by Seven Steps
Please God, don’t let me leave.
“So,” Jasmine said. Her voice had a lyrical accent that made me jealous. It gave her an exoticness that I could never possess. “You and Jake going out tonight?”
I inwardly groaned. Was Jake expecting me to go out with him after school hours, other than on the dinner date he mentioned? Hopefully not. It amazed me how fast my opinion of him changed. Ten minutes with him and I was irreparably turned off.
“Maybe. We haven’t made any solid plans.”
Those green specked, chocolate eyes gazed at me as if they knew secrets I didn’t know I had. Her mouth pulled down into a frown and she shrugged.
I crossed my arms. “What?”
She shrugged. “I would have thought that you’d be more excited. I mean, you’ve been talking about this guy for nearly three years and now you have him. Why aren’t you happy?”
My arms dropped. Was it that obvious?
“I’m happy,” I lied.
“You don’t look happy,” Jasmine said.
“That’s because I’m tired. Besides, people in relationships aren’t happy all of the time.”
“Yes, but I don’t think the honeymoon phase has a twenty-four hour expiration date.”
I waved her away, trying to inject some faux happiness in to my face.
Ariel turned back to Jasmine, a warm smile on her face.
“Leave her alone. She’s probably just nervous.”
“Shouldn’t she be glowing? She’s not glowing.”
Ariel laughed. “She’s not pregnant!”
“Not that kind of glow. The glow of a woman who’s found love.”
“You read too many romance novels,” Ariel said with a snort.
Jasmine clasped her hands together, a serene smile on her face. “I call them instructional manuals,” Jasmine said, her voice dreamy.
“Instructions on what?” I asked. “How to throw yourself dramatically on a bed and sob?”
“If necessary,” Jasmine replied with a smile.
“You two are crazy,” Ariel said. “You should be more like me.”
“Hoarders?” Jasmine asked.
Ariel shook her head. “No. Practical. And I told you that my things are collector’s items.”
Jasmine caught my eye, giving me a yeah right look. Ariel’s room was filled with old cork screws, smoking pipes and intricately designed forks. She was one candlestick away from a televised intervention.
“Beanie babies are collector’s items,” Jasmine argued. “You are more like an unpaid recycling center.”
“As opposed to the animal rescue center that you live in?” Ariel said. “With your millions of birds and your crazy giant, biting cat that hates me.”
“I only have twenty-three birds,” Jasmine corrected. “And my cat does not bite. She nibbles.”
“My tetanus shot says different,” Ariel said.
We walked down the stairs to the subway. The smell of urine and steam immediately assaulted my senses.
“That settles it,” I said, trying not to gag on the strong smell. Ariel and Jasmine didn’t seem to notice it. “We are going to meet at my house tonight to study. No recyclables-”
“Collectors’ items.” Ariel said.
“And no petting zoos.”
“A Savannah F-1 cat and enough birds to feed said cat.”
“So, that’s why you keep so many birds!” Ariel cried.
Jasmine shrugged. “He’s huge! What else are we supposed to feed him? Kibbles and bits?”
“You two,” I laughed, “are impossible.”
“So says the new Queen of St. Mary’s Academy,” Jasmine said as we stood on the train platform. She gave me a fake bow. “All hail the queen.”
We all giggled, nearly falling over as we stepped on to the train.
I wondered what school would be like today. Jake didn’t text me to tell me what the plan was and I didn’t text him either. Now that I thought about it, we didn’t have each other’s phone numbers, so texting was impossible. This wasn’t a well thought out plan. It was a web of lies that we were going to get caught in.
Jasmine had already sensed that something was off. Would she question Jake? If he thought I wasn’t playing the role, would he tell Ariel what I’d had done? Why did I agree to play this game of his?
Jasmine gave a conspirator’s grin to Ariel. She gave it back.
“Since no one else has the guts to, I’m just going to ask it,” she said. “Are the rumors true? Is he an amazing kisser?”
I wasn’t exactly a kissing connoisseur. I’d only kissed two boys in my life.
I looked down at my shoes. “It was okay. Kind of short, but okay.”
“Just okay?” Ariel pressed.
I made a face. “It was only our first kiss and I was nervous.”
“That bad, huh?” Jasmine asked, taking my hand. “You know, I hear it takes a while for a couple to get used to each other. To see what each other likes and to work on it. Maybe that’s what’s going on with you and Jake?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Did you read that in one of your romance novels?”
She shrugged. “Romance. Dr. Phil. Does it matter?” She put her hand on my shoulder and pinned me with a serious expression, like she was a wise old grandmother or something. “The point is that it’s good advice. Keep working on it and it will get better.”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes, my cheeks growing hot. I had no plans to work on kissing Jake.
The train roared in to the station, blessedly halting our conversation. The truth was, Jake was handsome and a decent kisser, but he was also rude and condescending. Plus, our relationship wasn’t real. There was nothing to work on. Nothing to perfect. I doubt he’d even kiss me again, and I was one hundred percent okay with that.
The three of us stepped on to the train and squeezed in to a seat that was only big enough for two people. We giggled as we tried and failed to maneuver our way into a position that was close to comfort.
To my left, a dark head wrapped in an even darker zip up hoodie caught my eye.
Cole.
What was he doing on this train? I always assumed he drove to school with his brother and sister.
“Don’t stare,” Jasmine whispered in to my ear. I turned to her grinning face, my cheeks heating up again.
“I’m not staring,” I argued.
“You were,” she said with a knowing look.
I rolled my eyes. Cole was my nemesis. I would only stare at him if I had laser beams instead of eyeballs and could set him on fire.
The train came to a stop and we maneuvered out of the too tight seat in the most hilarious way possible. Finally free, we stood, smoothed down our clothes, and walked out of the subway car.
“We’re going to get bagels,” Jasmine said. “You want one?”
I shook my head. I had a half-eaten apple in my bag already. Besides, with my father losing his job, I’d have to watch every penny.
“No thanks. You go ahead.”
They nodded, moving against the crowd to a breakfast stand toward the end of the platform.
I stood a little away from the wall, waiting for them.
Across the tracks, a heap of darkly colored clothes moved. At first, I thought it was a trash bag, but on further inspection, it was a person. I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman, but I did notice the white of its eyes, and the two fingers that it held up.
The peace sign.
The person was as still as a statue, fingers in the air, not moving.
What was that person’s life like? I wondered. What path had they taken to end up living in a subway? Was this where mine and my father’s lives were heading?
I shook the thought from my head. I would not think about Daddy and his lost jobs today.
A flash of black rushed past me.
“Cole?”
He stopped his march toward the outside and turned to look at me.
“What?!”
The look he gave me made my he
art speed up and my stomach clench. It was hostile and furious.
I took a step back.
“Nothing.”
He glared at me for a moment more before he took off again, jogging up the stairs in to the sunshine.
What happened to Cole since yesterday? Why did he look at me as if he wanted me to burst into flames? The teasing was one thing, but this was something else. Something darker. We’d been frustrated and irritated with each other, but never openly hostile. What was his problem?
I put my hand over my heart to stop its reckless beating.
“That looked intense,” Ariel said, chewing on a small piece of bagel. “What did he want?”
I shrugged, hoping the movement would seem nonchalant.
“Just saying hi. Or not saying hi, I guess.”
I shook my head. If anyone was furious, it should have been me. Cole had been the one who teased and prodded me all day. What did I ever do to him?
“Are you guys still studying at your place tonight?” Ariel asked.
“Yeah. I think so.”
If he didn’t kill me with an axe first.
Ariel nodded thoughtfully. “Okay. Call me if you need me to come over if, you know, whatever.”
“Whatever?” I asked. “So, you’re going to fight him off if he attacks me or something?”
“I’ll hit him with a right and a left, New York style.” She smiled at me.
I smiled back.
Jasmine jogged up to me, one tea and one coffee in her hands. She handed me the coffee. I hadn’t asked for it, but it was exactly what I needed. Jasmine was awesome like that.
“Hurry up. We’re going to be late!” she called, her backpack bouncing against her back as she fled toward the stairs.
Ariel and I looked at each other and ran to catch up.
19
The second we made it back to street level, my phone buzzed. I pulled the Daisy Duck case from my pocket and looked at the screen. It was a Facebook message. Someone wanted to be friends. Curious, I typed in my passcode and looked at my friend request screen. Jake’s profile picture looked back at me.
A friend request? What did that mean? Dana wouldn’t see our conversations. She and I weren’t friends on Facebook. What could he want?
I accepted his request and noticed that I had a new message. I clicked that, too. It was also from Jake.
Jake: Why don’t I have your phone number? Meet me in front of Ms. Davis’s class before first period. Don’t be late.
I bit my inner cheek, feeling used. I turned to Ariel, but her face was in her phone, her smile bright.
Jasmine caught my eye.
“Ariel and Eric sitting in a tree. K I S-”
Ariel shushed her and looked around.
“What are you shushing me for? If it was me, I would be sitting on the roof of his car right now.”
“We’re trying to keep it light,” Ariel hissed. “We don’t want any gossip like-”
She looked at me and her mouth clicked shut.
“Like me,” I said, hurt spearing through me. “You don’t want to become a spectacle like me?”
She sighed.
“Me and Eric are just friends right now, and I don’t want to ruin that,” she said. “That’s all.”
I wanted to tell her that my spectacle was the reason why her and Eric were friends. I wanted to tell her that this was her chance to see if it was real or not and that in two weeks, she may discover that Eric wasn’t the dream boat she’d thought he was, just as I’d discovered with Jake.
But I didn’t say any of those things. Instead, I hugged my heavy bag to my chest.
“I have to meet Jake,” I said. “I’ll see you guys later.”
“Bella, wait-”
I didn’t turn around. Instead, I walked in to school and down the hallway to Ms. Davis’s class.
“Hey, Bella.” I looked up at the mention of my name. Claire Thomas made eye contact with me, smiled and waved. I awkwardly waved back. Claire Thomas was a cheerleader, which meant that she would never demean herself to speak to me.
“Hey, Bella.” Jeffrey Wolowitz, or Wally as he was known around school, nodded and waved at me, too.
“Hey, B. What’s up?”
“Bella French!”
“Oh my god. I love your dress!”
“Your hair looks awesome today, Bella!”
Students who’d never looked at me before now knew my name. Kids on student council, cheerleaders, jocks. Suddenly, I existed to them. Suddenly, I was no longer invisible.
My heart sped up in excitement and joy. I adjusted my walk, swinging my hips like I’d seen Dana do. Casually flipping my curls over one shoulder, I waved to my very new, very adoring public. By the time Mrs. Davis’s class came in to view, I was on cloud nine, my confidence through the roof.
Being popular was already turning out to be pretty amazing!
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another student approach Kenny with something in his hand. It looked like a wad of money. Kenny took the money from him, pushed off a locker, and the two of them walked further down the hall.
An odd sense of doom washed over me, but when I saw Jake leaning confidently against the wall, waiting for me, that all went out the window. He was absolutely gorgeous this morning in his football jersey, jeans and high-topped sneakers. His blond hair was purposefully messy and his skin without a blemish. He gave me an easy smile and held out his hand. I took it. His gaze caressed mine and for a moment, I forgot that this was fake. I forgot that we were making Dana jealous. I even forgot that I was supposed to hate him after the way he’d treated me yesterday. In this moment, it was just him and me, those beautiful eyes, and the memories of fantasies, wishes and dreams.
“Hi,” Jake said, pulling me close and placing my hand on his shoulder.
I gave him my best smile. He leaned in for a kiss, but at the last second, I turned my cheek. His shoulders tightened beneath my fingers.
“What was that about?” he asked, his tone low enough for only me to hear. He pretended to nuzzle my neck, but I could sense the tension in his large body.
“No kissing on the lips.”
“Why not?”
Because I don’t kiss fake boyfriends, I wanted to say. But I didn’t.
“I just don’t want to,” I replied.
“You wanted to yesterday.”
“You caught me off guard yesterday.”
“So?”
“So, this isn’t real.” And I don’t want to get any more confused than I already am, I silently added. “Let’s keep it on the cheek, okay?”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not kissing my girlfriend on the cheek like some loser.”
“I reserve my lips for real boyfriends. You know, ones who remember my name and that I go to this school?”
He let out a hot breath against my neck. I cringed.
“Fine,” he said. “I’ll let it slide for now.”
That statement was like cold water dumped on my head. For now? What did that mean? What was Jake planning? I got the feeling that, whatever it was, I was not going to like it.
“Anyway,” he said. “we have to exchange numbers. I am not going to be Facebook messaging you all the time.”
He placed one hand on my hip and maneuvered me so my back was pressed against the locker.
I kept my smile in place and peeked over his tall shoulder.
Sure enough, Dana was glaring at us. No. Not us. At me.
But why would her anger be directed at me? Where was her new boyfriend?
“Is she looking?” Jake pressed.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Is she pissed?” he asked.
“Super.”
“Excellent.”
The first period bell rang and he gave me a peck on the cheek. His lips moved from my cheek to my ear.
“For now,” he said. There was an undertone there that made my blood run cold.
Was that a threat? I wondered. No. It couldn’t be. Jake was a j
erk, but he wouldn’t threaten me.
“I’ll see you at lunch,” he said, stepping back and walking in to his classroom.
A shiver raced from my ear down to my toes.
He didn’t just threaten me, did he? Jake would never do something like that, would he?
I pulled on my book bag straps and started to walk back down the hallway to my first period class.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cole’s blue eyes examining me, his mouth in a hard line.
Just as the second chime of the bell rang, he was gone.
“Hey!” Ariel rounded a corner, sans bookbag. She waved at me, phone in hand. “I was just coming to find you. You have to see this text.”
“What text?” I danced in my shoes. If I was late for Art, Mr. Weathers was going to be pissed.
“From, well, you know.”
By the way her eyes widened, I knew immediately. It was a text from Eric. My curiosity got the best of me, and I stopped my power walk.
She squealed, her cheeks reddening in excitement as she handed me the phone.
I took it and read the message on the screen.
Eric: Guys wait their entire lives for girls like you.
Wow. Was he for real?
“Aw. He’s so sweet,” I said, handing the phone back to her. “He seems to really like you.” I smiled to hide my confusion.
“I know, right! I really hope that I don’t mess this up.”
Impossible.
I placed my hand on her shoulder.
“If he really likes you and you really like him, there is no way that you could mess this up.”
Her smile brightened.
“Really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
She threw her arms around me, almost knocking me backward.
“This is like some sort of weird, beautiful dream. I don’t know how it happened, but I definitely do not want to wake up.” She pulled away, her cheeks reddening in happiness. “Now go to class before you get a tardy.”
It was too late for that, but maybe I could get Mr. Weathers to let me slide this once.
“I’ll see you in second period,” I said.
“See you.”
I jogged to my first period art class. Half of my mind was trying to figure out how I was going to get out of this tardy. The other half of me was happy that my friend was happy.