The Girl's Guide to (Man) Hunting

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The Girl's Guide to (Man) Hunting Page 5

by Jessica Clare


  In the distance, the blue team began to hike into the woods, angling away from the enormous wooden cabin that served as the lodge and headquarters. Dane turned back to his team, clapped his hands together once, and rocked on his heels. “Are we ready to begin?”

  She noticed he didn’t look over at her. Instead, he made eye contact with every man on their small team and then swung away before his gaze could reach hers. Miranda bristled at that, twisting the red bandana around her wrist. Plenty of time to win him over. Lots and lots of time to seduce him. She just needed to be patient.

  “I have a few rules before we move into the woods,” Dane began. His hands moved to his hips and he stood before them, legs apart and arms akimbo, larger than life. “For starters, this is not going to be an easy trip. We’re going to be doing a lot of hiking. Some swimming. We’re going to learn how to make traps and tie knots. We’re going to fish for our dinner and forage what we can’t find in the streams. We’re going to learn to build shelters and how to start and maintain a fire. It’s going to be very cold at night and very warm in the daytime. You’re going to sweat. You’re going to get dirty. And if you’re a little too fancy-pants for this sort of thing, it’s best that you leave now.”

  Miranda watched Dane curiously. Did he…did he just blush when he said the word fancy-pants? His gaze slid over to her, and then back away again, and she felt a surge of triumph.

  He was thinking about her panties. She let a smile curve her mouth. Well, now.

  “Most of all, we’re going to learn what it’s like to work as a team.” He turned to them and started to pass out PowerBars.

  Three were handed to Miranda, and she stared down at them, then at the canteen that was handed to her. It didn’t look like much water.

  “Those are all of the supplies you’re going to have this week,” Dane announced. “The first day’s meal and drinks are on me. The rest is up to you.”

  One person groaned. It might have been Pete.

  To Dane’s credit, he ignored it and continued speaking. “We’re going to assign partners for this week, and sometimes you and your buddy will pair up for challenges. Are you with me?” At their nods, he gestured. “Now, each of you pick a buddy and let’s get going.”

  Pete turned and gave Miranda a hopeful look.

  Well, why not. Miranda gave him a thumbs-up and an awkward smile in return. He looked the least woods-capable, and she could always hope he would bail early, leaving her with no choice but to buddy up with Dane.

  “All right,” Dane said when they were standing next to their partners. He pointed at the two older men that had teamed up. “George and Jamie will walk at the front of the line. We’re going to do this single file, since it makes things easiest. Next will be Steve and Will.” He gestured at the other male-male team, and then finally at her and Pete. “Pete and Miranda can take up the rear. Miranda, you in front of Pete, since that’s safest. Call out if you two start to get left behind.”

  “I know how to walk,” she said in a bristling tone, offended. God, the man really was a jerk. “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean that I’m incompetent.”

  “No, of course not,” Dane said. “You’re right. You take up the rear. Pete, you walk in front of Miranda.”

  Well, that wasn’t exactly better. She suspected that she was getting stuck with end-of-the-line duty so Dane wouldn’t have to look at her. Figured.

  “All right, let’s go.” Dane waved them forward and then turned, beginning to march through the trees. He pulled out a satellite phone, murmured something into it, and then shut it off.

  One by one, they fell into place behind him. Miranda picked up the rear, her light pack bouncing against her shoulders as they walked. The ground was uneven and a bit rocky in places, and pebbles scattered under their feet.

  “Now, one thing I should warn you guys about this ranch,” Dane said, glancing back at them as they walked. “Five years ago, this ranch was the biggest emu farm in the South before the owner died and the assets were sold off. The emu were moved to different breeders, but there’re one or two still trotting around on the property. Just warning you in case you run across one this week.”

  One of the businessmen—Miranda thought his name was Steve—stopped. “What the heck is an emu?”

  “Big, giant bird,” Dane said casually. “About five feet tall. Kind of like an ostrich, but with a nasty temper. Just be on the lookout.”

  “You mean to tell me that you’ve got overgrown birds out here?” Steve sputtered. “Are you even sure that’s safe?”

  “Not sure if it’s safe,” Dane drawled. “But there’s not a lot that’s ‘safe’ in the wild, if you catch my drift. You’re here to learn how to take care of yourself in the wilderness, and maybe that includes a lesson on emu-avoiding, maybe not.” His big shoulders braced and then he began to jog up an incline. “Come on, let’s pick up the pace. We’ve got a long way to go tonight before we hit the area I’ve designated for our camp.”

  They had no choice but to follow their leader. One by one, they followed Dane up the incline, Miranda’s sneakers sliding on the gravel a little.

  “You all right back there?” Dane called.

  “I’m fine,” Miranda called back, her tone a little strained. This was already getting tiresome—she could walk just as well as any of the men. “Don’t you worry about me.”

  “Oh, I won’t,” Dane called back. “Let’s go, men. And woman.”

  And with that, he began to jog into the woods.

  That day, Miranda began to have a reluctant appreciation for Dane’s athleticism. They jogged for a bit—mostly to get away from the headquarters cabin and into the wild. Once the lodge had been out of sight for about fifteen minutes, Dane slowed the group to a brisk hike. He led the way, climbing over rocks and brush like he was born to the wild.

  The rest of the team followed behind him, much slower and far clumsier. Two of the older businessmen were panting and frowning, but all kept up with their instructor as he skirted them up a dry creek bed, grasping tree roots for handholds. The others followed close behind, and when it came to Miranda’s turn, Pete offered a hand down to her.

  She ignored it and clambered up the side of the embankment on her own. “I’m fine, thanks.” Her voice was crisper than it needed to be, but she was getting irritated at him and it was only day one.

  And what a long day one it was. She was covered in sweat—they all were—and tendrils of her hair were sticking to her face, but she was keeping up with the men and that was just fine. Pete seemed to be struggling, his steps slowing as they hiked.

  As they walked, Dane began to chat with the students in his group, his voice casual. It had always been easy for Dane to make friends, Miranda remembered, and he seemed right in his element. The men told him about their jobs, their families, and previous hunting trips they’d been on.

  When it came to Pete’s turn, he immediately began to brag about his company. “I run Hazardous Waste Games. It’s a billion-dollar company—”

  Miranda rolled her eyes and tuned him out as he rattled on about shooters and gaming.

  “—but that’s me,” Pete eventually concluded with a grin. “Married to the job unless I can find the right woman to make a new man out of me.”

  He grinned back at Miranda, obviously thinking that his business assets made up for his lack of other assets.

  She made a face and hoped he couldn’t see it. His chalk-pale face was flushed a florid red, and his hair was stuck to his forehead. Big circular sweat stains had bloomed under his arms, and he was beginning to smell.

  He needed a woman to make a new man out of him? It sure as shit wasn’t going to be her.

  As if sensing her thoughts, Dane spoke. “What about you, Miss Hill?”

  She jerked, startled. “Oh, I’m not interested in finding a husband, thank you. I’m here to learn survival skills.”

  The men snickered.

  “I meant,” Dane said in a patient voice. “What abou
t you? Tell us about your family.”

  “You know my family, Dane Croft,” Miranda said. “My mother, Tanya, runs the local antiques store, and my daddy was a no-good trucker who only showed up every few years. I’m surprised you forgot.” Before he could reply to her jab, she hurried on. “But other than that, it’s just me. No husband, no kids.”

  Two and a half weeks and she’d be working at a massive corporation, doing what she was always meant to do.

  Everything between now and then wasn’t important. It was just finishing off the story of Old Miranda, the Boobs of Bluebonnet. Soon she’d just be a local legend.

  Her eyes narrowed at Dane’s back. A local legend with a really good ending, she decided.

  When the sun was high in the sky, the group made it to the area Dane had designated as the first campsite. The men grumbled and joked about how tired they were. Dane had half expected Miranda to complain, but she was the only one on his small team that took the rigorous exercise in stride. Her face was flushed and sweaty, but she remained strong and calm, and he was reassessing his initial thoughts about her. With those bright red bras and silky panties, Dane had thought she’d be a girly girl. Maybe not.

  He was sweating, too, his body aching in a good way at the exercise. The weather was perfect. Just cool enough to make the day pleasant, and warm enough to take the edge off of the night. He inhaled the fresh air and grinned to himself. He was enjoying the time in the woods, even if his team was not.

  But then again, it was his job to make them believers, and he had a week to do so. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket as they rested, mentally going over his notes. This week was more than just survival skills—it was about building teamwork.

  Dane was not exactly an expert on teamwork. He’d sucked at it in a jersey, and just because he had survival skills didn’t mean he could make people work together.

  Colt and Grant had insisted, though—corporate sponsors wanted practical applications for survival skills, and couching fire-making and shelter-building as team exercises was the way to do it. He’d have to go by their rules. On his crib sheet, he read Brenna’s flowery, bubbly handwriting, the I’s dotted with hearts. Blindfolds for team-building. Make them do tasks together. Rope challenges. Team challenge on day 3.

  Right.

  He turned to address his team. “We’re going to make camp here tonight. And as we set up the camp, I’m going to show you how to do the basics. I’ll build you a basic shelter and show you how to make fire and we’ll boil drinking water. Then I’m going to set snares and show you how to fish, and we’ll forage for what we can eat tonight.” All eyes were on him, their faces expectant. He continued. “And you’ll need to pay attention to these lessons, because tomorrow? It’s going to be on you guys to do it all yourselves. Understand?”

  They nodded.

  “This doesn’t seem like much of a team exercise,” the nerd with glasses complained. “It sounds like you’re just showing us stuff. How are we supposed to apply that to our lives in the corporate world?”

  His first nonbeliever. Grant had told him to prepare for this sort of thing. Didn’t make him have to like the guy, though. Dane put on his most charming smile and tried to recall the man’s name. He stared at him for a long moment.

  “We just got here, Pete,” Miranda murmured, shooting Dane a meaningful look. “I’m sure this all has a purpose.”

  Pete. He’d remember that now. “It does have a purpose,” Dane agreed. “Which I was just about to get to, if you’d give me a moment.” Though his words were harsh, he kept the smile on his face.

  “Sorry,” Pete said, but he wasn’t looking at Dane when he said it. His gaze was on sweaty, too-cute-for-this-trip Miranda, with her high-necked shirt that was sticking to her rather admirable cleavage and outlining it in a way that was far more blatant than a low neckline would have been.

  Concentrate, Dane. You’ve seen plenty of breasts in your life, and that particular pair is here specifically to distract you.

  Dane cleared his throat. “Like I was saying…this afternoon I will show you how to do six different skills. Each of you should pay attention, of course, but each of these skills will be the sole responsibility of one of you on the team. It will be your job to handle that particular chore for the group all week, and it will also be your job to show the others how to do your job. As you learn each other’s skills, you’ll see that all hands are needed to have a fully integrated campsite, just like a team. Understand?”

  “Yes,” they chorused back to him.

  “But first…we’re going to do a different kind of exercise,” Dane said.

  “Can we get something to drink first?” Pete piped up, an edge of a whine in his voice. “I’m freaking parched and I drank everything in my canteen already.”

  This was going to be a very long week with Pete around. “There’s a stream nearby,” he explained. “However, that stream is filled with bacteria. Any water you drink is going to have to be boiled first, unless you’d like to be on the receiving end of a nasty strain of giardia. And to boil water, what do we need first?”

  “A cooking pot?” Miranda said helpfully. It was the first statement she’d directed to him since they’d left the lodge area.

  “This week, you’ll be stringing your canteen on a tripod and boiling the water over the fire,” he said.

  Miranda gave him a slow smile, as if they were sharing a secret. “Fire, then. We need a fire first.”

  That husky, playful timbre in her voice jogged his memory, and he caught himself grinning at her despite himself. When she smiled, he couldn’t resist her. But he guessed that Grant and Colt knew that, too, and that was why they’d sent her on this trip.

  His friends needed to butt the hell out. His mood taking a sour turn once more, Dane gestured at the woods. “That’s right. First we need a fire, and to make a fire, we need wood. Since we are going to have a fire going all night, we’re going to need a lot of wood. And here’s how we’re going to get it.” He clasped his hands together again, and then gestured at each of the mini-teams. “The three pairs will split up and go in different directions. One of the partners will be blindfolded, using the team bandanas that we’ve provided for you. The other partner will be instructing you on where the wood is and guiding you without touching you. When your arms are full, you’ll return to camp, drop off your load, and then the blindfolded partners will switch. You’ll have equal time under the blindfold, and equal time to be the guide. Understand?”

  “How do we know we won’t get lost?” George said. “We don’t know our way around these woods.”

  Dane had been prepared for this, and he pulled out a package of wristbands from his backpack. “These are GPS trackers that emit an electronic signal. If you get lost, I can find you. No worries.”

  He passed them out to the teams and one by one, they strapped the GPS trackers on their wrists. As he handed Miranda hers, he noticed there was a tiny crease in her smooth brow, as if she were unhappy with this turn of events.

  “There a problem?” he said in a low voice to her.

  She looked up, startled. “Oh. No, no problem.” She quickly strapped her tracker to her wrist and turned to Pete. “You can be blindfolded first, though, okay?”

  Pete shrugged. “Fine with me.”

  The teams blindfolded their partners and began to set off in the woods. One of the businessmen—Steve—barked orders to his partner in a booming voice that echoed in the woods. Dane made a mental note to have a chat with Steve later and discuss why it was bad to talk at supersonic levels in the forest, especially when some of the tasks coming up would require stealth and avoiding the other team.

  His ears strained, and he could pick up Miranda’s soft, husky voice. “Left, Pete, left,” she was saying as she guided him past one tree and then another. “Two steps forward—I, no, two, Pete. Pete. Pete! Look out—”

  He watched her cringe as her partner ran into a low-hanging branch. They seemed to be having a bit of tr
ouble, so Dane planted the team flag in the center of camp, and then jogged over to trail behind Miranda and Pete.

  “You’ve got to give me better directions than that,” Pete was complaining to Miranda, stretching his hands out.

  “My directions are perfectly fine,” she argued with him. “Or they would be if you’d actually listen to them. When I tell you two steps, I mean two steps, okay?”

  “Two steps,” Pete agreed. He leaned forward, his hands searching as he moved. “Is there any wood nearby at least?

  Miranda thought for a moment as Pete’s hands flailed. “There’s a fallen limb about three paces to your left,” she began.

  Pete immediately did a complete about face and plunged toward her. His hands landed squarely on Miranda’s breasts.

  Shit. Dane strode forward, ready to break the two of them apart. It was day one and already it was looking like he’d have a sexual harassment suit on his hands. This was bad. This was very, very bad. And judging from the startled—yet pleased—look on Pete’s face, it wasn’t entirely unintentional. That did not surprise Dane. The nerd had been gunning for sexy Miranda since she’d showed up.

  He was, however, completely surprised when Miranda shoved Pete away and decked him square across the jaw.

  FIVE

  T

  his was not shaping up as she’d planned. Miranda trembled with anger as Dane stepped between her and Pete. He stretched an arm out to keep Miranda off of the fallen man, not that he needed to. She’d flattened him with one well-placed punch. Her hand throbbed like mad but that was all right—it could swell like a balloon and she wouldn’t take back the hit.

  Pete had totally deserved it. He pulled off his blindfold and stared up at the two of them, his glasses askew over his eyes and his expression shocked. His hand moved up to rub his jaw. “You hit me!”

  She resisted the urge to clutch her collar closed, to make sure that there was not an ounce of cleavage exposed. Instead, she forced her hands down to her sides, and they clenched there like fists. “You grabbed me,” she hissed back at him. “Don’t you ever do that again.”

 

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