by J Bree
Who the hell has a key to my door?
It swings open and Gryphon steps through. He is the last of my Bonds I expect to be here. He stands and looks over me critically, his eyes taking in every inch of my disheveled form. I've never been so aware of how much of a mess I must look. He's standing there dressed in his ripped jeans and biker boots, with a leather jacket slung over his shoulders and his hair curling around to his chin. His jaw keeps flexing like he’s grinding his teeth and he looks as though he's fuming.
"I'm going to need you to be really honest right now, Oleander. The girls downstairs are saying this is a botched abortion. I checked your GPS tracker and I know that it can't be unless you did it in a bathroom stall by yourself over lunchtime. So, what's going on?"
Hot tears of rage fill my eyes and I think about risking the wrath of North by running away from this fucking place. "Does it even matter what I say to you? It's not like you will believe me anyway."
His eyes follow the silent tracks of tears down my cheeks and I wipe them away hastily. Damn him for seeing me at such a freaking low point!
"Just tell me the truth."
I roll my eyes even though it hurts me to do such a small movement. "Well, it’s not a fucking abortion and it’s not a miscarriage. I have my period and I'm in a lot of pain. It's like this every time I get it but normally, I can get pain medication that will help. I don't have a bank card to get it delivered, and all of the drug stores are too far away to get back in time for curfew. I'm here for the long haul tonight and tomorrow, I’ll just have to be late for classes to get the damn Midol."
His eyes widen. I guess he wasn't expecting that sort of honesty from me tonight. Either that, or he doesn't believe me, which, to be honest, I'm in enough pain that I don't care. I just want him to leave me the hell alone until I’m feeling up for this sort of interrogation.
He nods at me slowly and then he hits the lights, the whole room plunging into darkness. My breathing becomes a little unsteady which, again, hurts a whole fucking lot. "What the hell are you doing?"
He doesn't answer me. He steps up closer to the bed and then I hear the rustling of his clothes. I swear to God I could laugh in his face. I just told him that I’m in complete agony and he wants to bond?
"You need to leave. I can't give you what you want right now."
He scoffs at me and I feel his hands moving me on the bed so that I'm teetering on the edge, then he slides in behind me. My heart begins to race so hard I can hear it pulsing in my ears.
"Gryphon, what the hell –"
"Just shut up," he snaps.
He pulls me back into his chest so that I’m laying a little more on the bed, and then one of his hands splays out on my bare stomach underneath my thin nightshirt. His palm is warm but it becomes scalding hot as his power flows through his skin and into mine.
The pain stops.
I start to cry all over again.
I stay stiff in his arms, mostly to stop the sobs from taking over my entire body and letting him know exactly how freaking pathetic I am. It doesn’t bother him, he starts to move me, just little adjustments until I’m more secure in his arms and we’re both comfortably wrapped up together.
I wait until I think my voice will be steady and not drenched with my tears before I croak out, “Thank you.”
He hums under his breath dismissively. I feel like the world’s biggest fucking bitch and it’s because of that, or the warm drugging sensation of his power, that I add, “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. This pain is nothing compared to that.”
His arms tighten around me until I think I can’t breathe, but it only makes me feel… safer.
I fall asleep easier and more deeply than I have in years.
I wake up alone in my bed.
My cramps are back but much more manageable, thank God. I feel bloated and cranky and ready to rip the faces off of any bitches that start on me today. I go and take a shower, thankful that the shared bathroom is blissfully empty.
I do have a little chuckle at the thought of North’s face if he found out I’d gotten into a fight with some of these girls. I can only imagine how terribly embarrassing that would be for the great Councilman himself. Then I remember his complete dismissal of me when he’d dropped me back here last night and the smile just falls straight off of my face. It doesn’t matter what they think. I’ll keep telling myself that until it sinks in.
I dry off and head back to my room to pull my clothes on for the day. I aim for comfortable and cute, needing what little armor I can have against these people, and I have my shirt halfway over my head when Gryphon unlocks my bedroom door and walks through. He doesn’t look up at me or notice my state of undress as he grabs the door to shut it and lock it behind him.
I manage to get the shirt over my bra before his eyes finally touch me. He doesn’t show any sign of being shocked, but he does take his time in dragging his eyes over my bare legs. I’m glad I chose cute underwear today because usually I stick with comfort while I’m on my period. The black bikini briefs are simple but sexy enough.
He glances at me. “I grabbed you the pills you need. I also grabbed a heat pack and some junk food. My sister lives on candy when she’s PMSing so I guessed you’d want that too,” he says, holding the plastic bag out to me.
I just stand there and blink at him for a second. “Why would you do that?”
He puts the bag down on my bed when it’s clear I’m not going to take it. I finally remember that I’m not wearing any pants and stumble over to my bag to grab my jeans, forgetting my plans for yoga pants now that Gryphon is here looking as hot as hell. I turn away from him to shove my legs in and try not to wince as I do them up. Why can’t they make cute jeans that don’t squeeze your uterus like a damn vise?
“I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to answer it honestly.”
I grimace and give him a side-eye. “And why would I answer it for you?”
He scoffs at me. “I helped you last night, didn’t I? It’s a simple question, nothing too revealing.”
My eyes narrow as I take him in. He did help me, he helped me more than he knows. It wasn’t just the pain I was feeling that he helped with, I was starting to feel like I couldn’t keep going here, but he changed that with a single act of kindness. I guess I do sort of owe him something.
I shrug. “I’ll answer what I can. I can’t promise you any more than that.”
I grab the Midol out of the bag and take it without any water, the pill dragging down my throat a little, then I sit on the bed to pull my shoes on. I don’t have long until my classes start and I need to eat something before or I’ll have to wait until lunch and that sounds like another form of torture. I really don’t want one of the Draven brothers up my ass today. I’ll be too likely to throat punch one of them and I need to hold onto my control.
It’s getting harder and harder to do.
“Did you want to run away from us, or were you forced?”
It’s an open question, open enough that I can answer it honestly without completely fucking my life up, so I sigh and give him a wry smile. “I’ll answer, but you won’t believe me anyway. I had no other choice. I can’t say any more without risking you and the other Bonds and, despite what you all think, everything I’ve done is to keep you safe.”
His eyes burn into my skin, hotter than his power had been on my stomach last night. “Tell me who is threatening you.”
I shake my head. “I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone.”
I watch as he grinds his teeth again, something he clearly does when I piss him off. We’ve barely spent any time together and yet I already know this about him. “What if I promise not to tell the other Bonds, would you tell me then? We could keep it between us and I’ll deal with the issue.”
I laugh at him as I stand and sling my bag over my shoulder. “Nox is your best friend, you sit through all of his bullshit at the stupid dinners. There’s no way you wouldn’t tell him. It do
esn’t matter anyway; I can’t tell you.”
The glare on his face gets darker and when I step towards the door, he doesn’t move away. I’ll have to brush against his body to get past him but as I move to do so, his arms shoot out and grab me. My breath leaks out of my lungs.
Too close. He’s too close and I’m too close to breaking the fuck down.
He stares into my eyes for a second before pulling a credit card out of his pocket and slipping it into mine. “That’s yours. You’ll use it for anything you need from now on. Order in food, pills, a new fucking bed, I don’t care. Just use it.”
Holy shit.
My brow furrows at him and I struggle to find the right words. “Why would you do that? I don’t want to take anything from you. If you could just get North to let me find a job, I can take care of myself.”
The hand he still has wrapped around one of my arms tightens. “Tell me you will use it if you need it.”
I roll my eyes at him for ignoring me. “Fine.”
I pull my arm out of his grasp and take another step towards the door, but he clearly has no intention of letting me go. He grabs me again, spinning until he can pin me against it with his body. A gasp rips its way out of my throat and he leans down, his eyes still hot with that intense heat of his, and he whispers, “Say it and mean it. There’s nothing worse than a liar.”
I swallow and gasp out, “I’ll use it if I have to but I still want a job of my own.”
He lifts one of his hands to trace the side of my face. “North will never risk losing you again. I don’t think he will ever let you find a job, but if you ask him directly, I’ll side with you.”
I can’t breathe with him this close to me, with the hard lines of his chest pressed against me, and he doesn’t make a move away from me, just holds me there against the door. The buzzing of his phone in his pocket pressed between us breaks the spell, and he curses under his breath as he steps away.
“Grab your shit, I’ll drive you down to the dining hall.”
He steps out of the room without another word, hovering by the door until I get it locked. The hallway is full of girls, all of them staring at him like he’s a slab of meat, but he doesn’t acknowledge them. He walks slowly enough that I can keep the pace without running, not that I would today with how freaking bloated I am, and then I realize that he knows that and is adjusting for me.
I don’t know what to do with that sort of consideration.
I’m just as awkward getting into his car this time around as I was the first time. I shoot Gabe a text to tell him where I am and then I shove the phone back into my bag. Gryphon doesn’t say a word and the three minute car ride is silent.
When we pull up at the dining hall, I clear my throat. "I really appreciate-"
"Are you going to try running off again?" he cuts me off, his eyes scanning the campus like he’s expecting me to be snatched off of the curb in broad daylight.
I frown and rub at the back of my neck, the little bump of the GPS chip still easy to find. It still kind of aches and I push at it to really feel the burn. "No."
Gryphon's eyes drop to my fidgeting and he says, "Would you run if we couldn't track you?"
He can smell my lies so I go with the truth. "I would have to run. It's better that way."
He nods slowly. "You could tell me, you know. It might change a lot of things for you around here.”
I shrug. "We both know it won't. Your bestie has already told me there's no excuse good enough for him to accept. I'm trapped here, and because of that, bad shit is going to happen. I'm doing everything I can to stop it but... it's probably going to happen anyway."
His fingers drum on the steering wheel. "The problem is that I know that you believe that. I just also know that whatever it is, you should have come to us about it instead of running. You should have trusted us."
I laugh at him, dark and freaking desperate. "Oh yeah? I was fourteen. Did you know my parents both died right before I was tested? Did you know I lost everything and... it happened? I'd just found out I was going to have Bonds and everything was going to be ok. I'd lost them, you know? I'd lost everything."
Gryphon's hands tighten so hard that the leather of the steering wheel creaks. "Did you want your Bonds? Back then?"
I blink back the tears that always come when I think about that time. "More than anything, that's what I wanted."
He nods. "And now? Do you want your Bonds now?"
I reach for the handle on the door to escape. I have to get the hell out of this car before he gets another truth out of me, the only truth here that eats at me every time I find myself trapped with one of them.
"Oli, answer me. Do you want your Bonds or not?" he growls, pushing the lock button to stop me from getting out.
I glance back at him, glaring at him for doing this shit to me. "There's no point in answering it. I can't have these Bonds. You all hate me, and I know it's too dangerous to try. I'm better off alone."
I get out but I hear his words before the door slams shut behind me. “That might be your truth, but it’s not mine.”
I need to stay the hell away from them all.
Chapter Twenty
Gabe questions why Gryphon was driving me into the campus but I brush him off easily, still mad that he had a hand in getting me to the Council dinner shit show with North. He doesn’t notice how pissy I am though and just shadows me like usual.
It’s not until we’re sitting with Sage and Sawyer at lunch in the dining hall, that he hears the rundown of what actually happened and he realizes just how angry I am at him over it.
“I only found out about the dinner when you did! How the hell is it my fault you had a shitty time? If interacting with girls your Bonds have fucked is enough to ruin your day, I have some bad fucking news for you.”
I jab him in the ribs, not that he notices because he’s made of muscle stacked on freaking muscle. “You shoved me at his people and left me to it! I almost died, and then I had to deal with the complete bullshit that is the gossips of my dorm because North wouldn’t stop at a freaking drug store for me.”
Sage winces at me. “I heard the rumors too. Obviously I didn’t believe them, and I told Gracie if she ran her mouth about it I’d tell her mom about her panting after someone else’s Bonds.”
Gabe frowns at her and glances between us. “What rumors? I haven’t heard anything.”
Sawyer scoffs at him and finally looks up from his phone. “Of course you didn’t, they’re talking shit about the Bond you’ve just called a truce with. You think Zoey and her little crowd of bimbo bitches would tell you to your face that they’re accusing your Bond of a self-administered abortion?”
I feel his control over his gift slip and it doesn’t take a genius to work out that he’s not lying about having no idea. I keep my eyes on my food because I don’t need his white knight bullshit.
“That’s why Gryphon brought you in. He heard—”
I cut him off, “Yeah and I had to convince him that it wasn’t true—”
“Well, of course it’s not fucking true! Who said it? Which of Zoey’s friends? I’m going to fucking kill—”
“You’re not going to kill anyone—”
Sawyer cuts in, “The two of you better not start fucking on the table here in the dining hall because this all feels like really angry foreplay to me and, honestly, I just want to eat my pizza in peace.”
I shoot him a look but almost instantly I have to shift my focus back to Gabe who is about to flip a table over this. I guess this is cutting a little too close to whatever the fallout of his Bond disappearing was and now he’s out for blood.
“Just forget about it. I honestly don’t give a shit about what some petty, jealous girls think of me. As long as it doesn’t cause me any grief with the Dravens, I don’t care.”
Sage winces again, mostly because both North and Nox terrify her, and I shoot her a grateful look. I’m thankful she’s here, listening to me whine and not judging me for being a
grumpy fuck about it all.
Gabe shoves the last of the grilled chicken from his plate of sadness into his mouth and says, “Gryphon will clear it up with North. Nox might still bring it up because he’s… like that.”
I shove my bag on my back and stand up, ready to get this day over with. “That a nice way to say he’s a total asshole who’ll bring it up over the dinner table for the next fifty fucking years.”
We make it through the day and even though Sage invites me to her place for tacos and textbooks, I bail on her, my stomach still a bloated, aching mess. I just want to mope around in my room and hate my life quietly for the night. She gets it, because what girl doesn’t, and leaves me behind with a hug and a promise to check in on me tomorrow.
I eat dinner early and then head back to the dorms to shower and get into something comfortable. I text Atlas back, just a general text to tell him about my day and let him know I’m okay, and then I hit the books hard.
A little after midnight, I’m still pouring over my textbooks for the next assignment Nox has us doing when my door unlocks and Gryphon steps through it, a bag dangling from one hand.
“You’re not even going to attempt to knock at all anymore?” I say, my voice tired and my hand shaking a little as I take notes because I’m so ridiculously freaking tired. I should have stopped hours ago but my brain doesn’t want to stop yet.
“I was expecting you to be asleep, not cramming. I didn’t think exams were for months.”
I shrug and watch as he kicks his shoes off. I have no fucking clue of what’s happening right now. “I’m a high school dropout, remember? I have no choice but to spend all of my spare time with my nose in my textbooks.”
He pulls his jacket off and throws it over the peg on the back of the door, covering the cracked and shitty mirror. I watch as he pulls his hoodie off as well, standing there in his low-slung jeans and a soft black tee, looking like sex on legs.