, so I kissed him again before rounding up my clothes and heading to my room to change.
After we freshened up and grabbed some coffee, we went to the barn, only to have Maisy flick her tail impatiently at us.
“Sorry, girl. I was busy loving up a cute boy. You understand, don’tcha?” he said with such affection, my heart skipped a beat. My cheeks felt on fire, but he ignored my reaction and just got to work.
I nearly wrestled him to the ground and took his mouth again.
And it was undeniably bittersweet working the farm, just Kerry and me.
When Sienna got home a couple of hours later with Ainsley in tow, Ainsley chattered on about her sleepover with Grandma while Sienna had trouble making eye contact, which was an obvious clue that she’d spent the night with Brad. And I wasn’t complaining because I would’ve stayed in bed with Kerry all day long if I had the chance. Guilt could not worm its way inside me this time, and it seemed Kerry wasn’t allowing it to either because the shadows normally present beneath his eyes had vanished for the day.
I would treasure the night I spent with Kerry forever. That much was true.
Even two days later, Kerry and I could not stop our stupid grins as we passed by each other on the porch. “You look good leading Mercy around the paddock,” he said.
“Thanks, it feels awesome.” I watched him a second as he met George by the tractor to have some words. I wanted to burn all this into my memory, especially Kerry.
I had completed another session with Dr. Barnes, and that too felt heavy, since I only had one left before I made my way back East again. Had I been here longer, I might’ve asked her to help me lead up to actually riding Mercy. But that would require overcoming more of my fears. And if I knew Dr. Barnes, she would never consider rushing the process. I appreciated that about her. I was getting so much from slowing way down and just enjoying my time with Mercy. Besides, who knew if he was ready to ride again after the traumatic accident he’d been through.
That was the thing I’d learned about mercy—the word, not the horse. Though they definitely went hand in hand. It took patience and compassion to get over the toughest hurdles in your life and finally let someone in. So in a way he was my salvation, and maybe I was a little bit his too.
It was just me and Marta when I stepped inside to have lunch, and I quietly ate my sandwich while she set the oven timer and whipped up chocolate-chip cookies from scratch.
I was surprised I hadn’t gained twenty pounds from her cooking.
After lunch I was going to finish painting the large counter that would serve as a checkout area in the silo. And I was busy making a special sign for the front door, that was now painted with a pop of sunflower yellow—Sienna’s idea.
So I thought the sign above it would only be fitting. Firefly Goods.
“You’ve been working hard, Mr. Julian,” Marta said as she placed down the pot holders and started unloading the dishwasher.
“I could say the same about you.” I rarely caught her sitting down or taking a break.
She smiled sheepishly, busying herself with the glasses and cupboards. “My husband was an officer in the Navy,” she said, not meeting my eyes, and I sat up straighter since she seldom mentioned him outside of explaining that he died a decade ago of a sudden heart attack. “He served in the second Iraq war. It changed him.”
“I’m sorry.” My heart felt fragile from hearing the emotion in her voice. “I would’ve liked to have met him.”
She nodded, her forehead wrinkling. “He was like you. He would have bad dreams about the war…sometimes in broad daylight.”
I tensed, wondering how long she’d been wanting to say this to me and what made her finally approach the topic. Maybe because she knew our time was coming to an end.
“Apparently a lot of us do,” I responded, again thinking of the soldiers I’d encountered at the VA. “How did he handle it?”
“He would see somebody about it.” Her gaze swung to the door. “He would’ve also liked working with the horses…if that’d been an option back then.”
I dipped my head. “I feel very lucky.”
She squeezed my shoulder as she passed by my chair. “The horse is lucky too.”
And that only made me blush harder, so I took the last bite of my sandwich and pretended not to be so moved by the compliment.
As I watched her bustle around the kitchen so effortlessly, it made me wonder all kinds of things. “Why did you decide to come to Firefly Farm?”
“I’ve known Mr. Kerry since he was this big.” She demonstrated with her hand, and now I remembered him saying she used to be a part-time member of their staff at the ranch. “He’s a good man.”
I met her eyes. “He is.”
“He cannot help…who he is,” she said, and I held in a gasp.
“True.” I nodded. “Everybody is exactly who they need to be.”
Marta smiled in a motherly way that made my chest tighten. “He deserves to be happy too.” She gave me a knowing look that made me flush.
“He does.” I rubbed at the stitch in my chest. “But sometimes…life has other plans.”
She finished drying a dish and stacked it in the cupboard. “And sometimes life shows you things in plain sight.”
Before I could even begin to unpack what she meant, Sienna and Ainsley came bustling inside, Ainsley eager to show me the new nail polish she’d bought.
But I couldn’t get out of my head what Marta had told me, and it prompted me to make a late-night visit to the stables, hoping Mercy wouldn’t mind the company. He chomped on a couple of sugar cubes I’d found in my pocket—go figure—as I stroked his nose from out
side the gate.
“Do you have nightmares too?” I asked him, and he nickered as if in response.
“There are plenty of others like us,” I told him, thinking of Marta’s husband. “Carrying sad and scary stuff inside.”
He neighed a little like he could understand me, when he probably only wanted another treat. “But maybe in the end, it’s a blessing. Makes us more sensitive to the world around us.”
Or to things in plain sight, to use Marta’s words.
I chewed on that a bit longer, imagining a different sort of life for myself. Simple and tranquil, filled with laughter and soft looks and making love under the stars.
My heart ached with longing as I hummed a muted melody to Mercy, one that reminded me of my dad when I was a kid.
I nuzzled Mercy’s neck, taking in his scent and the suppleness of his coat. The feel of his gentle snuffles against my nape calmed me enough that I was able to pad back to my bed and fall asleep.
26
Kerry
I watched from the end of the paddock as Julian finished what would be his last session with Dr. Barnes. He had groomed and exercised Mercy, and that was a big deal not only for him, but also because it was one step closer to Mercy trusting someone to ride him again.
Too bad that won’t be Julian.
I ignored the ache in my chest as I pulled out my phone and clicked to the camera setting. I had taken some earlier photos of Ainsley riding around the paddock with Piper—now at the speed of a trot, which was exciting for all of us—so I wondered if Julian would appreciate having some memories of his own to keep. And okay, they would be for me too, which might hurt too much for a while, but I’d be sure to appreciate them all the more later on.
With that thought in mind, I zoomed in and clicked a few different shots, not wanting to appear like some stalker. At least to Dr. Barnes. For Julian’s part, I could tell he was soaking up every last opportunity, just like me. He’d even helped with the cows yesterday afternoon, and I pretended it had more to do with me than the animals, but the honest to God truth was, I didn’t know what was going on in Julian’s brain when it came to us and our arrangement.
Have Mercy Page 19