by Seven Steps
“What kind of business?”
“Important business.”
“With Kenny?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“I told you not to ask me those kinds of questions. They are none of your concern.”
“Aren’t they? What if I wanted something from you? Something that you’re selling.”
He laughed shortly. “You couldn’t handle what I have to sell.”
“And all these other kids can?”
“The cool ones can, yes.”
“Doesn’t being with you make me cool by association?”
“No. Just keep your head in your books and out of my business and we’ll be fine. What I have, you don’t need. It’s not for you.”
“Funny. Your sister said the same thing to me about you.”
“She was right.” Jake’s mask of charm fell. Dana must’ve disappeared. “Watch yourself, Bella. Don’t get too comfortable. You’re written in pencil. A place holder. Don’t get any ideas.”
He turned and walked away, again leaving me alone at the bar to slink back in to the shadows. Shadows that I knew that Kenny lurked in, too.
I didn’t like Jake but his words still stung. I leaned against the bar, trying to shake them off. This party, and Jake, sucked.
“You look like someone just peed in your favorite purse.”
Mel Pleasant sat on a bar stool next to me, her eyes roaming over the crowd.
“It feels like it,” I said, climbing on to a chair, too. I wondered if Cole was in the crowd with Stephanie. Was he dancing with her like he’d danced with me? Did he hold her like he held me? Did he sing to her like he’d sung to me?
“Life’s not turning out how you thought?” she asked.
I shook my head and clasped my hands in front of me.
“You thought that you were going to waltz in on Jake’s arm and be swept in to the sea of popularity and that doors would open and everyone would fall at your feet and all would be right with the world. It must suck to know that the more popular you are, the worse things are for you. You feel them staring at you in your sleep. Their judgements seep in to your skin. And when you fall apart, they all smile and applaud.”
She turned her head to look at me.
“I miss you at student guidance,” she said.
My eyes bugged out of my head. Mel missed me? She didn’t even look at me and she definitely didn’t listen to anything I had to say.
“I’ve, uh, been busy,” I replied. I raised my hand and signaled to the bartender for another water.
“Busy with Jake, huh?”
“Yeah.”
She shook her head. “That’s a shame. You were the only one who ever really listened to me. The only one who tried to give me good advice.” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Does that make me pathetic?”
“You called me Brenda,” I replied. “Every day when you left, you called me Brenda.”
Her eyes opened and she smiled as if I’d said something very funny.
“I knew your name, Bella,” she said. “It was just hard, you know. Everyone thought I had this perfect life and here I was taking advice from a girl who nobody even knew existed. You had your life together while mine was falling apart. It was hard to swallow.” She shook her head again. “I called you Brenda because I didn’t want to believe that I was taking advice from Bella French, school weirdo. I pretended that you were someone else. Brenda Keegan.”
“The senior?”
She shrugged. “I know. Lame, right?”
She laughed and took a sip from whatever was in her cup. It was brown and smelled strong.
“But why would you do that? You never took my advice.”
“That didn’t mean that it wasn’t good. At least you tried. None of my other friends knew what was going on in my life but you knew it all. And now, here you are with your clothes and your boys.” She downed the rest of her drink and grimaced. “Here is some good advice. Probably the only good advice that I’ve ever given anyone.” She put one hand on my shoulder. “Go back to being invisible. These people will kill your spirit and they won’t think twice.”
We looked at each other, Mel and I. After two years, we finally looked in to each other’s eyes and I was surprised to see so much pain in hers. She looked so worn out. Like a piece of old leather. Her appearance shocked me. What happened to her? Was this what popularity did to people? Would this happen to me, too?
Kenny Jennings came bounding up, looking like he’d drunk one too many cappuccinos. His body unnaturally bounced and shook, refusing to be still. It was like electric currents ran through him at odd intervals, jolting and stinging his bones.
He put his arm around Mel’s shoulder and took a deep sniff of her hair.
She looked sad. Defeated.
“Ready for some fun?” he asked.
The way he said it made my skin crawl. Why was Mel even talking to him? He was nothing but a drug dealing loser, and an unpopular one at that.
She worried her lower lip between her teeth and climbed down from her chair. I could tell that she didn’t want to go with him but she leaned into him anyway.
Something was wrong. Very wrong. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to go. That she could stay with me and we could go somewhere and talk.
But I didn’t.
I stood there, watching as Mel was led away by Kenny.
Halfway across the floor, she turned her head to me and mouthed words that made goosebumps break out across my back.
Don’t trust anyone.
42
I watched the door that Mel and Kenny went through like a hawk. I told myself that, at any minute, she’d walk back out. That she’d run through the door and far, far away from him. But I didn’t see her and I wasn’t sure if I should go after her.
What if I was reading the situation wrong? What if she wanted to go with Kenny?
Something told me that she didn’t want to do anything. A voice whispered that she had to go with him. But why? What could Kenny have that Mel needed that badly that she would follow him in to some, no doubt, creepy room?
I walked back to the booth that Ariel and Eric were sitting at and plopped down in a seat. Something didn’t feel right and I wasn’t sure what it was. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to convince myself that Mel was okay. That she was doing what she wanted to do.
“You okay?” Ariel asked, her eyebrows pressed into a frown. It was the first thing she’d said to me all night and my heart did a little leap of happiness. Eric’s arm was slung around Ariel’s shoulder. The two of them seemed pretty cozy.
“I’m fine,” I said. I sent her a look that said I was not fine. I could tell that she saw it because her frown deepened.
She opened her mouth to speak but Jake showed up, carrying a tray of four glasses.
“Ho ho! When did you become a waiter?” Eric asked.
“Just helping out,” he said. He slid a glass in front of me and sat in the chair next to me, cradling his own glass.
The glass smelled like beer and I wrinkled my nose.
“Relax,” he said, leaning in close. “It’s the crap non-alcoholic beer that they serve at these parties.”
“Yeah,” Eric said, shaking his head. “Super lame.”
I remembered Mel’s comment. Don’t trust anyone. Was she referring to Jake? I frowned into my drink. She hadn’t been drinking nonalcoholic beer. I was certain that she was half drunk when she spoke to me.
“Come on. Drink it,” he scoffed. “No girlfriend of mine would refuse a beer. Especially a nonalcoholic one.”
I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t his girlfriend but Ariel and Eric, who had already drank their supposedly nonalcoholic shots, were staring at me. I sniffed my drink.
I’d never liked the smell or taste of beer. I was sure that I wasn’t going to like the nonalcoholic kind, either. But with the three sets of eyes on me, I had no choice.
I gulped mine down, the sickening taste sliding over my tongue
. It tasted like bitterness and lemon. I suppressed a gag. How could people drink this stuff?
“Another round!” Eric cried, banging his hand on the table.
“None for me, thanks,” I said, waving my hand like I was shooing away a fly.
“Ah. Come on, babe,” Jake said. “Live a little!”
“No. I think I’m okay.”
Jake leaned in close, his lips touching my ear, one hand on my knee. I suppressed the urge to shake it off.
“I’ll tell you what. If you can out drink me, I’ll let you out of our little deal.”
My stomach clenched and my heart raced. I was only one drink away from being done with Jake Winsted forever. One drink away from getting my life back.
The words were out of my mouth in an instant.
“Deal,” I said.
Jake’s hand left my knee and he was gone, leaving a grinning Eric, a confused Ariel and me.
“What did he say to you?” Ariel asked.
What would it take to keep Ariel happy? Some bitter lemon beer? I’d drink a vat of it.
“He said that he was going to get some more drinks.”
Eric knocked on the table again, while Ariel threw her hands in the air with a hoot. I smiled, basking in the relief that was sure to come out of Jake’s new clause to our deal. I could outdrink Jake. I knew I could. I had more to lose than he did. More to gain, too.
Jake returned a minute later. He turned our chairs to face each other, a sly smile on his face. His top button was undone and he’d untucked his shirt. I saw the competitive edge in his eye. I knew that I would probably barf up the foul-tasting drink before the night was over. But I had to do this. I couldn’t fail.
He picked up the first glass.
“Ready,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “Set.”
“Go.”
I slung the first drink back and it burned down my throat.
Then the second. And a third.
I didn’t know what number Jake was at, but by the fourth, I was starting to feel dizzy.
Light headed. Swoony.
I was half way through my fifth glass before my empty stomach lurched and threatened.
“You call it?” Jake asked, his eyes still sharp.
I didn’t know if I nodded or not before I raced to the bathroom. I barely made it to the stall before all five glasses of my beer came up at once.
It tasted worse the second time.
Ariel came in to the stall after me, pulling my hair back from my face.
“Jeez, Bella. What was that about?”
My response was another round of vomiting.
When I had emptied my stomach, Ariel helped me to the sink and I rinsed out my mouth and washed my face. My makeup was ruined but I didn’t care. This night was a bust. I didn’t get anything concrete on Jake, Cole was still dancing somewhere with Stephanie and I had just thrown up.
Time to throw in the towel and beg Jake to take me home.
“Well, that was exciting,” Ariel said.
That wasn’t the word that I would use but my head was swimming too much to argue.
“Why did you do it?” she asked. “It’s not like you to take sucker bets.”
I shrugged. Apparently, I wasn’t yet sick enough to not lie.
“Jake asked me to do it and I did,” I said. “You can’t say no to Jake, right?”
She frowned.
“He likes you a lot, you know.” She pulled off another paper towel and dabbed at the wet spots of my face. “Eric told me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t like me all that much.”
She leveled me with a look.
“Bella, listen to yourself. Your boyfriend likes you. It’s time to stop trying to fight him off and start to embrace it. Jake Winsted was your dream and now that you have him, you won’t even let him kiss you.”
“Is that what Eric told you?”
She shrugged. “Amongst other things. Look, just give him a chance, okay? He’s a nice guy.”
She balled up the paper towel, threw it in the trash and put her hands on her hips.
“Promise me.”
“Promise you what?”
Why were there two of her all of a sudden?
“Promise me that you won’t dump him because you don’t think you’re good enough.”
“Good enough for Jake?”
“Yes, Bella; good enough for Jake. He likes you. You should be confident in that and not think that it’s all going to blow up in your face. He’s not like that. He’s a good guy. Everyone says so.”
My head was throbbing, my vision was blurring and my mouth tasted like vomit. I was in no mood for lectures. Especially on subjects that Ariel didn’t understand.
“I just want to go home.”
I pushed past her and stumbled through the door.
The music seemed ten times louder, shaking my heels. I moved forward and walked right in to a hard chest. Cole. His blue eyes were wide, his face full of concern.
“Bella, we have to talk.”
I didn’t want to talk to him. Especially with Stephanie lurking nearby.
“Leave me alone. Go back to your girlfriend,” I growled.
“Bella-”
“I said leave me alone, Cole!”
I stumbled away from him and directly in to the path of Stephanie, Ursula, Mel, and Dana.
Great.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.”
Stephanie’s voice lit a hatred in me that I hadn’t known I’d possessed. I felt like I was about to die and my vision was doubling but I managed to glare at both images of her. She’d never done anything mean to me but just the fact that she was Cole’s girlfriend made me want to punch her.
“Just leave me alone, Stephanie.”
“I am going to say this once. Stay away from Cole. He’s mine. Do you hear me? Mine!”
“I don’t want Cole. You can have him!”
“Good.”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to focus on her. For a split second, I saw her clearly. All traces of our brief friendship were gone. She was back to being what I had always known her to be. Evil.
I shuddered and my stomach lurched again.
“Oh,” she said. “And by the way…”
Someone shoved me from behind and I stumbled forward. Before I could regain my balance, I was shoved backward. The circle around me tightened. Ursula shoved me to Dana, who shoved me back to Stephanie. I felt like a hot potato, constantly caught and released.
My stomach churned in anger and my head hurt so much that I could barely see. I landed on Stephanie but before she could shove me forward again, I swung, my fist connecting with Ursula’s chin. There wasn’t much power in the punch but it was insulting enough.
All four girls descended on me, punching and kicking and scratching until I could only curl up into a ball while they pulled my hair and slammed their fists in to my back. I screamed but was sure that no one heard it over the loud music.
Then, the beating stopped.
I looked up.
The three girls had surrounded Ariel, backing her in to a corner. Then Eric was there, standing in front of Ariel and pointing at the door.
Stephanie reached up and slapped Eric hard across the face.
Ariel ran around Eric and hurled herself at Stephanie. The two girls fell to the floor, punching and scratching each other as they rolled on the ground.
Jake and Eric managed to part Ariel and Stephanie and pull them up.
I pressed my back to the bar, trying to hold down my churning stomach bile.
That was when the bouncer showed up.
43
Three hours later, I sat in the back of my father’s sedan as he drove me home.
I wished that he would yell at me. That he’d tell me what a terrible daughter I was. That he would ground me for life. Instead, there was only crushing silence.
It was the worst punishment of all.
By the time we arrived at our apartment, I was so on
edge that it felt like my chest was going to explode. Between the tension, the headache and the nausea, I was sure that I was going to die soon. I hoped that it happened before my father grounded me forever.
Dad walked in, threw his keys on the counter and massaged his temples.
“Daddy, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
He walked over to the couch and sat down, his fingers still on his temple.
I took off my shoes and sat next to him.
“Daddy, I-”
“Who are you?” he asked.
I frowned.
“Who are you?” he repeated.
I wasn’t sure that I understood the question so I said the simplest thing that I could think of,
“I’m Bella. Your daughter.”
“No.” Daddy sat back, and waved his hand in front of his face. “No. You can’t be, because I told my daughter that she couldn’t go to this party. And yet, here I am, picking up this girl who dresses different than my daughter, who has these different rich friends, who sneaks out of the house to get drunk, gets into a bar brawl, who lies and nearly gets arrested. If that jerk kid—Jake, is it—if his father didn’t call in a favor, I would have had to bail you out of jail. So no, you are not my daughter, because my daughter wouldn’t do such things.”
I’d never seen Daddy so angry. Then again, I’d never done anything like this before.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“Don’t Daddy me. Go to your room and get some sleep. Starting on Monday, you will be volunteering at the horse stables after school so that I can keep an eye on you.”
“What?”
“That’s right. Apparently, you like to sneak off. Let’s see if we can redirect that energy somewhere else.”
“But that’s not fair!”
“Let’s not talk about fair, Bella! Not when you still reek of beer. Now go to your room and try to stay there this time!”
I stood and walked barefoot to my room. I felt terrible. Worse than terrible. I had lied to my father and almost gotten arrested. Who was I? When had I become this person?
I showered and brushed away the taste of alcohol from my mouth. I still felt kind of dizzy, but apparently, three hours in a holding cell was great for sobering me up.