I stood aside while she climbed into the SUV and cranked the engine, waiting until she’d backed out before heading to my car. Thankfully, I hadn’t parked too far away. Without Tatum’s presence pulling my thoughts in a million directions, my mind wandered back to what Kelsey had told her. For the life of me, I couldn’t fathom why she’d say any of that. Yes, I had been a bit of a player in high school, but it had been years since then, and I’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship.
I was on the brink of calling Kelsey and giving her a piece of my mind when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Ironically, Marlena’s name flashed across the screen. I answered, hoping I could gain some insight regarding Kelsey’s opinion.
“Guess who I just got off the phone with?” she asked, not even bothering to say hi.
“Well, I hope it was your sister, because I have a bone to pick with her.”
“No, it was Jen.” Hearing my ex’s name eliminated any thought I’d had about Kelsey and immediately killed my mood.
Jen and Marlena had formed a bond through me, even though they’d only met a few times. There was no way to know how often they’d spoken to one another, but it must have been enough that they’d become close over the years. I’d encouraged it at the time. Had I known just how hard this would be—going through a breakup when there were connections that extended beyond the two of us—I never would’ve introduced them.
“Why were you on the phone with her?” As much as I didn’t want to hear the answer to that, I wanted to know, which only made the ache in my chest spread wider.
“She sent me a text asking if I could talk. I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea, but then she said you refuse to answer her calls.”
That was true. Jen had tried a couple of times to get ahold of me, using the excuse that I had left things behind, but I’d never bothered to respond. I was still bitter over everything, and until I could let it go, I didn’t care to waste any more of my time, energy, or words on her. “There’s nothing left for me to say, so there’s no point in answering the phone.”
“She doesn’t have anyone to talk to, and apparently, you left without any warning.”
“Wait a minute.” I slid behind the steering wheel and started the car. “She’s trying to say I just up and left without telling her? You didn’t believe that, did you?”
“Not entirely.”
“Excuse me? You mean there was a part of you that thought she was telling the truth?”
“Considering you moved two months before you were supposed to, yeah.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My own cousin, the one person in my entire family who knew me the best, had taken my ex’s word over mine. “It wasn’t like I woke up one morning and decided I needed a change of scenery.”
This was the problem with a close family. I’d kept my mom in the loop regarding my move, and while I’d told Marlena when the decision had been made, I hadn’t filled her in on the two months of uncertainty. Mom had a bad habit of telling the world things I’d rather she kept to herself, yet for some reason, she’d decided not to share this with anyone—not even the rest of the family. And now, Marlena only had Jen’s side to go on.
“After Bill died, I wanted to be closer to my family, so Jen and I discussed the idea of moving. As in . . . I went to her about it before any decision had been made. We both agreed to relocate—it wasn’t just me. In fact, she seemed excited about it. The only thing she asked was that we give ourselves a few months to get our ducks in a row.”
“Well, according to her, you didn’t give her enough time. She said you got pissed and left without her because she couldn’t get everything done in the time frame you specified. Something about her not having a job in Langston?”
Jen was a showgirl, so she made a lot of money, and in her opinion, without a degree or experience, she wouldn’t find anything in Langston that paid as much. “Are you serious? That’s what she told you?”
“Don’t be mad at me, Jason. I’m only relaying what I’ve been told.” She was right; she didn’t deserve my anger. That should be reserved for Jen and the twist she’d added when recounting the events that had led to our breakup. But it was hard to keep a lid on it when Marlena was the one on the other end of the line.
“We decided to wait four months so she could save and pay off debt. Knowing that she’d likely have to take a cut in pay, we both agreed it made more sense for her to have her credit cards and whatnot paid off before the move. After looking at her finances—together, because this was a joint decision—she would’ve had it all taken care of and a decent amount in savings in four months. But apparently, that wasn’t long enough—despite how much money she made and how little debt she had.”
“I just feel bad, Jason.”
“Why? Tell me, Marlena, what more could I have done?”
“I don’t know. To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure why you left.”
I huffed as I pulled onto the main road and tried to regroup. It was hard to get my point across while only giving pieces of the story. So, I took a deep breath and readied myself to connect the dots for her. “When I first went to Jen with the idea of moving, had she shown any reluctance to leave or expressed any serious concern over quitting her job, I wouldn’t have left. I would’ve stayed in Vegas with her and tried to find more time to come down and visit. But that’s not what happened. Instead, she was on board from the get-go. I gave notice at my job, informed the family of our plans, and got the ball rolling with the move.”
“Okay, I get that part, but if she started to get cold feet, why decide to leave instead of work things out with her? It wasn’t too late, Jason. You could’ve rescinded your resignation and kept your job at the firm. And it’s not like you couldn’t have told us that you changed your mind. We wouldn’t have held it over your head.”
I dug my thumb into my temple, hoping the pressure would ward off the headache I felt coming on. “You’re right . . . I could’ve done all those things if she’d told me about her cold feet or change of heart. But she never did.”
“Then how’d you find out?”
“There were little things that I passed off, like her credit card not being paid off like she’d planned. But I didn’t think anything of it since she technically had three more months. Then there was something she said about a new show coming to the hotel at the end of summer. But again, it wasn’t enough to make me stop and question it. Tryouts going on during rehearsals didn’t mean anything—I assumed she mentioned it because they were disruptive or something. She came home with new shoes once, though that wasn’t unusual.”
A car cut me off, making me pause to pay attention to the road.
Once I could focus on what I was saying, I continued. “During all this, I had asked a few times about the move, making sure we were still on target for the end of summer and that her bills would be taken care of by then. Not once did she speak up, and I had given her plenty of opportunities to express any concern. But the one thing that made me stop and question her intentions was when I called the landlord to verify the end-of-lease agreement. I had discussed everything with him at the beginning—using our security deposit to cover one month’s rent and the last month already being covered when we had originally moved in. He told me that he would have to come out and inspect the house first, but it wouldn’t be a problem as long as there wasn’t any damage that he’d need the deposit for. I’d left that up to Jen, since she was home during the day.”
Just thinking about it made my blood boil.
“Come to find out, the inspection had never happened. He told me that Jen canceled it, saying we weren’t sure when we were moving and that she’d let him know when we had a date set. Which was bullshit, because we’d already set the date. When I asked her about that, she brushed it off, making it sound like it had been a misunderstanding, and said she’d take care of it.”
“And during all this, she didn’t even act like anything was wrong? Like show how nervous she w
as?”
“No. Not at all. That’s why I was so pissed when she finally admitted it.”
“And how’d that come about?”
“I asked to use her phone to pay rent because mine was on the charger in the room—the inspection never happened, so we couldn’t use the security deposit to cover that month. And while I was on her phone, a text came through. Normally, I wouldn’t have read it, but when I saw it mention the new show and her place in it, I couldn’t help myself.”
“Wait a minute—you mean to tell me she tried out, even though she knew it would start after she was supposed to move with you?”
“Yup. And when I questioned her, she said she hadn’t accepted the position yet.”
“Then why’d she try out?”
“Apparently she just wanted to see if she’d get it.”
Anytime I thought of Jen and how she had effectively stolen the future we’d planned together, my entire body ignited with the heat of seven hells. My cheeks flamed, my neck sweated, and my palms burned. Anger and betrayal churned inside until I was convinced the pain would suffocate me.
“That’s when I asked to see her credit card statements and savings account balance. If she truly intended to move with me, she would’ve been making payments and depositing money into her account. By this point, if she hadn’t done those things, there was no way she’d have it all taken care of in time.”
“Please don’t tell me she didn’t do any of it.”
“Okay . . . then I won’t tell you.” I turned on my blinker and waited for the light to change to green. “That’s when she started asking for more time. Reluctantly, I agreed and said I could push the move off one more month, but that was it. I had already trained the guy taking my place at the firm, so really, I wasn’t even needed at work anymore. All the accounts I’d been in charge of had been handed to the new person. One month without pay was about all I could offer.”
“And that wasn’t good enough for her?”
“Oh, it was. Until a week later, when I found a two-hundred-dollar pair of shoes in her trunk. Which, of course, she tried to say were old. Unfortunately for her, she left the receipt in the bag. That was when I gave up. It was clear she had no interest in coming with me, and by that point, I couldn’t change my mind and stay. I’d already given up my job—my position had been filled, so it was too late to ask for it back.”
Marlena was quiet for so long I wondered if my phone had dropped the call while I was heading over the bridge from Langston to Samson. Finally, she cleared her throat and said, “I think she realized the mistake she made and genuinely wants to fix it. She said she’s willing to move, but you won’t give her a chance to work it out.”
“If she wasn’t ready to do that three weeks ago, then she’s not ready to do it now. She just says she is to look good.”
“I doubt that, Jason. Why would she say it and not follow through?”
“Gee, I don’t know, Marlena. Why would a father tell his son that he would get him a plane ticket to spend the summer with him and then never do it? Why would he tell his son he’d have lunch with him at school while he was in town and then never show up? I’m well aware what it looks like when someone says one thing without any intention of following through with it.” I’d never shared with anyone how let down I’d been that day in second grade when I’d told my entire class that I was having lunch with my dad, only to eat alone at a picnic table near the playground. No kid deserved to experience that kind of rejection—by his own father, no less.
“That doesn’t mean Jen plans to screw you over, too.”
“I don’t give second chances, Marlena. And she knows it. I never have, and I never will. That’s how I’ve been since the day she met me, and no amount of groveling will change it. She’s always known that I’m more than willing to work something out . . . until the door closes. Once that happens, I’m done. She waited too long. Calling me after I move is like writing a check after your car gets repossessed—pointless and a waste of time.”
“I get that, but it’s not like she cheated on you. This is totally fixable.”
I gripped the steering wheel, anger over her comment rolling through me without a viable outlet. “Why must infidelity be the only form of deception? Just because she didn’t sleep with anyone else doesn’t negate the fact that she betrayed me.”
“I don’t know, Jason. I guess I’m the fool who believes if you love someone, you fight for them.”
“It’s just how I am. How I feel about someone doesn’t change that.”
She was silent for a moment, though I could tell she had more to say. “She misses you.”
And there it was. The punch in my gut; the knife in my chest.
That didn’t warrant a response. So instead, I asked, “Is that all she had to say?”
A long sigh drifted through the line. “Basically. She more than likely thought I could get you to change your mind. But now that you’ve told me your side, I won’t answer any more of her calls. And I don’t think Kelsey has ever spoken to her, so you don’t have anything to worry about there.”
“Speaking of Kelsey . . .” The sky decided right then and there to open up, the downpour making it difficult to see the car in front of me. But that didn’t stop me from seeking the answer I needed. “Any clue why she’d tell people I’m a womanizer?”
Marlena laughed; at least one of us found this funny. “Maybe because you used to be one?”
“I don’t see how that has any bearing on who I am now.”
“It shouldn’t, but you also have to remember who we’re talking about here. She had to grow up listening to my friends bitch about you. At least two of them lost their virginity to you, and the rest were just tallies in your playbook. Not to mention, you guys haven’t been very close throughout the years. So it would be easy for her to assume you haven’t changed. Think about it . . . when I talk about Connor, do you picture him the way he looks now or as the baby he used to be?”
She had a point. Anytime she spoke of her son, I imagined an infant crawling with only two teeth in his head, not the rambunctious four-year-old who liked to growl at people for no reason. And had I not been around Lizzie, her two-year-old, for the last couple of weeks, I wouldn’t have been able to picture her at all.
“My advice is to spend more time with her.” Marlena never needed an invitation to offer her opinion on something. “She’s older now, so I’m sure you guys will find lots of ways to bond.”
She hadn’t said the words, but this was her way of passing the torch. While Marlena and I had always been close, now we were in two very different places in our lives. At this point, Kelsey and I might be on more common ground instead.
And if it kept her from tainting Tatum’s opinion of me, then I’d spend every second with my youngest cousin whether I enjoyed her company or not. I’d prove her wrong if it was the last thing I did.
4
Tatum
Michael waltzed into the kitchen and went straight to Rebecca. I hated the way he leaned over her shoulder while she worked, whispering into her ear so no one could hear their conversation. It’s what he used to do to me, so I knew the kinds of things he’d murmur. That being said, they were never dirty or even sweet, romantic remarks. In fact, most of the time, he’d simply made comments about whatever was in the pan in front of me. How it smelled, the color of the sauce, or that he wanted me to make it for him on the next night we had off together.
Just thinking about it left a tickle at the base of my spine, as if I could still feel his fingertips grazing my lower back while the heat of his minty breath toyed with the spot just below my ear. I could practically hear him tell me how much he loved to watch me cook—he’d likened it to art on many occasions.
However, Rebecca created desserts. I could only imagine the things he whispered to her about the frosting or filling . . . or cherries. And I didn’t care to find out what kind of “art” he compared her cakes to. The thought alone sickened me.
Aft
er months of not being with him and weeks of seeing the two of them together in the kitchen, it shouldn’t have bothered me—I should’ve been used to it by now. But I wasn’t. And I began to worry I never would.
He turned away from her with a smile on his face. I used to swoon at the sight of it; now it left me drowning in a pool of mixed feelings. A man who could look at another woman with the same expression he used to give me wasn’t someone I should want. I wasn’t sure why I still did.
“How are things with the new boyfriend?” He might have sauntered over to me, kept his head down like he’d done over Rebecca’s shoulder, and lowered his voice to what resembled a husky growl—which I took as restrained jealousy—but he didn’t look at me. Nor did he stand too close. Instead, he leaned against the end of my station, where I kept my dry ingredients, and eyed the ramekins used for spices.
“I take it Rebecca told you?” I tried to keep the nerves out of my voice, though I doubted I succeeded. If anything, Michael had always been able to read me—even when no one else could.
“Yeah, she mentioned it last night.”
I wasn’t sure if he’d worded it that way on purpose—to let me know they had been together last night—or if it had been an oversight. There were many things Michael did that didn’t make much sense. Such as leave me alone at my own birthday dinner. And the more I tried to understand him, the less I comprehended. I tried to look busy by reaching in front of him to grab a spatula I didn’t need, and being the graceful person that I was, I knocked over a set of wooden spoons and about seven plates.
Michael saved the plates at the same time I reached for the spoons. I glanced around, hoping I hadn’t drawn too much attention to myself, and then groaned as everyone in the kitchen had their eyes on me.
Once we had everything put back in place, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist to hold me still. I stared at his hand for a moment. At first, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he used to touch me, the feel of his skin on mine, or how I used to believe he never wanted to let me go. But then I remembered that he used those same hands to touch another woman.
The (Half) Truth Page 5