Irvine’s face twisted. “You won’t forgive me? You won’t give me a chance to explain?”
“I’m not in the habit of forgiving murderers.”
Irvine’s whole body stiffened. “You spoke to the boy,” he whispered.
“His name is Lachlan, and he told me everything – how you tore out his father’s throat right in front of him. It’s true, isn’t it? You’re not denying it.”
“Aye.” His head hung down. Even though he towered over me, he suddenly seemed terribly small. “It’s true. I lost control. I did a terrible thing.”
“Then we have nothing more to say to each other. I thought you were different, but all along, you were the biggest monster of them all.”
Irvine spun on his heel, heading for the door. His hand grabbed the frame, and he looked back over his shoulder, his eyes flashing. “Before I go, can you answer one last question? If I were to give you the one thing you thought you could never have – a father who loved and cared for you – would you give me a chance then?”
“No.” I turned away, so he wouldn’t see the tears running down my cheeks. “Now go.”
After a few moments of tense silence, the door to my flat slammed shut, and footsteps sounded on the stairs. I collapsed onto the bed, my whole body shaking as my tears stained the expensive samples.
39
Irvine
Shite.
I sat on a bench in Fauntelroy Park, staring at a picturesque pond surrounded by ancient oaks and flowering bushes and filled with paddling ducks. I hated everything about it.
My chest tightened. I’d really lost Willow. All that hope I’d had when I was back in London disappeared in a cloud of resignation. The one woman in all of the world who got me, and I’d lost her. And it was my own fault.
I was a fool for not understanding before. Willow lied, but not because she was working for her mother. It was because she was scared. She didn’t want to go back to being the victim. She wanted to keep her new life, and that life could have included me if I hadn’t been so desperate to believe the worst of her. If I hadn’t kept my own secrets.
I should have told her about the guilt swallowing me up. She might have understood why it was so important that shifters be out in the open. But either way, I’d owed it to her to lay it out, and I didn’t, and now it was too late.
I didn’t think anything could salvage our relationship now, and I didn’t even want to. Even though my body burned for hers with a fire so fierce it scorched my skin, I ken that I was no good for her. All I did was hurt her. I had one thing left that could give her happiness, and I would make sure it happened, and then I would leave her alone forever.
Caleb could have his victory, his empire of shifters. I would leave my pack in his capable hands, and walk deep into the forest and never come back. If I found a place far away from humans, I could never again risk causing all this hurt.
My phone rang. I ignored it, continuing to stare out at the ducks. The ring stopped, and immediately started again.
“Your phone’s ringing, man,” a father called out to me as he ran past after his daughter.
“Aye,” I muttered. I noticed Richard coming down the path toward me, dressed in a new set of jeans and a shirt I’d lent him. In his human form, I could see the family resemblance. Willow had inherited his soulful eyes and expressive features, but his hair was brown, and I now ken that her’s was not. Richard sat down beside me.
The phone continued to buzz in my pocket. Sighing, I pulled it out. Caleb’s face flashed on the screen. I turned the phone off and slid it back into my pocket.
“I hope that Lowe of yours knows what he’s doing,” Richard said.
“Caleb is a good man. I have faith in his judgement.”
“Do you? He may be the most righteous man on earth, but what about those around him? What about the allies he’s made, and continues to make? What about the shifters that will scurry to him in order to claw their way to the top? That kind of power will attract many people who are not trustworthy.”
I hadn’t told Richard that the ring was fake. “We’ll have to take our chances. Caleb needs the ring in order to seize power and make the government listen to him.”
“And you expect him to just put it down after he’s subdued the government?”
“I do.” Especially considering it doesn’t wield any power. “I dinnae want to talk about it anymore. What are you here for? I told you to stay at the cabin.” I’d got another of Margaret’s cabins for Richard, so that I could keep an eye on him and make sure that Willow didn’t see him before she was ready.
Thinking back to how cold she was back at her flat, I wasn’t certain she’d ever be ready.
“I couldn’t stay there. The walls were closing in on me. I’m used to having an entire subway and sewer network to explore.”
“Then go run in the forest, or roll around in a pile of shit. I dinnae care. She’s really upset, and if she sees you with me and figures out who you are—”
“Did you talk to her?” Richard’s whole face lit up. “What did she say?”
I looked away. “That she nae wants to see me again.”
“I thought you said you were her friend.”
“I was. But now I’m not,” I growled.
Richard rubbed his balding head. “And you’re just giving up?”
“What choice do I have? She doesnae want me. And I cannae blame her.” I buried my face in my hands. The two men who had hurt Willow the most sat together in the park, wallowing in their own guilt and regret.
40
Willow
“Hi.” I waved at Simon as I grabbed stacks of samples from the car boot. “I know, I know, I’m ridiculously late. Something happened—”
A murdering werewolf broke into my house and I kissed him, to be precise.
“Miss Summers, Miss Kline has been trying to contact you.” Simon stood across the doorway, his wiry body blocking my entry. “She wanted to cancel today’s meeting.”
“She does? But there’s so much that has to be done.” The wedding was only a couple of weeks away, and we had to choose the napkins, and finalise the floral arrangements, and figure out the layout for the band. “Is something wrong?”
Simon’s face remained stony. “Miss Kline is feeling poorly. She’d like you to come back another day.”
Great. I knew what this was about. Irvine had got here first and told Alex I rejected him and now she hates me even more than she already did. I dropped a pile of samples on the steps in front of him, tossed my hair over my shoulder, and fixed him with what I hoped was an authoritative stare. “Fine. She doesn’t want to see me. That’s fine. Help me pick these up, won’t you?”
Simon hesitated, then crouched down and started carefully stacking napkins. “You really should be more careful—”
I whipped past him and dashed into the house, hobbling as fast as my prosthesis would carry me. Simon yelled behind me, but I disappeared down a hallway, and I knew that with my head start, he’d never be able to find me in that maze of a grand home.
Now all I had to do is figure out where the hell Alex was—
I heard a crash, and Alex screaming with rage. Ah, well at least she’ll be easy to find. I followed the sounds of stuff being thrown and smashed, until I reached a short hall I’d never seen before. I cringed as another heavy object crashed against a wall. Alex was really pissed.
Fear fluttered in my chest as I pushed open the door and stepped into an enormous space. My shoes clacked across a polished marble floor. I looked up, and up, and up, taking in the gilded carvings on the ceiling and paint-splattered marble columns. Natural light spilled into the room – if you could call it a room, “cavern” was certainly more accurate – from mullioned windows along either side, and a tall grand piano stood in the centre. It was also splattered with paint and covered with half-coloured canvases.
This is Alex and Ryan’s studio, I realised. I stepped back, feeling as though I’d intruded upon something priva
te.
But all thoughts of retreating fled when I saw Alex. She stood behind the piano, hurling canvases and pots of paint and even a giant easel at the wall. A pile of smashed items had gathered around her feet. As I watched in horror, she picked up a wood knife from on top of the piano, and stabbed it into a half-finished canvas hanging from the nearest easel.
“Alex!” I raced across the room as fast as I could, and clasped my hands over hers. Alex turned to me, fury in her eyes. She screeched, and tried to yank the knife away. It took all of my strength to pry her fingers off the handle. Finally, I freed three of her fingers, and the knife clattered to the floor.
Losing the knife seemed to deflate Alex. Her body sagged, and the rage fell away, replaced by a look of desperation. “I can’t—” she started, but her words dissolved into tears.
“Hey, hey, don’t worry.” I placed my arm under her shoulder, and led her to a bench under the window. Three canvases were set up nearby, with trays of paint still wet beneath them. Unlike Alex’s usual work, which was bright and carefree, these pieces were dark and abstract, with angry red and black slashes and blobs on stark white backgrounds. One of the canvases had also been slashed up. “Sit down. Tell me, what’s wrong? Is it … is it about me? Are you angry at me because I lied about who I was?”
Alex shook her head. “I don’t care,” she whispered.
You could’ve fooled me. “Then is it … about your baby?”
Alex howled. Tears splashed against my cardigan. Okay, so I’d hit the jackpot. She must’ve had her period again.
“It’s okay,” I said, patting her shoulder in a way I hoped was comforting. This was so far out of my realm of experience. I’d love to be a mother, but I was never going to find someone who wanted to have kids. The only person who I might’ve considered just turned out to be a murderer. “It will happen for you guys. You’re so young, I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you’ve got plenty of time. Maybe it’s just too much for you right now. You can pick things up again after the wedding—”
“Don’t even talk to me about the wedding,” Alex growled, her hands balled into fists.
“What’s happened? Is something to do with Ryan? Has he hurt you?” An image of Robbie shifting at Bianca’s wedding went through my head, followed by Irvine’s face twisted in rage as he looked over the body of Lachlan’s father. Fear clutched at my stomach. This is why you shouldn’t be involved with shifters. Sometimes they couldn’t control themselves. They could really hurt someone, even if they claimed to love them.
Alex laughed bitterly. “Ryan? Hurt me? I’d like to see him try.”
“Alex, I know that Ryan’s a shifter.” Alex stiffened. I pressed on. If he’s hurt her, then he’ll pay. I’ll make sure he pays. “I know that sometimes they can’t control themselves and—”
“Willow, stop. I know you think you know about shifters because of what your mother taught you, but you’ve got it all wrong.”
“So he’s not a shifter?”
“Ryan’s a shifter, all right. But he’s not a danger to me. He’s trying to keep me safe and do what’s right for shifters everywhere.” Alex sniffed. “Shifters live in secret, which means that they don’t have access to a lot of benefits us humans have. There’s no healthcare to deal with shifter problems. There aren’t many jobs that will allow them to take leave every full moon. A few lucky guys like Ryan find a way to make their own fortunes, but a lot of shifters turn to crime to survive. You know that if you’ve been seeing Irvine.”
“I don’t want to hear about the plan—”
“No.” Alex gripped my hand, her wide eyes imploring me. “Please, just listen. It’s getting worse and worse. One of our friends married a vampire, and their community has even greater problems, because of their extreme age. Ryan wants to change that. The whole pack does, especially now that they’re starting to have kids—” Her throat caught on the word kids. “There’s only one way to make things better for the next generation of shifters, and that’s to stop hiding in the shadows. It’s the right thing to do. It’s going to upset the world for a while, but in the end, it will make everyone’s lives better. If Ryan and I manage to have a cub, I want them to have every option in life—”
“If you agree, then what’s the problem? What could possibly have you so upset?”
Alex’s face screwed up again. Ugly, fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
“They want to do it at our wedding! They’re planning to reveal themselves as shifters in front of all the cameras and journalists who show up for the reception. Ryan told me today. He’s so excited. He loves the fact that he’s able to be a part of making this happen. But why did it have to be on my wedding day?”
My heart thudded. This was a nightmare. My worst nightmare come true. “That’s awful.”
Alex balled her hands into fists. “I mean, it’s not as if he spends the rest of his time risking his neck for them. Just the other month, he had to save Bianca from that knife-wielding maniac. Then there was that wedding where he rescued Belinda, and not to mention all the times he protected me. He spends all his time thinking about the future of shifters, of the good of the pack. But what about me? What about our future? Why couldn’t I have this one day where it just got to be about me and Ryan and not the damn pack?”
I stood up. “You’re damn right. You deserve your wedding day, and I’m going to make sure you have it.”
Alex blinked. “Why you?”
“I am your wedding planner, and it’s my job to make sure you have the wedding of your dreams. That means, no stains are going to mar your perfect dress, no photographer is going to shoot a bad angle, and no wolves are crashing the reception.”
“But how—”
“Don’t worry,” I growled, folding my arms across my chest. “I’ll find a way to sort this. Willow Summers will not take this lying down.”
41
Irvine
“Irvine, open up!”
Willow? I glanced up from the kitchen, where I was busy preparing a meal. Richard sat in the chair in front of my tiny stove, moving the logs around with the poker but not doing anything to actually make the fire burn better. I glared at him and gestured to the bed. He dived under the mattress, dragging his thick legs in after him.
How is she here? Why would she possibly come back? Does she want to forgive me? Could we really have a fresh start? A real future?
My heart surged. I pulled the door open and threw my arms wide. “You dinnae ken how much I prayed for this—”
Instead of falling to my arms, Willow shoved past me and slammed her purse down on the table. “Did you plan the grand reveal of shifters on Alex’s wedding day?”
“How do you ken about that?”
Willow’s eyes blazed. A vein in the side of her neck throbbed. I’d never seen her so angry before, not even earlier today, when she was tearing out my heart. She was usually so timid. Those fierce eyes were actually kind of hot. “Alex told me. I just came from Raynard Hall where she’s crying her eyes out because you bastards have ruined her wedding.”
“We haven’t ruined it at all. Ryan said it was fine. He said he’s talked to Alex and she’s happy with it.”
Willow’s eyes flashed. “I don’t care what Ryan said. He clearly doesn’t know his wife very well, if he thought she’d be happy having her wedding day turned into some kind of shifter political rally.”
I took the pasta off the stove. “It’s Ryan’s wedding, too.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Willow let out a strangled cry. “I can’t believe you support this, that you spearheaded this.”
“You can, too. You ken what I had to do to keep the shifter secret from the world. You want to ken why I am capable of murdering someone? You want to ken how I can even begin to live with the guilt of the terrible thing I’ve done? It’s because I had nae choice. If I didnae kill that guy, he would've told our secret, and maybe he wouldnae be believed, but what if he was? I had to protect my pack, protect my family …” I
balled my hands into fists. “I should have killed the boy, too, but I couldnae do it. He was so young, barely a teenager, and I thought if I spared him, no one would believe him. This is what the secrecy reduces us to – it makes murderers and criminals of men who only want to protect their families.”
“Irvine—” Willow’s voice cut in, but I pressed on.
“If I can save another generation of shifters from carrying this guilt, then I’m going to do whatever it takes to make that happen. I hate that doing it causes you pain, I hate it so much, but I cannae put one person before my entire race, even if I care more about that person than anyone else in the world.”
“But you—”
“Ryan believes the same thing, and he ken we needed a big event with lots of reporters, so he volunteered the wedding. It makes perfect sense. Ryan’s a beloved public figure, which means when he reveals what he is, people will trust him.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this, to me.”
“I donnae see why you’re so upset. Dinnae think these are your friends that you speak of. You betrayed us all by keeping your own secrets, Carol. We havenae ruined anything. They’ll have their beautiful ceremony, and the reception with the speeches and first dance and everything. We’ve let them have all that guff—”
“Guff is it? You’ve let them have it, have you? God forbid a person might want to actually enjoy their wedding day without a bunch of wolves stampeding everywhere, causing mass panic and injuring their guests—”
I held up my hands. “Whoa. Hold on a minute there, lass. No one’s getting injured. All we’re doing is transforming into our animals, and then transforming back. Yes, we expect a bit of panic, but Ryan’s made arrangements to deal with that, and—”
“What do you call this if not an injury!” Willow yelled, kicked out her prosthesis. Her leg sailed across the room and slammed into the wall. She planted both her hands on the table to keep herself upright. Tears streamed down her red, blotchy face. “Don’t you dare tell me you care about me, and then take away everything good in my life. Don’t try to tell me you can control yourself, because I know better than that. If my father can hurt his own daughter, then what are you lot going to do at a party full of strangers?”
Wedding the Wolf: A wolf shifter paranormal romance Page 23