She pawed at my skin, her nails digging into my neck. She straddled me and ground herself against me, driving me near wild with desire. This wasn’t the Willow who’d been so timid about sex. This Willow was wild, desperate, aching to drive out her fears and insecurities with my cock. And I was only too happy to oblige.
I tugged her shirt off, and she slipped her own bra over her head, forcing her tiny, perfect breasts into my hands. The nipples were already hard as I rolled them in my fingers, causing her to cry out with pleasure.
I reached for her fly, but she shoved me back against the bed, and did it herself. It was some feat of gymnastics how she tugged off her trousers and prosthesis while kneeling over me, but I couldn’t stop to contemplate the physics of it because her beautiful body leaned over me and she gripped my zipper, tugging it open and dragging my jeans down over my thighs. “I want to know what you taste like,” she whispered against my lips.
“Willow Summers, you are a delight.” She bent over me, and took me into her mouth. Her wet tongue slid down my length. I moaned as she wrapped her hand around me, and started to stroke me, slowly at first, alternating with her hands and her mouth, then faster. I gripped the sheets as I watched my cock slide in and out of her mouth. Her eyes locked on mine, driving me closer to the edge.
“Willow … sweet Willow … you must stop … “
She laughed against me, and stroked me faster.
I gripped her shoulders and hoisted her off me, dragging her back on top of me. “You are a wicked lass,” I scolded her, sucking in a deep breath and trying to calm myself before I cut our evening short.
“But I was enjoying that,” she murmured.
“I think you’ll enjoy this a whole lot more.” I fitted her hips over mine, and thrust up inside her.
Oh, sweet exquisite beauty! Her warmth enveloped me, and I lost myself in her. The bond surrounded us, swirling around us but also pulsing through my veins, joining us as one. I wanted nothing more than to drown in the sweetness of her body for the rest of my days.
We bucked against each other like animals. The wolf inside me bayed with his own pleasure as Willow tossed her head back, howling like an animal in heat. Her nails dug into my shoulders, and her whole body tightened around me as an orgasm ripped through her. The bond drew us tighter, wrapping our bodies so close together that I no longer knew where flesh and bone began. All that existed was her bright eyes and her ferocious kiss and her sweet, yielding warmth …
A rumbling rose within me, starting from my stomach, where the wolf scratched against my skin, and extending out through my whole body, claiming every limb and extremity. Willow’s neck brushed against my chin, and the sweet scent of her skin overwhelmed me. My mate.
I needed her. I needed to claim her.
I bit down, the rush of the connection surging to my mind. Willow moaned and clutched at me, and I dropped her neck as I realised what I’d done, but I was too far gone. I let out a howl of my own as I lost control, and a powerful surge of hot energy coursed through me, shaking me to my core. I surfaced, struggling to catch my breath as sweat poured down my face.
“Willow Summers,” I puffed, as her lips found mine again. “You are something else.”
We melted together, our bodies no longer capable of movement. As the heat of our lovemaking subsided, the strength of our bond, now tenfold because of what I’d done, surged between us.
If Willow noticed a change, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she fell asleep within minutes, her hair falling over her face as a thin line of drool snaked from her lips to my pec. I remained awake, my gaze moving between the ceiling and the dark welt I’d made on her neck, feeling more and more guilty.
I’d lost control. I’d let the alcohol and the magic of being with her overtake me, and I’d given her the bite. I’d claimed her, without her permission, without even telling her what it meant.
It was unforgivable.
Willow was just beginning to trust me, and to believe that shifters were not all evil. And here I was, proving once again that I really was the monster she feared.
I vowed that I would speak to Clara as soon as I could. She must have a spell that would enable me to break the bond. Willow wouldn’t even have to know.
In the meantime, the least I could do was make sure she was safe. And that meant safe from me. While Willow slept, I slid out of bed and moved onto the porch, where I transformed into my wolf form. As my senses heightened to the intense sensations of the forest, I walked around the cabin, trying to calm the horrible churning in my gut.
I peered through the window at her sleeping figure. Again, I was struck with just how intensely I felt about her. I wanted to give her everything I had, and for us to be together forever, but I had a sneaking suspicion I’d just ruined everything.
* * *
I stayed outside all night, punishing myself for the horrible thing I’d done.
I spent a lot of time staring at Willow through the window. She looked so serene when she slept, her face smushed against the pillow. It was hard to believe she was so wild last night. In the full glow of the moon, I could just make out the dark bruise of my claiming bite on her neck.
You’re a horrible person. You just proved that you are the monster that she feared.
She stirred and sat up. “Irvine?” she called. “Where are you?”
I gulped. There was no way I could keep this secret any longer. I needed to tell her the truth.
Time to face the music.
I transformed back into my human form, pulled on my jeans, and trudged back inside. Willow opened her arms from me, but I slumped down into the chair by the stove. I couldn’t bear to look at her. “We need to talk.”
“What’s wrong? Did you see something?” Fear crept into Willow’s voice.
“No, it’s not that. How much do you ken about werewolf mating? What has your mother told you about your birth?”
“Not this again. I don’t want to talk about them—”
“I ken, I’m sorry. But this is really important. I’ve done something terrible, and I need to explain it.”
Willow sighed. “Not a lot. All she said was that werewolves are men, and they prey on innocent women with certain genes to give them their children. She said my father tricked her into loving him and then threatened to hurt her if she left him. But it was when he attacked me that she finally got the courage to stand up to him, and he ran away with his tail between his legs like the coward he is.”
“Then your father is even more despicable than I thought, for taking what is a beautiful thing and turning into an act of violence and horror.” And I’m worse. I’m so much worse.
“So none of that is true?”
“Aye, it’s true enough that there are no female werewolves. The gene is passed down through the male chromosome. If we wish to have children to continue our line, we must find a woman who carries that gene. We’re biologically wired to recognise a compatible female. But more than that, there are certain pairings that are more desirable, more perfectly matched – we call those pairings the fated mates. Has your mum ever mentioned that?”
Willow shook her head.
“It’s a core part of shifter lore. Almost every species of shapeshifter has this connection to their fated mate. When those two people meet – if they ever meet – the connection manifests as a magnetic energy pulling them together.”
I let that sit for a moment, and dared a glance at her. Willow’s eyes went wide, and she scrambled up, darting as far away from me as she could get in the tiny space. Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.
“Wait, you’re not saying that the weird energy when we touch … that I … that we …” Her eyes were wide with terror.
My heart hammered against my chest. “Willow Summers, you and I are fated mates.”
Willow’s whole face crumpled. “I can’t … Irvine. I can’t be a fated mate. I just can’t. You know what I’ve been through already because of what my father did. It’s one thing h
aving this casual thing, but—”
“How casual has this been, really?” Desperation filled me as I saw Willow slipping away. “I see the way you look at me, how you want to be close, even when you push me away. When you were scared, whose arms did you fall into? Is that just casual?”
“I was scared! I wasn’t thinking! I’ve been scared ever since Bianca’s wedding, and after everything I told you, I can’t believe you’d throw that back in my face.” Her eyes hardened, and a chill settled over my heart. “Is this what you wanted to tell me?”
“Yes, and … there’s more.” I sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry. I lost control. Last night, I marked you.”
“Marked?”
“That bite on your neck … it isnae just a hickey. It marks you as my mate. Other shifters can sense the strength of our bond and ken not to come near you. It’s a symbol of commitment in our world, and I never ever should have given it to you without your permission.”
Willow didn’t say anything. I continued, the words rushing out before I could think. “I dinnae ken what came over me. I wasn’t in control of myself. Our connection was so intense, and I wanted to be closer to you, and your skin smelt so good and I just … I slipped. It’s unforgivable.”
Nothing. My heart jackknifed against my chest. I felt as though I were being torn in two. I’ve lost her. I’ve lost her the way I lost everything else – through my own monstrous nature.
A lump rose in my throat, and I struggled to get the next words out. “I’m going to see Clara today, and she’ll have a spell or something that will strip the mark from you. I’ll undo it so it never happened, and then I promise I’ll stay away from you. I won’t ever speak to you again. I’ve broken your trust. I cannae ask to have it back. You deserve so much better than me.”
“I don’t want that,” Willow said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
I whipped my head up. Her eyes met mine, and I saw something there that I didn’t expect to see.
I saw an ache for acceptance, for companionship that matched my own.
I saw love.
“You dinnae—”
Willow rubbed the side of her neck. “Irvine, I’ve only known you a few days, but my whole life has changed because of you. Everything that you’ve done for me has been out of kindness, and I can see now that you genuinely regret this thing. I’m a little freaked out by it, that’s true, especially considering what it means, but I’d rather deal with that by your side than alone.”
I shook my head. “I dinnae deserve this.”
She laughed, a beautiful sound that lifted my heart. “Maybe not, but I think … I think I do.”
“You deserve everything in the world that is wonderful and good, Willow Summers.”
“Well then …” She grinned, and rubbed her neck again. “This mark, is it a domination thing?”
I shook my head. “I would nae seek to dominate you, Willow Summers. If anything, it’s you who dominates my heart. In the shifter world, giving the mark is a bit like giving a beautiful gift, or an—” I stopped just short of saying engagement ring.
Willow gave a faint smile, as though she’d guessed what I had been about to say. “Then I accept your gift, Irvine.”
“You mean it?”
“I’m learning that part of being out in the world means accepting everything.” Willow held out her arms again. “Because of you, I’ve started to accept who I am. It’s only fair that I accept you as you are.”
“You really mean it?”
She nodded. “Now get over here and make love to me, mate.”
“Your wish is my command.” I tore across the room and crashed into the bed beside her, my lips finding hers and kissing her with renewed intensity. The world faded away – all that existed was me and my mate and the connection that bound us.
21
Willow
“You just want the roots touched up?” the hairdresser asked me, as she ran her fingers through my freshly shampooed hair. Her name was Nellie, but I wasn’t going to remember that after I left this salon, because I wasn’t going to come back.
“Yes please, and try to match the colour as close as possible.”
“Sure thing, sugar.”
I took a magazine from the pile beside the chair and flicked through it, not registering a single word. My stomach tightened with guilt as Nellie divided my hair into sections and started to brush the dye onto my roots.
I’d been back to a salon every two weeks since I’d arrived in Crookshollow, to get my blonde roots re-dyed. I needed to keep up my disguise, which meant travelling several miles to visit different salons just in case someone in Crookshollow happened to recognise me.
Today’s salon was in Crooks Worthy. I’d managed to fit the appointment in between a couple of meetings with suppliers for Alex’s wedding. I was supposed to be focused on sourcing the perfect lighting for the reception, as well as getting the sound system organised. Instead, I was here, reading centuries-old issues of Cleo magazine and getting my disguise updated.
The pack have been so kind to me, welcoming me to their world and treating me like a true friend. And I’m deceiving them all. Alex and Elinor and Bianca and Caleb and Irvine … sweet, gorgeous Irvine …
The guilt flooded me as Irvine’s face flashed in my mind. I saw the way he looked at me when I accepted the mark, his eyes dancing with joy. I felt his lips against mine, kissing away my problems. I heard his voice, reminding me that he would protect me, at any cost.
Even when he gave me that mark, he was honourable. He had the strength to come forward and admit that he’d done wrong. He was prepared to walk away, to undo what he’d done. Apart from that one slip, he always put me first. Always.
And I still haven’t told him who I really am.
He says my name all the time, like it’s a mantra, like it’s a magical spell that cures all his pain. What would he do if he discovered that name doesn’t even belong to me?
The stupid thing was, I loved being Willow Summers. I felt more like myself when I was her than I’d ever felt as Carol.
But the fact that I was sitting in this chair, blotting over the regrowing blonde in my roots, proved that it was a lie. Willow wasn’t real. I’d constructed her as a wall to hide behind. And in doing so, I’d trapped myself in my own lie.
What am I going to do?
22
Irvine
One month later
I handed Willow a cup of tea as soon as she walked through the cabin door. Her whole face lit up, telling me that the tea was very much needed. Seeing how happy she was to see me filled me with the kind of joy that only seemed possible on hair commercials.
The joy was tinged with an edge of sadness. Even though we’d been seeing each other nearly every day for the past month, and even though she’d accepted the mark and was even calling me her mate, I wasn’t any closer to getting Willow to believe that shifters should be able to be free in the world. I’d tried twice more to get her to open up about why she couldn’t live in a world where shifters were free, but she refused to talk.
I was also pissing off Caleb. Over the last few weeks he’d made all sorts of plans and forged new relationships with shifter packs across the world. And I’d been there for none of it. The guilt of my lack of involvement had crept up on me slowly, but every time I saw Willow, all other thoughts fled me head. It didn’t help that she didn’t ken and wouldn’t agree with what we were doing.
Even though Willow brought me endless joy, the mission and my lack of attention to it weighed on me more and more. I ken we were fast approaching the time when we would have to act. And I’d have to choose – Willow, or the shifters.
I didn’t ken which I’d choose.
“This Raynard wedding is insane,” Willow said as she kicked off her shoes and came to peer over my shoulder. A strand of her wavy brown hair fell against my skin, sending a jolt of energy across my flesh. “There’s so much to organise, and the date’s coming up fast. I’m lucky I have a fe
w vendors down in London who owe me favours, because pulling this thing off is going to be tight. What smells so delicious?” She peered over my shoulder as I stirred the sauce.
“Passata. It’s an Italian meatball dish.”
“I see cheese.” Willow lifted the lid on the bubbling sauce. Her hands snaked along my arms, over my shoulder. The force of our connection tugged at me, and it was everything I could do to keep a hold of my spatula and not throw her against the wall and take her there and then. “I’m sold. Can I help with anything?”
“You can sit over there and look beautiful.”
She plonked herself down in the edge of the bed. “I’ll give it my best shot. Irvine?”
“That’s my name.” I stirred another handful of grated parmesan into the roux.
“I’m not wearing any underwear.”
That did it. I dropped the spatula, crossed the room in two strides, and wrapped Willow in my arms. Our lips smashed together, and her tongue thrust itself into my mouth.
You’re weak, Irvine. My father’s voice thumped against my ears. You’re neglecting your own pack for this woman who doesn’t truly accept what you are. Your weakness will cost you everything you’ve worked for.
Stay out of this, old man, I shouted at myself. She needs me. The shifters have Caleb. He’s doing a better job than I could ever do.
Yet one more thing for me to feel guilty about.
I pressed my lips to Willow’s, hoping to drive out my guilt with the warmth of her desire. Willow rose up to meet me, her kiss as aggressive as mine, her tongue forcing itself deep inside my mouth.
As long as my secrets stayed secret, and I kept her safe from any possible threat, then maybe … her lips are like heaven … maybe I could hold on to what we had, just for a bit longer … so soft, so succulent …
“The passata will burn,” Willow whispered against my lips.
Wedding the Wolf: A wolf shifter paranormal romance Page 14