“Are you ever going to tell me why everyone thinks the show was canceled because of filming issues?” He drew invisible lines along my bare breasts with his fingertip.
Rolling my eyes was a wasted effort, though I did it anyway. I lay on my back, facing the ceiling, while Jay stretched out along the side of my body with his head on my shoulder—and his attention on my chest, hence the reason for the wasted effort. At least this way, I didn’t have to watch him study my boobs, and while he had his fun, I ran my fingers through his soft hair.
“It’s seriously not a big deal, Jay.”
“Exactly, so you should just tell me.”
I sighed, giving up the fight, and I could practically feel his smile against my skin. “Think about it. What would be the only reason I have to keep it from them?”
“You mean aside from embarrassment and inside jokes you aren’t a part of? Or gag gifts every Christmas to remind you of it?”
“Yes, Jay. Aside from all that.”
His body shook with silent laughter. “Umm . . . you’re afraid they’ll think you might burn down their kitchen?”
“Yup.”
He pushed up on his elbow and stared deep into my eyes. “Seriously? My family would never do that; you know that, right?”
I closed my eyes, unable to handle the heat of his gaze. And when I opened them again, I set my sights on the ceiling over his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter, okay? Can we please drop it? You got your answer, so there’s no reason to beat this into the ground. I didn’t lie.”
“No, but at some point, you should start trusting the people around you to give you the benefit of the doubt.”
Brushing that comment off, I asked, “Why did you turn the scribbles in my notebook into a printed cookbook?”
“You’ve said before that you could never write one. Well, now you have one, and you wrote it. I just wanted you to see that you shouldn’t limit yourself. Sure, the TV idea burned to the ground, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t half a dozen other options out there.”
“I feel like you hate that I work at a restaurant so you’re trying to get me out.”
He shifted his body over mine, removing any possibility for me to look somewhere else. “No, that’s not it at all. I don’t care where you work, just as long as you aren’t trapping yourself in a box. I’d love nothing more than for you to find your own light to shine in. Even if it’s a food cart on the side of the road, just as long as it makes you happy.”
I locked him between my legs. “You make me happy.”
Fun fact: Distractions were designed as weapons for women.
EPILOGUE
Tatum
“I think you should wear the black shirt. It makes you look more sophisticated.” Kelsey reclined on the bed while watching me change outfits for the hundredth time, my official cookbook in her hands.
“It shows too much cleavage. I’m not sure how that makes me look sophisticated.”
“Eh, who cares. I’m sure Jason will love it.”
“He loves anything I wear. I could literally be in sweats and a two-day-old tee, and he’d rip it off me. I’m starting to think he’ll never get tired of having sex with me—not that I’m complaining or anything.”
Kelsey jumped off the bed. Usually, she only moved that fast when she saw a spider. She glanced between me and the comforter a few times, lip curled in disgust. “You could’ve warned me before I climbed on your bed. That’s gross.”
I laughed at her exaggeration. This was one of the things I missed about living with her. “You don’t have anything to worry about. Jay washes the sheets once a week, so you’re good.” I didn’t bother telling her it had been days since he’d thrown them in the washer, and we’d had sex several times since then.
Rather than climb back onto the mattress, she settled onto the floor next to the bed and waited for me to pick a shirt and put it on. “It would be nice if you could keep in mind that he’s my cousin. Now hurry and get dressed. We don’t have all day.”
Not long after Jason and I had worked things out, I’d taken the plunge and left Fathom 216. It hadn’t been an easy decision on my part, although Jason didn’t think it should’ve been such a difficult choice. He’d hated the idea of me seeing Michael almost every day, and as much as I’d understood his concern, I hadn’t been willing to give up the idea of sous chef so easily.
However, having my own cookbook had made it a lot easier.
A cookbook I wouldn’t have had if it weren’t for Jason.
“Can you and my cousin hurry up and have a baby already so my mom will get off my case about feeding into her infant obsession?” She mindlessly flipped through the pages, even though she’d gone through them a million times already.
“No. We’ve only been together for four months.”
“So?” Her eyes met mine while I slipped on a green sweater, the same color as Jason’s eyes. “You’re all perfect for each other and shit. I’m honestly surprised you’re not already knocked up, as much as you two get it on.”
“Stop rushing it, Kels,” I droned while moving into the bathroom to apply my makeup.
“I’m not. You do live together, so it’s not out of the question. You guys have said the L word, right?” When her question was met with silence, she rushed into the doorway at the pace of a cheetah. “You’ve told him you love him, right?”
It probably didn’t make sense to her, much like I doubted it made sense to anyone else, but Jay understood. And that was all I cared about. “You know how much I hate that word. It doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t need to hear him say it to know he feels it, and vice versa.”
She stared at me in the mirror, her expression showing exactly what I’d expected her response to be. At least she didn’t voice it. Instead, she rolled her eyes and slipped back into the bedroom. “Hurry up. You can’t be late to your own party.”
“It’s not a party,” I argued over my shoulder.
“Tatum, it’s your birthday, and my whole family will be there. What would you call it?”
“Uh, a typical Sunday?”
“Well, we’re celebrating. So not exactly typical.”
I rolled my eyes and continued to put on my makeup.
Prior to my decision to hang up my chef’s coat for a pen, a spiral notebook, and many nights of trial-and-error recipes, Jason had put out feelers for the cookbook and had run the numbers. I’d told him I wouldn’t go into it blind, so he made sure I would have an audience. Surprisingly, there was a big market out there for what I had to offer—make do with what you have in your fridge.
The Petersons had wanted to host a prelaunch party full of dishes I’d created for my first official book—not the same one Jason had lovingly titled Burnin’ Down the Kitchen. I just hadn’t expected them to choose my birthday to do it. My only stipulation was that this would be about the book, not my birthday. I even made Jason promise, since his family seemed to have minds of their own.
Less than twenty minutes later, I was dressed and ready to go.
Jason had offered to pick up the box of special-edition cookbooks from the printer and run a few errands for his mom, so Kelsey drove me. To be honest, he’d more than likely wanted to give me time with my best friend, knowing he’d have me all to himself once we left.
By the time we pulled into the driveway, there were cars everywhere. This was supposed to be a small gathering—like a typical Sunday lunch, regardless of what Kelsey had said. Panic consumed me, and I couldn’t pull in enough air. “Who are all these people?”
“Oh, just a few friends. Amanda, Carrie, Rebecca. No one special.” Kelsey’s hazel eyes lit up when she turned to me, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she had up her sleeve. “Ready?”
“What am I walking into, Kelsey?”
“How would I know? I’ve been with you all morning.”
She had a point there, though I still didn’t believe her. “Just tell me now. It’s never a good idea to throw me into a situation unprepar
ed. You can attest to that more than anyone. So if you know something, now’s the time to come clean.”
She flicked her eyes to the front door, and being the best friend that she was, she caved like a twig beneath a pair of boots. “Fine. But you have to act surprised.”
My heart sped up, though it didn’t stop me from saying, “Deal.”
“And you can’t let anyone know that I told you.”
“If you don’t spit it out, you won’t be alive long enough to tell anyone anything.”
She didn’t appreciate my threat. Thankfully, that didn’t stop her from giving me what I’d asked for. “They got you a cake with a picture of your cookbook on it.”
I glared at her. “That’s it?”
“I’m glad I told you. Now you can work on showing a bit of gratitude.” She opened her door and stepped out, then waited for me around the front of the car. I was too nervous to question why she walked behind me to the front door, or why she let me enter first.
But as soon as I stepped inside and saw Jason, everything else vanished.
His smile was enough to eradicate every last worry I had over the extra cars and my birthday. It was also enough to remind me just how lucky I was. I stepped closer, ready for him to take my face and kiss me the way he always did, but before I made it to him, movement in the hallway caught my attention.
I turned just as a gaggle of bodies swarmed me. Jason’s family smiled with excitement in their eyes. Behind them were three girls I’d never expected to become close with yet couldn’t imagine my life without—Carrie, Amanda, and Rebecca. And once they’d finished crowding around me, my heart nearly beat out of my chest.
My parents.
And Tanner.
I was too stunned to do more than stand there while they kissed my cheek and wished me a happy birthday, much like last year. After glancing down the hall to verify there weren’t any more surprises, I returned my attention to Jason. His smile told me everything—this was all his doing. My family being here had been his idea, and I couldn’t have been filled with more love than I was in this moment.
Rushing to him, I threw my arms around his neck, brought my mouth to his, and melted into his embrace.
“This reminds me of the first time you hugged me,” he teased, releasing his hold on me long enough to see my face. “Best day of my life.”
“You make me happy,” I whispered. “So happy.”
He brought his lips closer to mine and breathed out, “I love you, Tatum.”
I froze, yet he refused to let me shut down. Cradling my face, he held my gaze. And in his eyes, I saw my future—not the past.
“I’m not him. And while I understand why you don’t want to hear those words, I can’t hold them in any longer. Yes, you make me happy. And I’ll always tell you that. But it’s more than happiness I feel for you, Tatum. It’s love. I love you more than I ever thought I could.”
He’d uttered the one word I hated, the one word that had once brought me unimaginable pain. Pain I never wanted to feel again. But with our families around us, I stood in his arms, in his embrace, and the past vanished. The pain dissipated. The fears drifted away until I was only left with . . .
“I love you, too, Jay.” He leaned forward, and I closed my eyes, expecting another kiss. Yet I got nothing but air. What was even more odd was the complete silence that entombed the room. And when I slowly lifted my lids, my hand flew to my mouth, not quite fast enough to catch the gasp that rang out.
In front of me, on his knee, was Jason. And in his hand was the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen. So beautiful, in fact, tears immediately sprang to my eyes. I couldn’t see him past the blur of happiness, though I heard him loud and clear when he said, “Tatum Alexander, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” I whispered, and then cleared the emotion from my throat before shouting, “Yes!”
As he slipped the shiny ring on my finger, I wiped my eyes so I could admire it. There, on my left hand, as if that was where it’d always belonged, sat a heart-shaped piece of recycled glass set in sterling silver.
“We can pick something out together. I just wanted to put a ring on your finger when I asked you to be my wife.”
“No, this is perfect, Jay. I don’t want anything else.”
“Oh good!” His mom clapped with excitement and added, “This deserves cake!”
“Ma, we haven’t eaten yet.”
“Exactly. Which is why we should go eat some cake.” She disappeared down the hall, and one by one, the entire crowd followed.
Holding on to Jason’s arm, I kept him back until we were the last two in the room. “Where are my parents and Tanner staying while they’re here?”
“They reserved rooms at a hotel.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I tried to get them to stay at our house, but they decided to give us some space. I know you would’ve rather had them stay with us, and I swear, babe . . . I tried. They refused.”
I doubted my smile could get any bigger. “Did Tanner’s family not want to come?”
“Oh, they did. But since they’ll all be here later this year, he decided to save the money.”
“Later this year?”
His gaze bathed me with love when he said, “Yeah, for our wedding.”
“I love you, Jay.” That had to be the most truthful thing I’d ever uttered.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Kevin: There’s no way I would be doing this if I didn’t have you on my side. You’ve been my biggest cheerleader, my biggest supporter, my shoulder to lean on and ear to listen, and without you, I would have never made it this far. I love you more, and will continue to love you more every day.
My girls: Let’s get a pool.
My family: I know I haven’t seen you much, but I love you. Your support means the world to me!
Stephie: You’re my woobie, my person, the other half of my brain. As lame as it sounds, I don’t think I could function without you. I would seriously be lost.
Kristie: I’m thankful every day that you agreed to be best friends! Probably the best decision you ever made—HA!
Amanda: Let’s do this thing!!
Crystal: We’re not going to date ourselves by talking about how long we’ve been friends. Instead, let’s just say I can’t remember life without you, and I can’t imagine the rest of it spent without your friendship. Love you, Best Friend!!
Angela: You’ve saved my sanity more than you’ll ever know!
Megan: I don’t think I’ll ever understand what made you email me and give me this opportunity, but I’m beyond thankful for you and the entire Montlake team!! Thank you so much for seeing something in me!
Krista: Thank you so much for making this book better! Your insight has been invaluable!
Kristie: While I enjoy our FaceTime calls, I still think it’d be better if you lived closer! Two hours away is too far!!
Emily: Thank you for putting up with my crap! I’m sure the PR community, as a whole, thanks you, too. LOL! You’ve saved them from having to deal with me!
Readers: I wouldn’t be here without you! At the end of the day, you are the reason I get to live out my dream!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Leddy Harper had to use her imagination often as a child: she grew up the only girl in a family full of boys. At fourteen, she decided to use that imagination to write her first book, and she never stopped. She often calls writing her therapy, using it to deal with issues through the eyes of her characters.
Harper is now a mother of three girls, making her husband the only man in a house full of females. She published her first book to encourage her children to go after whatever they want, to inspire them to love what they do and do it well, and to teach them what it means to overcome their fears. You can learn more about Harper at www.leddyharper.com or find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Leddy.Harper.
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