by Seven Steps
I couldn’t believe it. Russian drug cartels. Yakov Sokolov. This had to be some sort of mistake.
“This is nuts,” Daddy whispered. “St. Mary’s Academy is a good school with good kids. Plus, it costs a fortune. How could this happen? The mayor’s niece goes there. Senator’s kids. Children of actors and musicians. These kids have their own private yachts. How could they be involved in a drug ring?”
“Sir, this school’s drug problem is a very small part of a very large picture.”
I stared at the pictures of three people who I thought I knew.
How could they hide something like this? How could no one else know?
“I know that it’s a shock,” Detective Harding continued. “But I need you to tell me if you’ve seen anything suspicious with your boyfriend. Any car rides to strange areas? Picking up large packages? Multiple cell phones? Unexplained behavior? Anything?”
I looked at my wringing hands. On the way back from the boutique, Jake made a detour to a small warehouse near the docks. He backed his red Ferrari in, and someone came and loaded some boxes in the trunk. The men wore ski masks. When I asked about it, Jake said that it would just take a minute and then we’d leave. When I asked again, he told me to just relax.
My eyes opened wide. Had I witnessed a drug pickup? Was this the sort of things that Detective Harding was talking about?
“Have you seen anything at all?” the detective prodded.
I needed time to think. To weigh out the consequences. After all, it wasn’t just Jake I had to think about. It was Cole and Regina, too. Would the information that I passed along to Detective Harding affect them in some way? What about Eric? After all, he was Jake’s best friend. And if it affected Eric, then it affected Ariel and I couldn’t have that.
I had to think this through. There was too much at stake.
“Nothing comes to mind,” I finally said.
The detective and my father frowned at each other.
“You know that if you withhold any information from this investigation, you may be liable as an accomplice.”
An image of me in an orange jump suit came to my mind. I pushed the image away. I wasn’t really withholding information. Just verifying that it was valid. That wasn’t a crime, was it? Besides, I wanted to see what Cole knew about his brother. Regina was a lost cause but Cole may be able to tell me something useful. Plus, it would give me a chance to make sure that he wasn’t in on it. We were enemies but right now, Cole was the only Winsted that I didn’t want to see in jail.
“I understand,” I said.
Detective Harding didn’t look convinced. Neither did my father. But what could they do? I wasn’t talking.
The detective handed me a card and I took it.
“Take your time and when you are ready, call me. I’ll be in touch.”
The man stood and walked out of the door, leaving Dad and I alone.
The door had only just shut when Daddy put both hands on my shoulders, squeezing them hard.
“Bella, what have you gotten yourself in to?”
“Dad, he asked me out and I said yes. I didn’t know he was part of a drug cartel.”
“Didn’t know or didn’t want to know?”
He walked over to my room and flung open the door. Bags and boxes filled with clothes that Jake had gotten me from the boutique covered the floor. They must’ve delivered them when I was at school.
I bit my lower lip.
“How do you explain all of these purchases? Did they just appear out of thin air?”
The sheer amount of stuff that I now owned overwhelmed me. I took a step into my room, not believing that I’d gotten an entirely new wardrobe in only a few hours.
“Jake took me shopping,” I said softly.
“That’s more than a shopping trip. That’s the whole store.”
“I told him it was too much but he wouldn’t listen.”
“And when did this happen?”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Today.”
“Today? You mean you cut school?”
Oops.
“Unbelievable. What has gotten in to you? Dating the son of a drug lord, cutting school, expensive gifts, new hair, new jewelry, new clothes.”
“Dad, it’s not like I asked for any of this.”
“Good. That will make it easier to take it all back.”
“Take it back? What do you mean take it back?”
He waved his hand at the bags. “All of it. I want all these gifts out of my house and I want your word that you are officially breaking up with this Jake boy and staying away from him.”
“Dad, I can’t do that.”
“You can and you will. What if you get hurt? Or get mixed up in his life? You could get addicted to drugs. Or worse, you could get yourself killed.”
He let out a harsh breath and ran his hands through his hair.
“I sent you to a good school so that you wouldn’t get in any trouble and now look at you. My god! If I wanted this, I would have sent you to public school!”
“Dad, would you just-”
“No buts. The clothes, the jewelry, the boy. They all go. Understand?”
He looked at his watch.
“Oh God. I’m late!” He powerwalked to the door. “I told my boss that I had a family emergency and that I’d be back in an hour.”
“When are you going to be home?”
“Around six or so. Stay out of trouble. And remember, it all goes.”
The door slammed shut behind Daddy, leaving me in a room where my breathing echoed against the walls.
My heart raced. My stomach flipped. Jake’s father was a drug lord. I was Jake’s girlfriend. The cops wanted me to gather information about Jake.
What would they do if I said no? Would they put me in prison? What if Jake found out what I was doing? Would he turn me over to his father? Would he shoot me himself?
A knock on the door made me jump a foot in the air like a cat who’d just seen a cucumber. My heart ended up somewhere in my throat, my stomach somewhere in my shoes.
Another knock.
Who could it be?
Daddy was gone. Had he forgotten his keys? Was it Detective Harding, coming back to ask me some more questions? Or worse, take me to jail as an accomplice?
A third knock.
“Who’s there?” I called out.
“Who else would come by this dump after school unless they absolutely had to?”
Cole.
I ran to the door and opened it.
His eyes raked over mine, his teasing smile turning to a frown of concern.
“What happened?” he asked. He looked around the apartment. “Is someone in here?”
I shook my head and waved him in. “No.”
“What’s the matter? You look like you just had to castrate your cat.”
“I don’t have a cat.”
“I know that. It was a joke.”
I shook my head. “Sorry. I’m not in a joking mood right now.”
I walked away from him and sat on the couch.
“That’s not fair. If I have to be in a good mood then you have to be in a good mood, too. That was the agreement.” He walked behind me, and sat on the middle cushion.
“Whatever.”
I grabbed the leash and went on the hunt for Mojo. I found him laying on top of a pink sweater inside of a bag. I put the leash on him and pulled it a little. He didn’t budge. I sighed and picked him up, rushing from the room.
“Where are you going?” Cole asked.
“We are taking Mojo for a walk.”
“We?”
I turned to him, dog in one hand, my other hand on my hip.
“Let’s go, Winsted. We have a dog to walk.”
Cole let out a breath and stood, following me out of the door.
After what I’d just heard, there was no way that I was leaving Cole—No. Kolenka—alone in my house. Who knew what he’d do? We didn’t have anything to steal but I still felt better with one
eye on him.
We walked down the humid staircase in silence, then broke out in to the cool November sunshine. I walked as quickly as I could to Mojo’s favorite tree. My heels made my arches hurt. I longed for my sneakers.
“Why are you carrying the dog?” Cole asked, slowing down his walk to a stroll. I matched his pace.
“He doesn’t walk for me.”
“What do you mean he doesn’t walk for you?”
“He doesn’t walk on the leash for me.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. He just likes me carrying him, I guess.”
Cole laughed shortly. “No man wants a woman to carry him.”
“Apparently, it’s different with dogs.”
Cole reached out his hand to Mojo.
“May I?”
I shrugged and put Mojo in Cole’s arms. He bent down and placed Mojo on the cement. And of course, the dog walked in front of him like he’d been doing it all his life.
“I’m beginning to think that the dog is sexist,” I said. “He only walks for men. Not for me.”
Cole shrugged. “Nah. It’s all about confidence. If your body language tells the dog that you’re the boss, he’ll do what you want him to do.”
“How do you do that?” I asked.
“Easy.” He pulled in a breath, dramatically pressing back his shoulders.
“Shoulders back. Relax. Easy strides. Confidence. When you’re walking, there shouldn’t be any doubt in your mind that the dog is going to follow what you say.”
“Uh, what do you think I’ve been doing?”
“You’ve been hesitating. Like you do with everything.”
I snorted. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re not sure of yourself.”
What? That was totally off base.
“I’m sure of myself.”
“No. You’re not. You run every major decision past your friends first, don’t you?”
“Not all. Some.”
“Most.”
I frowned.
“Maybe with the important ones, because that’s what people do. They discuss important decisions with people they care about to make sure that it’s the right one.” Then just because he’d aggravated me, I added, “We can’t all be lone geniuses like you.”
“Who said that I’m alone?”
“Uh, because you are. You’re never with anyone else.”
He looked at me as if I were telling a very funny joke.
“So, you don’t know any of my friends?”
“No one does because you don’t have any.”
His smile widened and he shook his head.
“Poor French. Can’t you see anything passed my brother’s very large head?”
“Oh believe me, I see plenty past him.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Trouble in paradise already?”
“No,” I said, a little too quickly. I cleared my throat. “It’s just…” It’s just what? I had no idea what I was about to say. I didn’t even like his brother. I crossed my arms and examined the tree that Mojo was presently pooping behind. “Whatever.”
But Cole was insistent.
“What do you see in him?” he asked. The tease in his voice was less now. “Besides the looks, the money and the popularity, I mean. What do you really see in him?”
The edges of my mouth pulled into a frown. The truth was that I didn’t have an answer to his question. At first, I liked Jake because he was good looking. But now that I was getting to know what a manipulative jerk he was, I didn’t like him at all. Not that I could tell Cole any of that because I was supposed to be his brother’s girlfriend.
I cleared my throat, and bounced nervously on one hip.
“Lots of things,” I finally replied.
Cole took a step forward.
“Name one.”
I scowled and uncrossed my arms.
It was then that Mojo blessedly reappeared, giving me something else to look at besides Cole or the sidewalk.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” I said, yanking the dog’s leash from Cole’s hand and storming away.
God, Cole got under my skin like no one else. After years of being invisible, I wasn’t used to people seeing beyond what I wanted them to see. Sure, Ariel and Jasmine knew me pretty well, but Cole seemed determined to pull back each of my carefully crafted layers until he exposed me. The real me. The thought of anyone seeing that part of myself was terrifying.
I increased my pace.
Cole must’ve gotten the hint that I no longer wanted to talk about Jake, because he silently followed me all the way back to the apartment. I let us in and took a moment to refill Mojo’s food and water dishes before I sat down again. The minute my butt hit the couch, his inquisition continued.
“Where did you go this afternoon?” he asked.
“Go?”
“Yes. Go. You weren’t in English, you weren’t in the hallway or at lunch and you definitely weren’t there for French tutoring, which was a bummer because I had some real zingers about your new look that I wanted to tell you.”
“Like what?” I asked.
He looked at me from top to bottom. My cheeks turned hot beneath his gaze.
“You look good, French,” he said softly. “Nice, even.”
My throat tightened. I could only croak back.
“Was that a compliment?”
His eyes never left mine. He didn’t respond. Only nodded a bit. Such a small nod. A whisper of movement.
Then, something strange happened. Goosebumps broke out all over my body. A weird, unfocused feeling took over me, like I couldn’t think straight. My gut twisted. It was like a bright, consuming spotlight had just turned on. I bit my lip, trying to refocus on… On what? On Cole? It had to be because my eyes refused to leave his.
“French.” He placed his thumb and forefinger on my chin.
Vaguely, in my peripheral self, I was aware how close Cole was. How his fingertips felt on my skin. How his blue eyes were still locked on my brown ones. On how alone we were.
I breathed him in, an intoxicating mixture of vanilla, spice and soap. It wasn’t an overpowering smell. It was light. Airy. Nice.
My breath caught in my throat as I examined the face of my nemesis. For the first time, I noticed how handsome he was. His strong nose. His full, very kissable lips. His smooth skin. How could I not have realized it before? He was beautiful, dark and, suddenly, so very tempting.
My goosebumps got goosebumps. Heat sprouted from where his fingers touched my chin.
To my surprise, my body leaned toward him. His grip on my chin strengthened, pulling me closer.
My chest heaved.
I closed my eyes.
I pursed my lips.
Then, his phone rang.
We froze. We were so close to each other. It would only take another inch and our lips would have pressed together.
The ferocity with which I craved that inch stole my breath away.
The phone rang again.
His hand dropped from my chin.
It took all I had not to pull it back. Not to pull him toward me.
A third ring.
I hated that phone.
His eyes stayed on me as he sat up. There was sadness in them. Sadness and anxiousness, and something else. Something that made my heart thump hard and my mouth go dry.
He grabbed his phone from his pocket and glanced at it. His expression turned angry.
“I have to go,” he whispered.
“Why?” I asked. “What is it?”
“Not what. Who. It’s Jake.”
My heart sped up. Had Jake seen us? Did he know what we were about to do?
I felt the loss of his heat as Cole backed away, reaching for his bookbag. I’d never been so cold. A gaping hole seemed to open in my chest wide enough for wind to howl through. I sat dumbly on the couch with my curious new feelings while Cole stood and walked to the door.
“Fren
ch,” he said. His hand was on the knob, his back was to me. “You’re my brother’s girlfriend,” he said, his voice choked. “I can’t-”
He couldn’t kiss me. It was against the rules. We were against the rules.
When had we become a we? Just this morning he was my nemesis and now we had almost kissed. What had happened between us? What had changed?
I closed my eyes and put one hand over my racing heart.
“I know.”
It was all I could say.
28
It was settled.
I’d signed up to enter the talent show. I had no idea what I was going to sing yet but I would do it. I would sing in front of an audience for the first time since Mom died.
The thought was both exciting and terrifying. After all, this was not a church. The people in this crowd wouldn’t cheer for me regardless of whether I was terrible or not. The kids at my school were brutal. I imagined them pelting me with tomatoes, the red pulpy insides soaking through my clothes.
I could not suck.
I clicked through my music collection, searching for a song to sing. I dragged each one that I liked into a folder labeled Talent Show. So far, I’d added Sussudio, Walking on Sunshine and, just because I was feeling super brave in that moment, Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mom always said that I sang with soul, so I started to look for more soulful music. Alicia Keyes. Amy Winehouse. I could probably struggle through Beyonce’s, If I Was a Boy, but it was too slow. I wanted something more upbeat and fun.
It’d never sang for a contest before. For the most part, it was just for fun. A way to say the words that I couldn’t say in my day to day life.
When I was mad, I screamed the lyrics to old rock songs. I loved the feeling of the artist’s anger in my mouth. I’d bellowed those songs until my face turned a shade of red as furious as my mood and when I was done, I’d lay sprawled and breathless on my floor, my demons purged. Old bands like Linkin Park and Metallica were great for angry days.
When I was sad, I sang the blues while lying in my bed, hugging an old pillow and wishing that I was old enough to drink whiskey just because it seemed appropriate to do so in that moment.